obvious child (2014) sentence starters
warning: contains NSFW content, suicide mention
“well, you’re dizzy because you played russian roulette with your vagina.”
“there is no woman who has ever ended her day with a clean pair of underpants that ever look like they’ve come from a store.”
“you guys are like, you’re a horrible woman-- but lemme tell you, i agree!”
“he’s a human male, i’ll put it that way.
“oh man! i think i just heard his heart stop beating.”
“anyone need a barf bag?”
“am i having a stroke or does this soap smell like popcorn?”
“i really wanna go and have like, one to one million more drinks.”
“things have been kinda fucked up between us lately.”
“you’re like a-- ‘we’? you guys are a ‘we’?”
“i’m at your house every other night.”
“stop looking at your phone while you’re dumping me!”
“have a great life! i’ll be here with my NORMAL hpv that ONE IN FOUR NICE WOMEN have!”
“that’s not what happened. what happened is he’s a piece of shit and she’s a little bitch.”
“you know i’d take a bullet for you, right? right into my hearts.”
“the landlord’s kicking us out.”
“that’s easy for you to say. you’re just gonna like, move to woodstock and like, buy a bunch of wiccan candles and just like, chill out all day.”
“oh man, that’s like the rudest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“i think i’ve cried on every train line.”
“how do you wanna approach your fears?”
“i don’t know if you’ve noticed but i’m in kind of an emotional crisis right now.”
“i know you’re going through some pain, but you’re always gonna be going through something.”
“definitely…. stop saying douche.”
“just out doing some light stalking!”
“don’t’ shit yourself, sir.”
“i was recently… dumped up with.”
“i feel like when someone does something bad, they should just die. but instead we die a slow death and watch their happiness bloom.”
“i would love to just murder-suicide them.”
“full blown affair. like, who is she, like, faye dunaway?”
“this kind of thing makes you think i’m pretty good at fucking, right?”
“if you’re about to defend her right now, i’m gonna turn into a pile of dust.”
“i have to go home and put on my sweatpants and try and hold my breath until i die.”
“woah, you’re really laserin’ into me with your pee-pee missiles.”
“for all purposes inside of your frat house where everyone’s goin’ ping pong and throwin’ quarters at each other’s butts.”
“that’s a lot of story.”
“i’ll try it. i’ll try drinking.”
“i’m not the angel on top, i’m the menorah on top of the tree that burns it down.”
“sit on him.”
“is that a lie? is that true?”
“it’s a truth.”
“you’ve never peed in public before?”
“did you just fucking fart in my face?”
“i can’t get your blouse off!”
