as soon as heâd punched his way through the mirror, he regretted his actions. an outburst like this? that was hebeâs way of dealing with stress, not braxâs. he was the one who always kept himself composed, no matter what. now, the shards of glass and the blood on his hand were physical proof of his temper tantrum, and it was embarrassing. and of course, adriana had seen everything. in all honesty, heâd have preferred if it all other guests had seen, but not her. not like this ⊠not weak.
ignoring the throbbing in his hand, he put both of them on the sink and breathed out, remembering an article about the importance of controlled breathing in situations of stress. inhale four, hold seven, exhale eight. repeat. in through his nose, out through his mouth. stand up straight; shoulders back, chest forward. be the man you want to see in control.
when adriana spoke up, it took him all of his newly regained self-control not to lash out at her, the condescension laced in her voice the way vulnerability had been last night. but, the technique he employed worked, and instead of losing control again, he listened carefully, only turning to face her when he heard the words âgossip girlâ. it explained a lot.Â
his suit, now sticking to his thigh, was starting to annoy him, and his bleeding hand was starting to hurt. the first, heâd have to deal with when the server returned with a new suit, but the second he could only ignore. ball his fist, and ignore it.
âthat,â he started, weighing whether or not he should say what he wanted to, then going for it eventually. âthat explains a lot. perhaps even more than just your actions.â he let the words hang in the air, hoping that she would understand â that sheâd connect what he just said to the cold words heâd shared with her earlier. he wanted to keep the barrier up between them, but he didnât want to cause her unnecessary hurt. not after the explanation of gossip girl, anyway. this way, she could decide for herself how much of his earlier words had been motivated by himself, and how many had been motivated by nothing else but sheer self-defense for the both of them.
then, more formal than necessary, and after swallowing hard, abraxas spoke up once more. âi apologize for the outburst. it was unprofessional, and it will not happen again.â it was strange for him to talk to talk to her like that, even in private, but it was his default type of speech to fall back on if he felt cornered. âi will have to wait here for a new suit, and a bandage. but after that, i guarantee you that we will go out there, and we will make everyone forget what i just let happen.â
there was a silence between them that pleaded for vulnerability. yet, abraxas, so tall and so proud, remained formal and professional -- a juxtaposition to the moody, violent side she had seen of him. adriana was neither blind nor confused, she knew this was his way of protecting the last bits of his ego that had been left. she had seen the side of him that nobody else had seen -- the side that lost control, and for a single moment, for a fraction of a second she felt sorry for abraxas. for the trouble she had put him in.
slipping a small tissue she carried with her out of her pocket, she handed it over in a small act of kindness. âhere-- it should help with the. . . with the blood,â she pretended not to see it, and in truth a part of her wanted to caress him and tend to his wounds, but she never would have allowed herself. maybe a part of her wanted to say i love you, to say i need you, but she didnât. she held herself back and watched him as she handed the tissue over, fingers careful as not to touch his, for his touch would be poisonous to her well-being, and it would make her feel things she didnât.
trying to make up for the awkwardness between them, she instantly touched on the subject of gossip girl. it was a good distraction and they both stood on the same page about it -- for a change. perhaps it would make for good conversation, albeit stressful to mention, considering it had been the cause of this entire mess they were in. âi beg your pardon for earlier, too,â she glanced down, and then regained composure, staring into his soul, âperhaps we both did and said things we had not meant to,â a sad smile curled at the corner of her lips, like a prayer, like an apology.Â
âthere is no us. there is no âweâ in this story, but perhaps you and i can find some peace if we manage to catch whoever is behind these little tricks theyâre playing on us. it wasnât just me. theyâre messing with my sister, with my family,â then, she spoke with passion, and suddenly her blood boiled with rage.Â
ânobody messes with my family.â