Second Best (Part 2)
Part 1
Summary: You and Azriel were friends, just friends. He was always interested in someone else and you somehow are always second best. Will Azriel be too swept up in his feelings for Elain to notice you right in front of him? No warnings!
You woke up alone in your bed, sunlight streaming in far too brightly for your massive hangover. You groaned, covering your face with your pillow and sighing loudly when you recalled how your evening ended.
As if you could forget. Azriel and Elain fawning over each other when Elain is unavailable. Not to mention Azriel's quick departure after your embarassing attempt to get him to stay with you instead of returning to the House of WInd alone.
Removing the pillow you glanced over at the clock on your nightstand. It was only half-past 7 but there was no way you would be able to fall back asleep. Sitting up in bed you swung your legs around and slipped your feet into your slippers and walked over to grab your fluffy robe hanging on your closet door. You swayed a bit on your feet, no longer drunk but certainly your equilibrium was out of whack. Wrapping yourself tightly in your robe you made your way to your quaint kitchen. Tea would help.
After filling the kettle with water and placing it on the stove you wandered over to the fireplace and began to add some firewood that you had brought in the other evening. The colder months were coming and even though Rhys offered to keep your cottage on the Sidra magically temperate, you enjoyed taking care of it yourself.
You lit a match and nodded to yourself once the fire began to burn at a reasonable height, shutting the gate to prevent embers from getting on your carpet.
A sudden knock on your door startled you and you furrowed your brows at the door. Who could that be? Certainly not Cassian as there was no training this morning. Mor loved to sleep in after a night at Rita's...and Gwyn most certainly was singing at this mornings service with the other priestesses.
As you stood there pondering who could be at your door another round of knocks came and a deep familiar voice rumbled from behind it.
"Come on Y/N let me in, it's freezing out here!" He begged.
You grinned, making your way to the door, unlocking the deadbolt and swinging it open. He stood leaning against the doorway, slightly hunched forward because of his height.
"Took you long enough." He teased with a smirk that would give any female goosebumps — maybe even males. His long arm reached down and ruffled your hair.
You scolded, smoothing your already slept on hair down before stepping aside. “Get in here Lucien before I shut this door on your handsome face.”
The red-haired fae chuckled and slipped inside, ducking his head a bit under the doorway.
“So you do think I’m handsome” he drawled as you closed the door behind him. You rolled your eyes and watched your friend stroll around your cottage, immediately he began pursuing the bookshelves that lined the entirety of your walls.
“Your house is 70% books!” He exclaimed, pulling a copy of Unusual Flowers of Prynthian from your shelf and flipping through the pages.
You strutted over to him, grabbing the book from his hands and carefully sliding it back into its place on the shelf. “Careful” you murmured, almost to yourself, “you’ll bend the pages.”
Lucien grinned at you again. “So tell me, Y/n, what have I missed since my last visit.”
His question dumbfounded you — it’s not like you could tell him just last night Azriel and Elian were flaunting around a bar together as if he didn’t exist.
You starred dumbly at him trying to think of anything to say when the kettle, forgotten on your stove, began to shriek. You jumped, a hand immediately flying to press against your chest, your heart racing.
You immediately moved toward the stove, clicking the burner off and moving the kettle to the side. “Tea?” You asked shaking, already grabbing two mugs from the cabinet above the stove.
“Sure” he answered, watching you closely. You tried to relax but you knew he could likely see your shaky hands as you poured the water. You were so focused on not burning yourself you didn’t even hear Lucien walk over until he was leaning right next to you against the counter.
“What has you so nervous, Y/n?” He asked quite softly, his brows furrowed in concern.
Of course Lucien would be concerned for you and not himself, the kindhearted male he was. Elain didn’t deserve him you bitterly thought. Why couldn’t the cauldron bless you with a mate like Lucien. Better than your crush on Azriel.
You slid the mug of tea toward Lucien.
“It was just a long night at Rita’s” you stated, nursing your own mug and leaning against the counter.
“Ah yes, the inner circles favorite bar — tell me did something happen with Azriel and you?” He responded, sipping from his mug, his eyebrow raised. You sighed in response, drinking more tea to fill time before responding.
You had confessed to Lucien about your feelings for Azriel during Solstice a few months ago. And even though you didn’t have a mating bond like Lucien did with Elain, he had embraced you in a big bear hug and promised to help you with anything you may need. He also confessed how difficult it was to ignore the shared glances between his mate and the shadowsinger, but was optimistic he had made progress with Elain that evening. Oh how poorly mistaken his optimism was.
“No nothing happened between us — but I need to tell you something” you hesitated, biting on your lower lip.
Lucien ran a hand through his long auburn hair and you let yourself get distracted for a second at how soft it looked.
“Elain and Azriel were a bit too close last night on the dance floor.” You stated, your voice dripping with a disgust and your nose wrinkling remembering how Azriel’s arms were wrapped around her body and her face tucked tightly into his neck.
Lucien’s jaw tightened and his knuckles turned white where they gripped the mug.
“How close” he snarled, the mating bond clearly agitated at this information.
You sighed, running a hand through your hair and walked over towards the fireplace on the other side of the room. Keeping a safe distance from the angered male felt wise even if you trusted Lucien with your life.
“They dance for a bit at the end of the night — you know Rhys told him to keep distance but there was drinking and—“ you were cut off by the sound of the mug in Lucien’s hand shattering all over your kitchen floor. You jumped, pressing your back against the wall, eyes wide. Lucien muttered an apology, bending over the pick up the pieces of the mug scattered on the ground.
You hurried over to him and noticed some blood dripping from his hand. Grabbing a clean towel you bent down, gently grabbing his hand and shushing him when he tried to protest.
“Fae healing or not you have to make sure there isn’t any pieces of glass in here.” You scolded, narrowing your eyes at the stubborn male.
Lucien nodded, his body radiated with anger but his eyes stared at you tenderly — clearly glad you had broken the news to him and he didn’t have to witness it himself. Once you finished wiping off the blood and confirmed the wound was clean it already began to heal when you picked up the last of the broken mug and threw them away.
You crossed your arms and stared at Lucien who had stood up and was staring out your small balcony, watching the gentle waves of the Sidra. You loved the water, it soothed you to sleep and you never did like staying in the house of wind so far from the city, even if it meant you would be closer to Azriel.
“Will she reject the bond?” Lucien murmured. You almost didn’t reply, unsure if he was talking to himself or to you.
You swallowed. “Lucien” you gently answered, slowly approaching the red-haired male as he blinked away unshed tears. “Any female in all of Prynthian would be lucky to have you as their mate. And while I certainly hold frustration towards her, even I must admit what happened with Elain in the cauldron was very difficult and maybe she just needs more time—“ even as I said the words they felt bitter in my mouth. Probably by own bias against her closeness with Azriel, that always felt secretive and different than your personal closeness with the spymaster.
Lucien scoffed and glanced down at you. “That isn’t what I asked y/n” he stated, looking suddenly exhausted. You grabbed onto one of his large hand in your smaller one.
“You must not give up. You deserve to be happy and if she is your mate you are destined to be together.” You told him confidently.
Lucien gave you a small sad small. He lifted your shared hands up toward his mouth and kissed the inside of your wrist gently, never breaking eye contact. “Not all mates end up together.” He said sadly.
Your breathing halted for a moment, your eyes transfixed on him as he lingered a bit before slowly releasing your hand completely.
“I don’t deserve you. And Azriel will never deserve you even when he gets his head out of his ass to see you are the best female for him.” He grinned, thy sly fox smile replacing the sad one. The mention of Azriel’s name brought you back into the present and your cheeks flushed a bit. But you weren’t certain if it was from the affection displayed by Lucien or the mention of Azriel.
You laughed nervously, taking a step away from Lucien and tucking your hair behind your pointed ears.
“Let me go change and we’ll go get some food” you told him, turning to head towards your room.
“We won’t have time — remember we are to be meeting everyone at the River House to debrief Beron’s communications and newest plans to overthrow the rest of the world” Lucien drawled, his tone when discussing Beron filled with digust.
You groaned while shutting your bedroom door. You had forgotten about that meeting. Why the gods did Rhys pick today after a night out.
You slid on one of your favorite dresses, a beautiful emerald green dress that complimented your skin and hair. Running a comb through your long waves you decided to keep it down and smudged some makeup on quickly.
Walking out of your room you quickly shut the fireplace door and gathered your notebook for the meeting as well a few important texts you wanted to give Rhys that could shed light on where Koshei disappeared to.
Lucien was patiently waiting by your door, watching you.
“Ready!” You stated, opening the door and stepping through, letting Lucien pass you before locking it.
The two of you made your way towards the River House chatting the entire way. Lucien was sharing the most wonderful stories about Eris and his childhood fear of ducks when you approached the house.
“I don’t understand” you giggled, unable to control your laughter as you walked up the steps to the front door, “how could Eris be scared of a cute animal that quacks!”
Lucien chuckled along with you, grinning down at you clearly enjoying making you laugh so much. “I always assumed it had to do with the beaks, perhaps he is beak-a-phobic” he snickered causing you to laugh even more at the ridiculousness of the phobia Lucien clearly made up — when the door swung up, causing your laughter to die down.
Hazel eyes burned down at you. Azriel’s jaw was clenched as his eyes flickered from you to Lucien and back to you.
Glancing over to Lucien you noticed that your friend was still as death and his hands were fists at his sides.
“Azriel” you cleared your throat. Lucien didn’t look away from Azriel and while Azriel’s attention on you, you knew the shadow singer was tracking Lucien’s gaze and possibly ever possible movement in case he pounced.
Without saying a word Azriel opened the door and stepped to the side, inviting you in.
You tucked your hair behind your ear, tugged on Lucien’s sleeve whose gaze never left Azriel. “Come on Luce, remember why you’re here.” You whispered.
Lucien glanced your way before giving you a curt nod and gesturing you to walk in first, always a gentlemen. You stepped inside the River House, choosing to stride past Azriel without looking over and made your way towards the living area where the meeting would be held. You smelled fresh pastry and heard a kettle shrieking in the kitchen.
Lucien followed close behind you, his labored breathing an indicator that the bond was trying to provoke him into a fight with Azriel. Feyre had strolled into the hall and beamed at you. You raised your brows and tilted your head toward Lucien and where Azriel followed behind him. You suddenly felt the gentle taps on your mental shields and allowed them to drop.
Why does Lucien look like he’s going to rip someone’s head off? You heard Feyre’s concerned voice in your mind.
Let’s just say Azriel and Elain got a little too close last night at Rita’s. You replied quite bitterly. Feyre simply raised her brows in response before embracing Lucien in a tight hug and guiding him into the living room and offering him a drink. You began to follow but a large glove covered hand grabbed your wrist, firmly but not in a way that would hurt you. You turned and face Azriel.
“Look y/n, about last night—“ he began to say but you cut him off. “Don’t worry about it Az, I know you weren’t in the right state of mind and honestly it’s not my business. Let’s just forget it.” You forced a big smile that you hoped looked genuine before you gently tugged your hand away from him.
“No y/n I need to get this off my chest.” He all but begged. His eyes were wide and his shadows flickered restlessly from behind his shoulders.
He lowered his voice so no one could hear and stepped closer to you. “I wanted to tell you about why I drank so much, why I got so out of control. You see I was trying to suppress my feelings, strong feelings that I’ve had for a while and I think I need to tell someone, well not someone” he sighed running a hand down his face. “I need to tell you — explain my feelings that I—“ you held up your hands, stopping him from speaking anymore, your eyes wide. Your chest felt like it had been stabbed and you breathing quickened. You couldn’t hear Azriel confess his love for Elain to you. It was too much.
“Please Azriel, do not finish that sentence.” You muttered, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. You ran your now clammy palms down the front of your dress before clasping your hands together.
“Listen. We are friends. And I enjoy our friendship very much, I can’t — I mean, it is not in the best interest of our friendship for me to hear about…” you took a deep breath. “Your feelings,” you managed to somehow say through gritted teeth.
Azriel’s shoulders slumped, his shadows still and peering at you. “Oh” he responded. You forced another smile and stepped back towards the living room. “Besides if you start going soft on us with all this feelings talk you know Cassian would never let you forget it” you joked quite lamely. In reality you wanted to know Azriel, wanted him comfortable to share his feelings with you. You already connected so much since you arrived to Velaris, he shared his horrible childhood, his loving mother, and all of his favorite books and Ilyrian meals. But you could never get to his heart… well maybe you couldn’t get his heart to love you. And maybe instead of chasing an impossible fantasy, last night opened your eyes that Azriel loved someone else. Someone with a mate, yes, but maybe Lucien had a point. Not every mated pair were meant to be. Maybe the cauldron was wrong this time. And despite your hunch that led you to dig up every book you cool about mates the last several months, it seemed your growing feelings for Azriel were simply that — feelings…not a mating bond growing. Not fate.
As you walked into the living room, placing down the books you brought for Rhys on the large coffee table you noticed everyone in your found family present, except Elain. How peculiar, you thought.
“I saved you a seat” Lucien told you, gesturing to the spot next to him on the couch, where he already sat next to Amren. You smiled gratefully at him and plopped down next to him, leaning your head back against the cushions as you waited for Rhys to finish an argument with Cass about whose wingspan was larger. What a silly argument, Azriel’s wingspan beat them both, and your sleepovers with Feyre and Nesta told you everything you needed to know about that. You smiled at the thought, sneaking a glance at Azriel who sat in a chair large enough for his wings. He was staring down at the floor, not speaking. Probably depressed his lover isn’t here you thought bitterly, turning away.
You glanced up at Lucien, whose mood was clearly down. “I’m sorry she isn’t here.” You whispered softly, as if he was a timid animal that may run away at any noise.
Lucien glanced your way, his lips turned up in a sad sort of smile. “I’m not.” He whispered back. His hand slowly reached up and and tucked a piece of your hair that had fallen in front of your face behind you ear.
A loud crack echoed the living room. Every conversation stopped. Every pair of eyes fixated on where the noise came from. One of the arm rests on the chair Azriel was sitting in was now crumbled on the floor, broken with the force of the grip of an angry Illyrian. His mouth was curled into a snarl, his hand that had broken the chair still in a fist even tho he remained seated.
You sat perfectly still. Unable to move and unsure of what was happening. Rhys slowly was walking toward Azriel, his brows furrowed, hands raised. You could tell from his face he was trying and failing to get inside Azriel’s mental shields.
Before Rhys could speak to Azriel a soft and airy voice filled the silent room.
“Beron is coming.”
Everyone’s head, including Azriel’s, whipped over toward the doorway of the living room. Where Elain stood, arms wrapped around her petite frame. Her eyes were glazed over, and she stared at no one.
Her soft voice continued and it made you shiver.
“In one month he will break the wards and the war of wars will begin. Many will die if the fated mates do not accept their destiny. Velaris will perish. Only the love of these two will bring peace to Velaris for good.”
No one spoke. No one even moved. Except when Elain’s knees began to buckle and her shoulders slumped, and Azriel jumped out of his chair and caught her before her head hit the floor.