Some "unbearably in love" Thor + Jotun Loki for you all 😙
Yaaasssssss

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@adararosefanfic
Some "unbearably in love" Thor + Jotun Loki for you all 😙
Yaaasssssss
Zuko: Due to personal reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Mai: Sokka said “I love you” and you said something like “Thanks”, didn’t you?
Zuko: The reasons are personal.
Sam: Why are you helping me?
Bucky: Because my life is a mess and I compulsively take care of other people when I don’t know how to take care of myself.
Geraskier Incorrect Quotes [6/∞] (insp.)
Geraskier Incorrect Quotes [2/∞] (in/sp.)
Nivellen’s eyes fell on the Witcher as he took in every word that uttered from his lips. He nodded his head slowly as he twisted his tusked mouth.
“You broke his heart.”
Geralt did not say a word. Instead he lowered his head towards the floor, avoiding his friend’s prying gaze. But Nivellen did not need to hear the answer to his assumptions, for Geralt’s silence proved his words to be true.
Nivellen walked over towards him, resting his firm hand on Geralt’s shoulder. He gazed out of the window in front of him and watched as the snow fell like petals onto the ground, painting his garden white with each drop.
“It seems my friend,” Nivellen spoke, a dreary sigh parting his lips. “That no matter how hard we try to suppress the beast in side of us, we will always be cursed to hurt the ones we love.”
Geralt shrugged his friend’s hand off his shoulder, an exasperated huff concealing his displeasure at his friend’s words. But Nivellen noticed and could not help but stare at him with pity.
“Take it from me, my boy.” Nivellen continued, “a life without love… is a life well spent.”
And with that Nivellen left the Witcher alone in the dining hall with nothing but the crackling fireplace to keep his fragile heart warm.
Geralt hesitated for a moment before resting his hand alongside Jaskier’s neck, his thumb brushing against his jaw. He watched anxiously as Jaskier lowered his gaze, his eyes hiding beneath his shabby brown hair.
Geralt found it hard to read his thoughts, though in the past it was easier to tell how he felt, for his loud mouth revealed it all. But here in this moment, he wished he would say something, anything, for the lingering silence was aching torture, tormenting him with very passing second.
Nevertheless, Geralt found that he did not need to wait any longer for he soon felt Jaskier’s chin brush against his thumb, leaning into his touch. He breathed a sigh of relief before moving his hand to cup Jaskier’s cheek, the chill of his skin biting against his.
Jaskier pressed his cheek further against Geralt’s palm, his lips grazing the roughness of his skin. “You hurt me.”
Geralt did not say a word for he did not know what to say… he knew it was the truth. He had left him up on the mountains those many years ago with nothing but the sting of his venomous words to carry him home. What else could he say to console him? What words could undo the pain he had already caused?
Jaskier raised his head slowly, his misty-eyes fixed on the man in front of him. “You hurt me.”
Geralt could feel his breath hasten as he stared back at the bard. His lips forming into a twist as he tried to conjure up words of solace but to no avail his silence remained.
Jaskier’s gaze lingered on Geralt for a moment, waiting for anything to utter from his lips. But when he heard nothing at all, his eyes closed shut. Soon, a tear trailed down his cheek, dampening his skin. Geralt caressed the wet area with his thumb and Jaskier leaned in, surrendering himself to the warmth of his embrace. But soon he let go, removing himself from Geralt’s touch.
“Jaskier—“ Geralt pleaded, but the bard was already walking out of the cell, his figure getting further and further away from him.
Geralt lowered his head, his feet twisting the hay beneath him. He let out a deep sigh before following on after the heartbroken bard.
Jaskier tells his friends from Oxenfurt about Geralt and they think he's lying. They think Jaskier's just a super talented songwriter with a rich imagination and that Geralt is just a character he made up.
And then one day they meet a 6.1 ft tall, enormous, scary-looking Witcher with two huge swords, who smiles only at Jaskier and lets him sit in his lap.
***
Geralt's brothers also think that Geralt is bluffing about Jaskier. Sure, they heard the nice songs about Witchers, but that doesn't mean anything. There's no way that Geralt could've befriended someone, let alone a human bard.
And then they meet an adorable, bubbly bard, who can be frightened easily by a lot of things, but never by Geralt. So he has no problem calling Geralt "sweetheart" in front of his family and stealing his ale.
Jaskier is in the middle of another argument with his colleagues about whether geralt exists
Geralt *bursts through door*: the academy is haunted
Collected academics: what
Geralt *swings Jaskier over his shoulder and runs out*: academy's haunted, need this
Collected academics:
Roach keeping Ciri from doing something dangerous.
Roach is the best horse mum!
Geralt: Jaskier... I've been meaning to ask you something.
Jaskier: Oh Gods, me too. Been thinking about it a lot lately.
Geralt *giving him a small smile*: Really?
Jaskier: Yes. I think we waited enough time. I'm ready.
Geralt: Good.
Geralt and Jaskier, simultaneously:
-Will you marry me?
-Can I have my own sword?
Geralt:
Jaskier:
Geralt: Um. Never mind. I- Wait, a sword?
Jaskier: Ask me again.
Geralt, blinking: What?
Jaskier, rolling his eyes fondly: Ask me. Again.
Geralt: ...Will you marry me?
Jaskier, tackling him to the ground: YES!!! Yes yes yes, a thousand times yes, I thought you'll never ask!
*Vesemir, Lambert and Eskel, watching them from the table*
Lambert: What did I just witness?
Eskel: Dibs on getting Jaskier a sword as their wedding present.
Lambert: Hey, not fair!
Vesemir: Already did.
Lambert and Eskel: What the hell??
Vesemir *smiling and looking up*: Geralt, can you please stop squeezing him and let me hug my future son in law? Or at least take it to your rooms.
Bilingual Geralt waking up super groggy. He enters the living room, where Jaskier is currently teaching an online class, and starts this satanic chanting in Elder Speech and Jaskier is like "Yeah I just made a fresh pot of coffee, love you too babe."
I don’t know if you’ve seen that Good Omens Uni-Professor AU, but now I’m imagining Jaskier randomly dropping a tiny detail about something cute or dorky his husband does. He tries not to talk about his home life too much, but like, he can’t help it. Pretty soon students have this image of a sweet, soft hearted dork in sweaters.
And halfway into the semester they switch online because plague times and then this happens and suddenly there are several small group chats speculating about if Professor Pankrats is cheating on his sweet husband with that scary biker dude who speaks Ye Olde Elder of all things.
Ciri is a student at the university because the school is good and the tuition is cheap for a faculty’s kid. She’s video chatting with Dara, her now long-distance biology partner and Dara mentioned way back in the semester that he was taking Pankrats’ for music theory and Ciri loves a good bit of trouble and mischief and gossip so she doesn’t mention that Jaskier is one of her dads. One day Dara mentions that he thinks his music teacher is having an affair and Ciri freaks out because wtf, that does not sound even a little possible, and then Dara describes the scary biker dude and Ciri’s just got a shit-eating grin and says nothing.
And then at dinner she says, “So Papa, when were you going to tell me you were cheating on Dad with some scary biker dude?” all casual like.
Jaskier sputters in shock, because “excuse me???”
Geralt knows exactly what Ciri’s doing. He knows how Jaskier talks about him, knows what people think when they first see Geralt, and knows just how much his daughter loves to mess with them.
(He is definitely telling Yen about this)
Also, Dara definitely knows what Geralt said that morning because he too speaks Elder, and none of it sounds like the picture Dara had of Professor Pankrats’ husband
Geralt is worried about bringing Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, cause Geralt acts like an entirely different person when he's around his brothers.
Geralt thinks that Jaskier sees him a serious man, with a secret soft side. But when Geralt's around his brothers... All hell break loose. Here's what Jaskier sees when he stays at the Witchers' keep for the winter:
- Geralt and his brothers get drunk. A lot. It usually results with one of them running around the keep, naked.
- They have ridiculous games like telling about the most brutal contract you've ever had, but replace the words "my sword" with "my dick".
- Playing strip gwent. Outside. In the middle of the coldest night of the winter.
- Planking while the others pile things up on you. Whoever manages to hold the least of things, does the others' laundry for a week.
- "Put as much stuff as you can on Vesemir, without him noticing".
- "Who can make the bard blush first without being rude" (this game is new and Geralt HATES it).
- Randomly yelling "BRUXA" in the middle of the day and all of them need to do a handstand as fast as they can. Whoever loses, does the dishes. Jaskier is still surprised how Geralt never loses at this.
- "Reply to Vesemir only in questions".
- Tell Vesemir that you fell in love with someone. And then describe your horse, without making him realize that you're talking about a horse. When Geralt attempts this, Vesemir gives him a small smile and looks at Jaskier. "Geralt sure thinks fondly of you". Eskel and Lambert spit out their soup, bursting in laughter.
- Wear one of Vesemir's shirts for as long as you can, without him noticing. Lambert always wins this one.
- Replace the lyrics to one of Jaskier's songs with the most ridiculous ones you can. Jaskier hates this game at first, but eventually he starts suggesting lines himself. One time Jaskier sings a wrong line from their game during a performance a Geralt almost chokes on his ale.
- "How many times a day Geralt smiles at Jaskier while the bard's looking away?" (Eskel and Lambert LOVE this one).
- "Who can embarrass Geralt more with a ridiculous childhood story".
- Answer "Lambert" to every one of Vesemir's questions.
- Ask Vesemir with a serious face why didn't he tell you that you were adopted.
- Teach your brother's horse to respond to a different name. Lambert is furious when Geralt teaches his horse to respond to "Aiden". "Now you can surely say that you're riding Aide-" Geralt doesn't get to finish as Lambert tackles him to the ground.
- And of course, succeed in tackling you brother randomly to the ground. They keep score.
Not only does Jaskier love these games and this new, goofy side of Geralt. He also participates in a lot of them.
And to Geralt's horror and his brothers sheer amusement, the bard's winning.
- Who can t-pose in the strangest location in Kaer Morhen? Jaskier is winning after t-posing on the top of one of the tower’s . He was there for 3 hours before anyone noticed him. Says the view was wonderful.
- Drink from Lambert’s secret stash of alcohol but convince him it was someone else. Eskel won this by making up a story about Geralt having impotency problems in the bedroom. Geralt still won’t talk to him.
- Scream “you’re not my father” at Vesemir when he tells you to train or do work around the keep.
- Bets on who can catch the most fish from the lake. Devolved into brawling after Eskel made the point that blowing up the fish doesn’t count as catching them and Lambert jumped him.
- Retelling Vesemir’s stories in a crotchety old man voice and starting each one with “Back in my day...” Points are rewarded for style and how close in proximity you are to Vesemir when you do this.
- Vesemir and Jaskier come up with a game where they pick someone to be on their shit list and while they’re on the shit list, they get the weirdest pranks pulled on them, like waking up to harpy eggs under their bottom. The shit list criteria are secret and change sporadically.
- Jaskier comes up with the bardic equivalent of “Mmm whatcha say” and he follows Geralt around, playing it whenever Geralt refuses to do something that Jaskier asks of him. “Can I have a roll?” “No.” ‘Mmm what doth thou spake’ starts in the background.
"WHAT DOTH THOU SPAKE"
"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD"
I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ohmygosh I love this so much. Yes, let's take memes and make them bardic form please.
-"Imma let you finish, but *starts singing toss a coin off key* "
-"You can't get rid of me if I'm not yours" Jaskier says every time Geralt is pissed at him, taking Lambert's hand.
-Eskel and Lambert play "Not sure if Geralt is talking to Jaskier or to his horse".
-Jaskier and Lambert getting drunk and accidentally burning half of the kitchen. "What the fuck are you doing??" "Making Kaer Morhen great again!"
-Jaskier, raising his voice when Geralt enters the room, talking about him. "Is this the White Wolf of Rivia or is it my kitten?" The pet names get even more ridiculous with every passing day.
Oh and of course Jaskier always saying "back when Geralt and I were married", when talking about his and Geralt's travels (he and Geralt are not and never were married).
Until Jaskier says it one time over dinner and Geralt just raises his head and tells him. "You know what? Fine. Let's get married".
And everybody just SCREAMS
Possibly some more???
- after Jaskier says that Geralt is his very best friend one night while drunk, Eskel and Lambert joke by acting like drunk Jaskier and call Geralt their very best friend.
- during training, when ‘slow motion’ is yelled, they will do super slow training, can be running or sword training. They had to change it because before it was randomly going slow, but the boys got hurt too many times.
- Jaskier came up with a game of staring back at people when playing, since sometimes the boys would just sit and watch him play, so if he catches one of them, he stares back while continuing to sing. The longest gaze he’s held is with Geralt, Eskel and Lambert kinda stopped trying.
- when Vesemir is talking, repeat what he says in an encouraging way, so if he wants chores done, Lambert or Jaskier will repeat him very enthusiastically. Goal is to either get Vesemir mad, or to get him pumped up too.
- Jaskier will baby voice some of the boys, when they’re talking randomly one afternoon, he starts to talk to Eskel like a mother would a babe, and all the boys love it.
- all of them like to grab a random inanimate object and carry it around, calling it names. They once found Lambert in the kitchen with an old battle axe he found, its name for that evening was Jamie.
- when Vesemir gets into one of the boys, they find stuff to disguise with. Very often does one at Kaer Morhen see Vesemir getting onto the lads and Lambert and Eskel using Geralt’s hair as a moustache.
- scavenger hunt, Jaskier and Vesemir made this together because somedays the boys are just so bored. One of them will hide things either inside the Keep because it’s snowing, or outside right before it gets bad. They also make riddles together. Eskel is fantastic at the riddles, Geralt is in the lead with finding things first, and Lambert is the fastest to turn in saying he’s found stuff.
👏👏👏👏👏
A Marriage of Convenience
Octoberfest romcom tropes day 1: fake dating
Jaskier pushed his ale aside and broke the wax seal on the letter. As he read the contents, his face pinched into a frown.
“Anything important?” Geralt asked, glancing up from his soup.
Jaskier chewed his lower lip. “Not really. It’s from my family.” He took a breath. “They’re going to disinherit me.”
Geralt raised an eyebrow. “What did you do this time?”
Jaskier scoffed. “Nothing, thank you very much! But it’s my 35th birthday next month, and the stipulations of the Lettenhove family will are quite clear. If the oldest son isn’t married by the age of 35, inheritance passes to the next married cousin.”
“Very keen on weddings in Lettenhove, are they?”
“Rather less keen on unmarried bachelors, actually.”
Geralt grunted. “That’s too bad. I imagine a viscount’s fortune could have come in handy for you.”
“Oh, I don’t care about the money.” Jaskier waved a hand dismissively. “It’s just,” he sighed. “I have younger sisters who rely on me for support. If the inheritance goes to cousin Edward, he’ll turn them out without a penny to their names.”
“That’s unkind.”
“It is.” Jaskier slumped. He was glad to have left Lettenhove and its court intrigues behind, but the thought of his sisters being at the mercy of his greedy cousin was unconscionable. He knew too well all the terrible things that could befall a woman alone in the world.
“This will,” Geralt said, stirring his soup absentmindedly, “does it have any rules about who you have to marry?”
“No. Any old wedding will do. But it’s not like I’m going to find anyone willing to tie themselves to me in the next month.”
Geralt shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll marry you.”
Jaskier choked on his ale. “You?”
“Why not?”
“Because…” he broke off and mopped the sweat from his brow. Because I’ve been in love with you for decades. Because I’ve fantasised about you saying this in a million different ways. Because having to pretend it’s real is going to break my heart.
Geralt reached over the table and patted his hand. “It’ll just be pretend,” he said, as if that were in any way reassuring. “This is a problem easily solved. Let me help you.”
Jaskier sagged. This was going to be a disaster.
Keep reading
Take Me, I’m Yours
(the highest voted options on the poll were ‘Geralt rescues Jaskier from trouble’ and ‘Jaskier riles the Captain up in public’ so I teamed up with the ever-marvelous, stupendously talented @limrx to bring you this Swashbuckling AU oneshot/art piece featuring a horribly jealous Geralt and a frisky, flirty Jaskier)
————————
“Do you think he likes me back?” Jaskier asked. He leaned over the ship’s railing to look more closely at the dolphin following behind them. Lambert didn’t think he’d fall overboard but it would be kind of funny if he did. The strange young nobleman did have a way of always landing on his feet, though.
“I know he does.”
“Well how come he hasn’t told me anything about it, then?”
“You’ve met the Captain, right? About this tall, long white hair, weird yellow eyes, emotionally incompetant?”
“You have a good point. Should I just confront him about it?”
“Yeah, sure.” Lambert rolled his eyes before shooting Jaskier a pointed look. “If you want to send your ransom note back to Lettenhove the following morning.”
“Fuck. I just want to kiss him, Lambert. Regularly. I want to know if he snores or not. I want to lay on the deck beneath the stars and talk to him like we’re friends and not just pirate and pseudo-pirate-captive. I really want to see what his ass looks like under those godsforsaken trousers, Lambert, it’s killing me not knowing.”
“You’re more insatiable than a siren during the rainy season,” the second mate teased. “But with fewer teeth.”
“Shut up.”
“Are you going ashore when we lay anchor?”
“Am I allowed?”
“I assume you’ll be allowed. You’re practically part of the crew. You’ve been aboard for nearly two weeks and you’ve pulled your fair share of the weight, if not moreso.”
“Why thank you, Lambert. I appreciate you noticing.”
“Of course, Jaskier. You may be an utter fool and a fop to boot, but at least you’re a hard worker.”
“Asshole.”
“Mhm.”
They both watched the dolphins for a minute in silence before Jaskier’s face split into the most heinous and dastardly grin. It filled Lambert with an unmistakable sense of fear and worry. “I have a brilliant idea. I know how to get Geralt to admit his feelings.”
in that last dragon jaskier au where he hoards his witchers and also witches and a princess, i got hit by an idea -
kaer morhen basically stands empty so jaskier starts collecting unwanted children. ones with magic or blind/deaf ones, seelie, sirens and so on. he basically drops them in kaer morhen and let's vesemir handle them but after some time, tissaia takes interest and finds a few bright magical minds
and so, slowly, year by year more children appear in kaer morhen to be taught magic or how to fight or even blacksmithing or potions, healing, other things. tissaia, yennefer and triss basically become teachers, along with vesemir and a few other older witchers.
there is life back in kaer morhen, the sound of children's laughter, shrieks and yells. wayward magic and potions being spilled, bruises from tumbles, scratches from stray cats.
jaskier, geralt and ciri visit often so that ciri can play with other children and jaskier spends his time playing and teaching kids how to sing.
then one day vesemir gets up and realizes that kaer morhen has never been so full of life and happiness, because there's no more pain, trails and brutal training. there are kids who grow up into amazing young adults and he gets to see them all flourish and become amazing.
he cries a bit.
and jaskier, curled up with geralt, purrs because he doesn't hoard things, he hoards hearts and now there are so many, their bears warming up the keep.
Geralt learning to accept Jaskiers affections is a slow and arduous process.
At first he writes it off as the bard just being a massive flirt, and then he writes it off as him just being sensitive to affection, that Jaskier isnt being unusual, Geralt is just touch starved.
And the lingering touches do last longer, and the laviscious comments become more suggestive, and Jaskier takes less strangers to bed.
Geralt convinces himself that Jaskier is just having a bit of a dry spell, and hes a desperate flirt and Geralt is just there, or perhaps hes gotten a bit sneakier with his exploits, whatever it is its certainly not because hes interested.
And then one terrible night, Geralt consideres that somehow, impossibly, Jaskier has seen into the darkest corners of his mind and found out about Geralts own affections and hes simply been teasing him this whole time and waiting till he reacted and-
no, no he thought, that would be silly, Jaskier is his friend (just his friend), he wouldnt do something like that, it would be terribly cruel.
And then the next day Jaskier confesses his love.
Geralt runs off and cries a little.
When Jaskier finds him its a terrible wet cheeked mess, Jaskier thinking Geralt was upset at him for his feelings and he had finally worked up the courage to start flirting with Geralt and it was such a mistake and he was sorry and-
and Geralt convinced Jaskier had been making fun of him this whole time and he was so confused and hurt why his closest friend would make fun of him like that when he knew how difficult emotions were for him and-
And it takes and embarrassingly long time to work it out and realize that oh wow he loves me back, but when they finally do Jaskier makes good on all of his earlier suggestive comments and Geralt realizes how stupid he was to not see that Jaskier had been flirting with him the whole time oh my god.
Geralt needs a very particular set of hands on his naked body. Professional hands that can make him groan and purr in all the right ways.
Get your mind out of the gutter - he needs a masseuse not a talented whore.
A Witcher's back is more scars and knots than back, but his most recent run-in with a werewolf had cut right through muscle that had healed wrong and now he could barely walk upright. Eskel couldn't bare to see his brother like this, but they both knew no masseuse from Kaer Morhen to the Skelligs will touch a witcher like that.
But there is one... A man in Oxenfurt with hands like magic who helps any and all. Doppler pulled his back? No problem. Elf twisted his ankle? Sure. Dwarf with a torn hamstring? Come on in.
Geralt keeps his hood up and head down as he let's the receptionist know he's here. She smells of caution, but not fear. She tells him to go ahead Master Julian is waiting for him.
Julian is turned away from the door as Geralt enters the room, the air thick with soothing incense and calming oils. He tells him to strip down and get on the table belly first.
Geralt silently complies, his senses heightened as he follows he man's presence in the room even as he closes his eyes.
Warm hands that smell of camomile smooth onto his back and pause. Geralt braces for the smell of fear but there's none. Instead...
"Oh there's enough scars here to feel like a roadmap of Novigrad! What you do big boy, dive into a pit of daggers?" He just clicks his tongue and Geralt feels oddly scolded. "You just tell me if any of them still hurts, ok? Meanwhile I'm going to war on these muscles because good Melitele's tassled tits more knots in here than a tapestry!"
Geralt is silent for a moment as the man does just that while singing softly to himself. Soon enough he feels parts of his back warm and loosen he hasn't felt in decades and the groans slip out without his consent.
Alternating between camomile oil, hot stones, and elderflower oil, the man truly seems to work magic. Magic that pulls more sounds from Geralt he never knew he could make.
He was so knocked out when the scent of nervousness and arousal hit him, and the heightened heartbeat of his saviour, it took him by surprise. Followed quickly by a clearing through and announcement that they are done for the day see you next week bye now, then the man left the room before Geralt could lift his head.
So it went for weeks. Each time Geralt felt more and more like a man of flesh and blood than steel and bone, feeling his body move in ways it had forgotten how.
Julian, or Jaskier as he prefers, was also growing on him. Took some time and patience but Geralt slowly started to respond to his questions and conversations and soon enough he looked forward to Jaskier's company almost as much as his hands.
It was just odd how the man seemed to avoid him. He would be busy with the candles and heating up oil when Geralt enters and leave immediately at the end. Always ending just as the scent of arousal started to mingle with the incense in the room.
Maybe he had been fooling himself and Jaskier was as scared and disgusted by him as anyone else.
"All right then!" Julian announced. "All done. Should have some aches for a day or so, just apply some ice and you'll be fine."
"Ice?" Geralt scoffed a little as he sat up, keeping the towel over his crotch watching the man's back as he purposefully busied himself at his work station. "One perk of looking like a freak is at least we heal fast. But thanks anyway."
"Freak?" He asked sounding genuinely so confused. "Freakish amount of scars but nothing else about you is off-putting. Believe me." The last bit was said soft enough human ears would've missed it.
"No need to play nice, Jaskier. I pay as everyone else does. I know what I am."
"And what you are is hot as hell, a voice like black velvet and whiskey, a body carved by the gods, a mind sharp as a blade, and a heart secretly soft as a comely barmaid's bosoms."
Before Geralt felt his chest clench in warmth he shook it off. Now Jaskier was just being cruel. "Don't. I dont need your empty words Jaskier. And you should know better than to try take a Witcher for a fool."
Jaskier paused. "Witcher?"
Geralt snarled and stood, uncaring of the falling cloth. "Stop playing dumb, Jaskier it doesn't suit you. And here I thought you were the one decent thing in this shithole city."
They stood in silence for a moment, Geralt's head down as Jaskier turned around.
"Look at me Geralt."
And he did. His voice catching when he saw eyes blue as sea but pupils downed in mist.
"I didn't know you were a witcher. And it makes no difference to what I think of you." Jaskier gave him a soft smile. "For you see Geralt.. I cannot."
Jaskier was blind.