ace_support

y'all can submit asks and get help from the ace community. I myself am ace.

[ace-support]

If you're anywhere on the asexual spectrum you can submit questions/experiences/anything you'd like the community to know.

If you are questioning this is a safe space to ask questions to help figure everything out.

Anonymous asks are on.

If you are not on the asexual spectrum but are trying to educate yourself, you can ask questions here as long as they are not aphobic / offensive

[ace-support]

Is sexual attraction really looking at someone and wanting to have sex with them?

From what I've gathered, yes. It's a weird concept to me though so it might be more helpful to ask an allo person

[ace-support]

How do I know if I'm ace or just young and never been in a relationship? Im scared I'm confusing them.

I think the thing people always forget is that labels can change :) If you feel that ace is the right way to describe you right now then use that label. If things change in the future you can always change to a different label! The asexual spectrum is also very broad, so keep that in mind

[ace-support]

i have a friend who i've been close friends with since freshman year of high school (i think bout 6 to 7 years at this point) and there was a brief mention of a convo he had with our other friend in one of our discord calls. he and her apparently had this argument of whether ace should be a part of the lgbt+ (he's gay and she's straight) and he was basically saying they aren't because "they just don't wanna fuck" and it got very heated between the two of them.

i'm a questioning ace (i don't particularly feel any sexual/romantic attraction to irl people, but for years i've been alright with fictional characters), but hearing something like that from a close friend kinda hurt. i didn't want to speak up on it at the moment because it was fairly late at night and i didn't want to tire myself with arguing, so i just said "let's just agree to disagree," although i still want to properly talk/explain to him how being asexual or acespec is still being part of lgbt+ but i don't know how to word all of it properly. i was hoping that you'd might have some advice on this?

Generally speaking the lgbtqia+ community will always include people that lie outside the cishet norm. You can't claim that ace people are just "straight lite" because straight people still feel attraction to the opposite gender, whereas ace people do not (unless they are also hereoromantic, but that's romantic attraction not sexual). And on top of that some ace people are sex favorable, meaning they do like sex but they just aren't sexually attracted to any one person.

No idea if this was helpful at all, and sorry for the late response.

[ace-support]

Hello! Uhm...I think I might be kind of asexual?

This confusion stems from a conversation I had the other day with my friends. One of them was telling us that she has these fantasies of her and her crush, you know, doing stuff. And my other friends acted like that was totally normal. But I just stood there, feeling so confused.

Is that actually normal? Do people fantasize about themselves in sexual situations with their significant others? I must sound like such an idiot if it is normal but...wow.

I mean, I am not repulsed by sex when it involves other people. I'm just not interested in participating myself. Me, in any kind of sexual situation, is perhaps the most uncomfortable thought I could ever have. I don't know if that makes sense? It's like, I see a cake. A beautiful cake. And I go like "oh, that's an amazing cake!" but I would never eat it, because I don't like the taste of it.

Can someone relate or am I just really freaking weird?

You might want to check out the term aegosexual, you might find some like minded people.

[ace-support]

Well, I am aroace or at least I think I am because, I often think that boys (not the real life human ones they(in my age) are disgusting and dirty) are good looking, cute, hot. I am a girl so that would be straight thoughts, but I am also sex repulsed, seeing RL inappropriate things is making me feel disgusted and gross, but a poor drawing is ?ok? But nevermind, am I demi-romantic, or oriented ace? I have never really had crushes, sexual thoughts about someone INR, and when I hear my classmates talk about relationships or dirty actions I can't understand them and feel kinda disgusted why are they doing feeling like that at such a young age... What do you think? I am also new to this, first thought about being ace was in mid 2021 And aroace only lately(2022). Ach, sorry for writing so much, i got overboard.

#aroace

If I understand you correctly, you think fictional men are attractive but real men arent(?) If I am correct about that you might want to look into aegosexual (generally defined as being attracted to fictional characters but not real people). If I am completely wrong about thay maybe look into greyace(only feeling sexual attraction in specific situations/rarely)

[ace-support]

is it possible to not experience aesthetic attraction either? like i can say, yeah, they fit society's beauty standards, yeah, they don't look dirty or unhealthy or whatever, but other than that im pretty whatever.

I think it is possible not to experience aesthetic attraction just like it's possible not to experience romantic or sexual attraction. Also if I understand what you're saying correctly it sounds like you're apathetic to someones appearance (which I get) and o do believe that is entirely possible.

If anyone wants to add on to this in the comments feel free because I am in no way an expert on this.

[ace-support]

I'm sorry if this is a stupid question and if I'm bothering you, but is it normal to feel like you don't want to be in any kind of relationship, but still don't want to be completely alone? Maybe I'm confused because I'm not mature enough.

It's not a stupid question and you're definitely not bothering me. The feeling of not wanting to be alone but also not wanting a relationship is understandable (and actually quite relatable). I don't know what type of relationship you're referring to (platonic, romantic etc.) but I do know that for myself and a lot of ace people there's a fear of friends abandoning them when they find a romantic/sexual relationship and with that comes a fear of being alone.

[ace-support]

hi! so, I'm dating an asexual person, and I was just wondering if the preferences change for different ace people. like my ace person likes to hold hands and cuddle, but i'm a little unsure if they like to kiss and such, so I was just wanting to know if it changes per person? thank you so much <3<3

It definitely depends on the person. If you're not sure what they're comfortable with the best way to go about that is asking them in a respectful way. Don't assume based on what other people tell you because everyone is different.

[ace-support]

if I think ppl are hot and call them hot, does that mean im not asexual?

It depends on if you want to act on those feelings or not. What you're describing could be aesthetic attraction. If you do want to act on it but that only happens rarely you could be gray-asexual. Remeber that the basic definition of asexual is experiencing little to no sexual attraction. If you want any clarification for any of this I'm happy to provide that.

[ace-support]

Do you ever feel like you’re not accepted anywhere?

I’m asexual heteromantic, so sometimes I feel like I’m too straight to be considered a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but I’m obviously not straight (especially if we’re classifying straight at heterosexual heteromantic, which I’m definitely not.)

I just wanted to know if others felt the same way lol.

I've definitely that way anon. You're not alone. I've come across way too many people on the internet that think ace people (especially heteroromantic) don't belong on the LGBTQIA+ community.

[allblackobsessed-deactivated201]

You will never ever annoy me if you

Send me random anons

reply to my posts

send me an ask

reblog me

talk to me

say hello

give me random love

“bother” me

So please stop thinking otherwise.

[iliumheightnights]

I am so attention craved I Swear to you you can just say “hi” and I’ll be like “hey bestie!”