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[achillesandpatroclaus]

how about -

the 16th of june

i dont feel free

i feel caged in my own conscience

my own body is my capturer

my mind the jailer

the heart is at fault too

cause in this moment i hate it

i hate it more than i have hated it in a long while

the cage is falling in

the walls getting closer

the bars turning and twisting in my gut

a part protruding through my throat

this may be an exaggeration

but it 16th june and i dont feel free.

next time i write, this will be changed.

[achillesandpatroclaus]

of course, it took me time to understand.

I'm not someone who learns from texts.

I learn from lessons and experiences.

so I learned and I am now fine.

i am good.

i am alright

i would say I am happy but happy is a feeling just like anger or upset

the extremes go away but what's true remains.

so what remains is goodness with a tinge of bad

love with a tinge of hurt

I'm bold with a tint of uncertainty

I'm sure and I will glow

burning seems to be negative so I shan't use it here

but the way the moon illuminates the night

the same way i shall illuminate myself

I'm but human with a heart filled with emotions

so I shall be dark some days

some days I shall be partial

but most day I'm going to be bright

just like the moon in the sky.

[achillesandpatroclaus]

and though i feel good , i crave someone i dont know, and then i realise that somehow even craving is scary, but its just that sometimes i feel so lonely.

[achillesandpatroclaus]

i want to breathe, open my eyes , sit under the sky , atop the hill, and breathe , looking at everything .

[achillesandpatroclaus]

I want him to hurt me. I want him close enough that he could rip my heart out. I want him centimetres far that with one touch I bleed like a dying flower. I want him terribly near. I want his eyes to pierce my skin that with every look he leaves a fucking red mark. I want him in me that his warmth and mine become one together. That when he hurts me which he will, I can proudly say I wanted him and I wanted this.

[achillesandpatroclaus]

and one day i stumbled across you i picked on keys and tried some letters wrote a poem to feel better but the dear heart already knew there is pleasure like no other in knowing one self in deciphering ones own beat to feel it within so i wrote ,ofcourse i did but it was not to make me feel for i felt like no other for i felt maybe more than others for i felt nothing at all for i felt completely whole