Of others to the illusion
Of predictability, the consistency
Of what they mean to me as some
Kind of pattern. But in losing him
I learn that I never really did
I never really did understand him
Does overcoming triggers through
Belief in the knowledge of the other,
Trust in their goodness, mean understanding?
Does seeing the same person anew
Foretell fewer expectations and am I
Capable of letting them be, now,
I understand the gulf between
What I see in you and what you
Have the potential to become in
Yourself, just like I see
The divide between what I desire
In our collision and what happens
When you stop seeking and let
What will beckon be, and heed mystery
The understanding then is in the call
Each time I’m hailed and the seeing
Leaves me fuller and richer and hearty
With presence, rather than the response
It’s the place where my urge to be understood
Disappears, that I can understand
The other as a being totally apart
From me, and that’s their beauty
But that presents a puzzle, doesn’t it
At the chance of mutual understanding:
Can I understand while being understood?
Or must we rotate turns until we’ve withstood
Journeys to dark caverns of mind
Where your birth matched the contours
Of my disbelief at being born;
Or maybe a spite at existence
Forms wherever the other’s indifference
Makes the quest to understand superfluous
Maybe I stop understanding what
Can’t understand me, and then depart
Away, off and away until the space
Creates the possibility of merging
Again at safe distances, perhaps
Peeking surreptitiously is all that sees
Past the durable walls built to confine
Oneself from the hurt of that fated day
When understanding ends. Maybe the lesson
Portends that it wasn’t their assignment
After all, and it goes back to choice,
Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a
Mole hill and we knew each other
Immediately upon locking gazes
And the rest is all a fairy tale written
To disguise the passage of time
Warping the me who understands you
From being as simple as us two
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