ive been sitting on this post for SO LONG but considering my hiatus ends tomorrow and i’m going to be dropped soon anyway, i felt i should give an explanation.
as most of you probably read in my last post, i took a long hiatus because of mental illness. i said i was looking at some more extreme forms of help and well...the good news is ive been getting it! i joined a rather intensive outpatient program that’s been eating up all of my time and energy but i do think it’s working. slowly, and ive had several relapses, but i’m alive so that’s a thing.
the bad news is...my muse didn’t really come back. not for janine anyway. she’s still there, as are all the characters i’ve had in we but really i just don’t have it in me (or my schedule) anymore to participate in a multi-paragraph rp. so i’m going to be dropping myself from we for now.
its pretty amazing to look back and think about how much i went through with you guys. i mean my we-nniversary is two weeks from now! its been an amazing year with everyone and i want to thank everyone so much for all the support you guys have given me. janine is not a particularly well known character in the pokemon fandom but you all accommodated and made some amazing threads and headcanons for her. this has definitely been some of the best rping ive done in my writing career and i’ll always be thankful that this community has been as great as it is.
that being said, who knows if this will be forever! maybe once im out of program and get my life onto steadier ground, i’ll be able to scrounge up my muse once more. for janine, shani, kaito, or anyone else i took on. that’s why i titled this post as see you around rather than goodbye. because hopefully it won’t be forever. and if it is, then i’m glad i got to be apart of something so great.
that being said, i’ll see you guys around! if you still want to talk to me or do much lighter, shorter rp with my characters, then you can always find me on skype. love you babies and have fun with the rest of your roleplaying and irl endeavors <3
this post is gonna be a meeessssssssss but here we go
long story short Mental Illness has struck again!!! pretty darn badly this time!!!!!! ive spent years using rp and creative outlets as a way of coping with my shit but now everything’s fallen apart so badly that i can’t even bring myself to do that. i dont even think about characters or rp anymore which is really sad and strange and unusual for me.......
either way im taking off until my muse comes back, if it does. if it doesn’t....then im probably gonna have to drop janine. i dont really want to do that but idrk whats going to happen with me. im trying some more extreme methods of help in the upcoming future so....who knows!!! not me lmao
anyway thanks for dealing with my bs all the time we you’re all great and i’ve really loved the community. here’s to hoping ill be around to enjoy it lmao
"Next one then! Tell me your favorite movie orrrr... I dare you to go into town right now, and sing the most embarrassing pop song you can think about. See! I'm not boring. I can think of some good dares!"
Her cocky demeanor wavers a bit but she tries to bring it back.
“Hah, well unfortunately for you, it comes at the cost of a good truth. My favorite movie is Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.”
TRUTH: tell me what you REALLY THINK of morty. all of it. dont sugar coat it. DARE: see if you can dropkick an apple off my head
“Oh man as much as I’d love the chance to rant, I think I’m gonna have to drop kick that apple off your head.”
She readies herself, bouncing on her heels like a character from a fighting game. A smirk tugs at her lips. “Ready?”
She gets the go ahead and draws back, whipping her leg high and fast. She manages to miss his head, which turns out to be lucky because the kick is powerful enough to send the apple splattering against the wall. She also ends up catching his hat, which flies off and tumbles across the floor.
The two gawk and cheer because they are actual literal children.
"Okay, okay. Weirdest dream you've ever had? If not, I dare you to jump into this convenient lake beside us now, as you are. Clothes and everything."
She rolls her eyes. “You’re bad at this. Hold on, let me get a running start.”
She heads back, back, faaar back into the convenient woods behind them before sprinting forward and cannonballing in, clothes and all. The baggy fabric billows and drags in the water as she surfaces, laughing loudly. “Come on in, the water’s fine!!”
Before Cheren can answer, another Janine comes up from behind and tackles him into the lake. The first Janine grins before flickering out of existence, leaving the two losers to splash around in presumably rage and gleeful laughter.
"Question: Tell me your biggest insecurity. Dare: You better get a bar of soap out because you're gonna have to eat it."
“What, you think I have a problem poisoning my body?” She laughs before going to retrieve a bar of soap.
“Fun fact, my Mom used to try wiping my mouth out with soap to get me to stop cursing. Some fucking good that ever did eh?” She asks as she takes a big bite out of the soap. Her gag reflex is set off instantly but she chokes it back, swallowing it all down.
“Okay lemony scent does not equal lemony flavor.” Another bite, another gag, followed by more coughing. Hope you’re in this for the long run Dawn because you’re probably going to have to hold her hair back as she vomits it all back up.
Send my muse a question and something you want them to do. My muse will have to choose between answering the question truthfully or doing whatever action the dare is! Could involve other muses, or not, asker’s choice!
“I’ve always had the gym to take care of and so has my Dad. Vacations weren’t really our thing.”
“Well surely you have to be allowed some time off!”
“I dunno, I don’t think Lance would be up for that.”
Much to Janine’s surprise, Lance was totally up for that and offered her the entire week off. Even her Dad conceded that it was probably best for her. There were even implications that they could take their own vacation together someday, though that would be far off in the future.
With her life now completely in Dawn’s hands, the Sinnoh champion was quick to formulate the perfect plan. The duo was going to hit up as many regions as they could and experience as much as possible before relinquishing Janine back to the world of working. Sinnoh was an absolute must on the list but first they decided to stop off at Unova by request of the kunoichi. She wasn’t about to pass up the perfect opportunity to see her long distance friend and fellow poison-enthusiast, Roxie.
The girls landed in Aspertia City, the western-most town in Unova and closest to their starting point in Fuchsia. The trip had been long and cumbersome for their flying types, who practically collapsed in a heap upon landing. Janine took up Momo’s massive Crobat in her hands, squishing her cheeks. “Ooooh, you did so well Momo! Look, we’re in a totally new place and it’s all because of you! What a good girl!”
She summoned a handful of treats from one of the scrolls on her hip, tossing a couple into the open panting mouth of her Crobat and a few more at Dawn to give her Togekiss. “So! We on foot from here on out?”
The plan was to make their way to Virbank City, hang out with Roxie, before taking Unova’s famous subway system around the region to catch some of their most famous sites. They’d find a hotel somewhere, rest, and then decide if they wanted to spend another day in the region or fly off to their next destination. A week seemed like a long time but both of them knew how quickly time could fade.
At the back of his mind, he just had to wonder how fast it all fall apart.
Janine spouting off curses at him was surprising but not entirely unexpected. It wasn’t all that different from the sarcastic or contempt filled remarks she threw out from time to time. What really threw him off was how… personal sounding each word that flew out of her mouth was. It was obvious that she was driving off of emotion but she wasn’t in control of it. Everything that was coming out felt raw and at that moment, he swore that he was seeing a side of Janine that he had never seen before in his life.
Janine hated being alone while it happened but it was the only way she could do it.
When she was alone, she could hear the shallow, high pitched gasps that were her attempts to breathe. The sounds of her body actively working to betray her from her spiked heartbeat to her teeth grinding only served to throw her into further panic. Being alone amplified all that, but she wasn’t alone technically, she was in a loud city bustling in celebration.
Except that it wasn’t.
The realization gave her something to focus on and she sat up a little straighter, listening out. The sounds of the festivities had died off completely, with only one familiar voice rising above them all. Letting the scarf fall from her face, she made a hand sign, concentrating some chakra to her ears. This temporarily enhanced hearing could only do so much, picking up small snippets here and there. “You witnessed it”, “what you saw”, “our argument”; it was all she needed to hear to connect the dots.
They’d witnessed what happened. Of course they did, she’d been screaming like a crazy person--was she a crazy person? Everyone was going to think so after that shitshow. She could imagine their reactions, the way they all muttered to one another with their judgments of her. By this time she had long tuned out the rest of Morty’s address to the crowd, her senses once again filled with the sounds of her descending into panic.
She wanted to get up and run again. Run all the way back to Goldenrod if she had to and board the first Magnet Train back. No, even better, summon her Crobat and fly away, without even the possibility of having to see another human face. But she couldn’t do that. Her kids needed her, though who knows how they’d look at her now after watching her fall apart like that. What were they saying behind her back right now? What was anyone saying? She didn’t need to hear Morty to know that any attempt at damage control would fall away to the nature of human gossip.
She didn’t need to think, she already knew. A young up and coming leader who’d been given the position by Daddy, not worthy of having earned it herself. And like the impetuous child they’d assumed she was, she’d had a temper tantrum on their poor, innocent, perfect human being of a Gym Leader. This wasn’t some mistake she could ignore and bury with the one or two people that experienced it. It had been broadcast for a city to see and they were all likely looking down on her, just as Morty was.
It had crept up on her before she even knew it. Her muscles were tense, her lungs desperately gasping for air, the black buzzing tendrils fully encapsulating her brain and squeezing it, threatening to burst. She couldn’t run, she couldn’t hide, she couldn’t even reach into her belt to summon her Weezing’s comforting gas. All she could do is sit there, hunched over and shaking with her face buried in her scarf and cry. It manifested in the form of sharp gasps and silent screams but the tears still ran, smearing against the pink fabric balled tightly in her fists.
Once when she was a child, she’d accidentally consumed a beaker of distilling venom, believing it to be one of her fanciful colored drinks. While the liquid wasn’t fatal, it wasn’t pleasant either and she’d spent the rest of the day bent over a toilet while her mother had screamed at her father about his irresponsibility. The budding shinobi didn’t even have the energy to worry about it though as she continued puking and projecting into the porcelain bowl nonstop. She’d thrown up the liquid and her lunch and her breakfast and yesterday’s dinner and every drink she’d had and just kept heaving and retching nothing but water and stomach acid until there was literally nothing left.
And that’s what she was doing with her emotions today. Every new wave of panic brought on another retch of quiet screams or silent sobs. This incident had been the beaker of poison, sure, but soon she was heaving up every worry and anxiety that had been building and brewing inside of her over the years. Burying your feelings under the guise of ‘control’ can only hold out for so long.
But just like her childhood incident, soon, there was nothing left to retch. As the last wave of her attack rode itself out, she shuddered out what little remained. In the end, all she could do was slump inward on herself, with no energy even to tremble. She sat there, heavy and motionless as her breathing slowed to a deep, tired rhythm. A dull pain thudded against the back of her skull, buzzing in a way she hadn’t felt in...who knows how long. Ever? There were hints of it in her past, but never like this. Was she going crazy? Maybe she was. Maybe she went crazy like mother dearest had. Would she wake up one day and feel the urge to run away too?
In the end, all the questions could do was float through the black emptiness of her mind, hitting walls but making no purchase. She moved on autopilot now, slowly lowering the cloth from her face so she could breathe better. Slowly, a hand reached up and took out the band holding her hair back, letting the thick purple clumps cover and hide her face instead. By the time Morty arrived, she merely sat with her knees to her chest and her arms draped listlessly over her knees, curtained head hanging between them. She didn’t lift it, even as the medium made his presence known.
Her Toxicroak, who had watched in confused horror just as frozen as her master, almost went to step in between them protectively. At the gesture, and Janine’s silence, she reluctantly stepped to the side, wringing her hands nervously as she looked between them. Janine did not acknowledge him but that didn’t stop him from speaking first anyway.
If she was listening, she certainly wasn’t making it known. What might have elicited a snide remark, a defense, or even a grimace from the usually fiery kunoichi instead brought about nothing. She merely sat there in a slump, exhausted and devoid of any of her trademark energy. However, at the mention of the townspeople, she gave the slightest of a wince, her first give that she was in fact tuned into what he was saying. It didn’t last long as the silence and stillness fell over her again. Soon enough, it did for him as well as his offer hung heavy in the air.
After what seemed like an eternity, she inhaled sharply through her nose. She lifted her head slightly, though away from him, not daring to show her face. When she finally spoke, it was in a gravely murmur. “I’m fine. I don’t want to go back to your place, I don’t want tea, I want...”
She paused for a moment. What did she want? After a couple seconds, she let out something of a breathy, bitter laugh as she scrunched up a chunk of purple hair in her fist. “Y’know what I want? I want some fuckin’ answers.”
“When I first...appeared as I was,” She said carefully. She’d always hated the phrase ‘coming out’ and wasn’t about to use it now. Still, as she continued on, her already exhausted filter lessened. “You were...going through some stuff. I didn’t really know what, I just know that’s just when you were doing your thing and I was doing mine. And you know what, whatever, fine. But when you came out of it, you weren’t really like Falkner. You didn’t just...take me for who I was, but hold onto the old. You...you acted like you didn’t know me. That I was an entirely new person.”
“And if I’m being honest? I guess I appreciated that. A couple others did that and you know what, it worked. But I realized soon...without our history behind us, you are really fuckin’ obnoxious. No more inside jokes, no more understanding, just this weird dynamic where you double down on your friendship with Falkner while totally leaving me behind in the dust. And don’t even get me started on all the bullshit with Falkner cuz I might--”
She cut herself off, huffing loudly. She didn’t know if Falkner had ever talked to Morty about his feelings and the way they act as a couple just short of being one and how much that messes with her best friend-- but for once this wasn’t really about him. She was quick to change the subject, shaking her head. “But here you are now, saying you care for me when I’ve done nothing but be an asshole to you. And it wasn’t on accident either, I’ve been so mad at you for so long and I could never get anything out of you for it. Always patient, always kind, precious sunshine little Morty,” she grunted obnoxiously. She gripped her hair tighter.
“So I guess what I want answered is...what the fuck are you trying to get at here? Why the fuck do you “care” about me but act like we didn’t know each other for the first half of our lives?!” The question came out the strongest out of her relatively weak tirade. Still, she hung her head, waiting expectantly for his answer.
for anyone new, hello!! im scad and i play janine mostly though ive been known to play others. im hoping to interact with as many WEople as i can tho so pls hmu!!
i really wanted to flood the dash with all my responses but those were what i could manage to get off. i was on hiatus mostly dealing with life and school stuff but most of that has passed. the only thing left to get over is a giant case of writers block that continues to plague me. slowly but surely....
also the ask hasnt gone through yet but im planning on dropping fennel. im really sorry to all of those i was plotting with her, please hmu on janine if you still want to thread! if not hopefully either her muse will come back or ill pick up another one who can suffice (been looking at kaito lately.....)
for now its just janine though!! in an effort to work through writers block, im gonna take on some more threads with her. please feel free to message me on here or on skype if you wanna plot and thread!! hope to hear from you soon <3
anyways heres a thread tracker:
iou: koga, dawn (starter), morty (I PROMISE IM ALMOST FINISHED....THIS THREAD WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME)
“Ruuude,” Kris says in a mock offended voice as Janine teases her. She can’t help but grin, though, forgetting all of her previous frustrations. “Thank you though. I knew I could count on you.” It was great to talk to Janine again, even if it was for work. She’s relieved when Janine agrees. She didn’t doubt that she would, but still, there were parts of her that weren’t so sure. It’s a huge weight off Kris’ shoulders, though. She’s genuinely clueless in this, although she doesn’t want to admit it.
Janine grinned at Kris’s offended tone. The two really were quite similar and played off each other very well. It wasn’t always easy to find friends like that, especially in the shitshow that was the Indigo League circuit. Most trainers didn’t want anything to do with the leaders once they got their badges and that meant making friends wasn’t always the easiest task. And she wouldn’t be the first to verbally use the “f-word” (friend) but their interactions spoke volumes.
Once again she listens to Kris...and listens...man she talks a lot. But still, she nods as she meanders the room, looking over the various viles and jars. She even speaks up every once in awhile. “You know, I never thought about that but you’re probably right...poisons would have to develop differently in different regions to accommodate for them, right?” She didn’t know much about the different regions but there were some that were really hot or really cold or surrounded by water...a wild Venomoth would probably have a pretty difficult time if they were anything like the ones here. She was almost surprised at how curious this one question had made her. Maybe a research trip with Kris would be more exciting than a rematch.
Not likely, but possible.
She glanced over at Kris as she pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. “Really Suuuuper professional,” she snorted, shaking her head with a smirk. Still, as Kris called them out, she began to peruse the shelves, taking what she could and putting it into a box.
“Mhmm, well we have Venomoth, Golbat, and Weezing off the bat. We have their pre-evolutions as well. There’s actually a difference, you’d be surprised to learn. They give different sorta reactions...I dunno. I was never really that good with the potion-making as Dad was. If it does the job in battle, it’s good enough for me, you know?” She said as she continued gathering what she could. Now it was her turn to ramble.
“We have some Arbok but not a ton...that shit is really difficult to harvest because of Arboks’ aggressive nature. I can probably give you one or two viles without pissing off Dad but you aren’t gonna get as much as the others. We don’t have any Vileplume, you’d probably have to ask Erika for that one. If she’d let you anywhere near her precious, beautiful Pokemon,” she said, putting her voice as high as she could possibly get it in her mock impression. She even put her hand daintily to her chest, fluttering her eyes a bit before dropping the impression and rolling them. She shook her head.
“If we found some in the wild, I could probably help you extract it, but they might be harder to find than like, an Oddish. Or a Tentacruel, jeez. We don’t have any but that’d be super easy to collect. We could probably go down to the Route 19 shores and pick some up right now.” After a doubleback investigation, she approached Kris and handed off the box to her, now filled with several dozen viles of various liquids and powders, mostly labelled with the original three that she spoke of. Some of the dates on the bottles are several years old, the most recent being within the last couple months. Janine wasn’t as diligent with collecting materials as her father but hey, if she wanted those homebrewed potions, she’d need to get her Dad the stuff that he needed.
jacobvanloon
