Venom of The Red Lotus @acidbender - Tumblr Blog

lagoonas-deactivated20220915

when will tumblr give us color coded text i wanna talk shit in pink

mobile takes long enough to load I don’t want to wait till the next ice age because y'all are aesthetic shitposting in chartreuse comic sans

princeofmints

i’m pretty sure “cats and humans can never have a bond as strong as a dog and a human” is just code for “i’ve never even tried to treat a cat correctly in my life”

finehoney

im so ready to be in a relationship so whenever the universe is ready hmu with a keeper

finehoney

i posted this yesterday then today this cute boy held my hand and now he is sending me memes

librarydvd

Reblog for love

maobeedong

i reblogged this yesterday and my crush kissed me today

clevelandslair

I’ve been dating my boy for 2 years and today he sneezed directly on my face and got a booger on me :’) Love is just so beautiful

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ....acknowledged

the-morally-neutral-spiderman

My mom is a mermaid and my dad is a centaur

I guess I got the human halves of my parents.

My sister was not so lucky.

She has a really great personality.

sadwhore04

if a demon possessed me I’d just b like ok take it from here good luck man

guiiiermo

Names I hate because I never know how the specific person spells it:

Matthew or Mathew Sarah or Sara Ashley or Ashlee or Ashlie Johnathan or Johnathon

mickie310

Steven Stephen Hayley Haley Hailey Zac Zach Zack Garrett Garett Garret

guiiiermo

I can’t believe they are so many people who hate this too.

phillovesdogs-deactivated201812

you think thats bad

Here are 135 different ways to spell Katelyn

anightvaleintern-blog1

Um excuse you, 136.

kryptonians

That is literally child abuse

7mangoes

may your ass get fatter and your heart get wiser in 2017

chxnky-spice

May your wallet get thicker and soul become heavy in 2017

mmshawty

may your skin get clearer and your love reciprocated in 2017

hauntedconstellations

Reblog for this to come true

itsaubreylmfao

ledian

32 years to get a kiss on the lips… this nigga will be 99 and on his deathbed before he gets a kiss on the dick

best-of-memes

prettypassing

Eugene from buzzfeed rb if u agree

aninounettear-deactivated202402

and die

babblingbrookanimations

i wasnt ready for that

me and my sibling

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”