Because there are relatively few characters in Chinese (around 20k in a modern dictionary) compared to the number of words in other languages (100k+ in English), most characters carry many meanings. This leads to ambiguities if writing were to be fully composed from single-character words, which is why most words in modern Chinese are compounded from two or more characters, and the meaning is synthesized from the individual meanings. Here are some penis-relevant suffixes, in no particular order:
-物 thing
-器 organ/instrument
-根 root
-茎 stalk
-棒 stick
-柱 pillar
-具 implement
-刃 blade (ouch)
You’ll notice that these are all, well, things. This is one typical pattern for making a Chinese compound word: the second character describes the physicality in some way while the first describes an attribute (characters are flexible and can be either prefix or suffix depending on context). Here are some penis-relevant prefixes:
巨- huge (the opposite would be 微 for tiny, but it’s hard to find micropenises in erotica)
硬- hard
阴- yin
阳- yang
性- sex
那- that
玉- jade
肉- meat
凶- violent
男- male
Now we can create our own penis euphemism by mashing any two together. Here are some real quotes from explicit Jingsu fanfic (translations are kept literal here, but I almost always translate every euphemism to cock because it’s the English term I hate the least):
阳具 = yang implement
萧景琰的阳具大得惊人，比一般的乾阳还要大上几分，他曾笑说这是皇家威严，被梅长苏白了一眼 [x]
Xiao Jingyan’s yang implement was frighteningly large, even significantly larger than the average Alpha’s. He once joked that this was the might of the imperial bloodline, getting an eye roll from Mei Changsu.
凶刃 = violent blade
只是等到下一个清醒的瞬间，萧景琰已经将他的双腿分开。将那粗硬滚烫的凶刃抵上濡湿的穴口。《踏雪寻梅》
But the next instant he came to, Xiao Jingyan had already parted his legs. Pressed that thick, hard, and searing violent blade against his wet opening.
性器 = sex organ
萧景琰的囊口已经完全开了，里头两根性器探了出来，打在林殊大腿外侧 《四时歌》
Xiao Jingyan’s sac had fully opened, two sex organs emerging from inside and hitting against the outside of Lin Shu’s thigh.
肉棒 = meat stick
他一定不知道自己被黑布蒙住双眼，仰着头费力吞吐男人肉棒的模样有多……诱惑 [x]
He must not know how…seductive he looks, black cloth covering both eyes, tilting his head to strenuously swallow a man’s meat stick.
那物 = that thing
萧景琰也不再磨蹭，随手抓过床边的消毒啫喱，在自己的那物上涂了几下便抵在了长苏紧闭的穴口 [x]
Xiao Jingyan didn’t waste any more time either, grabbing the disinfectant gel conveniently by the bedside, applying it a few times on that thing of his then pressing it against Changsu’s tight opening.
The anatomical term for the penis is 阴茎 = yin stalk, the word that is the closest equivalent of penis. But why is the penis both a yin stalk and yang implement? Glad you asked. Yang is associated with the male and yin with the female, but the very concept of yin-yang is that there’s yin in yang and yang in yin (think of the symbol itself). The penis is a yin part because the privates are the most yin on the body. So you can think of it as either the thing of a yang being, or the yin thing on a yang being—the wonderful duality of the male member.
As you might expect, not all of the possible combinations are actually in use. Like, 阴棒 = yin stick isn’t a thing. Why not? I don’t know, it just isn’t. If you used it in context, readers would understand you mean penis and probably puzzle a bit over why you didn’t use the more common names.
Some of the combinations also mean other things. 凶器 = violent instrument actually means murder weapon in ordinary use. Can it be a penis euphemism during rough sex? Yes, but most of the time it means the real weapon. 那根 = that root is tricky because 根 is a classifier word (a similar concept to measure words in English) for long stick-like objects in addition to its meaning of root, so 那根 is almost always used in conjunction with other words, like that phallic [thing], as opposed to a penis on its own, which would probably be confusing to read. But when the character preceding 根 is something else, like 男- male, then it’s not being used in the classifier context, and 男根 = male root is indeed a penis.
Now that we’ve gotten the explanations out of the way, I searched through the corpus of Chinese Jingsu fics on my computer (around 1000+ fics) to look for all possible combinations of the prefixes and suffixes listed above, tossing out the compound words that don’t mean penis in context, to see what the most popular penises are. Behold the Jingsu compound penis matrix:
Congratulations to our winner, sex organ, and the distant runner-up, that thing. In contrast, the anatomical yin stalk is not very popular, kind of like how penis is not used as frequently as other terms in English erotica.
Okay, so now you have the power to create all kinds of penises. But what’s the correct penis to use in a particular situation? Jingsu smut is, of course, mostly ancient erotica (unless it’s a modern AU), so the tendency is to go for the more literary and euphemistic, and the way to do that is to be less physically descriptive. That thing is definitely more suited for delicate company than meat stick (though some authors happily use meat stick in their ancient settings anyways), and jade/yin/yang penises are also more literary. 玉茎 = jade stalk is, in fact, the traditional Chinese medicine term for the penis and also a literary term, in use for well over a thousand years.
萧景琰取了红帛将梅长苏的玉茎捆扎起来，被白肤衬起来耀眼得很。《梅烬》
Xiao Jingyan tied up Mei Changsu’s jade stalk with red silk, looking quite eye-catching against white skin.
Some more penises
It would be way oversimplifying things to say we’re done now when there are many more methods to form words and penises in Chinese besides our simple algorithm. Let’s first discuss some concepts with English analogs:
A lot of ancient cultures associated chickens with the male member, and we have cock in English. In Chinese, children call penises 小鸡鸡 = little chicken, kind of the equivalent of weewee. You would definitely not use it in a sexy story.
In English you could say he pushed himself inside, and you could say that in Chinese too, with 自己 = self. A relatively euphemistic term.
There’s also little [person’s name], so 小长苏 = xiao-Changsu and 小景琰 = xiao-Jingyan exist. And yes, so does 小小殊 = xiao-xiao-Shu, Lin Shu’s penis. This might be my least favorite one. These are not generally euphemisms you’d see in more…well-regarded erotica.
Okay, now onto the more uniquely Chinese penises. We have some more euphemistic ones:
那话儿 = those words, actually meaning that which we can’t speak of, and penis. 话儿 on its own just means words and remarks in general, but once you add that in the beginning, it becomes a whole other thing (though it can still mean those words in non-erotic contexts). This is one of the euphemisms found in the infamous erotic Ming Dynasty novel 金瓶梅 (Jīn Píng Méi), The Plum in the Golden Vase, so it has a storied history, though it isn’t used much in Jingsu smut at all. 不文之物 = uncivilized thing is also along these lines (之 here is a literary possessive particle). You can also put all kinds of adjectives before 之物 for a more customized penis.
Speaking of adjectives, one thing about Chinese very different from English is that parts of speech are fluid, especially in Classical Chinese where many characters are basically any part of speech. 火热 is fire + hot, but it can be both an adjective, fiery hot, that you stick in front of a penis, or a noun, fiery heat, that acts as a penis itself. So 火热之物, fiery hot thing, is a penis, and here’s an example where just fiery heat is the penis:
He paused slightly, then continued pushing inward. The passage is warm and tight inside, clinging onto his fiery heat as if they were two pieces made for each other, finally tessellating together and becoming whole in this moment.
We also have words with standard definitions that mean something else in erotica:
尘根 = dust root, which is actually a term in Buddhism that means one of the human senses rooting you to the mortal realm, often referred to as the realm of ephemeral dust (尘世). This is a creative allusion, because what else is a penis but a root that traps you in carnal desire and prevents you from reaching nirvana? Of course, whether it’s appropriate for use depends on whether you want to bring up mortality and the illusion of desire when your characters are getting it on. 孽根 = sinful root, or the more fun translation, root of evil, is also along these lines.
At this mere thought, Xiao Jingyan’s utterly untouched dust root trembled upwards, forming a stiff tent in his thin underclothes.
命根 = life root, meaning the source of vitality or reason for living, which is obviously the penis. This one does refer to penis in ordinary use as well, often humorously.
他的命根子给萧景琰含着，用力吮裹，几乎要把他的魂从身体里吸出来一样。[x]
His life root was held in Xiao Jingyan’s mouth and forcefully sucked, as if threatening to extract his soul from his body.
欲望 = desire. Very popular in erotica, not in the dictionary as a penis, and may confuse a first-time fic reader why an abstract concept is being shoved places.
Xiao Jingyan gripped Mei Changsu’s slender legs, letting him wrap around his own waist, and pressed his desire, nearly exploding with need, against that tiny opening, slowly pushing in.
分身 = split body, or where the body parts (and what you do with it to another body). Its usual meaning is to find time to do something else, and this meaning is only for erotica.
At this point, I should say that some of these may have been invented for erotica to get around censorship. The coined words often evolve to become part of the vocabulary of the in-group over time, such that even when there’s no need to censor, people instinctively use the vocabulary to signal, whether subconsciously or consciously, that they’re in the know.
Of course, just because a euphemism is popular, or of proper ancient lineage, doesn’t mean it will be subjectively to your taste. Jade stalk burns my eyes despite being a classic literary term, which probably says more about my Chinese than anything else; someone who’s really internalized this term and isn’t still on the literal level of understanding probably doesn’t mind it at all. Honestly, my original intention was to giggle a bit at all the euphemisms, but now that I’ve stared at them for a while, they all seem…okay to me (except xiao-xiao-Shu, that one can die). Not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.
A bonus last one very relevant to Jingsu, 龙根 = dragon root, just for His Majesty’s penis.
Xiao Jingyan’s dragon root was still buried inside him, his lower body slick and wet, a completely sorry mess, and the two nubs on his chest were being wantonly toyed with again—Mei Changsu really wished he could just pass out on the spot and be done with it.
Here’s a penis alignment chart that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a summary of our findings:
What if I don’t want to make penises?
As you’ve seen so far, Chinese is very good for euphemisms, and you can write the dirtiest smut without mentioning any parts once.
My favorite Jingsu sex euphemism is easily 梅开二度, literally plum blossoms bloom for the second time, which is an idiom meaning reaching the pinnacle again. It’s frequently used to describe a footballer scoring the second goal in a single match, someone finding new love after a failed relationship, or yes, orgasming for the second time in one night. But in the Jingsu context, it can also be literally read as…Mei Changsu “opens” for the second time.
I would write another post on euphemisms for other body parts and sex in general (including the inexplicably many sex puns in NiF canon names), but this euphemism is clearly the pinnacle, and I will not reach it again.
i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
What flavor of queer are you, if that's not too invasive of a question?
question is just fine with chuck it is kind of interesting story.
on LGBTQIA trot i am TECHNICALLY two letters
easy first one is B that does not need any more explanation. that has always been my trot
second way is what i have learned through talkin with my online buds way of non-dysphoric trans. it has taken chuck LONG time to understand this but it has been fruitful journey i think. long ago chuck would post online about becoming other people or things or concepts or wrestling with my IDENTITY as a buckaroo (whether that meant becoming sweet barbara or becoming my reverse twin or becoming the entire seahawks footballs team, very handsome). in fitting with my entire heckin LIFE some buds probably thought these were jokes when they were not at all. they were just personal artistic bubbles tumbling up and popping in ways i didnt understand yet.
but through posting these thoughts and THEN writing trans tinglers and talking to my trans buds online, i started to realize there are all kinds of versions of a trans identity INCLUDING the ones that rolled around deep inside of me that i never had a name for.
three events helped chuck understand this
first: the trans buds chuck talked to while researching harriet porber said 'well i always knew if i could press a button and change my body to match my gender i would instantly do this' and chuck thought 'of course woudlnt we all do this?' and they said 'well no, do you feel this way?' and i would say 'yes very strongly'. i will FOREVER be grateful to trans community for these conversations and maybe it is another reason why being anti-gatekeeping is so important to chuck.
second: thought about all the games i have ever played like a dang videogame or a role playing game, chuck would ALWAYS choose ladybuck character. didnt really think this was a unique thing at time but it is a pattern across whole life
third: chuck was trotting around with some buds and they all said 'whose bod would you choose if you could transform into any body?' (this is common topic for chuck believe it or not.) and the buckaroo guys went around naming the usual brats pitt or handsome channing and it got to chuck and i said 'obviously brie larson' and then the dang guys just kind of stared at chuck and then i realized 'oh, i didnt even think my answer was unusual but i guess they were only talkin guy bods'
these three things happened pretty close to one another but they were all bubbling up for decades and expressed in various ways even chuck did not entirely understand
anyway. chucks way is NOT that i feel uncomfortable in my body and it does not bring me grief. i am not upset about it honestly. i do not even THINK about it most days. however, it is all TRUE and in a purely technical and utilitarian sense of A PLUS B then YES, male would not be my preferred gender.
didnt talk on this for a while because there are MANY dysphoric trans buckaroos who go through a lot of hardships and i have gone through ABSOLUTELY NONE IN THIS WAY. it has not made my life more difficult and it does not haunt me, so i do not want to have my voice drown out other trans buds who need space to shout. i am very privileged so even though technically this applies to chuck i do not need or want any bonus points.
that beings said, part of my journey on the autistic spectrum was to recognize that EVEN THOUGH my personal story is not tragic, it is still an important one to get out there onto this timeline. IN FACT there should be more stories of buckaroos who love being autistic like chuck. i am PROUD of my trot and i love my autism (this is also why i wanted to explicitly say my lead character in camp damascus is autistic)
so in the same way, when directly asked, i will say: i am technically non-dysphoric trans ALSO this has not weighed on my life at all. my story is not tragic it is full of joy and excitement. i will not shy away from this because there are all kinds of buckaroos on this spectrum.
anyway that is my VERY LONG TROT hope you enjoyed getting to know chuck a little more thank you for this question buckaroo
Please do things to strengthen your attention span. It stresses me out so much when people just accept their small attention spans and cater to them without any acknowledgment that they are making it worse by doing that.
There is a reason attention spans are worse now and it didn’t just happen by chance. Media and the internet designed it that way and we went with it because it was easier.
Some of us with ADHD and brain fog need to meet ourselves where we’re at and exercise our attention span by watching a two minute video instead of a one minute video. Some of us need to sit down and read a novel with our phones turned off.
Wherever you’re at, just realize that not doing things that feel hard will keep making your attention span worse.
I translated Chapter 1 of the official MDZS English translation back into Chinese for fun, and here are my observations
I am not a professional translator. Please do not repost my translation to other sites, or distribute/use it for commercial purposes!
Opening notes
This is an unofficial EN to CN translation of Chapter 1 of 7S’ official EN translation of MDZS. The objective is to compare a second-degree CN translation of 7S’ translation against the original CN text, to determine if there are any changes in meaning arising from any potential discrepancies in the first-degree translation. More importantly, I wanted to challenge myself and have fun!
In the spirit of the exercise, I did not reference the original CN version during the translation process, only afterwards.
As far as possible, I’ve kept to the EN translation’s sentence structure in my translation, and used it as the source of truth.
I’ve deliberately kept to the correct terms in the original CN text for known character, place, and item names. Any consistencies with the original CN text are unplanned and incidental.
In the process, I tried to keep my use of a dictionary to a minimum.
Do note that my translation is localized to the region in which I was born and still live. While I am a native speaker (not a heritage one), my grasp of the language tends more towards conversational/business than classical.
My translation in simplified and traditional, and further notes below the cut!
转世投胎 pertains more to “reincarnation”, as represented in the English translation, than “rebirth”, as represented by 重生.
欢天喜地，魏无羡死了！(Original: 魏无羡死了。大快人心！)
I find that 欢天喜地 is possibly closer to “rejoice”, as represented in the English translation. On the other hand, 大快人心 carries more of an element of common relief and catharsis that is collectively experienced by a large group of people – in this case, the entire cultivation world.
乱葬岗之征还不到一天为止 (Original: 乱葬岗大围剿刚刚结束，未及第二日)
刚刚结束，未及第二日 literally means “(the siege of Luanzang Gang) had just ended, and before it could reach the next day”. However, the English translation represents this as “it hadn’t been a day since the Siege of the Burial Mound”, which implies that the siege may still have been ongoing while the news was spreading.
流浪修士 (Original: 山野散修)
The English translation represents this term as “rogue cultivators”.
还能是谁？不就是他师弟，江派小掌门江澄嘛？(Original: 还能是谁。他师弟小江宗主江澄呗)
The English translation represents the Jiang family as “Jiang sect”, instead of “Jiang clan”. As such, I chose 江派 per wuxia tradition.
Jiang Cheng’s title is represented as “sect leader” in the English translation, which is why I chose 掌门. In comparisoon, 宗主 is closer to “clan leader” in definition.
我得说：干得好。(Original: 我得说句公道话：杀得好。)
干得好 is closer to “well done”, as represented by the English translation. However, 杀得好 contains a killing element, as in “good kill”.
The English translation represents this description of Wei Wuxian’s birth as “a no-name street rat in the countryside”, which is why I went with the literal 乡下无名的流氓.
The English translation represents the last part of this sentence as “and almost doomed them to the same fate of extermination”. I went with a more colloquial slant with 差点儿把他们一共拖下水, so I definitely took some liberties with this one as well!
万万没想江澄竟然会宽容这小子如此肆无忌惮。(Original: 江澄居然就让这厮嚣张了这么久)
The English translation represents this reference to Wei Wuxian as “that guy”, so I went with 这小子. 厮 means “servant” or “subordinate”.
嚣张 means “arrogant”. The English translation represents this description of Wei Wuxian’s behaviour as “run amok”, which I interpreted to be 肆无忌惮.
否则他也没机会 more accurately translates to “otherwise he wouldn’t have had the chance”. The English translation represents this as “he wouldn’t have gotten the chance”, which I translated as 免得给他一次机会.
The English translation represents this as “childhood friendship”, which is why I chose 过往的童年友谊. To be precise, 同门同修 refers to the relationship between people studying under a common master or school (as Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had been), and 青梅竹马 carries a “childhood sweetheart” connotation to it.
The English translation represents what happens to Wei Wuxian as “backfire”, which is why I went with the more oblique 适得其反. 遭受反噬 has a much stronger connotation.
鬼将 literally means “ghost general(s)”. The English translation simply represents this as “ghosts”, so I went with 恶鬼.
撕咬蚕食而死 is a more dramatic turn of phrase than 支解吞噬, which I chose. The English translation represents this as “ripped apart and devoured”.
碎成了齑粉 is similarly a rather dramatic turn of phrase, compared to 嚼碎, which was what I chose. The English translation represents this as “chewed to pieces”.
这就叫罪有应得。(Original: 这就叫现世报。)
现世报 is closer to the English translation’s “karma”, compared to 罪有应得 “deserved”, that I chose.
最后，自己还是被它们咬死。自找！(Original: 最后咬死自己，活该！)
活该 is closer to the English translation’s “well deserved”, compared to 自找 “he had been asking for it”, that I chose.
忽然一阵静默 is closer to the English translation’s “there was suddenly silence”, compared to my choice of 众人默默无言, which includes an unnecessary mention of an actor or a group of actors.
顾忌 means “(having) worries or misgivings”. The English translation represents this as “wary of something”, which is why I chose 警惕 instead.
很嚣张很了不起 very loosely translates to “arrogant (in the context of attracting a lot of attention) and amazing (in the context of being superior to and looking down on others)”. The English translation represents this description of unorthodox arts as “glamorous”, which is why I went with 光彩.
所谓善恶必有报，人在做，天在看哦…(Original: 所谓善恶终有报，天道好轮回……)
This is perhaps my favourite discrepancy so far! The English translation represents this as “the heavens are watching”. In reality, 天道好轮回 more loosely means “according to the law of heaven, (there will be) rebirth”. In the spirit of the English translation’s “the heavens are watching”, I went with 人在做，天在看. Special thanks to my friend @llonkrebboj for the discussion on this!
魏无羡死后，人人对于他的品性再也无机辩驳。(Original: 身死之后，盖棺定论。)
The English translation represents this part as “judgment of his character was no longer refutable”, which is why I went with the relatively more colloquial 人人对于他的品性再也无机辩驳.
翻手为云覆手雨 means “turning (his palm) one way to get clouds, and turning it the other way to get rain”, which is a dramatic turn of phrase describing the measure of his legendary abilities. The English translation represents this as “turned the world upside down”, which is why I chose the more literal 翻天覆地.
终归有一日成为被翻覆的那一个 is closer to the English translation’s “there had at last come a day when he was the one overturned”, compared to the more figurative 日后还是终有回报 “eventually, what goes around will come around”, that I chose.
Some post-translation observations
In this chapter, MXTX perfectly balances dramatic poeticism against a collection of colloquial third-party perspectives to set the scene for the rest of the novel. It’s a brilliantly-written piece full of expressive turns of phrases, which effortlessly balances an elegant narrative against vernacular dialogue; a blending of rumor and hearsay with elements of truth. Due to the first degree of translation to EN, it wasn’t easy to reflect these nuances back into CN; at times I found myself falling short; i.e. using simpler phrases than in the original. On other occasions, I tended to more use purple prose than was necessary.
Regional differences matter! My translation ended up sounding way more modern and localized (to my regional context) than intended, in terms of word choice and sentence structure.
Standards (水平) and personal style matter! I'm a native speaker, but as my experience is more conversational than classical, I had a much easier time with the dialogue than with the exposition.
There were a couple of deviations in the EN translation that could have been artistic liberties. However, when reflected back into CN, the differences in meaning were fairly stark. It’s entirely possible, though, that the official EN translation team may have been referencing a different set of raws.
All in all, this was fun! Comparing my translation against the raws helped me realize how much nuance can be lost in translation, and the influence that things like our education, regional upbringing, etc have on individual translation styles. This exercise has helped me to gain a better understanding of the translation process, as well as a greater appreciation for fandom translators. There is no such thing as “one correct translation” — everything is relative to the translator and their relationship with the text. To this end, I believe the more translators set to work on a piece of text, the more we can learn from each other, and the more people reading the varying translations would benefit from the experience. To all my friends who are fandom translators, 在此敬你一杯！🥃
hey, I heard y’all like evil biology facts like knowledge about horse blood types.
well! today I was researching alternative biochemistries extraterrestrial life could use and. man. I think Earth life is fucked up enough for me thanks
biological dark matter. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY BLOOD HAS DNA IN IT FROM NO KNOWN SOURCE. YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT COME BACK HERE
One specific cave that has been sealed for 5.5 million years and has developed an ecosystem completely dependent on chemosynthetic bacteria.
Was anybody going to tell me that bacteria have decided iron is yummy and are eating the Titanic, or was I supposed to just read that myself
Terrible Berry (yes, that’s what the genus name means). This whole thing is so fucked up. These scientists were testing whether radiation could be used to kill pathogens in food, so they dosed a tin of meat with enough radiation to kill any known living organism (as one does) but guess what, it still fucking spoiled because of THIS BASTARD FUCKER.
(seriously, why is it like this? WHY has a bacterium evolved to chill in radioactive waste like it’s a soothing Jacuzzi tub? What does it know that we don’t know?)
(ANSWERS. I WANT ANSWERS, YOU CHERNOBYL ASS BITCH.)
Cursed worm, which has no mouth or digestive system and depends entirely on five (5) different species of bacteria, which consume hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen monoxide, and carbon monoxide, for food. How do you, a worm, even...figure out how to do...all that?
Bone worms. At least they like their bones already dead. I still could have gone without knowing this was a thing.
“Oh, parasitic plant, that sounds c—WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING”
I am like half convinced this is made up. Seriously, bacteria grow their own electrical wires and we just let them?
Imagine watching a movie about loneliness and new beginnings and the flaws of capitalism and going “wow i can’t believe this main character didn’t just put in the effort to repair the status quo” — the POINT of the MOVIE is that the Wall-E’s failed and were destined to fail because the corporations that built them chose to give up and abandon them (+ earth) so they could trap humanity in an inescapable monopoly. All of the Wall-E’s except ours are past any repair and must be past repair because they are a visual representation of the utterly failed previous system. FUCK you.
What actually makes me sad is knowing that there are places like Sweden that begin teaching sex ed from kindergarten, and one of the first lessons they learn is about consent.
Of course consent needs to be taught. It just needs to be taught much, much earlier.
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