— ease.

ace zhu. xx. the quixotic.

[seungkwanscarrots-blog]

[acxisms]

yeongthegiant.

“Good, you’re one of the few who can, then,” Deryl commented, and that wasn’t a lie. The few people who didn’t seem to mind the fact that he regularly liked to butt heads was his own bandmates, and even then it was just a sort of resignation because at least he was talking instead of falling further into the shell he developed over the tears to protect himself.

He never really tries to be all that stern when he’s telling Ace these things, it’s just his natural protectiveness, mixed with an already rough manner of speech that put people at unease, like he figured he might be with Ace accidentally. Could anyone blame him for being stern with the younger, though? They ran a real risk hurting themselves with the dancing on a rigorous schedule with little breaks in between. So he constantly worried.

The younger certainly knew how to flatter, at least, so he would give them that, but he keeps the smile on his face despite knowing it may perhaps be a little bit hollow. “Thank your mom first, at least, she only raised you,” Deryl said with a laugh.

       ‘ i’ve known you long enough, to know better, ’ maybe that hadn’t been a complete truth. a lot of the time they had steered conversations with deryl in a different direction, often straying from their own opinions just to avoid butting heads with the elder. it wasn’t exactly knowing better, just knowing how to avoid certain confrontations they’d rather not face.

like being lectured on working too late, for instance. ace had adapted rather well to the schedule they had created for themself, which had consisted of days between one studio and another; teaching dancers like them and being taught by elder’s far above. so, instead of arguing further on the subject, a suggestion left their lips. ‘ are you heading home soon ? i was about to leave .. i’ll head out with you. 

‘ she gets saved for the end of the speech ---- thanking her at the beginning would take too long, ’ ace grinned.

[thequotejournals]

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once.

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood  (via wordsnquotes)

[acxisms]

yeongthegiant.

       “Ace, people say they’re out of practice when they were able to do it at one point, and I’ve never been able to, so that doesn’t really work,” Deryl reasoned. “Trust me, Ace, it’s not a talent that I have. But if you really want to see that, I’ll do it net time. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he joked.

“I’ve transplanted a decade long career to a different country with a different language. There’s always going to be more work to do,” Deryl said. Granted, it wasn’t as if he was ready to embrace the overly angsty writings that he penned in his early teens, but it helped to emphasize his point that most of the writing he had under his belt now were in English, and he wanted to finally make his debut in his home country. So he had a lot of work to rewrite and record. 

When Ace stumbles at Deryl’s mentioning of the debut group, he scratches his neck. The fate of the trainees didn’t rest in his hands, and he didn’t know who was going to be in the group or if Ace was part of the line-up, but he felt for them. Sitting in uncertainty while others decided if you were ready or not was a drag, and that was why Deryl would never put himself in the position of a trainee. “Both are going well, actually. I’m actually not sure if mine is going to be the one, but we’re doing a presentation next week to chose which one is going to be the title track, so here’s hoping.”

          ace waved off deryl’s words quickly with a hand, which soon returned to on the floor by their side. ‘ i know you can dance, everyone can, ’ ace stated simply, and grinned at the elder’s promise of next time. ‘ good ! i’ll be waiting for next time. ’

more often than not, ace had forgotten just how much time deryl had spent in korea in comparison to them; and even more so, how different their passions could be at times. dancing didn’t have a language, didn’t have to be converted from one to another; and perhaps, they had taken that for granted. music wasn’t always the same. ‘ i guess that’s true... you should just be careful about doing too much work at once, you know ? ’ oh, ace; ever the hypocrite.

the dancer tried to shrug off the feeling that rose in their stomach; anticipation and desperation mixed with wanting. wanting, wanting, always wanting. although they were aware there had been others in the same position as them, in the same position longer, and even those who had been more talented--- ace couldn’t help themself in hoping that for once they’d be chosen. for once, that they’d be good enough. an almost forced smile took place of their previous expression  ‘ are you kidding ? i’m sure yours will be picked--- and if it isn’t, i’m sure it’s still good ! ah, it’d be so cool to know you were the one who produced the next big hit. ’

[acxisms]

vnki.

       ————  ❛ m e l t i n g  into a touch, caressed cheeks reddened with the contact of tips ( pigment, result of blurred emotions— SHY and overwhelmed ), crevices of lips twitched— an UPTURN,  g e n t l e n e s s  tangling within rose-coloured petals, ‘ s-sorry… i— i was just surprised, ’ stuttered words, matching hitched breath, emitted ( softness dripping from each syllable ). an exhale shifting to a widened smile,  e x p o s e d  whites, the mimic of the adjacent, ‘ i like the sound of ours. ’ sincerity bled, the others reassurance aiding in the decline of RAPID beats ( to be overwhelmed was frequent for jeaki ), even if shock— surprise— was still dancing through bones. ‘ nothing to thank you for? ’ disbelief choked response, agape lips, threads knitting brows to a furrow, ‘ i have so much to thank you for—— this is just an addition to the list. ’ and, though, he could have EASILY followed with said list, jeaki opted for a  s e t t l i n g  of lips upon a cheek— a gentle contact holding all that wanted to be said— followed by a nod. ‘ it’s the best birthday i’ve had, ’ admittance, hummed following the placement of the animal on the ground, ‘ — and, my day had only just started… but, you really didn’t have to do or get me anything ! i mean, i was expecting— hoping, you’d forget. ’ after all, that’s all he’d become used to, ‘ thank you, though… i don’t think i can express that enough.’ and, despite emitted laughter ( huffed through breaths, RESPONSE to a concluding statement ), the soft melodies of jeaki’s voice, sincerity was consuming his entirety.

     as a palm continued to caress the other’s face and silently brush away wetness at cheeks, a fond smile overtook ace’s features. i was just surprised. ‘ the good kind of surprised, right ? ’ they asked, and though they had been quite aware of the answer, they awaited for jeaki’s confirmation anyway. with jeaki’s next words, a bright pink color was brought upon the flesh of ace’s cheeks, as well as the tips of their ears. ‘ ours does sound a bit better, ’ they considered, grin brightening past previous boundaries. ‘ she’s ours. ’ ace concluded, allowing their gaze to divert one moment from the smaller boy to the puppy wandering about the shared apartment. ‘ you really don’t ---- ’ ace shook their head slightly, but HUSHED the moment jeaki left a kiss upon their cheek. ‘ see ? that’s all the thanks i need. ’ and though a joke about the need for more than one kiss began to leave their lips, they quickly decided upon silence instead. ‘ good. you deserve it, ’ the dancer uttered, and confusion spread with jeaki’s expression of hoping they’d forget his birthday. ‘ i could never forget your birthday ! why would you want me too ? ’ they asked before settling on the couch in their living room. sometimes --- a lot of the time, actually, ace was worried of being too much for jeaki. but with the response they’d gotten, ease had taken place over worry. ‘ there’s another thing--- a couple, i guess. one is that i’ll be home all day, ’ ace admitted. ‘ though---- that’s not much of a gift. but there is another gift. ’

[msjessicaday]

[acxisms]

yeongthegiant.

“Ace, there’s a reason why I was in a band and not a boy group, I cannot dance,” Deryl said. And while he was serious about this, he would probably still attempt, if only just for the amusement of the younger. “I know it’d motivate you to be a better dancer so it’d at least be helpful in that regard.” he said with a chuckle.

“I can’t not do extra, you should really know that by now. I’m still trying to get used to having time on my hands, but since I’m here I should use the studio as often as I can,” Deryl said. “I was working on a composition for the debut group and–well, something for myself. It’s been a while since I’ve actually done anything, so I figured its time.”

        ‘ that’s not true, ’ ace shook their head. to them, anyone could dance, if they really wanted to. ‘ you’re just out of practice. plenty of people in groups have gone from thinking that they can’t dance --- to dancing really well. ’ of course, ace reconciled with the fact that it was largely due to an underlying desire to want to dance better --- and the dancer pretty sure deryl didn’t have much desire to dance at all. ‘ it’s more likely that i’ll just want you to dance in the studio with me, ’ ace smiled, ‘ so maybe it’s better to keep your talents under-wraps. ’

‘ soon enough there’ll be no more work to do. ’ ace joked, and then their eyebrows rose with the mention of a composition group. ‘ are you really ? that’s ... how is it coming along ? both things, i mean --- no, yours. how is the one for you coming along ? ’

[acxisms]

jaejiins.

╰  `  ⋆   ———  he’s aware ace is BUSY, their time consumed with the rigorous schedule of a trainee, but it doesn’t halt jaejin’s selfish urge to steal them away for a few hours of what he’d only half-jokingly dub FATHER-SON BONDING TIME. admittedly, he’s developed an acute fondness for the kid, and it’s that soft ( alternatively: weak ) part of his heart that practically jolts when he can hear the faint call of ace’s voice through the walls. swift strides have him promptly reaching the door, a warm smile already brightening his countenance once he greets ace in record time. “ hey, bitch. ” he hums; a hand reaches out to RUFFLE their hair, an affectionate hello with little regard for how they may have styled it in the morning. “ y’know, if you had abandoned me for even an hour longer, i would’ve gone into cardiac arrest and literally fuckin’ died. thank god you came over when you did. ” an arm reaches to wrap around ace’s shoulders, guiding them into the penthouse until jaejin notices the groceries, touch disregarded in favor of grabbing at the bags in his typical, ENTITLED fashion. “ you brought over pineapple? dude, nice. ”

      the vocal greeting provided by the elder rolled off their shoulders as usual, and though perhaps shock should’ve been worn on features the moment jaejin’s hand reached out to tousle faded lavender locks, ace’s signature smile widened only widened. ‘ an hour ? so i had plenty of time to spare, ’ ace started, mirth doubling before they continued with a small whine entering their tone, ‘ i could’ve spent so much longer at the store, at home, anything. i wanted to get here just before you went into cardiac arrest. ’ the teasing was lighthearted, shared in favor of playing along with jaejin’s demeanor. they allowed themself to be guided into the penthouse, astonishment of the interior never failing each time they came over. it wasn’t until the other grabbed the bags from them that their attention was caught once more. ‘ of course --- it’d be rude not to bear gifts, ’ ace stated as if it had been a matter-of-fact. ‘ that -- and i was kind of hungry. ’

[acxisms]

vnki.

        ————  ❛  words danced across a tongue,  s w e e t n e s s  alike HONEY, with the desire to spill— failing, at the hands of emotions, tangling with the syllables— as obsidian irises FLICKERED between the tall stature of his partner and the bundle of fur… adoration alight, regardless of where they opted to settle. it was beyond belief, the sight before him, with the wriggling of the animal within interlaced arms—— NEVER had he anticipated this ( dreamed it, of course, but for it to become reality was unrealistic )—— but, from the pools across reddened cheeks to the exposure of pearls, lips tugged to a GRIN, it was evident that he was overflowing with gratitude. ‘ s-so, she’s ours? ’ the desperate need for confirmation was abrupt, escaping alongside the streams from  s e a r c h i n g  hues, whilst fingertips embedded themselves within beds of fur ( accepting the offering of holding the animal—— even if there was the FEAR that it would end in him dropping her ). ‘ t-thank you, ’ hums bled, once more, a sensation gliding across lips ( desire to plant endless kisses across the collarbones of the adjacent— though, he knew it would have to wait ), ‘ i always think there is no possible way that i could love you any more than i do and you go and prove me wrong. ’  he stated, before placing the puppy at his feet ( love seeping in his touch ), allowing her to explore the restrictions of their apartment.

      the instant ace got a glance at the wetness staining the elder’s cheeks, after they had offered and distributed the animal into jeaki’s arms, the very ends of fingertips reached out to brush tears away. ‘ don’t cry, ’ they whispered, fingertips greedily pressed against flesh fully now in a desire for closeness. ‘ she’s ours ... she’s yours. ’ ace nodded reassuringly, their wide smile intact. the fear that jeaki wouldn’t like-- no, wouldn’t love the gift they’d spent weeks worrying about, lessened slightly with the visage of the smaller holding the animal with intense care. ‘ there’s nothing to thank me for, ’ ace said, bashfulness seeping into their tone and demeanor. ‘ i just wanted to make your birthday a little special --- i hope i have. ’ if not --- they had more planned, not that the elder needed to know that just yet. warmness spread with jeaki’s words, prompting the redness of ace’s cheeks and ears. ( they were never sure if they’d ever get used to so much love coming from jeaki without becoming red ). ace watched as jeaki set the puppy down on the wood flooring of their apartment, and soon after, long fingers stretched out to interlace with the other’s. ‘ this year has been a bit ... wild. i thought, hey, one more wild thing couldn’t hurt. ’

[gyushua]

the duality of minghao

[acxisms]

trishuang.

“that’s four years longer than me, though!” tristan supplies with ease, leaning back against the bench fully to lift his head up towards the flurry still steadily falling, not minding the small flakes the lay against his cheeks and eyelashes. “cold and dry? wow. i wasn’t expecting that at all!” laughter spills from tristan’s lips as he’s not bothered by the other’s own tease, before humming softly to himself and looking back towards the whitening scenery around them, “it’s almost making me miss the city a little bit.” tristan pauses, pulling a face, “just a little bit, though.”

      ‘ that’s true enough --- but i can still only inform on experience instead of actually knowing all the factors, ’ ace pointed out with a small shrug. though they hadn’t enjoyed the cooler weather that accompanied the winter months as much as they enjoyed spring and summer weather --- ace never found themself complaining too much about the cold. ‘ yes, cold and dry --- but again, i suppose it’s like that quite a few places. ’ amusement still played at tiers, merriment springing into a wider form once the laugh of the elder sounded. ‘ just a little bit ? ’ ace asked, curiosity dripping from their tone. the snow that came along with the last months of a year always had ace thinking about home a bit more. ‘ i never spent much time in the city during the winter. is it as bad as everyone always describes ? ’

[acxisms]

vnki.

         ————  ❛  b a l l e d  digits brushed across lashes, remnants of sleep diminishing with the touch ( a clearer view following—— outlines of bodies, beings, filling to more than just blurred shapes ), as the elder WELCOMED himself deeper into the room… nearing his partner and the white bundle within their grip. breath  h i t c h i n g  with the realisation, emotion dancing across the paleness of flesh with a ROSE hue ( settling upon the apples of cheeks ), as a threat of waterworks brimmed at tear-ducts, restrained with force— ‘ a-ace? ’  softness claimed a tone, footsteps failing to follow ( their eagerness bringing a heaviness… or, as much weight that could come from such a starved being ), irises DANCING, ‘ y-you didn’t? did you? ’ knowing swelled in words, though, strong doubt seeped within a mind— this was a DREAM, it had to be— ‘ i don’t believe it. ’ a second. a beat of a chest. fingertips, delicate, came in contact with the new presence, a trigger for moisture to fine the redness of cheeks ( excitement, perhaps— and just a little overwhelmed ), ‘ t-thank you… ’ tiptoes pulled five foot three to level with a jawline, the tilt of a head to aid in the pressure placed upon flesh ( love bleeding through the softness ), ‘ i love you.’ words seeped, attention shortly averting, embracing the white BUNDLE.

        ace’s gaze remained glued to the presence of jeaki, whom had been s e e m i n g l y taking in the presence of them and the dog; ace couldn’t blame him--- the sight hadn’t been one found in the apartment, well ... ever. the small bundle wrapped in ace’s arms squirmed slightly as excitement pulsed through her, which caused a smile to stretch across the dancer’s brims to display a set of pearly whites. ‘ yes ? ’ they answered, grin unable to be contained as jeaki neared. though, there was a pang of fear in their stomach at the sound of their partner’s voice --- jeaki sounded undoubtedly close to tears. ‘ i ... i did, yes, ’ they nodded, gaze shifting from the other to the small pup momentarily, before a try at an explanation began falling from tiers. ‘ i wanted it to be a surprise with ... well, something else. but i think she was just too excited to get to meet you. ’ warmth greeted words with a small laugh, just as the white ball in their arms piped up in agreement. ‘ she loves you already. i knew she would. ’ ace cooed, offering the weight of the dog in jeaki’s direction as they felt a slight pressure on the expanse of their jaw, and oh --- no. now was about ki. ‘ i love you too, ’ they assured, a genuine sense seeping from syllables before asking, ‘ do you want to hold her ? ’

[acxisms]

vnki.

          ————  ❛ sunshine danced, radiant against pale flesh ( exposed, blanket  t o r n  away with RESTLESS sleep ), as jeaki stirred, the shifting of another body reasoning for the wake. complaint died upon lips, with irises locating the upright posture of ace, instead, exhausted slurs replaced—— a ‘ good morning,’  and an  ‘ i love you. ’  followed with strings of syllables that FAILED to make sense, sleep  w i n n i n g  ( before he even had time to PROTEST against ace’s departure ). jeaki was unsure as to how long sleep had blanketed his being, when his frame jolted upright with the floods of noise welcoming itself into his apartment, an expression of  f e a r  tugging at features— ace was supposed to be at work, wasn’t they? hesitant steps, slow ( in contrast to the thudding within a chest ), brought the source to sight and if jeaki was to recognise anyone through blurred vision, it would be ace ( a trigger for CONFUSION to taint an expression ), ‘ a-ace… what’s going on? ’

       perhaps a bit of worry had spread through the younger when they left for the day, an anxious belief that jeaki might see their departure and sudden return as a form of trickery ( though, ace hadn’t exactly told jeaki that they’d called off work the entire day ). when they arrived back into the apartment, a hope that the elder was still sleeping past ( that, or-- gone to school early. this was a surprise they wanted to go according to plan ). however, the moment ace had set the puppy down in the living room, she had begun wandering and sniffing around. not long after, soft barks erupted through the apartment, which caused ace to shuffle toward the pup in hopes of quieting her. however, rustlings coming from another room ( the room that belonged to just ace when they moved in--- but since the months the two had been together, jeaki had migrated most of his things into the room as well ), silent curses passed through parted lips. jeaki’s voice interrupted them in their endeavor of picking up the puppy, leaving the dancer stopped in their tracks as they took in the sight of their very sleepy looking boyfriend. ‘ um, ’ ace started, awkwardness penetrating the simple syllable. this wasn’t what had been planned. ‘ i ... happy birthday ? ’

[acxisms]

yeongthegiant.

      “Didn’t mean to startle you,” Deryl said with a soft smile toward the younger as he came into the room. “Just wanted to be quiet in case you were still working.” He knew there was a couple of trainees that would sacrifice sleep at the expense of practicing on their own, but none more than Ace.

“Not here to murder you, just finishing up some extra work since I was here,” he said, scratching  his head. “I usually end up staying pretty late, it’s easier to work on music here than at home.”

        ‘ i’m just kidding--- it’s fine, ’ ace assured genuinely, though they still urged the nerves that had surged to calm to a steady hum. ‘ you should come in dancing next time --- it’ll never not be fitting. ’ that --- and had a wish to see the elder dancing. maybe because the concept seem so unlike deryl.

‘ extra work ? ’ ace asked, ears and eyes perked with interest. there would never be a day where ace wasn’t interested in the elder’s endeavors. especially in music ... especially now that they were working at the same company once more. ‘ i think you do enough work for half the world, deryl. i don’t know how you can do extra. ’

[trishuang-blog1]

“does it snow a lot in seoul?“ tristan asks from where he’s sitting on the park bench the both of them had stopped at momentarily, gloved hands rubbing together as he attempts to warm the chill out of them. he had met up with @acxisms to grab food but after eating and seeing the small flurries begin to fall from the sky, the both of them figured hanging out a little bit longer to enjoy the sudden weather shift wouldn’t be such a bad idea. “snow in new york was always cool,” tristan smiles a little at the few memories that come forth with bringing up winter in new york, gaze shifting to look towards ace now, “this is my first winter here! i… wasn’t really sure what to expect.”

[acxisms]

           ‘ not quite as much as i remember it snowing in new paltz, ’ they responded after a long, thoughtful pause, and a smile overtook their features before the dancer added an afterthought. ‘ though --- i’ve only been here five years --- i can’t exactly say i’m an expert. ’ ace concluded, closing with a small final shrug. they allowed a gaze to wander from the park bench to the skies above, reddened cheeks smiling at the sight, and numbly cold ( due to not being gloved ) hands had been held out for snowflakes to land upon. ‘ cold .. dry .. really cold. ’ ace giggled with their words, eyes shiifting to tristan with amusement. ‘ it’s always really beautiful, though. most places are. ’

[acxisms]

        e x i t e m e n t barreled through bones the moment ace’s eyes had opened in the early morning of @vnki‘s birthday. though the dancer’s plan hadn’t EXACTLY gone the way they wanted it to the night before--- ( which hadn’t ended in an unpleasant way, mind you ), they still aimed to keep the rest of it intact. nearly an hour after getting out of bed and pretending to go to work, ace re-entered the apartment shared between the two with a ball of white fluff nuzzled into their arms. the elder had gone on a COUPLE times about how much he would like to have a pet --- and ace had been planning the adoption for a little over a month in advance of the boy’s birthday. today was the day to present their gift --- and they could only hope that jeaki wouldn’t mind at all that the very gift they got was a puppy.

[minghaon]

Minghao x Girl Group Dances