oh, lighten up.

the third eldest daughter of triton, and by far the snarkiest, andrina is a girl who loves nothing more than some dry wit and a bit of pranking. she's fond of sports and athleticism, but absolutely nothing beats winding up her sisters and having a bit of a mess-around. that said, if needs be, she can put on her big sister hat and either tell off her sisters or help them out with whatever they need. they might have to put up with the odd acerbic barb, but for all her teasing, andrina loves her family with all her heart, and would do anything for them, no matter what.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

So I guess I kind of ship you with this "Bird" person? I know it's like, complicated or whatever, but all the great romances are. See, at least I was nice and didn't say, like, Ursula or something!

Oh... wow. I was genuinely expecting Ursula here, I won’t lie. Um. Thanks, sis. I really appreciate it.

Love you, y’know. Oh, and I don’t - I don’t really ship you with Scuttle, thats. That’s way gross. I’m not sure what the situation is with you and the lifeguard guy is anymore, but I guess I ship you guys. Or whoever makes you happy. Whatever.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

I ship you wiith... umm, Sebastian! This is hard, I don't know.

This is hard? Really? 

You’re not even trying Ari, come on. You’re my little sis, I know you can do better than that. That’s not even aggravating, Sebastian would be lucky to have me. Take two, come on, do better.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

the tritons probs don’t get the traditional pimped out princess dress but i bet they have some pretty sweet seashell bra jewellery

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Waaaait, wait, wait, wait, HOLD UP! Stay right there! Did you just say you need crush advice? Did that, like, legit come from your mouth…?

OH MY GOOOD! Andrina! This is sooo exciting, I can’t believe this! You have a crush, and you’re coming to me for advice! I have never felt closer to you. Of course I have a minute, we have as long as you want! So like, come on, spill! Who is it? Give me some details here, sis! Can’t give you any advice if I don’t know anything about the sitch!

Shhhhh! Adella! I don’t want to whole house to know, shhhh shh shhhhh! 

Ugh, okay, like – no naming names, but… it’s not even about them! Not really, it’s – you’ve liked guys that have had girlfriends before, right? Or have been kind of involved with someone, right? Say my friend is called… Bird. And I like Bird. But Bird is kind of involved with someone right now. How do you – y’know, get over that?  

[adellatriton]

Soooo, there’s this reeeally hot, like mega-hot lifeguard working at the beach this summer. …It’s probably not a good idea to fake as though I’m drowning to get his attention, is it? 

…No one’s answering? Guess it’s okay! Alright, see you lateeeer!

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Woah, hold on! 

You’re going to the beach without me? Rude. Don’t tell me it’s that – what’s his name, David guy or something? Come on, Adella, I can point out at least four of them who are better looking than he is. And, I’m pretty sure pretending to drown is like, illegal or something. You’ve been swimming since before you could walk! It’s a pretty weak excuse. Why don’t you talk to him or somethin’? You’re a princess. It’s not like he can ignore you.    

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Princess Jasmine, Princess Aurora, and myself. Don't worry, I won't be (terribly) offended if you decide you'd rather chop my head off!

Oh, damn, you had be pegged before the game even started! Guess I better change my answers, make it unpredictable.

Alright, I’m gonna go wiiiiith, wed Aurora, just because it’d really tick Ariel off if she was her sister-in-law, bed you, because… well you’re super pretty and other stuff anyway, and behead Jasmine, because someone always has to get the short end of the stick. I’ll send her like, I dunno, I’ll send her something to make up for it.

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

U-u-um, wait… y-you’re NOT joking?! W-why-why isn’t anyone talking about this?! You’d think if there was a REAL-LIFE ZOMBIE DISEASE breaking out somewhere they’d put it on the news or something! All they talked about this morning was that Powerline guy doing another concert tour! W-we’re all gonna get eaten, oh my god, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. Andrina, what do we do?! What do you mean, there’s nothing to worry about?! Did you see how fast the zombie diseases spread in zombie flicks? Even if it’s in China, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE ANDRINA, GOSH! WHO CARES ABOUT SARCASM AND GETTING CANCER IF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IS HAPPENING! HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?! …O-oh, well, yeah, Ariel’s my best friend for sure, but who says I can’t be friends with more than one of you? That’s a really dumb rule. A-arista’s been my friend for a long time now, you didn’t notice? I guess it’s probably ‘cause Ariel’s usually the one dragging me around, but yeah.

…Are you being sarcastic again? Hey, what does that mean, I am a man! I’m eighteen now, okay? I can get into bars and everything. I even went to one with Ariel the other week, in the Out- uh, i-in the outskirts of the city. Oh, okay, I could help with carrying the eggs out I guess… I still don’t really get the whole fascination with blowin’ stuff up though. O-oh, no reason. I still don’t know if I’ll come though, I don’t know, there’s like an itch in my throat, I might be coming down with something, yeah.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Well, duh, no-one’s freaking out because Max Brooks has got it covered! He actually wrote a zombie survival guide, I think I’ve got it in my room… somewhere. Maybe. I’ll look for it, it’s got really good information on how to stockpile food and make weapons that’ll pierce the skull, it’s totally helpful. But yeah, no-one’s freaking out because they’ve got it all contained, for now. No-one knows if it’ll spread further or not, or how long it’ll take, but it’s a good philosophy for just biting the bullet and doing whatever you wanna do like, right now, because for all we know, in two weeks we could be dead and biting real bullets. Speaking of, I should probably get tickets to Powerline… did they say they were sold out, or are there still some left?

WE’RE NOT GONNA DIE JUST YET, YA BIG GUPPY, I swear, Flounder… you’re really friends with Arista? Wow. She’s never mentioned it. But to be fair, she’s spent the last three weeks talking about some guy who fell out of the sky with bread or something, I dunno, the usual Arista crap. Hey, if you’re friends with her, do you know what that’s about? Like, was she drunk or did she just hit her head really hard? I know it wasn’t me convincing her one of her dreams was real this time, so… any ideas?

I’m not being sarcastic, I’m genuinely proud of you! Can’t you tell the difference? Oooh, look at you getting into bars, how … wait a minute.

No, no, you set yourself up for the egg thing, you’re gonna be there. And blowing up stuff is fun, and you’d see that if you didn’t run away every time you saw your own shadow, but – you’re distracting me! Stop it, okay, what did you call the bar you were at again?

An itch in your throat, really? Wow … you better keep an eye on that. We wouldn’t want you to be getting an infection now, would we?

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

W-w-wait, what? Heh, you’re just tryin’ to pull one over me, Andrina, I know zombies aren’t real! …No, I’ve never heard of the Solanum virus. A-are you saying that’s a virus that makes people turn into z-zombies?

It sure doesn’t seem like there’s much of a difference there to me. Huh, what do you mean snarfblatt isn’t a word? I swear that’s what Scuttle said it was, I was still listening at that part! And he told us people use it to make music… a-although now that I think about it I’ve never really seen someone play it… Well, I really only listen to him because of Ariel, so you should- yeah, that’s her! And I swear I have more non-weird friends! I, uh, just can’t really think of any right now, yeah! Um… does Arista count?

Oh, only a finger, I guess I do have nine other ones so gee, I was worried about nothing then. Seeee, I can be sarcastic without being mean! U-um… maybe, if I don’t have to go near any fire or explosives myself. Will, uh, will any of your other sisters be there?

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

That’s exactly what I’m saying. This guy, Max Brooks, he did a load of research on it, and like, it starts with the cells in your brain, like, the frontal lobe, it completely destroys them first, and then once all the brain function goes, bam. Zombie. But it depends from person to person how long it takes for them to turn – some people take hours, some people take minutes. It comes from the Yang-tze River, in China, according to this Brooks guy, but animals can detect it. So, if you see anyone and they’re being avoided by like, dogs, and cats, and birds… I’m not saying they’re a zombie, but there’s a long incubation period of the virus. And people can donate organs before it’s diagnosed. There’s no cure yet, either. Just people walking around with this virus eating their brain and their flesh going necrotic, and it can be spread by anything. You got a papercut on your finger? If they touch it, you’re as good as dead. Like I said though, it’s all around that river in China right now. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, right?

There’s a huge difference. Liiiike, like, like… oh, like Merida! Merida’s mean. I’m sarcastic. Big difference between us. And yeah, you haven’t seen people play music with it, because it is a pipe! A tobacco pipe! For smoking and getting cancer and stuff! Leave the pipes alone! And – Arista? Are you kidding me? Arista’s one of the weirdest people I know, she definitely doesn’t count. Since when were you two friends? I thought Ariel was your inseparable soulmate, and you know, you can only befriend one of us at a time. Supply and demand problems, nothing we can do about it.

You know what? I’m actually kind of proud of you for that. Let me just slow clap it out. That was good. You’re almost a man now, Flounder. Everyone’s going to be so proud. Not if you don’t want to, I can handle all that stuff, but you’re probably gonna have to help me carry the eggs and stuff out. Um, Ariel, probs, Attina will probably show up to yell at us, but she won’t stop it. Adella might get pissed we’re ruining the way her eyelashes curl, I dunno, it depends on who’s home at the time. Why do you wanna know?

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

Well that doesn’t make any sense! The zombies in Dawn of the Dead aren’t real and neither is the monster in Babadook. You know what is real? Sharks! Sharks are real and they do eat people! Who’s irrational now, Andrina, who’s irrational now? And I’m not a guppy.

Gosh, Andrina, you don’t have to get all mean about it. I mean, sure, sometimes I think he’s just making up half the stuff he says, but it’s still really nice that he takes the time to explain stuff to Ariel and me! I never would have known I’ve been calling snarfblatts the wrong thing all this time, nobody ever said a thing. But, I gotta admit he sure can go on for ages, always this is this, and that is that... We’ve got plenty of non-weird friends! There’s- there’s um, uh… Lilo! You know Lilo too, don’tcha?

No, I wasn’t, but I did hear about it! Soon as Ariel told me I kinda high-tailed it outta there. She couldn’t stop me that time, I-I’m uh, not exactly super keen on losing a fin to an badly aimed firework, you know?

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

... did you - did you not know? I mean, yeah, the Babadook is made up but like... zombies are real, Flounder. Zombies are so real. Have you never heard of the Solanum virus?

It’s not being mean, it’s being sarcastic. There’s a very big difference. And uh, I hate to break it to you, but... actually, no, no I’m not. Snarfblatt isn’t a word, Flounder. It’s a noise someone makes when they have a seizure. You really, really need to stop listening to that guy, he’s... Lilo? Yeah, I know Lilo! The cute little surfer girl, right? Gives sandwiches to the fish? She’s pretty cool, yeah. Okay, so you’ve got one non-weird friend. The challenge is to get two.

You mean you didn’t trust any of us to not bring any personal harm to you among all that exploding chocolate? I’m offended, Flounder. Shocked, upset and offended. They weren’t even heavy duty fireworks, the worst that could’ve happened is you’d’ve lost like, a finger, and only if it was glued to your hand at the time. We could do the same this year, if you feel brave enough to see it in action?

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

Well, no, but there was this really scary movie about a tornado that took all these sharks out of the ocean and- and they were chasing all the people, all- grrrrrr- and people were all AHHHHH and they were getting eaten and- and who shows a movie like that at midday?!

H-hey! I don’t have problems! Aw, I just missed him then. Not all of our friends are weird - Scuttle’s just, um, a special case. He finds some real cool stuff sometimes, though!

Really? I-it’s nice of you to offer, Andrina, thanks! 

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Flounder, it’s a movie, not a documentary. And it’s a really stupidly trashy one too. If you’re gonna get scared of something, get scared of like, I dunno, the Babadook, or Dawn of the Dead, or the Halloween movies, even! Ariel and Rissie are right, you’re such a guppy.

Mmhmm, right, and I’m a professional ballerina! Special case, you can say that again. Flounder, he stinks of hummus and he talks to himself. He tried to give Ariel a prosthetic limb! More than once! And he has a weird thing for pipes. He might be doing meth. I’m like, eighty percent sure he’s doing meth. That’s not cool, it’s tooth rotting and gross and Jesse Pinkman he is not. Can you name one non-weird friend you’ve got?

And hey, no problem, either you help us eat it or Ariel’s friends come over and start blowing them up in the back yard again. Daddy got sooooo mad at that, wow... kinda fun, though. Were you here for that?

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

Hope everyone had a nice Easter! And found all your chocolate eggs, b-because that’s the last thing you’d want, you know, chocolate going off somewhere you can’t find it.

Has anyone seen Scuttle, though? Because I was gonna give him some choc- aHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

…Oh, haha, you know, I thought I just saw a shark in the window, but there wasn’t a shark. All good.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

A shark, seriously? Did you move your house under the sea? I swear, Flounder, you’ve got problems. Oh, and Scuttle was here earlier to give Ariel a present, but I don’t know where he went after that... maybe to get drunk? He always seems drunk. Why do you and Ariel have such weird friends?

And speaking of chocolate, we have like, a metric crapton, so you’re welcome to that if Aquata doesn’t get to it all first. I’ve never seen so many beheaded bunnies in my life.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

thelittle-ariel replied to your post: Grey?

Okayokay, green too. Gosh, Adella was already on my tail about it, I just didn’t find them very ummm… Suitable?

Well, she was right to be, ‘cause clearly our baby sister doesn’t love us an‘ we’re all gonna die from your emotional neglect. Nice going, Ariel!

Also, it’s called improvising. Duh.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Purple, fuchsia and green!

Princess Anna? Um, hey! Wow, thanks... same to you!

We could maybe hang out if you want? But there is like, seven of us, and we tend to come as a package, soooo... do you like surfing?

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Grey?

Mixed words? Really? Ariel, it’s like you’re not even trying.

[adellatriton]

Romeo + Juliet was on TV last night. Oh, it’s so romantic! 

Although the real tragedy in that movie is that Leo DiCaprio didn’t stay looking like that forever. He was sooooo cute! Wherefore art my own Romeo? Maybe I should try visiting the aquarium, that fish-tank scene is the MOST adorable!

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Oh yeah, sooooooo romantic. I totally wanna run away with a guy I've known for ten minutes and kill myself for him because our families are acting like huge babies. It's the dream, honestly. While you're at it, why not marry that Heathcliff guy? He has a totes romantic story.

Uh, Leo was alright, but Claire Danes was so much prettier than him in that movie. Like, the angel costume? She even looked good dead. ... okay, the fish tank scene was kinda cute. But if someone saw your face on the other side of a fish tank, they'd probably think you were a shark and run a mile. So maybe don't do that.

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

Uhhh, um, well, the thing is, I can’t really tell you about it, because, uh. She told me to promise her that I wouldn’t. Sorry! But she’ll be okay! She’s going to see someone who cares about her - at least, I think he does, even though he smells kinda funky and I’m still not 100% sure I trust him - and he probably knows all about how to be safe in the Outlands!

…Oh. No.

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

He...? She's going where? FLOUNDER!

How could you let her go off there? She's going to see an Outlander, today? Of all days? An' you just let her waltz off?

No, no, no no. She's gonna be in so much trouble, we're all gonna be in so much trouble... you gotta show me which way she went. In fact, you're gonna show me which way she went, before daddy finds out, an' he runs us through with his trident. Didn't you at least try an' stop her?

[imnotaguuppy-blog]

Ahem. Um, hi! Ariel just wanted me to say that, uh, she’s fine! She’s alright, and uh, she just needs some time alone, because, you know, what happened to Prince Simba and all, and- uh… she’s safe! She’s not going anywhere d-dangerous or anything, hehe. So, uh, that’s why you might not see her around. For a little while.

But she’ll be back soon! (I hope.)

[acerbic--andrina-blog]

Uh-huh. So, if she's not gone anywhere dangerous, then you can tell us where she is, right?