Do Androids Dream of Becoming Human, or do Humans Dream of Abandoning Humanity?
Nekomaru as a character is still rather niche in the wider fandom, even after so many years, which is rather surprising considering he is one of the non-main, non-blackened, non-survivor characters of the game with a somewhat completed arc, and a disruptive one at that for a relatively minor character, cutting into the playtime of two separate chapters. His change in outward appereance and everyone's reaction to it is so drastic, and his death is so violent yet so involved in the themes of both the chapter he is killed in and the game as a whole, that it's surprising that long scale analysis of him is so hard to find. Especially considering that the main change brought upon by that arc, his artifice or "inhumanity", becomes a very prevalent theme for the rest of the game, something which is also emphasised by other, even more plot-relevant characters.
Nekomaru Nidai
Nekomaru Nidai introduction is as the hot-blooded and masculine Ultimate Team Manager, his looming appereance complimenting both his personality and talent. He occupies a curious space in the plot; he's both much more cool-headed and put together than initially shown, filling in a pseudo-leader role, especially after Twogami's demise, and he assists in the first trial... in a rather retrogade manner. His 'assistance' is a comedic moment in which him requesting the bathroom during the party secures Peko's alibi as its silent occupier. Not only does this scene incredibly embarass Peko, but it's when Nekomaru adopts his most memorable catchphrase and variations thereof; "I'm gonna SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!"
However, I'd argue that the use of this line has been kind of exaggerated after the fact, both out, but also within the game. I'll further elaborate on this later...
In Chapter 2, Nekomaru's plot importance ramps up a bit. He continues acting in the role of leader, taking the initiative to incapacitate Nagito along with Kazuichi, after the chaotic first trial and seemingly prompted by the former's small speech. Though, I feel like it would be important to mention that this action isn't exactly justified within the narrative; Nekomaru whacks Nagito over the head after expressing annoyance with said speech, a scene which takes place an indeterminate amount of time after the first trial and, presumably, after the rest of the class has since then left, considering they later wonder about Nagito's whereabouts. When questioned, Nekomaru and Kazuichi try to talk around the matter and feign ignorance, perhaps knowing that such action would be seen as 'taking it too far' by the others, even for someone like Nagito, which did end up happening. I would say that, even though both of them argue that the action had been justified because Nagito had shown himself to be a danger, they did not confront him immediately after the trial's end, in which such decision might've been regarded as more understandable by the rest of the cast too; the 'straw that broke the camel's back' was an ideological rambling that they themselves didn't seem to fully grasp or want to grasp, the actual problem moreso seeming to be the person saying it, and that he dared to say it. Afterall, Nekomaru's main complaint towards Nagito was that he was being too "annoying". The capture, incapacitation and isolation of Nagito, with him being hog tied on top of it, seems to intimately connect Nekomaru's more central role as leader, and thus more stakes for in-group safety, coherence and social acceptance, with a scapegoat which embodies the group's anxieties and therefore necessiates 'intervention' and removal. The irony is that Nekomaru will come to experience both the role of leader and scapegoat.
In this chapter, we also see Nekomaru develop a close relationship with Akane, highlighted in a scene in which he acts as her personal trainer; both their talents are related to athletics, but Akane's abilities and interests are more varied than the specialty her talent implies (her desire to be strong and shown fighting versus her being described as just a "Gymnast") and even though Nekomaru's more generalised talent could be subtextually rationalised in him becoming a leader proxy, in the athletic department he only coaches Akane during the game one on one. In the specific fight scene, Nekomaru criticises her technique, and lectures her that she's too brash without a proper method, relying too much on instinct and, ironically, not enough on her Gymnast talent. Their sparring is violent enough to be seen as a fight by Ibuki, who later elaborates it as a "one-sided beatdown" after Nekomaru thouroughly decimates Akane both in body and approach, though Nekomaru detests that description. They develop a close enough bond that Nekomaru doesn't just 'beat down' Akane, but ends up taking care of her too in turn, in the form of intimate massages that take on the connotation of innuendo. Despite the slightly crass undertone, it becomes clear that Nekomaru had become the most solid support system for Akane so far, portrayed as the one person that most consistently tries to guide and make her listen. All that said, the reading that their relationship is not as healthy or positive as it appears is not hard to make; Nekomaru has a very harsh, tough love approach which he demonstrates during their training scene. He adopts a much more serious and strict attitude than initially appeared in his comedic relief moments, towards Akane specifically, under the guise of training and making her stronger as a 'necessary evil'. He is bulkier and looks older, which adds to him being framed as an authority figure in comparison to her, in addition to his talent being training related. Both his demanding training and his soothing massages frame him as having control of Akane both physically and mentally, as him 'taming' a 'wild woman' and his more rationally minded and 'restained' strategies contrasting with Akane relying on instinct and not being good at containing her emotions, especially her anger. Both his demise and Akane's following misfortune could be blamed on the fact that she didn't follow his advice.
Speaking of which, Akane's provocation of Monokuma is foreshadowed by her training session with Nekomaru; in both cases she enters into a fight with someone stonger than her, upsetting the casts' peace, gets in way over her head and needs to be stopped before the situation escalates further. Nekomaru is the one who stops her in both situations, but with different results, with the situation he had control over himself being the one not just with less casualties, but in which the violence is made out as useful, if not essential. After being notified of Akane's intentions during Fuyuhiko's party, he muses:
He holds himself responsible for her 'acting out of turn', an extension of not just his Team Manager talent but also his acquired leader role, though he does place specific emphasis on his talent. It should also be noted how he refers to Akane as "that wild woman".
As he throws himself to take on Monokuma's hit, he says:
"This is NEKOMARU NIDAI'S final firework! Make sure you sear it into your eyes!"
Even from his first death, he portrays himself as the heroic sacrifice whose purpose is not just to save, but to inspire others to keep going through his sacrifice. It should be taken into account that fireworks are by design beautiful and bombastic but temporary, taken out only for specific and important events and designed to leave afterimages, so their invocation here could be read as fairly notable.
After taking the hit, Nekomaru explains his action as an extension of his "duty" and ties it back to his talent:
(I could swear there's another character that rationalises their choices in a similar way but their name escapes me, hmm...)
He gives a few comforting words to Akane, and urges her not to die. After he gets taken away, we can see that the effect his brush with death had on her and the others was much more negative than perhaps he hoped; Akane especially is in denial and certain of his return, and retreats into her coping mechanism, blaming herself for being "too weak".
Half a chapter later though, when informed of his return, her and everyone else is hopeful, a much needed positive surprise in the face of escalating adversity. However, the cast would come face to face with something nobody could have expected...
Mechamaru
Nekomaru's recovery had not just gone well, but swimmingly, considering that he was fully back to his usual boisterous self, taunting his friends in his usual brash but good-mannered way, and even more in high spirits than when he was last seen. It was clear that he was more than just fully recovered, he was also fully rejuvenated... by his own standards alone. When he revealed his new form to his friends, he was met by Sonia's high pitched scream, confusion and anger.
"No matter how we look at it... this isn't you at all...!"
Even if not only he did not show any conflicted feelings on his new body, if anything he was ecstatic, more ecstatic than any previous scene we've seen of him, the rest weren't so easy to accept him, accept "it" as him. In the world of the killing game where brutality and class trials had by then become commonplace, where his own sacrifise was used as an example of the brutality of their world, it was his resurrection that seemed most jarring to his friends because his form had upset and disoriented them. As much as he showed signs of being himself, just an even happier version, the rest treated him and his new body as monstrous or a bad joke, with Kazuichi himself trying to "take it off" of him.
Akane, even though she is more accepting of Nekomaru's return as Mechamaru, also sees this body as a burden, just one where she should take the blame for bringing it upon Nekomaru, reverting back to her coping mechanism:
Fuyuhiko at least directs a question to Mechamaru rather than at, but it doesn't make it any less loaded, stating not only his discomfort with that robot body but how anyone would tolerate it:
"How...can you accept that body...?"
I think its interesting how Fuyuhiko is the one to direct that question to Mechamaru, considering he himself had lost a body part in a similarly drastic way, except his own change of appearance was never insulted or even remarked upon further than one brief scene in early chapter 3. One could say it's meaningful that Nekomaru's sacrifice took place during Fuyuhiko's recovery party on narrative symmetry alone, but I also think it's meaningful in how Fuyuhiko's body difference is allowed to fade ino being simply a part of his design, albeit a tragic one, but Mechamaru's body is outwardly and consistently singled out as a grotesque abberation, as part of his arc.
Mechamaru gives his own reasoning fro how he feels about his body, tying into the next chapter's theme about the importance of living no matter what happens, but also foreshadowing Mechamaru's eventual fate:
When Monokuma shows up to "admire" his work, which Akane herself chastises him for, it is implied to be the explanation for everyone's negative reactions to Mechamaru's new form; that it was Monokuma's malicious doing, toying with Nekomaru's body:
But, even if it was the intial explanation for their reactions, and even if it is a justifiable concern, none of them seem to be actively having a conversation with Mechamaru, who is outright ecstatic about his new body. It seems that most of the characters are just upset about the change by itself and seeking reasons to rationalise it, if even that. As Monomi, a bit later on and unintentionally, puts the situation rather concisely:
"I, too, was modified by Monokuma, so I totally understand how Nekomaru feels..."
(The joke is that Monomi doesn't actually empathise at all with Mechamaru's situation, she just uses him as a conduit to project her own woes)
To a part of the cast, the fact that Mechamaru does not look like "Nekomaru", is reason enough to be scared and suspicious. As Sonia states:
"Um... will Nekomaru never return to his original form...?"
"If that is the case... it is a burden for Nekomaru!"
Throughout the whole scene, there's only three characters that aren't outright disgusted or hostile towards Mechamaru, at least not all the way through. Those include the indifferent Chiaki, who is also the only one to talk further with Mechamaru and try to assess his new body's needs the next day:
A one off compliment by Nagito praising Mechamaru's determination and connecting it to hope (right after the "I don't care what happens to my body" comment by Mechamaru):
And Kazuichi's growing obsession with Mechamaru's mechanical body, and only of the body's use as technology, despite his own previous fright towards it and, more importantly, despite Mechamaru's own strong objections:
(His persistance and "show me your insides lines" especially bring uncomfortable connotations to mind...)
Even after all this, the majority of the cast still remain uncomfortable and seem unable to comprehend Mechamaru... simply having a diffent body.
From then on Mechamaru continues to be slighlty isolated by the rest of the cast; his sits alone and in the back of the carnival rides, he is not really directly addressed except when it is to quip about his functions and his body. In the Funhouse when left behind by the others in a group with Hajime, he notes:
"I guess we're the leftovers... looks like we're not very well liked..."
But, even though at the start of the chapter their situations are similar, Hajime never directly empathises with him while he's alive. Considering how the player can view Hajime's internal monologue, we're made aware of every annoyed, dramatic and uncomfortable comment he makes about Mechamaru's body; even if aware and resentful of his own isolation by the others during the Funhouse's split-up segment, he just makes more comments being unnerved about Mechamaru's machine functions and make a connection between their situations at all.
In the Funhouse, Mechamaru is the one to follow an activity like Monokuma Tai Chi, the one to follow Monokuma, rather than have himself direct or try to control the activity, like his talent implies; the leader has lost his authority and become the follower.
It is not just in his loss of humanity that he is disconnected from the others, but also in the 'incompetence' of his robotic functions; they're either 'gross' and ridiculed like his beverage tears, seen as too unimportant, like his clock function, unnerve the others, like his mechanical noises, or outright impede him, like his power down button. Even his most directly useful functions, like advanced sensory capabilities, get brushed off and downplayed at the moment when they're first displayed, a scene where he is also called "heartless" by Akane, his supposedly closest connection; it turns into a joke about Mechamaru being offended by "robo-prejudice".
It is only after his second death, his more planned out and violent death, that he got treated to some of his friends' warmth, even acceptance, again:
if I am to phrase it more cynically, it was only when he wasn't present anymore, when he wasn't actually 'alive' with all his quirks and flaws included, that they were able to appreciate him again; they couldn't deal with him in person, so in his stead, they idealised a memory.
In other words, by 'abandoning' humanity, he was in turn rejected by it too in almost every way, and it was only after his own death, and thus elimination of his 'unpleasant' traits, that he was reintegrated, or rather assimilated, back into humanity.
During the trial, Gundham rationalises his decision to kill Mechamaru not just in him consenting and putting up a fight, but in that he let himself die, in that he did not intend to "cling to life"; in that he was a man already on borrowed time and that he sacrificed himself so that the others could continue living themselves. In a way, Gundham justifies his victory on the argument that he hadn't given up on life, that he hadn't "insulted" life, which carries the reverse implication that Mechamaru lost because he had given up on life, or rather, that there was nothing more he had to offer to the others while alive. The best thing he could do to 'make it up' to humanity for his physical transformation, his transgression, was to let go of his own life and future so the others could continue on living and thrive; perhaps it was that, as a machine both his body and his personality wouldn't additionally change, they would remain still and static. Therefore, he himself had no future, and thus it would have had no meaning for him to remain alive at the expense of a 'real' human being, one capable of further change.
Both Gundham's and Mechamaru's sacrifices ended up spurring on and inspiring the others to "keep on living" themselves, to honor their memory, serving as a brief glimpse of motivation and hope in the final and darkest parts of the game.
In hindsight, it is ironic how when Mechamaru was still human and accepted by the others his death was grim, confusing and heightened tensions between the rest of the cast, but when he 'abandonded' humanity and was denied, excluded and reviled from it in turn, is when his death became hopeful and inspiring.
Trans...Humanism
Transhumanism is the philosophical umbrella term that includes a wide variety of people, organisations and movements which concern themselves with the possibility of the enhancement of humanity via a range of technologies to improve longevity, cognition, and well-being. Ever since the emergence of the term, there have been discussions not only of benefits of such technology, but also of the wider ethical dilemmas regarding its use for body modification, human autonomy and surveillance. Some transhumanists have speculated that humans may eventually be able to transform themselves into beings of such vastly greater abilities as to merit being called "posthuman"; a lot of fictional interpretations of such beings portray them as either partly or wholly having incorporated an amount of technology into their bodies and further detail their thoughts and feelings on the matter. The genre that has most consistently been employed for the fictional interpretations of such transhumanist themes and tropes has been Science-Fiction, and specifically its much more reserved and pessimistic sub-genre, cyberpunk. Cyberpunk took on a much more somber and critical approach in its portrayal of a supposedly transhumanist future, highlighting themes such as crime, addiction, corruption, the anxieties surrounding human modification and even the emergence of another humanoid intelliegent species . One of the most seminal, if not the seminal, works in the genre is Philip K. Dick's "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?", the title of which is spoofed in Goodbye Despair's fourth chapter title, as a nod to Nekomaru Nidai's drastic robotic transformation.
A large part of Dick's novel lies in the discernment of the true difference between the artificial and the physical, and if the measurement of it is even possible; in the book, the only way to distinguish between androids and humans is an emphathy test, a distinction that though is minor in it criteria still portrays androids as merely adversaries without any depth or only deception in its place. The interesting thing is that the humans of the book have themselves anxieties about secretly being androids, a fear that eventually escalates into a blood coated shootout in which even the protagonist questions his own humanity.
With this additional information, we can more easily analyse chapter 4, at least how Mechamaru's character specifically is handled. Everyone's heightened suspicion and fear of him isn't just an exaggerated reaction to a weird situation, but a purposeful, perhaps slightly drawn out, reference to the themes of the book and its main source of conflict. Under that lens, Mechamaru's death takes on a more positive quality, in which his acceptance and reintegration into humanity tries to resolve the book's noncommitalness in addressing the interiority of its android characters, or even androids as a concept.
But why must "humanity" be the criteria of acceptance at all? How can it even be defined in this situation? The android, as described in the seminal work that the chapter gets its name from, is intially coined as not only an Other from humanity, but a lesser Other (if the titular "electric sheep" are anything to go by), an uncanny Other, an Other who is so close to being human and yet never manages to be fully integrated, an Other which is feared and policed and needs to be subjugated by humanity precisely because of this curious dual positionality.
If the android is unsettling and hated, then the cyborg is even moreso, because the cyborg chose to abandon its humanity in service of a different form, even if its mechanical modifications are seen as more beneficial, and even necessary, in a cyberpunk world.
Mechamaru fits a bit more in the "cyborg" category than the "android" one; a large part of the cast's confusion and distaste towards his new condition lies in the comparison between his old human form and his new mechanical one. Though, the condition is treated as anything other than his choice; even if he is the happiest and most motivated we've seen him all game, people blame Monokuma for "messing with his body" or, in the case of Akane, blaming themselves for what happened. But other than when he's displaying his new functions, they almost never actually talk directly to him; they either act terrified or disgusted by his new body and functions or internally berate Monokuma. Untill his death, he is, at best, treated like an object that everyone is directing their anxieties and guilt towards or, at worst, actively isolated, ignored and pathologised. As Gundham remarks when they enter the Funhouse, even if the most negative emotion Mechamaru had showed untill then was slight irritation, and not even at them excluding him:
"He probably wants to live like humans as much as he can... Such is the sad nature of robotic organisms..."
Nekomaru's new identity is minimised, seen as lesser, or worse, seen as a mere and pathetic imitation of his former self and humanity as a whole. What is even more unsettling, is that this observation is made by the person that would eventually kill Mechamaru and justify doing so.
But thats not all. After his death, after the end of the existence of his most hated iteration, which trait of his does Hajime bring up first in his sentimetal flashback as a positive trait, as the silver lining, as the first glimpse that he didn't completely hate Mechamaru?
"Truly, he was more man than any of us."
His masculinity.
When Gundham justifies their fight, and thus turns both of them into inspiring figures that should motivate the others to keep on living, which trait of Mechamaru does he also note? His masculinity, that he fought like a man.
If during his life Mechamaru was hated, but was accepted again during his death, then perhaps it wasn't his poetic reincorporation into humanity that necessarily brought upon that change. Or, that perhaps there was an even more specific variable that ushered that acceptance back into humanity; his reassimilation to masculinity.
Him becoming a cyborg didn't just distance him from his body in the most literal sense, but also in all that it signified, most notably his manhood, and therefore the respect he gained from everyone else due to it, even in his most crass moments. Should it not be further elaborated that he seemed even more open and expressive in his new body than the old one?
His final, violent death ended up being more inspirational to the others than his first, because that sacrifice put him firmly back into the role of their manly leader. Either way, he wasn't alive anymore to challenge that perception.
Tinymaru
The day after Mechamaru's death, in the cafeteria, Kazuichi presents Akane with a gift, a tiny watch that resembled Mechamaru, made by whatever salvageable materials he could find off of his body; its name was Tinymaru. Not only was it in the shape of a clock, a deeply loaded item for chapter 4 and Mechamaru specifically, but its main function was repeating either catcphrases Mechamaru initially coined, or whatever its wearer, mainly Akane, last said. Kazuichi notes of it:
"Of course, it doesn't have free will or anything, so it's more like, you know, a toy..."
Tinymaru is a machine form, an abstraction of Mechamaru in the most extreme sense, than can be subsumed and controlled by anyone other than himself, and him not having the capability to state otherwise, or even state an opinion longer than a parroted or abridged sentence. The silver lining is that this extreme body modification wasn't made with Monokuma's involvement... Meaning that the real problem with Mechamaru's previous form didn't have anything to do with Mechamaru's autonomy, consent or the limitations of the new body itself, just intention. Since this new form was made by his friends, there's no way they could have less than ideal intentions, right?
Kazuichi continues:
"...Well, it doesn't matter. I made this to cheer you guys up anyway."
"And... as long as we have it, we won't forget, you know? About Nekomaru's sacrifice for us..."
Nekomaru died two times, and he got brought back two times in machine form. The first time, his machine form was reviled and confusing for everyone else except him, even though he was a man living on borrowed time. Ironically, the second time, his last manifestation, is also in machine form, but without his free will and most of his personality. He was brought back only for the comfort of the people he 'left behind', as a reminder of a form the others only appreciated after his death. As Tinymaru summarises in one of his one sentence lines, a little bit later on, paraphrasing Akane:
"A REAL MAN FIGHTS WITH HIS FISTS!"
Stripped of conscience and control, he becomes an avatar of what people think 'Nekomaru' should be remembered by.
However, the scene of the cafeteria isn't just notable because of the resolution of Nekomaru's arc. The scene involves some other characters that, in one way or another, are excluded from humanity.
Nagito Komaeda
"I can't rely on anyone on this island... That's why I have to be the one who does it..."
Nagito is constantly separated from and by the others throughout the whole game, but especially here; chapter 5 is the culmination of his own character and his unreconcilable seperation from the others, either through his revelations about their world or through his own actions, whether against them or himself.
That first day, in which everyone is motivated, are soothed by Tinymaru's resolution, in which Hajime reveals his Reserve Course identity to the rest, he doesn't join them at the restaurant. The rest of the cast have him pegged as the immediate threat and work together try to have him neutralised, only for him to outsmart them and things to end up from bad to worse by each passing day. He is at first excluded through his volatile behavior, then his actions towards others, and then a final action in which he excludes himself. Even if that final action was a sacrifice hinged on an incredible revelation, one where he aimed to protect at least one person for the fate of the world, it never gets the reevaluation that Mechamaru's sacrifice did. He remains excluded from humanity untill the end.
From the start, he didn't consider his talent, his presence and existence as a whole worthwhile on their own but only as something that could be used to give other people a headstart. But, just this once, the inequality leans towards him; he possesses the knowledge not just of his talent, but their talents, their crimes and the true nature of that world, but he cannot exempt himself from it. Ever since the first trial, he was seen as the other, but even moreso in this chapter, even when to him, it is finally the Ultimates that have become the others. And yet, even before he sets off his final plan, he tries to give them little chances to prove themselves to him, even in his final challenge, he still leaves some leeway to be proven wrong... But he still had to die for the good of the world, and the worst thing of all is, the others will never accept that and they will never forgive him for it.
He was another man that was living on borrowed time, that tried to put that time to good use, but unlike Mechamaru, his heroics were in vain. The others never had a better version of him that they could miss once he was gone, he never managed to fully pass the threshold into heroics; humanity will always evade him.
Chiaki Nanami
Chiaki had always been living on borrowed time, her existence was by design temporary; she exists in so far as the Neo World program, maybe even just in this specific session of it. Even if the game could be rebooted, even if the condition of death reversed, this specific Chiaki, molded from these specific events, could never exist again. She wasn't planned with the threat of a 'human' death in mind, and yet she still had to face it.
If Mechamaru was the "cyborg", she was the "android", inhuman from the start, Other by conception; she is the "traitor", a machine planned with different, yet complementary, motives from the despairs. From the first chapters, even when the trials and investigations began, and even if she plays a large part in their conduct, she is still distant and reserved, zoned out and weird. She at the very least knows she's not like the others. In the scene at the cafeteria,after everyone else has grown closer and pumped up, she remarks wistfully:
"You guys... seem reliable..."
To which Hajime replies:
"Hey, don't talk like you're not included. You're our friend too, you know..."
Curiosly, even if Chiaki wasn't built with the intention of anything more than to blend in, even if she was Other from the start, her role had her surrounded by humanity, and even in these dire circumstances she admired it, and was accepted by it, all of it; even the protagonists and the antagonists, for better or for worse. That's why her own sacrifice was also accepted, cherished and managed to, in the end, be incorporated into humanity.
In Summary
Let me use this final section to summarise the relationship the characters that I discussed in this very long post have with humanity.
In short:
Mechamaru: Human who abandoned humanity, even if not by choice, and in his embracement of that new form, ended up being excluded from it. Ended up only being accepted back after his death.
Nagito: Human who was excluded from humanity and, in response, abandoned it himself later in favor of the traitor, the most "inhuman" character of all. He was never accepted back into humanity.
Chiaki: Non-human, perhaps the most non-human character, who was never meant to embrace humanity in herself. She was always slightly seperated from the others, but she was never fully excluded from humanity. Her non-humanity thoughstill persisted, to her detriment as it indirectly led to her death. However this sacrifice led to her being even more cemented into the group and incorporated in humanity.
All in all, even if Mechamaru was allowed to be depicted as happy in his 'abandonment' of humanity, on the whole humanity is depicted as the ultimate desirable quality, and the people that are excluded from it or even deny it untill the end, end up being denied and villainised in turn. Although, if a non-human 'tries hard enough' they can end up being accepted into humanity, a position that is more positive and mutable than the book the title of chapter 4, and even other cyberpunk works, end up being.
When I was still unsure of Nagitos true character, I watched the OVA. At the time I kept feeling so conflicted about him and how he felt about himself and his classmates. My 'GOODBOY RADAR' was going off, but all I had were the smallest little implications that he cares about them as people, rather than just as ultimates. LIKE,,, i dont know, I was afraid he didnt consider himself their friend. Just idols that he sits back and observes, and hes always so content to do so.
I was so worried that he honestly never felt like they were his friends, and he would always isolate himself from them, and that hope and despair was all he truly cared about. In the small moments we get of Nagito in chapter 1, just being a normal kid and helping out- i felt like it wasnt really a lie. Not really an act, and im so sure that is a genuine part of him,, idk man it just gets brushed off in the end
I analyzed the shit outta the ova when i watched it because it was fuelling my hopes that he was really genuinely a goodboywhocaresabouthisbuddies and can be happy to just exist next to them… and when he woke up from that dream, he immediately dismissed all of those actions and emotions,, he simply cant be that person (anymore?)
And hearing him deny it scared me, cuz i want to believe in the nagito inside.. The good heart beneath all hes done and said- that there was something more than what he wanted us to believe. And I wanted him to know he belonged.. Not just a spectator.
He was telling me that what I hoped was really just me being optimistic after all. I was afraid I was reading too far into things, was I wrong about him? He was convincing me again.
But
Even after all that talk, convincing us that he doesnt long for such things, that they arent important to him…
When he finally wakes up to see his classmates, its a different story. Seeing them all, remembering everything. The tragedy, hopes peak, jabberwock, and now his dream.
He smiles
And when he sees Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi,, thats when I knew he was okay. And it had like- in an instant, brought me back from the despair of thinking that maybe i was making things up, or completely misreading him, and told me that everything i saw and felt and hoped for him just must be true
Because he couldnt physically hold himself back anymore, not after seeing them- smiling and alive, remembering everything they had been through together, he had to hold them. Despite all his attempts at refuting his emotions.. He couldnt once he actually saw them, how could you? And just that he allowed himself to just embrace them.. To come together..
It's so awesome that komaeda's worldview was crushed in his last few days alive I love that for him it's awesome that he was so miserable and hajime rejected his last desperate attempt at connection
I think it would be beautiful and wonderful if hajime found himself sitting beside komaeda while he was in a coma, tormented by guilt over how he potentially could have stopped komaeda if he just listened to him for one minute and how he thought of komaeda as specifically malicious during his trial now that he knows what komaeda knew and now that hajime came very close to doing something awful out of despair himself. I think it would be lovely if he felt so guilty he nearly threw up and could only calm himself down by reminding himself of everything else komaeda did and by reassuring himself that komaeda (alone) actually did his awful thing while hajime (not alone) did not
Here's the official masterpost involving optional dialogue or monologues from the Danganronpa games!
What's been updated? - The size of the docs have been condensed down drastically now being separated into more docs (rather than one whole chapter taking up one full doc), moments I've previously forgetten have been included, the quality has also been improved in certain screenshots, etc.
DR1: Trigger Happy Havoc
Prologue
Ch.1:
Daily Life | Deadly Life | Class Trial
Ch.2:
Daily Life | Deadly Life | Class Trial
Ch.3:
Daily Life | Deadly Life | Class Trial
Ch.4:
Daily Life | Deadly Life | Class Trial
Ch.5:
Daily Life | Deadly Life | Class Trial
Ch.6:
Deadly Life | Class Trial
FTEs:
Aoi | Byakuya | Celeste | Chihiro | Hifumi | Kiyotaka | Kyoko | Leon | Mondo | Mukuro "Junko" | Sakura | Sayaka | Toko/Genocide Jack | Yasuhiro
HET TWIN. I wanted to ask you a question that's a bit... unbearable to think about. Regarding Nagito's CD drama, do you think Hajime rejected him in any way? I was rewatching it and, well, I saw some people commenting on things like that, and I'd really like to know your point of view.
Well, for one I believe people are just making jokes in comment section. Or more like repeating the same joke.
But more so, with the context of the conversation:
1- Komaeda's part isn't a literal love confession. He is confessing his feelings, and there is romantic undertone however it's not a typical love confession scene where you'd expect other person to acknowledge the love and respond to that love by whether they feel similarly. In this conversation Hinata is trying to understand Komaeda and Komaeda is trying to make Hinata understand him.
2- What Komaeda is saying more like "I adore you. I will do anything to assist you. I have been alone all my life and you are the first person to truly attempt to understand me even after knowing what kind of person I am."
3- Hinata IS acknowledging that, the point of the conversation isn't about Komaeda's love (whether it's platonic or romantic), it's about trying to understand Komaeda's character. And Hinata is replying accordingly to it. He's saying that his attempts to understand him isn't motivated by simple reasons like love or hate (unlike him, perhaps), but there's a logic behind it. Which he feels like Komaeda should be given the chance to at least have someone try to understand him, instead of leaving him as he is. Because leaving him alone and not acknowledging him is bound to result in something bad.
In conclusion, this part of the Drama CD as well as FTEs more about Komaeda's character than his love so of course the conversation is focused on that. More so Hinata does acknowledge Komaeda's feelings but the conversation isn't about romance so he neither accepts or rejects him.
Bonus: I knew it before but while I writing this I noticed it better that Hinata is really emotionally mature for his age. He puts his feelings aside (although they blend in whenever he interacts with Komaeda because of course he can't go with this matter with 100 percent logic) to understand him. Because anything Komaeda does isn't just "Komaeda being Komaeda" but actually have some more complex reasons. He knows that if you left him alone without acknowledging the big issue he's bound to make more choices that can lead disaster. For him, for others. Isn't it crazy not even Komaeda's teacher was able to see it? Yet alone any other classmates of his! I will definitely talk about this in a further analysis BECAUSE he does that in UTDP and in game too (aside from the FTEs)
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