Peter being absolutely petrified when he's going to ask his long time crush, and best friend, to be his date to prom. Like mumbling and stumbling and overthinking flowers to the point, that the cashier in the boutique takes pity on him❤
Peter had had many crazy, ridiculous, outlandish ideas, but this was one to top the cake. He was asking you to be his date to prom. You’d been his best friend for years, and he’d had a crush on you for nearly as long. Even though MJ said that you felt the same way, it was hard for him to believe, so this was a complete shot in the dark. It was totally possible that this would be completely humiliating and could ruin everything, but he figured the slim chance you might feel the same way could make it worth it. So, here he was, at the flower shop, searching for the perfect bunch of flowers to get you.
He knew your favorite kind of flowers, but he had forgotten the name, so he’d been wandering around the store looking for the flowers he’d recognize in a heartbeat. Peter’s cheeks flushed as he became flustered, unable to find the flowers he was looking for, “Fuck, why can’t I find them?” Maybe this was a sign that this was a bad idea.
The owner of the small shop had taken notice of Peter’s flustered state and made her way over to him, “Can I help you find something, hon?”
“I’m just... I’m looking for, uhhh, I can’t remember the name of the specific kind of flowers I’m looking for. They- they’re for asking the person I like to prom. I know what the flowers look like, but I don’t know the name, and now I’m scared I’m going to ruin everything and—“
“Why don’t you describe the flowers, and I’ll help you find them? We can make her a bouquet, alright?”
Peter left the store not ten minutes later with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers in his hand. It was mostly your favorite flower, and a few others the owner had helped him pick out to go with. She’d also let him take them “on the house,” which was slightly embarrassing, but was greatly appreciated since Peter also wanted to take you to dinner and needed to save up for that, too (if you said yes, of course).
Worried that if he waited any longer, he’d chicken out, Peter made his way over to your place to ask you to go to the dance with him. He felt hot, his hands shaking as he knocked on your front door, anxiously waiting for you to open it.
After only a few moments, the front door swung open, revealing you a surprised look on your face as you realized who it was, “Oh! Peter! What are you doing here?”
“Well, I— I, um, was just wondering— I had a question for you,” he stuttered, tripping over his words. He nearly dropped the bouquet of flowers out of nervousness as he talked, causing you to notice them, plucking them from his hands.
“What’s the question, Pete?” you asked as you glanced over the bouquet, “These are so pretty! Did you get them for May? They’re my favorite flower, ya know.”
A bright pink flooded Peter’s cheeks, “I know, that’s why I got them. I actually... I got them for you, Y/N.”
“Me?” This time it was your turn to feel hot as you glanced up from the flowers to your best friend, cheeks burning. What did it mean that Peter was buying you flowers? “Why did you—“
Peter scratched the back of his neck nervously, eyes drifting down to his feet before looking back up to you, “Would you go to prom with me? You don’t have to say yes, I don’t know if you already have a date, but I really like you, and—“
You cut Peter off again, a huge smile breaking out on your face, “I’d love to!”
This shocked Peter, his jaw dropping slightly as he processed what you were saying, “Wait, really?”
“Of course, Pete. I like you, too, ya know. Like a lot. I’d love to be your date, for even longer than just prom, if you wanted.”
Hi, love! I hope you recovered well from your heath issue... I jsut came to say that i have just discovered under renovation and it is just amazing! The plot is amazing your writting is perfect! I'm completly hooked on it. If you have a tag list could you add me under @minejungwoo ? ❤❤❤
Thank you so much! I'm showly getting better <3 Of course I'll add you☀️
Warning: Implications of smut, Angst (Would it be me if there wasn’t any angst?)
Word Count: 3000+
A/N: So, I almost died (from some health stuff) and needed to just... recenter. But I should be back now! And I’m so excited to continue this story! So many plans! Ahh
Series Masterlist
You were still reeling from your earlier conversation with Dan. All kinds of weird thoughts going through your mind. How was Tom going to react when he found the pictures? Would he call when he found them? It has been two months, so he’s probably already found them, and he hasn’t called. Does he not care about all your memories? One thought after the other, poking through while you get ready. You’re stood in front of the mirror, looking at yourself as you tousle your hair to get it just right. You’re clad in a simple pale blue dress, and you feel pretty good - considering that you’re going on a weird version of a date.
It’s just Mena, you remind yourself as you take one last look in the mirror before heading out the door. You and Mena decided to meet there, as to not make it all too dramatic. Your uber is waiting for you as you get out, and you feel the driver quickly giving you a onceover, but you try to shake it off.
It is a strange sensation. The thought of your ex having a box of all the memories you hold dear. Tom knew about most of the pictures in the box, but not even near all of them. There were a ton of candids, where none of you had been aware that you were being photographed, but also just ones that you had taken of Tom when he was too busy to notice. There was one in particular, that you really really hope he doesn’t think too much about. It’s of him, standing in front of a greenscreen. It’s his last day on set of the movie you both auditioned for way back when. The both of you had gotten the parts, and while you had already wrapped your last scene, you stayed to support him. You took that photo when he was just standing there talking to the director, so full of life and excitement to be living his dream, and you had fallen in love with him. You had only known eachother for a couple of months, but that moment had made you so sure that you wanted to be more than just his best friend.
“Ms. y/l/n, we’re here.” The driver says, a little louder than expected. You must have been lost in thought. You quickly pay the driver before getting out and glancing up at the restaurant. It’s a cute little hole-in-the-wall place, and it oozes romance. You’re not quite sure what you expected, but this is beautiful, and very quickly gets you in the spirit.
You let all thoughts of Tom vanish with the clicks of your heels as you approach the reception, where you’re then directed towards a table right in front of one of the huge bay windows, where Mena is already sat, waiting for you. His black suit is crisp and fits him just right, and to be honest, you’re a little taken aback at how handsome your friend is. He could be spending his night with any girl, but instead he’s here, being your comfort/rebound date.
You feel a smile settle on your lips as he stands up and pulls your chair out for you, for which you quickly thank him. Before you know it, the small talk is flowing freely, and you let yourself relax in your seat. A date, that you were expecting to be quite awkward is actually going better than most dates you had been on. Still not better than your first date with Tom, but he had a very unfair advantage on that date. You were in love with him already. But! Now is not the time to be thinking of Tom, so you quickly brush the thought of him aside, as Mena reaches for your hand on the table.
“I know this must be strange for you y/n. I mean, it sure as hell is strange for me,” he chuckles, and you squeeze his hand a little. “But, just try to relax, I mean.. Use me as your rebound, I’m completely okay with it. No boundaries, and we’ll go back to being just friends when we wake up tomorrow, I promise.” You feel a lump form in your throat, as you see how sincere he’s being. And you have to wonder what exactly he means by no boundaries. Is he talking about having a one-night stand with a friend? Wouldn’t that just make things weird on set? Or maybe it’s exactly what you need to stop thinking about Tom. But no, you can’t do that.. There’s a line, and sleeping with Mena would be crossing that line, a million times over.
“I know, but I should be doing the same for you, right?” You draw your hand back from him again, using it to tuck your hair behind your ear, and trying to focus back on your food. The smalltalk continues, and the restaurant buzzes around you, customers coming in and out, waiters bustling around you with trays filled with delicious food, and the candlelit atmosphere makes looking into Mena’s eyes just that much more relaxing, and dare you say it, romantic.
It’s only when the both of you have finished your dessert, that you realize that you’ve now occupied the table for four hours. With a small laugh, you pay the bill, and Mena offers you his arm as you walk out of the restaurant.
“Is it just me, or does this feel way more like a real date than most?” He asks, smirking as he saves you from tripping over a hole in the pavement.
“It’s not just you.” You concede, smiling as you glance down at the ground, where your black heels are blending in with the road. “So, what now?”
“Now? Now we head downtown. I have something I want to show you,” he beams at you, offering you his arm to grab, and you oblige giggling silently to yourself. The two of you opt for walking, none of you being exactly fond of getting into a warm, humid uber at the moment. So you walk, and you talk, and you know that there’s a time limit on this night, but you can’t find it in you to care. You’re here, having fun, and suddenly you hear low beats of music as you approach a part of town that you have never even heard of.
Mena drags you along a grin playing on his lips, and the music grows louder, more energetic and soon you’re walking into what looks like a tiny town square. Bright yellow lights envelop the square, lighting up the many bodies that are moving around the square, perfectly on beat to the booming music. Some are moving in perfect sync with each other, obviously having practiced their dance, others are more free, freestyling with others cheering them on. In the middle, there’s the picture of a classic dance battle. A circle of jumping and cheering people, all cheering on the two contestants in the middle.
The entire atmosphere makes you giddy, and you can’t help but let out a laugh as Mena pushes you towards the front of the circle. As you get to the front you feel the energy buzz through you. You end up next to two girls, who immediately welcome you by complimenting you on your outfit. One girl grabs your hand excitedly, throwing it up in the air, basically forcing you to join in on their dancing, and you do so happily. When you glance back to Mena, you see him standing there, eyes shining and he’s chuckling at the sight of you.
You don’t have to make an effort, you simply just loose yourself in the dance with the two girls, and it feels like when you first started dancing. You can almost feel your heart physically glowing from the joy you’re feeling in that moment. This. This is why you love what you do. This is exactly why you felt lost before. This was what had been missing. So you continue, ignoring the ache in your feet, that are sure to be bruised from dancing in the middle of a cobbled square in stillettos.
For what feels like hours, you and Mena stay there; laughing and dancing, your hearts full. The lights, the dancing, the music and the buzzing energy makes it all feel like magic, so when you finally decide to head home it feels like the happy glow follows you. So as you’re walking down the street, back towards a main road where you can get an uber to come pick you up, you can’t help but relish in the feeling of Mena’s palm pressing against your own. You’re not drunk, but you feel tipsy as you giggle at his jokes, and fiddle with the hem of your dress. It’s almost like the magical feeling is making the two of you forget that it isn’t actually a real date, and that you have to go back to being friends in the morning.
Before you know it, the uber has parked outside of Mena’s apartment building. He’s only here to film this movie, and he decided to rent instead of staying in a hotel. Without even thinking about it, you accept his hand as he helps you out of the car, and you feel a little lost in a dreamy dace, as the two of you jog up the stairs, laughing and fooling around every chance you get.
When you’re finally stood in front of his door, you hear a small voice in the back of your mind, reminding you that he’s just your friend. But something in the atmosphere makes you push it aside, and instead you place your arms gently around Mena’s neck, while his hands find your hips, and suddenly you’re kissing.
He fumbles with the lock on his door while his lips press against yours, and you giggle against him when he lets out a frustrated groan when he can’t get the damn door open.
The sounds coming from the two of you are borderline pornographic as you finally get inside, and scurry towards his bedroom. His hands make quick work of the zipper in the back of your dress, and before long both his blazer and button-down are off. Reality only really sets in, when you’re lying in Mena’s bed, in nothing but your underwear and your heels, and he’s standing between your legs, lust making his eyes look about as black as the sky outside, in only his slacks.
“For tonight?” He asks, clearly giving you an out, but before your mind can start to conjure up all the reasons why this is a bad idea, you stand up again, catching his jawline between your lips to which he moans and reaches his hands behind you to grab a hold of your ass.
“For tonight.” You manage to agree, before he pushes you down onto the bed.
:)-(:
“That’s one hell of a walk of shame,” Dan laughs when you walk into your livingroom. Your pale blue dress is wrinkled, your heels are in your hand and your makeup is messed up, and you’re wishing for dear life that no one saw you do said walk of shame. “Something you want to talk about?” He winks at you, and you groan, throwing one of your heels at him.
“I’m gonna take a shower, and then Danny-boy. You’re gonna help me with an ad I have to do for Instagram.” He laughs at your tired voice, but there’s also that special glint in his eyes that tells you he’s proud of you.
You jog up the stairs, headed for your master suite, extremely ready to take a shower. Your feet are killing you from the dancing, your hair feels greasy, and if you need to continue thinking of Mena as only a friend, you need to wash the smell of sex off of you - immediately.
As soon as you get out of the shower you grab your phone, trying to find the mail specifying what you needed to do for the ad. Instead you see that your Twitter is overflowing with mentions, and your stomach sinks.
Someone saw you.
It has to be. Why else would your social media be blowing up?
You breathe in deeply, readying yourself for all the mixed reactions, and finally open up Twitter. And sure enough, there are pictures of you, walking out of Mena’s building, in all your shameful glory. With a sigh you scroll down to the comments. You know you really shoulnd’t bother reading them, but you also have a nagging feeling that if you don’t, you won’t stop thinking about it all day.
“Whhhaaaat? Does this mean they’re together now?”
“ugh, this is probably just to promote their movie. smh”
“Does this mean that we were wrong about Tom and y/n being a thing? I mean, now it’s both of them”
“Nooooooo! My y/s/n heart!”
“I didn’t know I needed this until we got it! Yes! Mena and y/n seem amazing together!”
“@TomHolland1996 posted a screenshot of this on his Insta story, and I wanted to come see everyone’s reaction. I can’t believe this. #y/s/n isn’t canon guys :’(“
Tom posted a screenshot of a newsarticle, about your walk of shame.. Tom posted about your walk of shame.
Before you can even rethink your decision, you’re on Instagram, clickling on his story. And sure enough, there’s the article about you. Below it he’s done nothing more than add the broken heart-emoji, and despite how much you want to believe you’re over him, you feel your heart shatter a little too.
Tom now knows he isn’t the last guy you kissed, that he isn’t the last guy you slept with. And in exactly that moment, you feel your heart sink into the pit of your stomach.
Tom isn’t the last guy you slept with, or kissed. It feels a little like you’ve now lost the last piece of him you had.
Everything flashes before you now, all the happy kisses, on cheeks, foreheads, noses, necks, hands, lips. Every hug, that was either just because you wanted to feel safe, and the best place for that was in his arms, or because you needed comfort and he was always there to provide. Everything flashed before you, and you wanted it to. You don’t want to lose him. He had been your heart and soul for three years, and sleeping with Mena made you feel like you threw all that away for a one night-stand.
You didn’t, and you know that. But you gave up. You had a rebound, and the only thing it did for you, was make you realize just how much you don’t want to give up Tom.
With heaving breaths you sink down into your bed, the sobs bubbling up from a place that feels too painful to think about. The tears are streaming, and you can barely breathe. You gave him up. For what? A night where you could forget about him?
You thought of Tom as the love of your life. You still do. You’re still so sure he’s the love of your life. And yet here you are, still feeling another mans hands running over your body, another mans lips on yours and remembering another pair of brown eyes staring into yours over a candlelit dinner.
The world feels like it’s crumbling around you, and you feel both weakness and anger coiling up inside you. It has been two months, and here you are, yet again, crying because he’s no longer there with you. How the hell did he manage to get a grip that tight on your heart? And why can’t you just get over him?
Why do you have to care that he knows about you and Mena?
And why the hell did he post the article on his story?
You can’t function right now, so you let your phone fall from your hand onto the duvet beside you, and curl into yourself.
After a while your breathing becomes slower and more controlled, but the sobs are still racking through you, and the silky pillowcase is soaked from your tears. Fuck, you miss him so much, but everytime you close your eyes now, to remember your last kiss with Tom, Mena pops up, and you hate it.
There’s a soft knock on the door.
“Hey, I just saw his story. Do you wanna talk about it?” Your back is turned to the door where Dan is now standing, but you can imagine his hand fumbling on the back of his neck, and his eyes darting around the room, really just not knowing what to do.
And what do you do, when your best friend is suffering because of a mess of her own creation? What do you even say to a person, who feels like they just gave up on love?
You don’t answer him - you can’t. Do you wanna talk about it? Not really, but at the same time, it would be nice to make these feelings make sense. Because they don’t.
You really thought you were getting over him. Truly, you did. But here you are, once again; crying and wanting nothing more than for Tom to show up, hold you and tell you everything’s gonna be fine, and that he’s there by your side, always. He isn’t here though.
Another sob racks through you, and you feel your bed dip behind you as Dan gets in. He places a hand between your shoulderblades, rubbing soothing circles with his fingers.
“I know that whatever is going through your mind right now is probably a mess. So I’m gonna stay right here with you until you figure out where to start, and then we’ll work through it, okay?”
You don’t need to answer him - you just curl further into yourself, pressing your eyes so tighlty shut that it almost hurts. Maybe that will make the images of Mena stop popping up in front of Tom.
You made a mistake - and you’re not even sure why you ever thought it was a good idea to begin with.
What’s he thinking? Is he as confused as you? Does he care as much as you do? Is he wishing that he had his best friend to talk this through with? ‘Cause you sure as hell are. Is he regretting what he did?
You’re not over him yet - that much is clear. At the same time, this truly feels like the end.
Warning: Actually not a whole lot? Actual fluff?? (Is that even possible?)
Word Count: 3000+
A/N: I know it’s been long! I’m so sorry! School got in the way with lots of tests because of everything going on, and mild writers block and yeah... But it’s here! Also, let me know if a Tom’s POV chapter is wanted! <3
Series Masterlist
Chapter 5:
It’s always seemed weird to you how time always seems to move quicker when you don’t really want it to. It had been two months now, since your breakup with Tom, seven weeks since you moved to the states, and yet time had gone by so fast it barely felt like any had passed at all. Your last seven weeks had been scheduled down to the minute. The producers had assigned you an assistant, Jessica, who brought you your meals right on time, made sure a car was always ready to take you to your next location and so on. You hadn’t really had a moment to yourself. You would wake up in the morning to go train with a personal trainer to get in proper shape for the movie, after that you barely had time to shower and eat breakfast before you had to go practice new choreographies with Mena for a couple hours, after that it was meetings and readings and all the other things that kind of just melts together in your brain. Fortunately filming starts tomorrow, and it’s been a while since you’ve been this excited for a project.
Not today though, today you actually have a day off for just yourself, and hopefully some time with Dan. He had been quite busy too, having gotten a job as an assistant photographer at some fancy magazine you couldn’t really remember the name of.
Life had kept you busy, and you can’t figure out whether you’re grateful or annoyed. It’s not that you don’t like being busy. You are back to dancing every day, getting back in shape and in general just feeling better and better and more like yourself for every day that passes. At the same time, it’s weird to think that it’s already been so long since you left your life in London behind. You haven’t seen Tom in two months, and the fact that you’re slowly becoming okay with that fact freaks you out, just a tiny bit.
It’s always hard to explain how one processes a breakup. Easily is not a good word to describe it, but you had just slowly begun to think less and less about him. Your life had kind of just taken over, and the spaces that would usually have been reserved for him had been filled by something else. Weekly date nights or phone calls had turned to going out with Ashley and Chrissy. Dancing in the kitchen at 3 am had turned to dancing in the studio with Mena and so on and so forth. Life just kind of seemed to move on without him.
Strangely, you weren’t really sad anymore so much as confused. You still had no idea why he broke up with you, of course there was that girl people now suspected was his girlfriend, but that would make no sense considering he tried to kiss you. But you can’t really do anything about that confusion. Of course, you could reach out to him and ask him why, but life seemed calm now, the nights really being the only time you had time to think about him, and he is very much still in your dreams, but life was still. Reaching out to him would be like removing the cast way before the bone is set again or packing up the puzzle with pieces still not placed.
When you had called him, he had tried to say something, but you had hung up. A part of you kind of hoped that he would try harder to reach you. Somewhere deep inside you wanted him to chase you, but you also knew that wasn’t going to happen. You don’t chase someone you broke up with.
But despite the confusion, you’ve begun thinking about him in a different light again. Despite the heartache, he was with you through the most transformative years of your life, played a huge role in who you are today and the way you view love and relationships. Despite the pain you’ve felt these last two months, you not only still love him, but also all the memories you have involving him.
You’re sitting on the edge of your bed, looking out of the large windows that cover the entire wall, just watching the place you now call home. Dan is downstairs cooking up his famous pancakes, but you can’t quite bring yourself to go down there yet. You lie back down on the bed, closing your eyes and just feeling the comforter welcome you.
:)-(:
~Three years ago~
“That is literally so cliché!” Tom exclaims loudly as he points to the people on screen. “That would so never happen in real life.” He runs a frustrated hand over his face, before brushing his hair back, and you swallow a thick lump in your throat at the sight of his muscles slowly flexing and relaxing under his shirt, and his luscious curls that swallow his fingers and god you want to run your fingers through his hair in a much less innocent way.
“You don’t believe in clichés?” You ask, chuckling when he turns to you with furrowed brows and puckered lips. “You are literally a walking cliché, mate.” You can’t help it, so you reach over and mess up his hair, noticing the way his brown eyes stay on your face, watching the small smile on your lips.
“What are you on about?” He smirks now, and you hum before letting your hand fall to his bicep, resting it there, because you really just can’t help yourself. The tight white t-shirt and his low-hanging sweatpants and perfect pinkish lips, and oh god... You’re staring. You let your hand fall back down into your lap.
“You’re literally the world’s golden boy, Tom. Everyone adores you, every single girl on this planet would run naked down Oxford street if that meant just a chance at meeting you.” With a sigh you scoot a bit closer to him, almost sitting impossibly close now. You breathe out, watching a thoughtful look settle on his beautiful face. There is no chance in hell you would ever admit it, but you would probably run naked down Oxford Street for him to even think of you as something different than just his best friend.
“Right, and how many guys do you have thirsting over you every day?” He winks at you, and you’re suddenly sitting too close to him, a space much too intimate for you and him, and there’s a line. A line that’s keeping you from what you truly want, but also one that’s keeping you from losing someone you barely know if you can live without - and now you’re scooting back away from him.
“You know how many of my mates have asked me to set them up with you? I’m your first line of defense against those tossers, you should be thankful.” He chuckles and grabs your waist to prevent you from removing yourself from him any further.
“Thank you? What if I wanted a guy in my life? What if you’re the reason I’m gonna end up as an old maid?” A surprised squeal leaves you when you feel Tom’s fingers beginning to tickle your sides. “Don’t you dare” you warn, but the huge grin on his face softens you up. Big mistake.
“You don’t need any guy, y/n. And if you need someone to reach the higher shelves, I’m here.” He looks at you intently, his hands slowly making their way down and up under your shirt to settle on your waist again. This is a very dangerous game. The heat from his hands is spreading all throughout your body, to places he probably wasn’t intending to reach, but here you are, flexing your thighs slightly to resist clenching them together. Falling for your best friend was the worst idea you had ever had.
“Like you could ever reach that high,” It’s your turn to wink at him, and a blush bursts out on his cheeks before he starts moving his fingers against your sides again, forcing you to lay down on the couch, in an effort to get away from his skillful fingers.
Your entire body is bubbling with laughter as tears begin to make their way down your flushed cheeks. Your soft grey sweater has ridden up to just under your bra, and Tom’s soft fingers brush against your sides mercilessly while he hovers above you, a huge grin plastered on his beautiful face.
It’s a typical movie night. You, Tom and Harrison had scheduled movie nights every last Friday in the month. When you had told your friend Marie about it, she had warned you that your crush on Tom wouldn’t go away if you kept snuggling into him all the time, and while you knew she was right, you also couldn’t help but crave the safe feeling that came from being tucked under his arm and against his chest. The amount of times you had fallen asleep on him was getting ridiculous at this point, but he didn’t seem to mind so you kept on. In truth, it was breaking your heart, to know that one day he would get in a relationship with someone that wasn’t you, and it wouldn’t be acceptable for you to cuddle with someone’s boyfriend.
Your laughter halts when Tom’s fingers stop moving. He glances down at you, a smirk playing on his lips before he nods his head in the direction of the TV, where a couple is making out, heavily. With a squeak you reach your hands up to cover your eyes, thankful that Harrison is in the bathroom so he can’t tease you about the very compromising position you are currently in, along with the heavy breathing and moaning from the movie.
“Oh god, make them stop!” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but Tom obviously hears it. His face is suddenly nuzzled into your neck, his laughter making his breath puff out onto your skin, and you swear your heart stops. He’s not even hovering over you anymore, just straight up laying on top of you, while you can hear the couple on the TV getting it on.
“Tommy?” You ask softly, slowly removing your hands from his face, and instead placing one of them between his shoulder blades, and the other on his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair, pulling slightly. With your hand resting on his neck, you feel his pulse quicken, almost matching your own at this point.
Carefully he hoists himself up so he’s resting on his forearms, head right over yours.
“Y/n, I could do more than just reach shelves for you.” Another surge rushes downwards in your body at the sound of his husky voice. He has never spoken to you like that before, and the way his eyes are staring into your soul right now, along with the feeling of his breath on your lips and just everything - you have to try your hardest not to let out a desperate whimper. Instead, you furrow your brows, not sure what he’s talking about.
“What do you mean?” Your voice is so low now, you’re barely even whispering.
“Y/n…” He looks at you, devastated and confused. You reach one hand up to play with the curls on the back of his neck, and with your other hand you rub soothing circles on his bicep.
“You have no idea how much better I would treat you than any of those wankers out there.”
You stop breathing, stop moving, stop everything. Did he just say that?
“What did you just say?” Slowly, you let your hand slide down so it’s resting on his cheek, and he nuzzles into it, your breath immediately catching in your throat.
“You’re right. I am cliché, but that’s your fault.” The way he’s looking at you makes fireworks go off in your brain, happy ones. Like the first time you celebrate New Year’s without your parents, and the first time you don’t need ear plugs. It’s excitement, happiness, new beginnings and so much joy that you barely have enough room for it.
“You made me fall in love with my best friend… And I know this is so fucking cheesy; but be a cliché with me?” He chuckles nervously. His eyes searching your face for any response, but you’re just smiling, new tears brimming in your eyes. You nod.
“Oh, thank god.” He huffs out, his nervous smile now replaced with a lazy but excited one. “Does that mean I can kiss you now?” You nod again, not trusting your voice to work and the moment he leans down to capture your lips with his, the fireworks stop. The heat is still there, the joy and the adoration is there, but there are no fireworks. Instead, you feel as if you’re coming home from a long night out, a busy work weekend, a terrible day spent mostly in traffic. You’re home and you can finally relax, every worry of the day ripples off you as his lips move gently against yours - it’s the comfort of a warm shower before going to bed, a homemade meal with the people you love, handpicked flowers instead of a store-bought bouquet. As he kisses you, gently and carefully like you’re gonna slip away any second, you realize that this right here is home. Not his apartment, not London, not even England. He is home.
:)-(:
~Present~
This is home now, you remind yourself. LA is home now. Without further thought you stand up and make your way downstairs to Dan.
“Morning Moviestar, did ya’ sleep well?” Dan greets you with a side hug and a kiss on the top of your head. You just nod into his chest before walking over to plop yourself down on the kitchen island.
“I was thinking we could go shoot some photos today. I really want to add some to my portfolio, and you’re literally the perfect model.” He watches you as you snuggle into your cropped hoodie before letting out a deep breath.
“We could do that, and then maybe board games tonight? Oooh and tea, it’s been so long since I’ve done anything remotely british,” you laugh.
“Deal, but first! Breaktfast! The most important meal of the day!” And with that he turns back around to continue his cooking. As if on cue, your phone starts buzzing from its place beside you. A photo of a very drunk Mena from your first night out pops up on your screen.
You and Mena have gotten close over the last weeks. You’re bound to given all the time you’ve spent together, and he’s been a pillar of support for you. There are no romantic feelings between you, and it’s been fantastic to have a guy you can talk straight relationship problems with, no offence to Dan of course. You pick up the phone.
“Hi! You’re up early,” you chuckle. 9 am on a day with no work sounds about impossible for the Mena you’ve come to know.
“Well! All the good vegan breakfast places all get overrun if I don’t get to them fast enough.” You can basically hear the smile in his voice.
“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Dan smiles before flipping the pancakes. He would never admit it to you while sober, but he has definitely garnered a slight crush on your new friend. Mena knows, and to be honest he’s flattered. But honestly, it’s no wonder. One look at Mena and most girls fawning over Tom would fawn over him too. They’re very very similar with their dark hair, dark eyes, height and just all-around happy personalities. The only reason you’re not interested in him, as far as you can tell, is that despite all the similarities, Mena isn’t Tom.
“Remember our rebound date plan? Could we do that tomorrow night? My ex texted me last night and I damn near wrote that I missed her. I need the rebound y/n!” He chuckles, and you smile. After everything you’ve heard about his ex, you know just how similar your situations are. Except of course, you didn’t get cheated on. Or… at least you hope you didn’t.
“I should have time then, where do you wanna go?” You watch your feet dangling above the ground. Just thinking about feeling any semblance of romance makes you giddy. You’re a sucker for romance and anything that has to do with that intimate bond you get with someone, and while you will admit you’re not all the way over Tom, it will be nice to do something romantic again.
“Fantastic! If you’re up for it, there’s this vegan restaurant I think you might enjoy. If not we can find somewhere and just make sure they have some options for me.”
After discussing the last details of the date-thing, you hang up and glance back up at Dan, who is now nearly done with his batter, a beautiful stack of pancakes teasing you from beside him.
It is going to be weird, going on a date again. Your first date with Tom was perfect, every single aspect of it. Same goes for the second and third. All of your dates with Tom were perfect. The thought saddens you a bit. Despite your efforts, you just can’t get him out of you head. But to be fair to yourself, you did think he was it for you. Even if he wasn’t it for you, he was still good for you, you remind yourself.
“Hey, you alright?” Dan nudges your knee with his hand
“Yeah, was just thinking about Tom again.” You watch carefully as the confusion flickers across Dan’s face. “In a good way though.” A smile falls on your lips when Dan sighs in relief.
“Yeah, how so?” He returns to the pans, quickly checking the consistency of the pancakes before humming with approval.
“You know, just all the good times we had together, how much he changed me for the better? I was thinking about our first kiss earlier. It’s kind of crazy to think about now.”
“Very true. I still can’t believe Harrison managed to walk in on that without freaking out.” Dan chuckles pouring a new batch of batter onto the pan. “Didn’t he manage to get a picture of you?”
Your blood rushes to your cheeks. Harrison had walked in and caught you, and as you found out later, he had grabbed his phone and taken a very lovely picture of the two of you. Your families found it adorable, but the three of you all new what scene was playing on TV and couldn’t take the romantic atmosphere seriously because of it.
“Yeah, it should be in the box I brought with me.” With a hum you reach over and grab one of the banana pieces Dan has cut for the pancakes, but not without getting a slap on your hand first.
“Wait.. A box with pictures?” He asks, halting his actions. “Like, a shoebox with ‘Tom’ written on it?”
You hum, going to grab another banana slice.
“Y/n.. Don’t hate me. But when Tom came over, I kinda figured you were gonna give him his stuff, and I thought that box was meant for him, so I put it down with the rest of his stuff…”
Hi! I'm a relatively new writer and I was wondering if you had any advice for stories and fanfic? Thank you so much and stay safe!
When it comes to writing in general, it’s important to know why you’re writing in the first place. Is it to tell a story? To convey a message? To learn more about yourself? To entertain?
Personally I write to explore the worlds, characters and stories I have in my head. For that reason I don’t try to control what I write. For example: If I write that my character behaves in a specific manner, I go with it even if it goes against my previous plans. That way the characters and the stories come alive for me, and the story seems less like something I’m making up, and more like I’m telling it for someone who can’t write it themselves.
So my advice would be for you to figure out why you write, and then tailor your writing style to that. Of course you should never be scared to change it up though. I have four texts published, but none of them are in any way related and completely different genres.
Figure out what you’re most comfortable writing, and then use that as your base when you then go explore your capabilities.
Most importantly though, remember to have fun! Also, don’t let yourself get discouraged because something seems cliché or overused. Sure, the concept has been written before, but not by you. Realise that clichés aren’t always a bad thing, and that no matter how cliché your story is, the story has power because it was written by you.
Also your piece doesn’t have to be perfect right away, if that’s the case you’re doing it wrong. It’s like lifting weights for the first time, if it doesn’t burn to do it, if it doesn’t make you feel like you could be better, the weight isn’t heavy enough. Always challenge yourself, and accept where you’re at with your writing at the moment. Like a muscle, it needs to be trained. All the bad pieces you write? Save them, then you can come back to them later and see how much you have grown.
Last but not least - Writing is personal, it’s so very personal, and it’s okay to not share what you’re writing with people until you’re comfortable with it, but finding someone to give you constructive criticism will aid you immensely. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life at the moment, I would be happy to help.
The first step to becoming a good writer, is wanting to write and learn about writing at all, so you’re already halfway there.
Warning: A whole bucket of angst in this one.. But is that really surprising at this point?
Word Count: 2727
A/N: Hi again! So, this chapter is kind of just the catalyst to what’s up next. Now, I need to know something! I know this is a Tom fic, but I need to know if you would be okay with not having him in a couple chapters. It will all make sense later in the series! I just need to know what you guys think. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, and if you wanna be added to the taglist, just shoot me a message. Enjoy! <3
Warning: A whole bucket of angst in this one.. But is that really surprising at this point?
Word Count: 2727
A/N: Hi again! So, this chapter is kind of just the catalyst to what’s up next. Now, I need to know something! I know this is a Tom fic, but I need to know if you would be okay with not having him in a couple chapters. It will all make sense later in the series! I just need to know what you guys think. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, and if you wanna be added to the taglist, just shoot me a message. Enjoy! <3
Series Masterlist
Chapter 4:
In all honesty, Mena isn’t exactly what you had expected. He is the exact same height as Tom, and his black curls are styled neatly, not a single piece falling into his dark brown eyes. His smile is almost blinding and there’s this weird energetic calm surrounding him. He reminds you a little of watching fireworks as a kid with ear plugs in; all the beauty and excitement but also all the safety and comfort. To say the least, your chemistry test goes amazingly well, and within minutes you’re sure the two of you will make great friends.
“Here you go,” Mena hands you the cocktail you ordered, quickly sliding into the VIP booth. The round table is surrounded by your castmates. Ashley, who plays your best friend, Marcus who plays your fiance and Chrissy who plays your dancing competition along with some others. The moment you met them all you all just kinda clicked into a strangely familiar friendship. You’re sitting with Ashley on your right and Mena now on your left.
The sound of some remix is buzzing loudly all throughout the exclusive club they all dragged you to, and you are buzzing from the drinks you’ve already had.
“Uh! That blonde guy over there is totally checking you out! And he’s kind of cute!” Ashley yells beside you so she’s barely audible over the loud bass. You turn to look in the direction she’s pointing in, noticing a very handsome stranger standing at a table eyeing you while talking to his friends.
“I’m not here to hook up with anyone,” you laugh bumping your shoulder into Ashley’s before taking a big sip of your way too strong cocktail.
“Mm, I’m not saying you should hook up with him. Just you know.. a little making out never hurt anybody.” She says and you can’t help but smile as she winks at a random guy on the dance floor.
“If you’re not gonna go grind on some stranger, you can come dance with me!” Mena grabs your hand and drags you out of the booth, giving you only enough time to hand your clutch to Ashley before you’re swept away.
Before long you’re in the middle of the dancefloor, arms around Mena’s neck as you move your hips side to side.
“If were going to be dancing partners in this movie, you’re gonna have to bring some better moves than those.” He laughs and gently places his hands on your hips to guide you. You resist the urge to push his hands away, and instead embrace his touch, zoning back into your good old days of dancing.
“Ah, so you can dance,” he smirks at you and you can hear Ashley and Chrissy cheering you on from the booth behind you. This is all so familiar to you, dancing in a crowded club, a handsome brown-haired, brown-eyed guy right in front of you. The last time you were dancing like this with someone it had ended very differently from how tonight was going to end.
You let the music swallow you, letting your instincts take over for your mind, and just enjoying the way the music flows through you. It all feels so incredibly natural, like this is exactly what you were born to do. You started closing yourself off from this when you got too busy with work and Tom and everything else.
Tom.
Looking up at Mena, you see Tom instead. Honey-brown eyes looking at you with love enough to fill this whole room. His eyes capture yours and you feel your heart shatter, the buzzing in your head gets louder, the colorful strobe lights becomes too much and the whole world starts spinning.
With a sudden urgency your tear your eyes away to look down at the ground, and when you look back up again, Mena is looking at you with a concern evident in his eyes. He furrows his brows as he asks you something, but you can’t hear what he’s saying.
You don’t move, you just stand there in the middle of the dance floor, completely still, hoping that everything is just going to stop and make sense again. Nothing happens, the strobe lights are still going crazy, another weird remix you have never heard before starts playing, the whole world is spinning, and you just stand there, looking at Mena like some helpless kid.
“Hey! Do you need to go outside?” He’s hugging you now, mouth right next your ear and you just nod into his shoulder, not really knowing what words are at the moment. “Alright, let’s get your bag first.”
He takes your hand with his and you focus on your feet as he quickly maneuvers you out of the club, holding your clutch tight in his other hand. Since it isn’t a high-end, celeb-typical club he doesn’t look around before the two of you sit down on a bench on the other side of the street to the club.
For awhile you just sit there, playing with the hem on your dress that feels too short all of a sudden. The sound of the late night traffic distracts you from all the thoughts that feels like are banging into your skull and your eyes dull over with silent tears as you look up at the night sky. You can’t see the stars, all the light from the city obscuring it, but there’s a familiar comfort in the dark night sky.
“I know we only met yesterday, but if there’s something you wanna talk about, you can trust me.” Mena bumps his shoulder into yours, and the thought that you can’t even start a new life without Tom haunting you almost makes you wanna laugh. Or maybe cry, it’s hard to tell at this point.
“I ehm.. I have this ex that I just got reminded of, and I’m very clearly not over him,” you sigh, turning to look at Mena with a pretty pathetic smile. “I don’t wanna ruin your night, you can go back in if you want to. I’ll be fine.”
“Nah, I’m gonna stay right here and make sure my on-screen love is okay.” He places his arm around you and draws you in so you can lay your head on his shoulder. “Do you wanna talk about him?”
“I don’t know actually. My best friend, Dan, hasn’t really allowed me to since the breakup.”
“You should. Talk about him, I mean. It doesn’t have to be with me, but all those pent up feelings that keep bubbling to the surface? That’s you missing him, and if you don’t let them out, you’re never going to get over him.” Mena’s voice is so calm and the warm california air feels like a warm hug surrounding all of you.
“My brother’s a psychologist and he told me something a couple weeks ago that I think you need to hear. When we cry, it’s not because we’re sad or it’s built into our brain that we need to show others that we’re sad. It’s because every single emotion we ever feel is made up of these small hormones inside us, and if we have too many of them at once, like when we’re really frustrated or happy or sad, we cry because the tears transport some of those hormones out to stabilize us again. Personally, I think that applies to words too, if you have too many thoughts pent up inside, you won’t have space for new, fresh thoughts. So let some of them out. Even if your friend Dan won’t allow you.” He removes his hand from around you and instead grabs your hands in his.
“So come on, tell me about this guy.”
“It’s just, I thought I was going to marry him, you know?” You glance up at Mena, seeing his supportive smile and attentive eyes. “We met at an event four years ago, and something just felt so right, it was like every bad choice I had ever made and every failure finally made sense. If I hadn’t failed I wouldn't have met him, and he made me happier than I ever imagined being, and now he’s just gone.”
“Did you ever get to say goodbye to him?” Mena rubs his thumb across your knuckles before he moves to sit on one knee in front of you. If a stranger walked by they would think this was a very strange proposal.
“What do you mean?” You sigh, reaching one hand up to dry away the tears on your cheeks.
“I mean, did you really say goodbye? Tell him that you love him but that you have to move on? Tell him how much he meant to you but that you can’t keep being in love with him? Did you get closure, or was it just a messy breakup.”
Your mother had always talked about how some moments in your life would be bigger than you had ever imagined. How even the smallest conversation could change your entire outlook on life and how even the smallest hardships could turn out to have the biggest lessons right on the other side of them. As Mena is sitting there, on the tiled ground in front of you, looking at you, not with pity but support, you know this is one of those moments. You didn’t have closure. The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind when he came to see you.
Mena nods in response to your silence and hands you your clutch. He sits back down on the bench beside you, still holding one of your hands.
“Call him. Say goodbye. I’ll be right here.” He squeezes your hand as you use the other to grab your phone. It’s almost 2 am here, which means it’s 10 am back home in London, which is a weird thing to think about right as you press the button to dial your ex.
One ring; one breath and a sob that makes Mena squeeze your hand again.
Two rings; another deep breath and a thumping heart.
Three rings; You can’t do this, this is stupid, you should just hang u… He picks up.
“Y/n?” He’s right there, on the other end of the line, and all of a sudden the words are stuck in your throat. “Hello?”
“Hi,” Your voice sounds weak, and you bite down, hard, on your lip to force away that feeling.
“I.. I thought you were done with me, why are you calling me?” His voice calms you immediately. It’s groggy, his morning voice, and behind your closed eyelids you can see him lying under his pure white duvet with the sun from the window hitting his face so his jawline stands out even more. His curly hair is probably messy from his habitual restlessness. He always told you that you were the only thing to keep him from tossing and turning all night.
“I just needed to talk to you, I guess.” You don’t sound as weak, but even then you bite down a little harder on your bottom lip.
“Listen, y/n, I fucked up. I know that, and if you’ll just give me the chan-”
“Stop!” He stops. Something in the pit of your stomach is annoyed that he doesn’t fight to say what he wants, another is grateful that you don’t have to hear it, because that would make saying goodbye so much harder.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, and once again you can see him, one hand holding his phone up to his ear and the other covering his eyes. You can see it, because that’s exactly what he does whenever he’s had to take an awkward phone call. If you had been there when he had to take one of those in bed, you would have kissed his chest, neck and jaw to distract him. The risk was exciting too, but you always told him it was to distract him.
“I need to say goodbye, Tom. These past years have been amazing, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you have taught me. Really, you mean the world to me.” You glance sideways at Mena who nods, encouraging you to go on. “But you can’t mean the world to me anymore. You decided that we just weren’t right for eachother and maybe you saw something I just couldn’t. So I’m gonna take some time to just, figure out what you saw, and learn to love my life without you in it. Goodbye Tom, at least until I’m completely over you.” You barely get the last part out, your lips trembling and your eyes stinging with tears.
“Wait, y/n!” You hang up on him. With the phone still clenched so tight in your hand that your knuckles are turning white, you turn to look at Mena, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. He stands up, dragging you with him before he pulls you into a hug, not minding that your smeared makeup is very obviously going to stain his crisp white shirt.
“How did you know I needed to do that?” You ask, keeping your eyes on the club entrance and your ear against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart.
“I needed the exact same thing a couple of weeks ago.” You can hear the slight smile in his voice, and you feel amazed at how kind this guy is. You haven’t even known him for 12 hours, and yet he gets you in a way Dan just doesn’t. “And I get what overprotective friends can do. Saying that missing someone is okay, isn’t the same as actually allowing someone to miss their ex.”
The two of you both let out a tearful chuckle, and you draw back from him, keeping your hands in his.
“Maybe the two of us just need a little romance again.” You laugh, another tear slowly making its way down to your jaw. “Come on, let's go back inside, they must be wondering where we are by now.”
Grabbing your clutch from its place on the bench you start making your way across the street to the club again, when you notice Mena isn’t following you.
“What’s up?” You take a few steps back so you’re standing with him again.
“I just had a really weird idea, but it might actually work.” He turns to look at you, a very mischievous glint in his eye, and for some reason you feel bubbling excitement in your chest.
“Go on,” The relief of telling Tom goodbye has you feeling quite adventurous and spontaneous.
“You and I both need to get over someone, right? Normal people would get a rebound, but we would probably both feel to bad for that person to ever actually get that rebound. So how about we’re each other's rebound? One date, one night. We get the romance and the excitement of a date with no expectations.” His smile widens as he talks and you feel yourself nodding along. You haven’t really felt worthy of romance since the last time Tom bought you flowers, and you could really use an evening where you just forget everything.
“So what do you say? For one night, I’m not Mena Massoud, I’m just Mena and you’re just y/n. Just a regular boy and a regular girl who find eachother attractive, going on a date, but the both of us will wake up in the morning knowing that we are just friends, and hopefully, we’ll then be ready to go on with our lives?”
Right there, under the California night sky, in front of a buzzing night club, standing beside your dancing partner for the next few months, you find yourself in a position to choose between the safe route to getting over Tom, where you take your time getting over him, eating a ton of ice cream and watching way too many rom-coms. Or you can choose the untraditional route, a weird version of friends with benefits for a night, with an attractive guy. That would definitely make Tom jealous, and to be honest, the thought of hurting Tom even just a little, has you weirdly excited. If anyone ever asked, you would never admit that though.
“Let’s do it,” you grin up at Mena as you shake on it.
Hi! I just wanted to say that I loved the first two chapters of Under Renovation! I was also wondering if you had a tag list for the series? I don’t want to miss any of it!
Yes Hi! Sorry for the late reply, but of course! Thank you for reading love <3
Summary: You didn’t exactly know why Tom Holland broke up with you, but you knew you had to get over him. It’s just hard to get over someone when the whole world ships you, and he’s all over every social media platform, so that’s just great.
A/N: It has been so long! Omg.. I’m sorry. My mental state plummeted after I posted the last chapter, and it has been really hard to get back to a place where I could write something that wasn’t just extremely depressing. But I’m back! And hopefully to stay. I would love some feedback or just to talk to you guys, see how you’re holding up during all this <3 And if you wanna be tagged, just message me <3
Series Masterlist
Chapter 3:
He looks good. Worse than you expected based on the recent pictures of him, but still; he looks good. A quiet voice in the back of your mind reminds you that he will always look good.
“What.. What are you doing here?”
He shuffles a bit, sticking his hands into his front pockets - a clear sign that he’s uncomfortable.
“I ehm..” You watch as his adam’s apple bobs up and down, “I guess I just wanted to see you? See how you’re doing.” He squeezes his eyebrows together, and you notice how messy his curls are. He’s been pacing, running his hands through his hair.
“How long have you been stood out here?” You try, so damn hard, to not let your heart squeeze at the sight of his worried gaze and the chewed up bottom lip.
“I should have known you would catch on to that,” he chuckles sadly, “I don’t know, about 20 minutes I think. Couldn’t really get myself to knock.”
“Do you want to come in for some tea? I mean, Dan’s here, but I wouldn’t be a good brit if I didn’t offer you some,” you smile weakly at him, telling yourself that you’re not offering because you want him there, but just because your mum taught you manners.
He clears his throat, eyes quickly moving down your body before reaching yours again. “Yeah, some tea would be nice.”
You step away from the door to let him in, and begin a slow walk towards your kitchen. The door clicks shut behind Tom and you swallow down the lump in your throat.
“A lot of boxes, huh?” You watch as he glances around at the apartment he once belonged in, and he looks more out of place than you would ever imagine he could.
“Yeah well, a lot is changing.” As soon as the words leave your mouth his eyes dull over and he looks down at the ground and the sight makes you want to run over to him and throw your arms around his neck, chase away all the sadness he is feeling.
But if he wanted you to be the person chasing away his sadness, he wouldn’t have broken up with you. Anger bubbles up in your stomach, but you try to suppress it by quickly walking into the kitchen and filling the kettle with water.
“So, how are you? It’s been strange not hearing from you.” He’s leaning against the kitchen island, looking intently at you, and oh boy do you wanna hurt him. How is it fair that he can be stood here, and act like he didn’t shatter your heart right in this spot only a week ago. You can’t though, you can’t just hurt him, not matter how much you want to.
“I’m just taking things as they come. Moving on.” The last bit comes out involuntarily and you squeeze your eyes shut trying to remind yourself to be civil. If this had been a movie you would have slapped him, that much is for sure.
“Moving on?” Tom has the audacity to sound surprised.
“Yeah well, you have, so why shouldn’t I?” You turn around so you’re leaning on the counter opposite Tom, now face to face. Your hands are beginning to shake ever so slightly, so you steady them on the counter.
“Y/n…”
“I don’t want to hear it Tom,” the kettle signals that it’s done so you quickly pour the water into three mugs, one for Dan as well. Dan has disappeared into your bedroom and you silently thank him for not being here right now. You hand one mug to Tom before walking over to the breakfast bar with your mug nestled in your hands. “Why are you really here Tom?”
You sit down as he stands on the other side. The two of you had been in this position countless times, only those times you would always interrupt each other by leaning over the bar to kiss each other. Times really do change quickly huh?
“I don’t really know. Guess I’m just not used to going so long without seeing you.” He blows on his tea while looking up at you through his lashes. Fuck.
“Should have thought of that before you broke up with me.” You shouldn’t have said that. You really shouldn’t have said that. The tea is scalding hot as you take a sip, trying to chase away all the nasty words on the tip of your tongue.
Tom is just about to open his mouth when Dan yells for you in the other room. You glance at Tom before you dart your way into your bedroom.
“Don’t let the bastard talk you into forgiving him.” You shove him meekly in the arm at his scolding expression before smiling gratefully at him.
“I know besides we’re moving half a world away, don’t worry I’m not stupid.” You don’t fully believe what you’re saying, because you can definitely feel your heart begging you to just wrap Tom up in your arms and never let him go again.
“Anyway, I packed up all the rest of Tom’s stuff, so you can give it to him when he leaves.” Dan smiles at you quickly pointing over his shoulder at the box and bag behind him.
“Thanks Dan.”
When you get back out into the living room you spot Tom sitting at the breakfast bar looking wistfully into his tea, his teeth nibbling on his lower lip. As you walk closer he looks up at you, and his eyes dart between you and his stuff.
“Oh, I ehm.. I haven’t brought you your stuff.” You just smile and nod at him, trying not to think about him being in bed with someone while your stuff is still on the bedside table.
“It’s fine, to be honest, I was just packing it. Didn’t think you wanted to see me, so I was just going to drop by and give it to Nikki.” You grab your tea from beside him and immediately place it down again. Well, this is just getting more and more awkward.
“Why wouldn’t I want to see you?” He raises his eyebrow at you slowly getting of the barstool and walking towards you.
“Might have something to do with what you said last time you were here.” You don’t move out of the way, despite him getting closer to you, now standing right in front of you, your breath mingling with his. “You know, how you were too young to be in a relationship that serious and you needed to see other people. Might have something to do with that.”
“Y/n..” He reaches a hand up to your cheek forcing you to look into his eyes. You know it’s crazy that you can be both incredibly in love with him and extremely angry with him all at the same time. It’s like every single nerve in your entire body is burning up, both with passion and rage. He leans in further placing his forehead on yours, eyes burning into yours.
“I’m an idiot, I shouldn’t have left you.” Your breath hitches in your throat at his words.
“Why did you?” It’s barely a whisper, but you’re sure he hears it. His thumb rubs against your cheekbone and you melt into the touch.
Instead of answering he leans in, softly placing his lips on yours, barely even grazing them, but you feel it. The stupid spark that was always there, and the stupid spark you wanted to marry him for. If he felt that spark too why did he ever leave you? Why did he move on so quickly.
The images of him and the blonde girl flash behind your closed eyes, and your nerves finally make up their mind. Your skin is burning and he’s standing there acting like he didn’t cause the fire that has been tearing you apart for a week. Without a thought you push him away and slap him. The sound is immensely satisfying.
“Get out.” You take a couple of steps away from him before looking at him again. “I said get out.”
“I..” He begins.
“No Tom! You can’t expect me to just take you back after you completely broke my heart and found someone else. I will not be your backup plan.” You see the bewildered expression run across his face and it only fuels your anger more. “Just take your stuff and get out.”
“At least let me explain,” he walks towards you again, a little more urgently this time, but you avoid him by going over to shove his stuff towards him.
“You can’t talk your way out of this one, you did what you did, now live with it.”
He nods slowly, before finally grabbing his stuff and walking towards the door. Before he opens the door he turns to look at you once again, and your heart shatters at the broken look in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” he doesn’t bother covering up the small crack in his voice, and before you can change your mind you walk over to him, placing one hand on the door knob and the other on his shoulder. Despite your best efforts it’s impossible to be mad at him when he looks like that, so you quickly reach up placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
“I hope you find someone who makes you happy Tom.” With a small nod, and a last look at you he’s out the door.
:)-(:
The airport isn’t buzzing the way it usually is. There aren’t a lot of people, and the ones that are here are obviously tired and struggling to realize that there is still at least an hour until their plane boards.
You’re sat a small table at the starbucks next to your gate, more focused on the random chatter around you than the hot chocolate you’re nursing in your hands. The last time you were at an airport Tom was right beside you. The two of you had decided on a secret getaway in the two weeks you both had off. At the time, it had felt fun and mischievous to be wearing disguises and pretending to be someone else, now it was just a cold reminder that you were never someone Tom wanted to date publicly. Maybe that was a sign that he wanted to end it?
No. It couldn’t have been, because that trip was the best trip you had ever been on, and the amount of butterflies you get in your stomach when you look at the crazy amount of pictures is proof of that. Also, you had never brought up going public either.
You miss him. There’s a voice in the back of your mind screaming that you shouldn’t, but then there’s another telling you that’s it’s okay. The confusion of that simple feeling, the missing him, feels like a punch in the stomach. You’re doubled over, not being able to breath because he left you, but no one can help you, ‘cause it’s all happening in your mind.
“You know, it’s normal to be conflicted about this stuff.” Dan’s voice is just as loud as it needs to be. He doesn’t reach for your hand this time, somehow he knows you just need your own space. “I mean.. When Jacob broke up with me I missed him and hated him at the same time. It’s normal to both want him back and never want to see him again, just give yourself some time y/n.”
“I don’t want time though. I just don’t want to think about him anymore.” You let go of your hot chocolate to remove your cap before running a frustrated hand through your hair. Before Tom had showed up you had been so certain that moving away was the best option, but that stupid annoying look of uncertainty he had when he left…
With a low sigh you turn around to look at the big information screens, only to be met with the sight of a group of girls all looking at you giggling and pointing at you. You muster up the best smile you can before turning back to Dan.
“I just need to start over and forget about him,” it sounds so simple when you say it like that. If only.
“Just remember that it’s okay to miss him, even if you don’t want to. Allow yourself to grieve your loss y/n.” You’re so eternally grateful for your career in that minute, because just as you feel like you’re about to burst into tears, the group of girls come over to ask for a picture. It’s a strange sensation though - acting happy when your head is clouded with rain clouds, but you do it anyway, thanking your acting classes in the process.
:)-(:
The house Matt has rented for you and Dan is nothing less than perfect. You’re lounging in one of the loungers along the edge of your pool as Dan walks around the decently sized house, still running out to scream in excitement at you once in a while. If it wasn’t for the pure exhaustion from the events of the last week and a half alone, you would be right there with him. But for now, just laying in the lounger, looking up at the beautiful white old style house, and then out at the stunning view from Hollywood Hills, is more than enough.
You haven’t unpacked yet, and you don’t exactly know why - perhaps it just hasn’t completely sunk in that you’re starting over. You had been in the states for only half a week, yet it feels like it has been a lifetime since you have last seen Tom. Despite your efforts, you can’t figure out if that was a good or bad thing.
Tonight is the night that you are finally going to meet everyone for the upcoming film. You are especially excited to see Mena, for multiple reasons. Mostly because the two of you haven’t done a chemistry test yet, which is the first thing on the agenda tonight, and also because you really admire his previous work.
Grabbing your book and sunglasses from beside you, you get up and walk through the impeccably designed living room, up the stairs and into the master suite. You had vehemently offered it to Dan, but he refused to take it - “You’re the star here, you deserve this room.” He is such an idiot.
Jumping in the shower, you try not to let your mind wander, but as has been custom lately, it doesn’t work. You haven’t heard from Tom, and everytime you think about him, the regretful look in his eyes from the last time you saw him surfaces in your mind. You can’t help it; you still miss him. The first night you got to LA, you fell asleep on top of your covers in the orange hoodie you brought with you. It is hanging in the back of your way too big closet, and it still smells like him. Fortunately Dan hadn’t caught you in it.
Dan had made you delete the hearts from Tom’s name in your phone, and had also taken it upon himself to go through all your followed tags on the different social media’s in order to stop following those with Tom in them. While you were grateful that he was trying to help you, it felt kind of restricting that you weren’t allowed to do that in your own time.
As you get out of the shower, you wrap yourself in a fluffy white towel and walk towards your closet. Matt had hired you a stylist, who made the big closet feel almost too small. Shuffling over to the dresses, you pick out a nude tight dress, that you can already tell will hug your body in just the right ways, and slip into it along with some underwear. Putting on your ‘Getting ready’-playlist you quickly dry your hair and do your makeup before picking out some stunning nude heels. While it is partly a chemistry test, the party afterwards is supposed to be a banger. There’s already been opened a group chat, and from what you understand Mena and some of the others are planning on introducing you to the best clubs in the area, so you might as well dress up for the occasion. Besides, it’s been a while since you let yourself have fun.
As you step in front of the mirror, you can’t help the smile on your face. Even you can see that you look incredibly good. Your sun-kissed skin is glowing, the bags under your eyes are gone, the frizz in your hair with it. There’s light in your eyes and you generally feel pretty amazing. Tom would have loved you in this getup, although he would probably want you out of it as soon as possible.
Stop.
Apparently old habits really do die hard.
With a sigh you find a clutch that goes with your outfit and pack all the essentials. Phone, keys, ID - all the fun boring stuff. On your way out you catch Dan opening and closing the fridge, and you chuckle at the look of his dumbfounded face as the light switches on and off.
“I swear to god y/n, the fridge talked to me be… Woah” he removes his eyes from the fridge to look at you instead, and a massive grin spreads on his face.
“I was about to say that this house makes me feel like a kid, but damn.. You look way too good to be a kid.” He beams as he walks towards you and places a kiss on the top of your head. He pulls you in for a hug, nustling you into the crook of his neck. “Please have fun tonight - you deserve to have fun.”
He quickly places another kiss on the top of your head before he pushes you out of the big glass door and goes back to his fridge.
A driver stands in front of a casual black rover with a charming smile on his face. You would have driven yourself, but Dan refused to let you come home sober tonight. “That’s not the young, hot, hollywood actress spirit.” He’s absolutely bonkers, but that’s exactly why you love him.
The cool air from the ac makes the hairs on your arms stand up. A week here, and you’re already sure you would become an Icepick if you went back home to London. Hollywood hills flows by outside the windows, slowly turning into the city and then various studios. The driver helps you out of the car when you reach the lot, where Matt is stood, waiting for you in a crispy black button up.
“Now, who do you have to thank for such an amazing outfit?” He smirks as you walk over and link your arm with his.
“Oh, definitely not you.” You stick out your tongue at him, laughing softly when he huffs and rolls his eyes.
“Remind me to find you a new manager.. maybe a rookie.” He places his fingers on his chin, stroking a make-belief beard as you head into a large building.
“Like you could ever live without me.” You lean up and kiss him on the cheek, before he laughs and pulls you into a big room filled to the brim with people. This is your life for the next few months, and to be honest? You can’t wait.
story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.
When Tom, at last, knew the answer, y/n had a different question. Maybe it had taken him too long. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t hinted it. But they belonged together. Didn’t they?
