TW: Death, Blood, slightly gory but not really
I saw you waiting for me at midnight. The airport was nearly empty, and my flight was delayed because of the storm. I thought you’d be back at your apartment, quietly sleeping now, but seeing you slumped on that chair, still holding that placard with my name on it, made my eyes tear up and it burnt my skin. It took all my strength not to just hug you tight and kiss your stupid caring face then and there, but I didn’t want to wake you up. So I went to your side, and have you lean over me. When you saw me, there was a brief flicker of confusion, then your eyes softened when you saw Noir, my kitten, curled on my lap. We laughed like old times, and wandered into the night in search of food, with your warm hand in mine.
It took almost a year after you died, but I managed to move on, carrying a piece of you with me at all times. I started dating again, casual at first, but gradually I started making serious commitments, each new person a faint echo of you.
Rema was a kind soul, sweet, like you - except he hated that one movie you loved. We argued about it for hours, and clearly that couldn’t work. I talked it out with him one night, and eventually he poured out his heart to me. A day later, and we were good. You were cooking your favorite dish again, you and I watched your favorite movies, we slept together. It was like it was before.
“I’ve been having nightmares lately. Dreamt that I died, it was painful.”, you told me one night, “I feel like I’ve forgotten some… things. It’s all hazy.”. I helped ease you with some tea I brewed myself. But it could only delay the inevitable. Things started to sour as the month went on, so I was forced to bury that relationship.
I met Herodytheus just a week after that, and I am ashamed to say I fell hard. They were almost like you except better, at least that’s what they wanted to show. They keep trying to one-up every memory of you that I had, and for two weeks, I didn’t mind. But in my thoughts, all I of it was you. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one fixated on you. They were insecure, jealous of your memory, accusing me of always comparing them to you. Oh, they were right though. How could anyone measure up to you? But I can fix that.
We traveled, like we had always planned before you got sick. You led the way, your hand always in mine. I couldn’t let you go, not even for a second. I felt you stir at dawn, but I held you back, as if by doing so, I could keep you with me forever. But then you went overboard. You said you wanted a cruise, and I gave in. The police couldn’t find their body, but I did not care about that. Families and friends sent me “Sorry for your loss” cards and my neighbors keep trying to comfort me when they see me. But I was just confused. Why are they sad? You weren’t gone.
I found someone in a bar at night. They were just passing through. New in town. You don’t have to be jealous; I didn’t really commit to memory half the things that they said. I even forgot their name. I promise “I didn’t really want to drive through that storm”, they said. It didn’t really take long before we’re out of there, in my car, to my apartment.
I basically dragged them into the dark, my apartment shrouded in shadows, the storm knocking out the lights. I laid them down the bed and took off their top as I grabbed my saw and methodically carved their flesh until I reach their heart, gently excising it while it’s still beating. I produced a small box that contained your calcified heart, it’s cold now and dead, but soon enough, it will be full of life. Oh I can’t wait to hear it beat again.
I placed your heart inside their chest and stitched the flesh together, desperate and trembling. The storm howled outside, the lightning flashing closer and closer. “Revertere, anima ex mortuis. Cor tuum vocat, tuae carni redeas.”, my chant rose in the darkness while a green glowing fog surrounded their body.
The moment seemed to stretch forever, until the glow sinks into your skin, and the light faded. I touched your chest, and felt it warm under my fingers. And I heard it – your hearbeat.
I stroke your hair, as I admire you once more. “Wake up sleepy head~”, I crooned close to your ears.
You woke up with a jump, as if startled. You glared at me with your green eyes. Oh your sweet twitching eyes, I could get lost in them for hours. I held your hands, obviously quivering from excitement.
“Where am I? Why am I here? I… I was gone.”, you asked. “Oh you know you could never be far from me, you’re enchanted by me, admit it.”, I answered, “Your heart is already mine.” I continued as I traced your healed chest scar.
“I just want to rest. Let me go… please.”, you pleaded. “But babe, why would you want that”, I asked, “When we can spend eternity together. We just need a fresh supply of bodies and we’re good.”
You were inconsolable, crawling towards the door, trying to escape. Being generally ungrateful for your third life… fifth… twentieth? I lost count.
“Just end my misery, I can’t take it anymore. In my mind, all I hear are screams.” Why are you being so irritating, why can’t you see that I did this for you? You can’t even appreciate all the efforts I’ve done? I inch closer and closer, taking my time to observe your new body. “Hmmm… this one has dirty toe nails… we can work on that, right babe?”
Just when I managed to reach you, you grabbed the broom by the door and smacked my head with it. You must forgive me, babe, I must have lost my patience. I do that sometimes. You know how it goes.
When my vision returned, I have your throat surrounded by my hands. You didn’t even struggle, it was effortless and your heart is silent, once again.
I am frustrated at you. I screamed, throwing myself at the walls, shattering everything in my path. Why wouldn’t you stay? After everything I’d done... Why wouldn’t you stay? All I want is to be with you, you said you want that too. Were you lying? No, you weren’t, you loved me as well. I just need to make you understand. You just have to understand.
I’ll make you understand.
One more body. One more heart. I prepare myself. You and I, together.
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