Adela lay on her unmade bed, Mauri curled up to her side, while she stared at the ceiling. Not even her cats, the animals she loved and cared for like her children, were able to shake her fro her stupor, instead just curling to her sides during random parts of the day and keeping her the slightest bit warm. Now that she thought about days, how long had it been since she had left her bed? Two days? She needed to get up. She needed to get up. But no matter how hard she tried, her arms and legs felt like lead, and the young girl couldn't bring herself to arise from her position. Ever since she got the letter, it had all come crushing down on her. Just about everyone she loved was gone. Vad left, Cristian died, Jacques wanted nothing to do with her, she hadn't seen Leopold and Agnes in months, she was being forced into an arranged marriage, and now this. Her best friend, her Felicia, dead. That damn virus had taken someone else that she loved, and now she was truly alone.
Everything had just gotten worse and worse, and no matter how hard she tried, old habits died hard. She had promised herself that it would never get as bad as it had when Cristian had died. She promised her big brothers, but mostly Vad, if she was honest, that she would never fall so hard again, and she had tried. Oh dear god had she tried, but she was so weak. So useless. The young girl felt and looked like hell. She barely ate, only sipping water and munching on things like crackers, if she could bring herself up to it. Once cherubic cheeks and eyes that were full of life were sallow and dead. You could see just about every bone in her body, and her eyes had sunken in. Her skin was dry and peeling, her hair dry and thinning, skin covered in scabs and new wounds. She just couldn't bring herself to do anything but hate. Hate the world, hate herself. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to be alone.
Adela closed her eyes and counted her breaths. One...two...three... four...five.... until she was able to literally drag herself out of bed, as if her body were a sack of potatoes, and clutch onto the nightstand. The girl took another shaky breath, and, keeping a hand on the wall, began to slowly creep towards the door. Thank god she had covered her window with curtains a long while ago; even her tiny lamp hurt her eyes, and she winced, holding on to the dresser and then the wall again as she stumbled towards her bathroom. She winced as her hip collided with the sink as she headed for the bathtub-shower. The girl slowly reached inside, turning on the water and, not bothering to take off her clothing, climbed inside.
The cold water hit her like a tidal wave, and she blearily looked down at her arms. Lord how se hated herself. She let out a scream and started rubbing at her arms, trying to get them off. I have to get these things off, these marks. I have to, I have to. All she could think of was this, and when it wasn't working, she felt herself crawl across the bathtub and reach for the blade sitting on top of the toilet. The girl didn't even think, she just cut over the marks, through the scabs and making new marks while at it. All she could see was red. The blonde let out another cry as she continued, her arm basically one gaping wound and the water turning crimson. There was so much red, so much... Addie felt her back give way, her upper body falling down like a piece of snapped rope, and her head hit the bottom of the tub. How strange, to feel so warm and so cold at the same time.
yousharknotpass
2087
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
