four christmases
caunus & niobe
spent apart Â
( + two they spent together )
A business trip through Christmas wasn’t ideal, but when his father had offered a Caunus a spot at his side, the boy had jumped at the chance. He hadn’t been looking forward to the holiday; Danny was sure to pick a fight with him, Niobe sure to toe the line, and only one of those things was sure to be fun to watch. Serious and studious, Caunus was already a businessman in miniature at only sixteen. The trip was a reward for his good behaviour and the box he’d so ruthlessly fit himself into and a reprieve from what awaited him back in England.
Still, as he sat at the back of the boardroom listening to various voices drone on, Caunus couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to home and his siblings.
The stacks of paperwork seemed to have no end; as one grew short, another waited. There was no time for a break and certainly no time for Christmas. It was fine; it had never been his favourite holiday and part of him doubted they would notice his absence, really. The sun was long set when Caunus called for takeout, pouring himself a drink and allowing himself a breath for the first time all day. Picking up his cell phone, he dialed home.Â
They all sounded happy and lively, his mother and Pyramis doing most of the talking. His father chimed in a couple times and Niobe only once at their mother’s prompting. They hung up quickly and the silence of Caunus’s apartment was suddenly crushing as he turned back to his cold food and the work that would surely take him through to the sunrise.
After Niobe ran off with Corban, their mother had scrambled to put together any semblance of a Christmas for what was left of the family. Getting used to Danny’s empty place at the table had been one thing, no matter what else he had been feeling, there had always been relief mixed in. Still, seeing Niobe’s empty chair last Christmas had been different entirely. The whole thing had been subdued; he hadn’t been able to stop sneaking glances toward the place she’d usually sit.
This year, the tradition was to continue, maybe a little bit more normally than last year. Maybe they’d have an update on her, something more meaningful than whatever drivel he’d seen in the tabloids he’d scanned whenever he saw her name. They hadn’t spoken since she’d left; Caunus had written and deleted a dozen texts at least but hadn’t heard from his sister once either. He wouldn’t bother her if she didn’t want to talk to him.
Wrapping present was always slow as he strove for perfection, all crisp lines and sharp corners. The drone of the TV helped pass the time; the sports channel was certain not to draw his attention too much as distract from the task at hand. Hearing her name out loud jerked his attention away from the last gift and suddenly there she was, face in full concentration on the screen as the slow-mo replay of her most recent goal rolled in screen. He watched in awe, eyes fixed on the screen even after they had moved on to the next story.
Once the last gift was finished and piled with the others in the small box he was hauling to his parents’ house, Caunus pulled out his phone. A quick google search told him the date of Niobe’s next game and he quickly entered it into his calendar to remind himself before shoving the phone back in his pocket and all thoughts of soccer and sisters out of his mind.
The dinner, if it could be called that, had been quiet and tense, food ordered from some restaurant. It may have been Christmas, but it was hard to celebrate when one’s sister was possessed by a demon. The bad news had come hard and fast, one thing after another after another, starting with Corban and ending with this. Their parents had some plan or another; they had disappeared into his father’s study once their plates were cleared to talk in quiet, leaving Caunus alone with an abnormally quiet Pyramis.
It had been too strange to handle and Caunus had excuse himself quickly, sneaking away to a bathroom, cracking a window, and pulling out a cigarette from his pocket. He flicked the lighter once, twice, three times before it stayed lit long enough to catch the cigarette. It didn’t settle him; just made him think of Niobe and how she’d never known they had this in common. He stubbed it out, flicked it into the toilet and looked up at the night sky instead, stars and moon splashed across a cloudless sky.
Where was Niobe tonight? Was she somewhere under the same stars, staring up at the moon? Or could she see nothing at all? The thought was no better than the cigarette; he swung the window shut with a gentle bang and spared only one glance at the tired face in the mirror before he walked out, leaving smoke and regrets lingering behind him.
The children’s table was restless after dessert, but Caunus sat still, eyes wide and fixed on the bodies packed into the room. He couldn’t remember the name his father had told him of their host, but the room was packed with faces both strange and familiar. His mother had brought the three of them over to the other children herself, had tasked Caunus with keeping an eye on Niobe before making her way to her own seat. He was twelve, almost a teenager and more than old enough to sit with the adults, but he could deal with it for Niobe.Â
He could see his mother now across the room, little Pyramis in her arms as she stood by their father’s side. Niobe, sat beside him, looked uncomfortable in the little dress their mother had picked out, but he could see her scanning the room just like him, some gears whirling in her brain and cooking up something. She was the first one to stand up and the others followed like little dominoes falling, Danny too.
When they charged off, he had no choice but to follow, keeping watch of his sister as the children began to play. Off to the side he waited, eyes flickering back and forth from his siblings to his parents. He was torn, half wanting to join in the fun, half wanting to be a grown up—or grown up enough to draw his parents attention. He was still undecided when his father came to collect them, patting Caunus on the shoulder before scooping Niobe up to leave.
He didn’t see her leave the room. Their family Christmas was a little more packed now than it had been in previous years; there were enough bodies in the room now that one missing wasn’t immediately noticeable. Still, the moment he’d looked up and realized Niobe was nowhere to be seen, Caunus excused himself from the conversation and slipped out one of the doors, disappearing just as easily as his sister had. The first room he’d checked was empty, so too was the second. His third and final stop in the house was to get his coat.
The night was silent and still, snow drifting down slowly and melting on the ground, and there she was, sitting on the still dry steps. The smoke from her cigarette curled up into the cold winter air, tendrils of grey fading into the black and white. He sat wordlessly beside her and pulled the box from his pocket. She looked up then, mute surprise morphing into something that in the low light of the moon and the distant streetlight almost looked like a smile.
Lighter held out, she welcomed him. Holding it into the flame, he lit his own cigarette. How long they say there without making a sound, Caunus wasn’t sure. It was a comfortable silence, a far cry from the chasm that had once laid between them. Alone on the steps with his sister and a pair of cigarettes was the most peace he’d felt that night. Never in his life had he been the life of the party, certainly not with their family, but it had been years now since he’d felt alone in that.
Stubbing out the butt, he looked first up at the stars, then down at his hands, the ring glistening in the low light as he twisted it around his finger. Finally, he looked at Niobe, lighting up another cigarette and holding her lighter out to him once more. The party and the people surely missing them inside now could wait a bit longer.
“Merry Christmas, Niobe.”Â
