nothing left to me

addison yates • twenty-seven • surgical resident

[addisonxyates-blog]

islaxmoretti:

       “You haven’t been to Lucky 32? Girl, where’ve you been? We’ve gotta go there. And then I can introduce you to Jordan who definitely doesn’t get in on frozen food franchising.“ He’d probably kill her if she ever suggested it. “Pizza delivery it is. What pizza do you want?” Scrolling down the local delivery app on her phone, she simultaneously puffs up the pillow behind her head, hoping for more comfort. “Wait, you don’t remember your last meal? Girl, what have you been doing? —You need nutrients. I’m literally going to invite you for dinner and throw lunch at you every day from now on. I’m not a chef-worthy cook but, I don’t burn water either.”

       “Now, tell me the latest. What’s been happening?” 

“You forget that I never step out of the house unless it’s to go to work or I’m really desperately out of anything consumable at my place.” She hated those run ins that she seemed to have these days now that she actually step foot beyond her threshold. Only because it appeared she’d have to stay longer while her father’s treatment continued seeing as he wasn’t getting any better. “Right, yeah, I mean I know him. Just never had the food,” she clarified. Because while she considered for a moment not clarifying, then she worried if they did ever end up going to Lucky 32 and she was introduced to him, that would be far too awkward. “Depends, do you do pineapple or no?” Addison had never been all that picky with food and she hardly took the time to actually taste what she was eating. She laughed at the disapproval and what she’d call instant mothering that was going on. “So long as I don’t have to do anything. Because that’s more than me so in my eyes, you’re no less than Gordon Ramsey.” There was very little happening in her life which was how Addison preferred to keep it. Away from drama, away from anything related to this town. “Unless you want to hear about fractures, reconstructions and bones, I’m fresh out of the latest. I should be asking you this question.” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

jcrdanm:

                         He noted the lack of enthusiasm in her, but couldn’t hold hi chuckle either way. Still, it was soft and nearly audible, a soft grin forming as he nodded. “That’s true,” he agrees. “Which reminds me I’m not here for just shirts,” he adds, lazily gesturing t the few white button-ups in his basket. It always felt a little strange running into people from your past, but Jordan had always been the type to smile at seeing familiar faces. He didn’t take it to heart, though— whenever a person wasn’t as happy to see another. He figured it was a personal thing, and not really about him. Especially since the male was a rather neutral person, to begin with (at least, that’s what he told himself.) However, Jordan was now a bit unsure as to whether making conversation would ease the moment. After all, not everyone was into small talk. “I heard you were out of town for a while— did you just get back? Or is this town actually a bit bigger than it seems?”

It would have been a lot easier for her to try and express her distaste for running into people from her past if the person in front of her wasn’t Jordan. Having little to do with their relationship it had all the more to do with the fact that back then or now, he was just a really decent guy. So how could she be an icy bitch when he was just standing there with a smile as though he was the happiest to see her? And as such, the shield she usually constructed around herself didn’t work in this particular situation and so she was left not quite knowing how to talk without being cold and distant, leaving her mumbling awkwardly and smiling halfheartedly. “I didn’t realize you could shop here for shirts too.” Usually because she had complete tunnel vision, wanting to get in and out of stores as quickly as possible. Her hands fiddled with the handle of her own cart, and she shook her head. “No I’ve been back for a while. Just haven’t really had the time to get out of the house.” Was grocery shopping considered getting out of the house? “Work usually takes up a lot of my time.” And that too was by choice. “Uh, what’re you up to? Or have you been up to?” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

islaxmoretti:

       “Jordan Abernathy, sous chef at Lucky 32, best chef in Westport,” Isla retorted, a sly smile growing on her features as she waggles her brows before horizontally settling into the couch across from Addison. Throwing back the beer before lying down completely, she puffs up the pillows behind her and steals a glance at the brunette currently keeping her company, before directing her gaze to the app on her phone. “But, I’ll settle for any pizza right now. Pepperoni is calling my name. Should we order delivery? ‘Cause this ass ain’t going nowhere.” 

Right. How could she forget Jordan Abernathy. “Does he have his own frozen food franchise because otherwise I’d have no idea.” Because Addison did not go out, she did not cook at home. It was either delivery or it was pure processed crap that went into her body. Unhealthy given she was a doctor. Gladly accepting the beer, Addison made herself comfortable as though to indicate she too had no intention of getting up that night. “Whatever gets here the fastest. I am not picky and I don’t remember my last meal. Usually I can forget hunger off an adrenaline rush but sadly nothing is prompting that reaction right now. Unless you have something exciting that will shock me into it.”

[addisonxyates-blog]

liamxlocke:

Liam prided himself on being extra careful about most things, but particularly that day, his head was somewhere else. He only got to realize what was going on when he saw the car almost hitting him. “Fucking idiot…” The dark haired man spat, even though he knew well this was actually his fault. Getting a closer look at the driver’s seat, Liam recognized who the girl was, muttering shit under his breath. “What are the fucking odds, huh? Seems our last names attract car accidents.” It was inevitable to push away memories of his brother’s death when he was around his family, but from all people in Westport, Addison was the other victim he always tried to avoid to not get wrapped up. “I’m gonna be fine, you didn’t touch me. And your car seems alright too, not a single scratch. You okay?”

Really there had to be something that the universe had against her because thus far, she had been really good. She really had done a great job of holding her distaste for the town back, for keeping her cynicism and snark comments to herself. Yes she could be sarcastic and a bit closed off, but that was all she asked for. So why the hell was she faced with Liam Locke and that too, as the person she had almost just hit with her car? What kind of game was that? And as though to make it worse, to solidify what she was already thinking and trying to avoid, he cracked a joke. “And seems it’s always your fault.” An unfair statement given that he hadn’t even been in town when the accident happened. He only showed up after yet there she was, throwing the blame on anyone that she could find. Yes the anger would be far greater if she was faced with one of his siblings who was actually there on the night of the accident, but it didn’t save him from dealing with the repercussions of his sibling’s act. Between the Lockes and her father, her entire hatred was split equally for all of them. After all, Addison did not differentiate stranger from family in her anger. “Can I get that in writing? I don’t want a random insurance claim showing up one day that I caused all sorts of damage or hurt you severely or something.” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

danae-howard:

At the woman’s words she looked up at the woman who was now dancing on the table just next to them. She had a point but the girl was clearly having a good time and not hurting anyone so what did it really matter? “Probably not but she’s having fun,” she chuckled. 

Addison threw a look over her shoulder at the woman who was now actively dancing the entire routine in her drunken stupor. “That too, but I was talking about you.” Because now a drink was placed in front of the woman, courtesy of the person she had been waving to. And while she couldn’t exactly share such details, she knew that the individual was otherwise engaged, to say the least. But why should she bother to get involved?

[addisonxyates-blog]

jcrdanm:

                      Jordan had always been the kind of guy that recycled his clothes for years until it wore out on his own. Which makes today, no different. His taste in fashion was basic and comfortable, often leaning on his sisters to help with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when looking for a new shirt or pants by snapping a picture and sending it out to their group text. Today, Jordan was on a mission. He had –unfortunately– mixed his colors and whites, causing a heap of his white button downs to turn pink. A look the brunette didn’t mind, but no one ever really said that pink went with everything. So, standing in the middle an aisle, he’s glued to his phone as he begins reading his sister’s ‘yays’ and ‘nays’ about his choices. About to reply, the male stops when he hears a voice behind him, jumping slightly. “—Sorry,” he answers frantically, turning to face them. He pauses when his brown hues land on Addison, unable to help the wave of nostalgia hitting him like a ton of bricks. “Addy…” he calls her, a soft grin growing on his features. Despite their history, Jordan couldn’t help but feel happy to see her. They were close, after all. How could he not? “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he chuckles. 

It was never anything that she had against individual people. That was such a difficult concept to comprehend for some people. When she said that she did not wish to see anyone from her past, that was not because she had something against all of them. She just had shed all the relationships she had in this town save a few and the rest, Addison just preferred to leave as parts of the past that would never return. Was that really so much to ask for? Maybe she should have expected this when she moved back. And even if it was just the first month or so that she had been here, it might have been a more reasonable thought. Coming into close to a year and she still was claiming the same and it only could be questioned how long would she want to avoid people before accepting that her place in this town was more or less permanent for the near future. Even grocery shopping she couldn’t do without running into someone, this time that person being Jordan Abernathy. If she had to pick, of the people that she could have run into, he was probably on the more pleasant side. Did that mean she wanted to see him? Debatable. And that once more had nothing to do with him so much as her overall distaste for anyone or anything related to her life in Westport and her past. “Oh—hey,” Addson began, finding that she couldn’t outwardly shun the greeting since Jordan was too nice for her to even be able to justify that to herself. “Am I? I’ll ask in ten minutes, let’s see if you still think that.” A forced smile for the sake of being polite, not quite sure what more to say. “I’d say fancy seeing you here, but it’s  grocery store and everyone comes here, so.” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

erikabergen:

Once she heard about the disaster that struck at the Spring Gala, Erika felt relieved that she chose not to attend. There was tiny part of her though that kind of wished she could have witnessed an event as dramatic as this firsthand without getting involved, but watching it in the news was close enough.

She had some time before her next class of the day so she decided to waste time by taking a walk downtown. What else was she going to do? Catch up on assignments with due dates that were creeping in closer and closer? One more day of putting it off wouldn’t hurt.

Erika hadn’t been paying close attention to her surroundings, off in her own little world when she felt someone put their hand on her shoulder. Letting out a gasp she jumped as she turned to see who it was that had nearly given her a heart attack.“Fuck! You scared the hell out of me,” she groaned, pressing her hand against her chest before taking a deep breath. “What is it?”

Addison, though probably not the right thing to say, had told her boss that it was better for a few people to stay back. She had insisted that she would cover the shifts of everyone so long as she didn’t have to go to that stupid charity event. But no, it was all hands off deck for the night, and of course that was the one night that Westport had to see all its action. The hospital was crowded and busy and there were plenty of people she was looking after. She couldn’t complain since it gave her a lot to do and there hadn’t been anyone too seriously injured. And by that she meant no one had died. 

Waiting for the light to change, she watched as a woman appeared out of the corner of her eye. Clearly lost in her thoughts, she was not really paying attention to the fact that no one else around her was moving. Addison reached out before she could step into the now oncoming traffic. She was a jumpy one though and the hand that had been extended was immediately taken back. “The light. Traffic.”

[addisonxyates-blog]

@liamxlocke

After God only knows how many hours spent in between the OR and the ER, Addison was finally headed home. One of the benefits of being overworked of course was the fact that she didn’t have to worry about falling asleep. As soon as she hit the bed, there was no doubt that she was going to crash. Her eyes were scanning the surrounding areas for any place that she could get food quick since her fridge had to be restocked and grocery shopping was the bane of her existence. One of many. Eyes deviating from the road for only a second, when they were back her foot was slammed on the brake when she saw someone stepping off the curb to cross. Not even sure if it was her right of way or the other’s, she immediately got down. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” She had stepped on the brake quick enough but she wasn’t about to drive off. Looking up at the individual, Addison wondered what the chances were for such an event? “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she muttered under her breath.  

[addisonxyates-blog]

@islaxmoretti

“So I live off frozen pizzas and those Stouffer lasagnas. What do you have that can beat those culinary masterpieces?” Settling into the couch as though it were her own place, Addison was not one who liked to make herself all that comfortable with people, but her guard wasn’t up 24/7. Even she got tired and even she needed a break. Granted, she also had already consumed a little bit of alcohol that maybe was making her a bit more open for the night. “I have very high standards when it comes to my frozen meals.” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

danae-howard:

Danae was sitting by the bar at a table, a few drinks into the night and feeling the effects more than she cared to admit. But the only signs that she had drank copious amounts of alcohol was that she had a slight sway in her walk that she always said was her swaying to the beat. There was someone who was far more drunk than she was standing up on their table dancing as Danae and several others looked on, laughing away. It was then that she felt someone watching her and turned towards the source, sending them a little cheeky wave as she did. 

Somehow it felt as though she were a regular here, always just having a single drink or two before leaving. Most of the time she chose a seat far away from the rest of the crowd where she could drink in peace and then be on her way. Sadly that day did not pan out how she had hoped and she was sitting among people who were too drunk or too chipper. Both qualities she really hated. And to make it worse, someone started dancing and she wondered if they’d kick them out. After all, it was a nuisance to everyone else. Or maybe she was the only one who thought that way. Catching sight of the woman beside her, she shook her head to herself. “That hardly seems like a good idea.” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

@themaiaprescott

Was she running? Maybe she was. Maybe she was trying to escape the truth that was hanging over her head, like some sort of noose for her happiness. Granted what was her happiness that he had in California? Was it really that or had that emotion been buried along with her mother and her dreams years ago? Nonetheless, in her attempt to stop running, Addison was actually bothering to unpack and she had done something she had refused to do thus far. Invited someone over. There was barely anything for her to call it a home but somehow it felt like this was the most normal thing to do. And there were few people she had in her contacts that she’d actually have bothered to call, so there she was, sitting among boxes of clothes that had stayed unopened for months. No one could have said she’d been back for almost eight months, given the state of her apartment. The knock came and she spoke as she opened the door. “I’d say welcome, but it’s really a dumpster so I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

[addisonxyates-blog]

heathaldoretti:

A typical night for Heath ended up in a bar, surprisingly a place to unravel after working all day. He found the atmosphere and company to be the perfect equation to slow his mind to an ease before heading home. A strange habit that popped up during graduate school; a need to settle in some place outside his home or he’d never properly relax. The bar was a physical barrier between the mental worlds of work and home. His consistent presents slowly made him more recognizable in Westport’s few establishments; at the very least to bartenders but he had established connections with a few interesting people. Addison Yates being one of them. The hand reaching for his drink was unusual, but he made no moves to stop it. “I didn’t think you were a gin type of person.” The smile that broke his features added to the wave he gave the bartender for another. “I’ll take it you had a rough day?”

That she wasn’t. But at this point, she was not being picky. “I’m an anything that burns kind of person.” Seeing that he was already ordering himself another, she took the liberty of keeping his drink for herself as she settled into the seat beside him. It was no secret that Addison really hated this town and a lot of the people she grew up with. Of no fault of their own and rather because she just preferred forgetting her past and everyone around her felt like they were stuck in time, stuck back in her childhood and so at every turn, she was faced with some new reminder, some new memory. It had been one of those kinds of days for her. Not that she felt the need to divulge such information since the woman was far too good at pretending everything was alright. “Rough week, rough month, rough year. But who’s counting?” There was only a slight tug of her lips. “How’s it looking for you. Must be busy being the new superstar of town charged with cracking this case wide open.” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

@finnsta

Working at the hospital allowed Addison’s bad habit of running away from her problems to thrive. On the one hand she was able to bury herself in work to forget that she was in this godforsaken town and also ignore the fact that maybe she hadn’t forgotten everything about the past like she had been so convinced. It also allowed her to check in on her father without ever having to see him. How long had it been since she actually went and say her old man? Probably months because all the updates she needed were given to her in the hospital at the few moments of leisure she got to check them. Each time the hope was that she’d get good news so that she could feel like she’d fulfilled her duty and leave. “Hey,” she called out to the familiar face. “Mind if I sit?” 

[addisonxyates-blog]

asherprescott:

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised. Especially filled with drunken people in a bar this late.” Asher said, letting out a dry laugh before turning around to the source of the voice. “Wait, Addison?” Asher asked rhetorically, doing a double take on the female in front of her. It had been a while since she had seen her, and never did she think they’d be meeting in a bar. “How long have you been back?”

Unsurprisingly the town was full of families but this was one family that Addison felt she had a connection to on too many levels. So while with most, she didn’t bother with pleasantries, it was just impossible for her to not extend some sort of courtesy to the Prescotts. With what could only be called a forced smile, not artificial since she wasn’t trying to be facetious. Just she hadn’t really smiled in far too long her muscles seemed to have forgotten how to actually move up. “I don’t really know. It’s been a while.” But the first many months had been spent holed up, convincing herself that this wasn’t happening and that she was going to get out. 

[addisonxyates-blog]

@jcrdanm

Really Addison wanted as little to do as possible with most of the people in this town. Most meaning 99% and other than the unlucky few that she actually continued to speak to. Which was why it was really rare that she stepped out of the hospital or that she actually left the apartment she was temporarily staying. No moving back home, no getting a place for longer. And most would have figured after so many months, she’d have dropped the idea of getting the hell out of Westfport the first chance she got. But not Addison. She had always been adamant and this was no different.  “Do you mind?” She asked the man in front of her who she figured spaced out while shopping, or maybe her patience was just shitty to begin with, not really paying attention herself to who it was she was addressing.

[montygreen]

“What if I’m just broken?”

[addisonxyates-blog]

raleighxmonroe:

“I swear to you I just saw them take away that guy because he literally took about five of those little sandwiches and stuffed them in his mouth before grabbing a few more. I guess we’ll have to be careful in sneaking out some extras before this night is over. Like smuggling money in on The Wolf of Wall Street sneaky. You think you handle that?” 

“Well if they are going to torture me with this music I might as well get something out of it.” And there was only so much she could survive off TV dinners and 2-minute noodles. Not that she really intended to take these home as a meal. It was more a small act of rebellion since what else was she going to do? And maybe if she was lucky, they’d take her away too.