EVERYDAY STRUGGLE
I can’t breathe, my head is spinning I can’t form an actual thought oh my god, oh my god.
He’s getting closer he’s right behind me oh my god I can feel the heat from his body don’t look at him keep my head down breath calm yourself nothing going to happen he just walking but what if he not what if he tries to talk to me I can hear my heart and my chest is hot, hands are cold. just breath he’s not going to say anything my throat hurts I could turn down this ally but what if he follows me that’s probably waiting for so he can be sure we’re alone I’m dizzy everything I look at is blurry what if I pass out?? my legs are getting weak I have no energy. this is insane calm yourself no one is going to hurt you.. he’s still coming up behind me oh my god I’m going to throw up oh my god oh my god can he see me shaking is he waiting to find out if I’m weak I can’t defend myself against him he so much bigger than me… oh I have a knife in my purse get your knife but I’m going to have to slow down to find *I look around theres no one on this street there isn’t a light on at any of the houses* why did I go out at night what if he grabs me oh wait he’s passing me this is the perfect time to turn down the alley and run and GO run, run!! Ok he’s gone that wasn’t so bad I’m safe now. Oh god someone’s walking towards me oh my god!! It’s him why did he come down this street oh god he’s after me he’s going to attack me I can’t breathe just catch your breath it’ll be ok maybe he just lives this way how could he know I was going to come this way maybe he’s been following me and I just didn’t know maybe he already knows where I live pull out your phone make it look like you’re not scared he can probably smell it though call someone so if you get attacked they can call 911 but its late I don’t want to bother anyone oh god he’s getting closer is he watching ok im almost home just a little further oh ok he’s passing me don’t look scared oh god he just looked at me don’t smile don’t say anything act like he’s not there go through your phone but why I can see my apartment from here hes still on the same street don’t go in the front door walk right past your place and come from the back don’t let him see where you live he’s after you he’s watching you he’ll come back and rape you if he knows where you live just breath stay calm you can make it just a little longer unlock the back door oh my god get it together your shacking too much to unlock the door Bethany what the fuck are you scared for he didn’t even hardly pay attention to you get it the fuck together ok in the building run up the stairs just hope your across the hall neighbor is sleeping.. Oh god his light is on just go into the apartment unlock the door and for god fucking sake quit fucking shacking oh what if he’s watching me through the peep hole just get in the room doors unlocked quickly get it the room shut the door lock the door ok you can breathe again
**sits on bed** breathing heavily**
Ok I made it relax it wasn’t so bad I can do that again
