o shit

em / 22 / she/her / biromantic gray-ace / see my about page for more info please!

[ace-shitcourse]

my notifications are whack

that one post of mine on this blog has over 121,000 notes now

wikihow how to deal with fame

[ace-shitcourse]

although I’m a cishet aro/ace exclusionist, i rly like ur blog bcs (1) you seem to be rly calm/understanding when talking w ppl who disagree w u (and I’m sorry for how ppl reply poorly like that’s just ... wrong lmao) and (2) it helps me filter and critically engage w the exclus content i consume e.g: how some exclus deny aphobia can be the reason for rape, how some exclus make fun of aro and ace ppl for literally no reason other than their identity etc. so thank you!!

ahh thank you! that actually means a lot to me haha, i alway try to be as calm and open minded as i can be on this blog (when i use it that is haha) and im glad that comes thru. discussion and getting multiple viewpoints is always important imo! 

[socialjusticeace]

I know we ain’t rubbin shoulders with a mf ace/aro exclusionist now

I don’t care how special you think you are for not being ✨mean✨ you see the amount of vile shit exclusionists put us through and still decide to identify w/ them so that makes you a shitstain as well

and I know we all get a little desperate for validation out here ace-shitcourse but accepting complements from fuckers who wouldn’t spit on u if you if you were on fire ain’t it. Don’t think for a second that a nigga who “accepts” “lgbt aces&aros” gives a fuck about asexuality and aromanticism itself and doesn’t actively ignore the shit aces & aros specifically go through. I get that u choose to be polite and level headed in ur education/activism but that not the same as engaging with exclusionists like they have a valid opinion rather than an actively harmful identity

You Both dropped this

[ace-shitcourse]

hi

I’m not “identifying” with exclusionists, necessarily. the large majority of them are nasty, mean, and toxic. I’m not going to disagree with that. And if they’re nasty first, I wouldn’t necessarily hesitate to be nasty back. but like.... how do i say this. 

Conversation is important, and in my opinion, staying civil (as long as the other person does the same) is the right way to go about having that conversation, if that makes sense? 

Some exclusionists aren’t willing to listen. The person who sent me that ask, assuming it wasn’t a troll, DOES seem willing to listen, to some degree. You (the general you, not you specifically), aren’t going to get anywhere if you immediately shut down and shit on everybody, even if they seem open to conversation, if that makes sense? If the goal is to get exclusionists to listen to us, and to change their mind, being nasty and mean right back at them 100% of the time won’t get us anywhere, in my opinion. 

[ace-shitcourse]

although I’m a cishet aro/ace exclusionist, i rly like ur blog bcs (1) you seem to be rly calm/understanding when talking w ppl who disagree w u (and I’m sorry for how ppl reply poorly like that’s just ... wrong lmao) and (2) it helps me filter and critically engage w the exclus content i consume e.g: how some exclus deny aphobia can be the reason for rape, how some exclus make fun of aro and ace ppl for literally no reason other than their identity etc. so thank you!!

ahh thank you! that actually means a lot to me haha, i alway try to be as calm and open minded as i can be on this blog (when i use it that is haha) and im glad that comes thru. discussion and getting multiple viewpoints is always important imo! 

[ace-shitcourse]

this might be a dumb question but, does it make you asexual if you don’t want to be in a sexual relationship with someone but still have sexual attraction to people? sorry.. i’m very uneducated on the types of sexualities and lgbtq+ people :/

(tw for a tiny bit of nsfw talk)

honestly anon, i feel you a lot. Like I’m 100% asexual, in the sense that I have zero interest in actually being in a sexual relationship with someone. I can’t imagine myself ever actually doing that. But also I’ll sometimes see people and.... kinda feel sexually attracted to them? Or at least physically attracted to them... its hard to explain honestly. A few years back on tumblr I saw a term that, i forget what the term was, but the definition was something along the lines of “when you identify as asexual, but still get sexually attracted to people/sexually aroused, but you have no desire to act on it”. something like that. The way I describe it to my friends is “vaguely horny” lol

I cannot define your sexuality for you, at the end of the day it is ultimately up to you to make the call, but yeah I’d say you can still identify as ace! Asexuality is a spectrum after all! My personal definition of asexuality for myself is “disinterest in engaging in sexual acts with another person, regardless of gender”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find someone else physically attractive, or even get “vaguely horny” and, occasionally masturbate. Its the fact that I have zero desire/intent or need to ever have sex with another person that kind of, solidifies my asexuality for me.

So i hate to give a vague answer, but it really depends on what you feel is right. Again, I’d still consider you ace, but I ultimately can’t make the final call. Just know that there are lots of ways to be asexual!

[ace-shitcourse]

hey, i don't know if it's okay sending you this, i just feel the need to talk about it with someone and i don't think anyone in my environment would understand. but i feel like i am somewhere in the ace spectrum ?? i don't think i'm fully asexual, i do feel sexual attraction (especially to women, i'm bi and i barely feel sexual attraction to men) but it's just a little bit and i'm not really interested about sex? i'm 20 and i'm a virgin and people say that once i try i will like it etc, but (1)

(2) i don't know. shit's confussing, tbh. sometimes i think i'm a lesbian because i barely feel sexual attraction to men but like ??? i do feel other kinds of attraction ??? and i don't know, i'm just confused as hell and i don't know much about asexuality or demisexuality, and i don't know if i might fall somewhere in the spectrum. it honestly scares me because it seems like nowadays it's impossible to have a romantic relationship without being sexually involved. i'm sorry i just needed to vent

hey. you’re 100% not alone. i get confused myself sometimes too! and i honestly kinda relate, im asexual and biromantic, but sometimes i do find myself feeling sexual attraction but only towards women. romantically i prefer men (i.e i get crushes on guys more often). its confusing a lot of the times. just keep in mind that labels aren’t always everything, and its ok that you feel confused and unsure of what to label yourself at the moment! like you said, asexuality is a spectrum, and there are so many variations of it that people can fall under. 

i dont want to just say “theres someone out there for you!” bc it sounds silly, but i do also legit believe there is. I completely understand ur frustrations about feeling like its impossible to have a romantic relationship without sex. there are times when ive met people ive been kinda interested in, but find out later that nothing could ever happen bc they would be unwilling to compromise. its tough and it sucks and it can get annoying. but dont make yourself do anything you dont 100% want to do, and there WILL be someone you find that will be an amazing match. im 22 and ive never had a romantic partner, and while relationships aren’t my highest priority i sometimes get a lil down about it. it happens. just remember that its ok to be confused, its ok to not know exactly what label you best fit under, and its ok for your interests to change! 

i hope this helped somewhat? i know i dont  use this blog much anymore as far as posting but i do still get and read messages, so always feel free to vent! (this goes for anyone else as well)

[verarubin]

arohet man: hey girl lets do everything a relationship entails except I don’t love you lol

[mukhannath]

do you know what aro means

[ace-shitcourse]

p sure op is a terf, just scroll through their blog

not worth arguing imo

[ace-shitcourse]

Hi all sorry I haven't been on here in 700 years, Ive been really busy lately and a lot has been going on (I'm ok it's just tough stuff also I have a 9-5 job every day bc it's summer now so yeah ) but I know I have a few messages and I'll get to them in the next few days, srry for being so absent lol I might be more active on here soon I hope u all are doing good!

[ace-shitcourse]

I STOLE THE AES-DISCOURCE URL I JUST WANTED U TO KNOW BC I KNOW THEY'VE BEEN PULLING STRAW MAN ARGUMENTS U*

NICE CONGRATS MY FRIEND

[ace-shitcourse]

hello friends how have yall been, what have i missed lately in the spicy discourse. feel free to fill me in

(also update: srry i havent been on here lately i just had A Lot go on in my personal life, basically my now exroommate started hanging out with/cheating on her boyfriend with some dude that soon started making threats against my life for literally no reason and she agreed with him and shit he said (ex. he said he was gonna murder me and bury me in the woods and then have sex w my roommate over my grave as a victory move) and i had to like, move out and report it and that took a few weeks to deal with, not to mention the emotional trauma of being kind of verbally abused for months by said roommate lmao anyway im safe and all that so dont worry bout that, im just. coping. its a longer story but im not about to write an essay)

[junkrat-hates-cgl-blog]

And while I’m at it can ace people stop using “aspec” that’s a term for autistic people that was taken

[ace-shitcourse]

Hi, autistic ace here, and I’m pretty positive aspec isn’t a term used by the autistic community, and I’ve never heard or seen it used in reference to the autistic community. U might be thinking of “on the spectrum”, which is commonly used, but aspec really isn’t stolen from anybody.

[junkrat-hates-cgl-blog]

hi autistic ‘dirty allo’ here, leave me alone lol

[ace-shitcourse]

I… wasn’t aware I was bothering you? I just wanted to let you know that it’s kind of a misconception that aspec is taken from the autistic community by the ace community. No need to be rude-ish?

[junkrat-hates-cgl-blog]

you reblog from homophobes uncritically no niceness for u smelly

[ace-shitcourse]

I’m really late with this, don’t check the notifs for this blog often, but if you don’t mind me asking, who are these homophobes I’m reblogging from, and where are they being homophobic? I’d like to know their urls so I can unfollow and/or block them, as I’m not really aware of who you’re talking about here…..

[junkrat-hates-cgl-blog]

And while I’m at it can ace people stop using “aspec” that’s a term for autistic people that was taken

[ace-shitcourse]

Hi, autistic ace here, and I’m pretty positive aspec isn’t a term used by the autistic community, and I’ve never heard or seen it used in reference to the autistic community. U might be thinking of “on the spectrum”, which is commonly used, but aspec really isn’t stolen from anybody.

[junkrat-hates-cgl-blog]

hi autistic ‘dirty allo’ here, leave me alone lol

[ace-shitcourse]

I... wasn't aware I was bothering you? I just wanted to let you know that it's kind of a misconception that aspec is taken from the autistic community by the ace community. No need to be rude-ish?

[mukhannath]

idk it really annoys me when aphobes say “stop HC’ing characters of [certain demographic] as ace or aro!!” well here’s the thing unlike you i dont see being ace/aro as a bad thing 

[junkrat-hates-cgl-blog]

And while I’m at it can ace people stop using “aspec” that’s a term for autistic people that was taken

[ace-shitcourse]

Hi, autistic ace here, and I'm pretty positive aspec isn't a term used by the autistic community, and I've never heard or seen it used in reference to the autistic community. U might be thinking of "on the spectrum", which is commonly used, but aspec really isn't stolen from anybody.

[dancingdiscourse-blog]

*character in a film/series doesn’t have a love story* The Aces™ come out from the shadows “they’re ace”

[ace-shitcourse]

Gosh forbid ace people have characters they can relate to

[ace-shitcourse]

Tw rape/abuse ment Wtf. They're literally mocking abuse and rape survivors. Regardless of what they've been through saying "lol you're saying you're been sexually assaulted/abused for ur sexual orientation? Haha" is very unacceptable.

It really is. You can be a victim and speak over other victims. Your abuse/experiences are not universal, and it’s not right for you to discredit others experiences. If a victim says “this is the reason i was hurt”, you should believe them, no matter how ‘silly’ or ‘wrong’ you think the reason is. The victim knows their experience best, and you have no right to tell them they’re wrong. 

[ace-shitcourse]

thank u for existing. this blog is awesome

omg thank u!!! <3

[aes-discourse]

here u go @ace-shitcourse, im not making up shit. 

receipts r from @figuregayting lmk if u dont want me to hav these and ill delete the post

[ace-shitcourse]

This…. literally isn’t  “I was raped so I belong in the lgbt+ community”, which is what you said people were saying. 

These are anon messages (so they’re questionable, and could be false, but let’s assume they’re real) from people who are recounting their abuse experience, and the person responding to the anon messages is telling these victims that they don’t know their own abuse and their own experiences. Which is, you guessed it, speaking over victims, therefore disgusting. 

[figuregayting]

Hey guess what I was a victim of a sexual abuse and I have brown hair but I was sexually abused because my abuser wanted me to be available to them, not because they had a thing for brown hair. Correlation is not causation but nice try accusing an abused person of talking over abuse survivors

[ace-shitcourse]

I didn’t know you’re an abuse survivor, I apologize. 

However, if someone explicitly tells you “I was abused because *reason*” it is not your place to tell them they are wrong. Your abuse is not everyone else’s abuse, and victims can speak over other victims. I’m a victim of emotional abuse, but if I was to tell anyone else who spoke about their emotional abuse “that’s wrong, it was actually because of this”, I’m still speaking over them. 

[figuregayting]

I was stalked and followed home because my favorite color is green and if you deny that fact you’re an abuse apologist uwu

[ace-shitcourse]

Yikes don’t joke about that? Literally wtf lol. 

I know it’s a joke and all but honestly, if someone did say “i was stalked and followed home because my favorite color is green”, I’d fucking believe them because it could be true, and who am I to say it’s not if I wasn’t there! How can you think it’s ok to 1) tell someone they’re wrong about their abuse and 2) make a joke like this

gross

also nice job ignoring my response

[figuregayting]

I was literally followed home and stalked for around a month but go off I guess. I didn’t ignore your reply, my joke was my reply to what you had to say. A dumb comment gets a dumb answer. Go away perhaps?

[ace-shitcourse]

Please don’t call me dumb, thank you.

Also, a joke is a joke, I didn’t find it funny, I couldn’t have known you were actually stalked (and I am so sorry that happened to you) and you’re ignoring my point. 

Please, do tell me what is dumb about my comment? Why do you think it’s ok to speak over other victims experiences?