playfully, jeonghan raises both hands, palms open, as if in surrender. âi didnât say anything!â thereâs a light snicker that comes right after, taking the now-empty glass away from baekhyunâs grasp, placing it back on the night stand. heâll have to remember to take that to the kitchen when morning comes. that is, if he actually gets any sleep tonight. but he will stay, just because baekhyun asked him to.
with a sigh, really just for dramatic effect, to feign reluctance (baekhyun should know by now that jeonghan would do just about for him), jeonghan runs a hand through his hair. âonly because i love you so fucking much,â he teases, although there is only absolute truth to the statement. finally, a smile makes its way to brighten his features, expression softening.
jeonghan pulls his feet up on the bed, slips into the covers beside baekhyun, and tucking an arm under his head as a makeshift pillow. thereâs more than enough space for two - maybe three, if anyoneâs willing - but distance and proximity never really mattered much to jeonghan when it comes to the elder. both the blanket and baekhyunâs natural warmth keep the usually cold night tolerable. he reaches out, brushes messy bangs away from the otherâs eyes.
âokay,â he begins, an audible whisper. ask and you shall receive. no questions asked. âmy day was boring, but thatâs mostly because i spent the entire day asleep.â a pause, eyes narrowing as if in contemplation. he wracks his brain for something - anything - thatâs worth telling. âsometimesâŠâ he starts, trailing off. a pause, and he restarts, âactually, all the time, i wish i could just live my day like a normal fucking person. instead of having my ass dragged out to class every morning. it kind of sucks. it really sucks. i wish i wasnât such a lazy ass, you know?â
he punctuates this with a light chuckle to lessen the blow of his own words. his eyelids flutter closed, and he inhales deeply, slowly, taking in the familiar and comforting scent of the other male (one of the few constants in his life) and newly-laundered sheets. he opens his eyes then, half-lidded, as he asks, âyou ever just wanna⊠get away?â
call it fixation, but one thing that could put him to sleep faster than sleeping pills would be sharing a bed with others, especially jeonghan.Â
his mind travels back to the days when stability was a bedtime story. cold feet and clammy hands were his wake up call for every night. stomach pain frequent. baekhyun was just a sophomore back then, mind not accustomed to the stress and pressure he puts upon himself. red lines on skin instead of words on loose leafs. tears instead of coffee. yet he managed to hide it all from most--not all, because jeonghan always finds out.Â
even amidst the daze from his previous slumber, baekhyun thinks how easy it is to fall asleep with jeonghanâs voice, an accompaniment for his trip to dream land. he could be telling him about what his philosophy professor taught in class that day and baekhyun will still fall asleep. or maybe itâs just his presence? the ever calming weight that assures him that heâs not alone there.
he finds himself leaning towards the youngerâs cool touch. supplies a chuckle when jeonghan mentions morning classes. âi think that is the most normal you can get, jeonghan-yah.â he tangles their legs together under the blanket, just to prevent jeonghan from leaving once heâs asleep. a habit that stemmed from childhood. âbut yeah, i think i get your point.â presses his lips, adds. âyouâre not lazy. just.... less motivated?â
you have no idea. âsometimes. you know why i tend to disappear sometimes, right?â thereâs a tinge of guilt in his words, but baekhyun smiles anyway. because smiling is contagious and he wants to see jeonghan smile too. he doesnât want him to remember the times baekhyun had to âragequitâ from life. âi want to just... i donât know, drop everything and run away. maybe forget who i am and start with a blank slate?â feelings are ridiculous. memories hold you back. âmaybe be a baby again and redo whatever i did wrong in my life?â
settling upon the cool side of his pillow, baekhyun continues. âdo you want to get away too, jeonghan-yah? maybe we could take a train to busan or wherever, backpack for a couple of days. somewhere far away from here just the two of us.âÂ
