Certified ASPD Haver

A blog made and run by ASPD havers for ASPD havers. 18+

[actually-aspd-culture]

Intro post

ASPD culture ask blog with occasional research and experience based reblogs. Feel free to send submissions. It could be educational both to those with and without the disorder. I have received many asks involving people who suspect themselves of ASPD saying "suspected ASPD culture is". While I don't doubt the possibility you may have ASPD, I'd prefer to keep this blog mostly focused on those who know they have ASPD with absolutely certainty. I have a few exceptions to this rule such as someone asking questions to have a better understanding of their suspected ASPD.

Trigger warnings and content warnings can be added upon request. This is a safe space for those who struggle with addiction and SH. You will not be judged for that. I practice and support harm reduction.

Minors be wary as this is a blog run by adults. I will block whoever I feel like if they are causing trouble for me. Don't ask for medical advice, don't be an ass to me, and don't justify stupid behavior. Transphobes fuck off.

Current mod list: -SPKS (Creator of blog. Most active mod) -SCW (Second most active mod) Most posts do not have sign-offs. Assume anything we say is written by one or the other. We occasionally co-write posts.

[actually-aspd-culture]

This isn't my usual post...

There are people flat out making shit up I never said as though they are "quoting" my blog. If you're going to disagree with my stances on something, at least quote me correctly before attacking my viewpoint. Let's get this straight. 1. I will never use my disorder to justify harmful or malicious behavior. While it may sometimes explain some of the things I do, that doesn't mean I am immune to personal accountability. I apply this same logic to all people. 2. "Sociopath" and or "psychopath" are not an official diagnosis. -Psychopathic traits are part of the diagnostic criteria for ASPD, but "psychopathy" unto itself is not a diagnosis. Psychopathy is a set of behavioral traits or symptoms. Think of it like how psychosis is not a disorder unto itself, but rather a set of symptoms that may or may not coincide with a particular disorder. -"Sociopath" is an outdated term that is no longer used in current clinical diagnoses. Some people may self-identify as a sociopath or psychopath. That's absolutely fine. Call yourself whatever you want. I don't care. 3. I hate pop psychology and will never endorse it in any capacity. Pop psychology often likes to create an extremely black and white mythology about the "sociopath" versus the "psychopath" that does not exist. There is so much misinformation about the nature of ASPD. No two people with ASPD are exactly alike. There are many gray areas and it's important to acknowledge nuance in this discussion without perpetuating outright myths.

4. Homicidal ideation is common in those with ASPD. While not everyone who has it will experience it, there is an undeniable overlap in symptoms. If you demonize people for simply experiencing (not acting on) it, you are not welcome on my blog. End of discussion.

[actually-aspd-culture]

ASPD and homicidal ideation: The elephant in the room

I've seen people with ASPD come from all walks of life. Some of us have homicidal ideation. Some of us don't have it at all. It is a rather common experience for many of us. It stems from many sources. Regardless of how or why, it is a topic that cannot be avoided. I feel frustrated about the way most people handle this discussion. I'm not just annoyed at prosocials. I'm even annoyed at how some antisocials approach it. There are so many people who pearl clutch over it, as if it is the ultimate evil. You can't tell your average person you experience it at all. They'll immediately be terrified of you. Others will treat you like a case study or even romanticize you as the "sexy serial killer" trope. Some will blindly encourage these behaviors without questioning the damage it will do. Others will obsessively dictate how their approach to their own homicidal ideation is morally superior to yours. I hate all of these angles. I wish that we, as a community, could have more neutral healthy discussions about how to cope with or work on these tendencies.

[knightf1sh]

Don’t call yourself a mental health advocate if you’re using words like narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, bipolar, retard, and schizo as insults.

You’re actually just ableist.

[actually-aspd-culture]

Not sure if this is the place to ask but i am curious on the experience of people with aspd and generalized anxiety disorder or just high anxiety, i feel like aspd is often shown as a oack of worry and fear and i don’t mean to invalidate that side of it, im just personally interested about the mix of anxiety and aspd.

I think this topic isn't talked about often enough. I used to think I couldn't possibly have ASPD due to certain factors like this. As it turns out, anxiety disorders are really common in people who have ASPD. The anxiety may exist as more of a physical sensation for many of us. The person may be, otherwise, completely mentally disconnected from what they're experiencing. I can attest to that myself. I often don't know what I'm experiencing is anxiety or hyper-vigilance because I can't feel it mentally. In fact, developing the ability to feel my feelings, in the moment, has been a major part of my healing process.

[actually-aspd-culture]

ASPD (plus probably chronic fatigue) culture is having intrusive thoughts but people thinking you don't because you don't have the emotional energy to act disgusted every single time you experience one. I find it performative to have to talk about how disturbed I am by them so people know I'm not a bad person. For me, I just don't make a big deal out of it and mentally go "You fucking done yet?" and it passes. I'm not going to do those things in real life, and they do distress me, but I just cannot summon the energy to be strictly upset every time. It's like dealing with the stereotypical screaming baby on a plane to me.

I feel like people expect you to be so visibly distressed to alleviate their discomfort of hearing about your intrusive thoughts.

[actually-aspd-culture]

Is it possible to have ASPD and high anxiety?

My psychological assessment came back with a diagnosis of ASPD and generalized anxiety. My anxiety disables me, and I can hardly leave the house or complete tasks because of how almost terror inducing it is. It's confusing to me because those two things feel contradictory to each other. Is this possible? Or have I been given some form of misdiagnosis?

Comorbid anxiety disorders alongside ASPD are extremely common.

[actually-aspd-culture]

aspd culture is finding having breakdowns or anger explosions ""fun"" because you feel so damn hollow inside all the fucking time 💔 i just yearn to feel something

I consider this to be a form of emotional self-harm. It's something I've also had the habit of doing.

[actually-aspd-culture]

hi!!

my really close friend just got diagnosed with aspd, what can i do to support them?

also if you have any resources on aspd i could read that would be very handy to me too :)

It's good that you're trying to be supportive of your friend. Given that ASPD is a highly stigmatized disorder, there aren't a lot of resources out there for us. I know this may sound cliche, but the #1 thing you can do is listen to them. Take their experiences seriously. Make space for their struggles. Be considerate of the issues they face, but don't enable or encourage unhealthy behaviors. Meet them where they're at. Be extremely patient with them. Know that they will always be a bit different from other people and do your best to respect that. I do not have any decent resources off the top of my head right now, but I will think on this for a bit. If I can dig through my list of personal resources and find anything useful I will send it your way.

[actually-aspd-culture]

not knowing if your boredom is as severe as aspd needs because you've always been able to occupy yourself with media and fandom and video games... and now, sleeping off the boredom when it gets to be too much. started an ssri for the depression and it almost completely mitigated the ocd and anxiety--so now there's a new baseline of boredom without the constant BARRAGE of stimulation from the anxiety, and you're nearing THIRTY and have no idea how to deal with all this shit

***

[actually-aspd-culture]

suspecting aspd (with comorbid bpd) culture is finally gaining the courage to give your therapist a list of every antisocial trait and behavior youve noticed in yourself, spent over a month finally coming to terms with and observing... and that therapist who seemed really friendly with you progressively getting more anxious when she reads that you didnt have guilt or remorse, abused animals, and crossed boundaries due to irritation. the harmful behaviors she skimmed over, and the boredom, the flat affect, the alexithymia, she called depression. i want to believe her. i shouldnt have said anything. ive spent 14 years in and out of psych treatment and it feels like i finally had the missing piece and the one therapist i opened up to, just. couldnt handle it. im tired. and yet at the same time my therapists nervousness and anxiety reading the list felt so validating. idk man. i tried to be honest and tried to get her to refer me to someone who can do an assessment and it backfired. i was honest and it backfired, big surprise.

It sounds like she isn't adequately equipped to help you. This is, unfortunately, all too common for people seeking help and support for Cluster B disorders. There is still so much stigma.

[actually-aspd-culture]

This may be a dumb question so feel free to delete.

I wanted to know if ASPD can impact the way someone engages in media. Specifically ones that are meant to elicit a reaction, like sadness, happiness, anger etc. it’ll probably be dependent on the type of media but, are you able to resonate with the it and the emotions it’s trying to elicit or is it more of a logical understanding?

I’ve tried looking into it and I’ve been getting mixed answers. Some people say that they can cry to sad movies while others can’t.

I think having any sort of neuro-developmental difference is going to impact a person's perception of everything in their life. Naturally, that's going to include the way they see and engage with media. Speaking strictly for myself, I find I often relate to fictional characters in a much different way than other people do.

[actually-aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is knowing logically that you should go to therapy to work on your issues but feeling like it’s pointless

Especially when they keep trying to work on the things that aren’t a problem. like no I don’t want to work on feeling more empathy, I want to work on my impulsivity issues.

I absolutely think a therapist should focus on the things you feel you are struggling the most with. Listening to a patient is extremely important. If you don't listen or meet us where we're at, why on earth would we want to listen to what you have to say? I'd also like to say that feeling empathy is not necessary in order to properly emulate it on a logical level. I don't get why they'd even want to focus on that factor first.

[actually-aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is having intense cravings for getting severely injured and causing chaos because you’re so understimulated all the time and think those things would feel fun

***

[actually-aspd-culture]

I was generally curious to know what do you think are some misconceptions about psychopaths/sociopaths and ASPD in general.

Myths, misconceptions and generalizations about ASPD: 1. We're all incapable of feeling guilt, remorse, or shame. While some of us may feel that way, the majority of us still have the capacity to potentially feel these things. Most of us are simply emotionally detached and thus have a harder time identifying these emotions within ourselves. That does not mean they are entirely absent. A lack of awareness of ones emotions does not equal a total absence of them.

2. It's very easy to identify us. Your average antisocial person masks in order to survive in society. It can be quite difficult to correctly identify some of us. There are many cases in which you may never know someone has it unless they directly disclose it to you. 3. We are all abusive. Some of us may behave in these ways as a result of having abusive behavior normalized to us during our upbringing. With that being said, abusive behavior is not an essential lifelong cornerstone of our existence. We can learn, grow, and do better like any other person. We must hold ourselves accountable for our own actions regardless of what disorders we may have. 4. We're aggressive or violent all of the time. I won't pretend like there is no link between ASPD and unhealthy expressions of anger, but that doesn't mean it has to define us. It's entirely possible for someone with this condition to work on healthier modes of self-expression. 5. We're incapable of prosocial emotions or behaviors, especially love and caring for others.

We are capable of experiencing a much wider range of emotions than people may realize. Many of us are able to successfully maintain long-term interpersonal relationships despite some of the difficulties we may face in connecting with others.

6. None of us want help, know we need help, or choose to go to therapy willingly of our own accord. Developmental trauma can normalize a lot of unsavory trains of thought for people. This may make it harder to identify when a behavior is unhealthy. That doesn't mean we're all incapable of knowing something is "off" about us. We may not always know how to help ourselves initially, but that is not necessarily for a lack of trying. 7. We're evil. ASPD is caused by a mixture of genetics and childhood trauma. No one is born "bad" or "evil". There is always a deeper reason for a person's behavior.

[actually-aspd-culture]

What do you think about people believing that people with ASPD can’t be self aware or aren’t capable of seeking help themselves?

I think those people are misinformed and have ableist preconceptions about how the disorder works.

[actually-aspd-culture]

extrovert aspd culture is liking the idea of people and friendships in theory but in reality you can't stand fucking anyone.

extrovert aspd culture is losing interest in newly made friends quickly, the chore of maintaining them outweighing the novelty. and yet you still go back on your search for a group that's different. (spoiler: you never will. literally only one person barring my family has been granted a long stay in my life. even the search for it has become monotonous.)

That sounds exhausting to go through.