A note on White allies, Mutual Aid + Reparations
so I’m sitting here on light bed rest bc this weekend was so stressful I ended up with a neck spasm (which is p much my body’s first ‘turn back now’ red flag) and I really want to recover soon since next month is a) one week away and b) going to be very very busy.
As you may know I had to put out a call for mutual aid this weekend that was more urgent than my general posts because of some work-related unfair random b.s. that happened that is affecting a lot of online SWs right now.
I want to take the time to talk about something I noticed, something I’ve been noticing, and something Black+Indigenous friends of mine have also been noticing irt receiving support from allies.
First off, when you are helping Black+Indigenous people, whether we explicitly state that or not, that is reparations.
Reparations are not ‘help’.
Reparations are not charity.
We do not owe you anything in return for reparations though it is generally impossible to receive financial aid from white allies unless we give you something in return.
Reparations are you paying us back from what your ancestors stole, from what the system you benefit from deprives us of. That is actually the end, not the beginning of the transaction, in essence.
I’m having to say this bc we’ve been noticing that a lot of white allies end up slipping into a ‘charity’ behavior set, wherein whether they intend to or not, they begin to act as if they are ‘helping us out’, offering unsolicited advice, being intrusive or expecting emotional labor or access to us in exchange for their donations.
Let me reiterate– you are paying us back for something you and your ancestors already owed. We are not in your debt.
This is very h ard to talk about bc due to white fragility any holding of boundaries or pointing out this behavior can easily be labeled as being ungrateful and the support we receive- that we unfortunately have to work very hard to get even though we already inherently deserve it- can be withdrawn.
Earlier this year two of my white patrons withdrew their patronage from my Patreon because I upheld a boundary and they were getting very close to stalking me. Holding my ground, demanding respect and reminding an ‘ally’ that they were not entitled to get anything more from me just because they offered support cost me $215 a month.
This is especially dicey because white people often have more money and are in the primary position to enact mutual aid/reparations– but proximity to white people can be triggering to say the least.
Some things to keep in mind to be a good ally & race traitor:
1. You are not ‘helping us out’. We are not poor unfortunate people down on our luck we are the victims of a system honed to exploit and drain us in order to benefit you. When you pay us you are correcting that balance, not being charitable. In a sense, a portion of your wealth is not yours, it has been taken from us. You are giving it back.
2. Just because we need money does not mean we need advice. Remember, we are disadvantaged because of centuries within a system that is made to benefit you. Not because we don’t know how to survive, work or save money. I’d bet most of u s are far more resilient and adaptable than many of you have ever had to even dream of being. Donate to our fundraisers, support us, but save the coddling attitudes. It’s entirely misplaced.
3. You should not expect anything at all in return. Not content, not emotional labor, not brownie points, not friendship, not anything. Nine times out of ten you *are* getting something out of it regardless because we still have to work to stimulate your desires to help– I’m not going to speak much on that but I am naming it. Point being though you are not entitled to anything. Again, you are paying us back.
I’m pretty tired but not angry, I just really need this clarified. This doesn’t apply to all of you, but it does apply to some of you, and to y’all I say: take a step back and respect us. We are long suffering and so, so patient with y’all. We do not like having to repeatedly remind you to respect us and remember why it is there’s a sharp difference in the advantages and disadvantages experienced between white people and those they oppress.
White ppl can reblog but do not comment. Don’t. Your voice is not needed over mine.
>>Pay a Black+Indigenous Femme
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