🌿 @adrienishuman - Tumblr Blog

For those of you who don't know, I'll no longer be active on this blog! Long story short: More integration happened, so I wanted a different blog because It Feels Like I Am A Whole New Person. So, you can find me (and my terrible, horrible art) on @dacecase!

#🌿

enigmaticpink

Some pastel pride hearts

Like/reblog if using

gretchensinister

Giving someone six geese (a-laying, and thus in full protect-the-nest mode), much less SEVEN SWANS, does not seem to me, to be, per se, an act of true love

murakel

turing-tested

do u ever see an animal sitting in front of a heater and you're like 'thats exactly where god said you were supposed to be'

parakeet

that adhd feel when u

parakeet

when u

parakeet

three-dogs-in-a-trenchcoat

2020 will be a good year

Cause it's two natural 20s and that means whatever you'll do, you'll do with success

jncera

When i was little my parents used to tell me how i was raised by bears and i actually believed them for the longest time. Then my dad got me this mug last year and said, “Don’t ever forget who you are.”

uhhuhhhhhh

why the fuck would they tell you that you were raised by bears they’re literally your parents like they raised you????

jncera

ok so here’s the full story:

one day when I was a wee lil lad like maybe 1 yr old, my mom had to go to the doctor’s office, which was located on top of a hill in the middle of a forest. while my mom was inside with the doctor, i went outside to play among the flowers. then came a wandering mama bear with her 2 cubs, and the cubs saw me and we started playing together. the mama bear decided i should come home with them, so i did! so i lived for a few years with mama and papa bear and my bear siblings, running around on all fours and generally acting like a baby bear. one time we even got into a fight with a wolf family. but we won of course.

well, my human parents were quite worried. where on earth did i disappear off to? so they started searching the forest, and someone reported seeing a human child with a family of bears. so my parents went and found my bear family, and my human dad and papa bear even got into a fight, which explains the scar on the back of my human dad’s neck. but my human parents won, and took me back home. you can take the human child from the bear family, but you can’t take the bear out of the child! so that’s the explanation for why i liked playing outdoors as a kid and i enjoyed running around the house on all fours like a bear cub and jumping on furniture.

STUPID STORY RIGHT?? Like who in their sane mind would actually believe this? but my parents told this to me continuously from when i was idk 3 yrs old until 5ish and it explained so much like the scar on my dad’s neck and why i loved animals so much and running around like a four legged wild thing. and so my toddler-brain just accepted it as truth bc at that age, everything your parents tell you is true and who was i to question my all-knowing parents.

now why did they tell me this anyway? because why the fuck not. who doesn’t like trolling their tiny partial-clones? it probably gave them such a good chuckle that i was such a gullible little shit. they tried to pull the same shenanigan with my sister when she was young and told her she was raised by monkeys. didn’t work on her though. and that’s when my parents realized i was probably just really dumb..

jncera

i’m screamin my sister just sent me a screenshot of this post on instagram i can’t believe this is my legacy

jncera

OH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS when i got married last december during her speech my mom told EVERYONE THIS STORY. it was so wild. for a few minutes near the beginning everyone was so confused and thinking “where is this going? is this real?? this couldn’t possibly be real” and i was just like oh god here we GO

grimelords

the internet is a cauldron that you speak your wishes into and then watch on in horror as they come bubbling to the surface

quoms

The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and rigid conformity. These parents all want to name their child something unique, because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice… ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative possible names. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and in fact is directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to “choose” between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc.

itd-be-gay-if-you-didnt

Somebody’s third eye is WIDE the fuck open??!!!!!!!

earlgraytay

okay so there’s actually a reason behind this that isn’t just “white people are terrible and really really boring!” it’s to do with Mormon culture. specifically: the fireworks you get when sexist expectations and terrible petty drama collide.

most of Those White People Baby Names are originally Mormon baby names. they’re chosen (or invented) by women in Utah; they tend to filter out to the rest of the world through things like “mommy blogs” and “baby name books” and “parent forums.”

you know how every culture has a “hey, welcome to the world, lil baby!” ritual? the mormon version of that is called a baby blessing. the baby’s father, and a handful of other men in the family, go up in front of the congregation during a Sunday service and say a special prayer. it begins by reciting the baby’s full name and then saying “I give you a name and a blessing.” It’s not something you can avoid doing- if you try, people will think that you’re trying to hide something. baby blessings are mandatory, and everyone in the congregation will watch and judge you.

because of this, your baby’s name gets a good bit more of a spotlight in Mormon culture than it does in secular culture, and that’s saying something.

Mormon women start picking out names for their hypothetical future kids in fourth or fifth grade and snipe at each other for picking “weird” or “bad” ones. it’s something that’s supposed to be in the back of your head long before you have a kid. and because people will judge you if you pick a name that’s “too boring” or “too weird”, it is already an intricate dance of finding something that’s “interesting” enough to pass muster but not so “interesting” your kid won’t survive kindergarten.

and that dance becomes even more intricate when Baby Name Drama gets involved.

see, because you’re supposed to put so much time into your baby’s name, a lot of women get… overinvested, let us say. the perfect name they picked for their baby is THEIR baby’s name and NO ONE ELSE’S. if you so much as dare to BREATHE that you’re naming your baby/pet/favourite laptop the same thing, you have STOLEN their BABY’S NAME.

so here’s the thing… say you really wanted to name your daughter Amy. You love the name, it’s classic, it’s cute, it’s perfect for your little girl-to-be… and then your sister-in-law gets pregnant and LOUDLY ANNOUNCES that she’s naming her baby Amy! and you know for a fact that she’s the type of person to throw a massive petty shitfit over you STEALING her BABY’S NAME. your family will take sides. her family will take sides.

if you want to avoid the drama, and you’re dead-set on naming your daughter-to-be Amy… well, then you name your daughter Aimee, or Aimi, or Aimy. It’s not the same name, it’s pronounced the same but it’s not the exact same name, so you can shut up, sis-in-law.

from what I understand a lot of the Crazy Name Spellings came from this root- “it’s not Kaylee, it’s Kayleigh, I swear I didn’t steal your idea”- and then once it became a trend, people named their kids that to be ~trendy~ just like they did with every other stupid trend.

but the root cause of Terrible Trendy Misspelt Baby Names has very little to do with white people being boring and conformist, and certainly nothing to do with capitalism. it’s a good old fashioned case of a) sexist expectations warping women’s behaviour into really really stupid shapes and b) Petty Small Community Drama.

quoms

This is a terrific addition to this post that I don’t think actually contradicts my main idea all that much

blanca-angelica-loveless-deacti

Its explains Reneesme I’ll tell you that.

jenroses

Not mormon, and the name in question is no longer in use, but I can tell you exactly how this happened for me, in 1993, having grown up a Jennifer because I was born in 1972 and if you were born in 1972, you were a Jennifer, or if your mother was particularly daring, Jessica or Kimberly. Okay, fine, there were some Melissas in there, but I’m TELLING you, I was in choir in 7th grade and there were 30 kids and not only were SIX of us Jennifers (the boys were all steve, matt, jason and dave, no exceptions*) but I think three of us had the last initial. I changed my name to a funky spelling of Jamie in the 8th grade I was so fed up with it. So come 1992, I’m young, I’m pregnant, we’re trying to decide on a name. Katie is almost right but not quite right, and then it hits me, kaylee. Now, I was a couple years ahead of this curve, I thought, but we didn’t have moms due date clubs or the internet at this point, so how the fuck was I to know? Okay, but my kid’s dad was an expat of Georgia, and said, “No, Kaylee is too southern. The name is fine, just don’t spell it that way.” What ensued was a long, drawn out permutation negotiation. Kay can be spelled Kay, Kae, Ka, Kai, Cae, Cay, Ca, Cei, Quay and a handful of others I’ve mercifully forgotten. Lee can be done Lee, Li, Lea, Ley, Lie, Ly, leah, leigh, and probably a few more. The ex wanted god help me Caeleigh. I said it was a horrible thing to do to a perfectly innocent newborn.

I couldn’t stand anything involving a gh, he wouldn’t have anything to do with kay or lee or a y or ie. We ended up on Kailea.

Which they changed to a 3 letter name with my blessing, after living with it for 20+ years, because we showed up to their brownie troop and in that brownie troop there were: Kailea, Kaylen, Hailey, Bailey, Catelyn, Korrine, and Emily. And another Kaylee in first grade. God help me. School was just LIKE that for them, all the fucking way through. So when they said they were changing their name, I was like, “I don’t blame you a bit.”

I’m still thinking about changing Jennifer.

* this is only a very slight hyperbole. When I saw that there were no two kids with the same first name in my youngest child’s class, I nearly fainted. And just the boy’s names. There really were 6 jennifers in 7th grade choir. I don’t think any class I was in ever had less than 5 through all of elementary, and there were several dozen Jennifers in my graduating class. Sometimes people will ask my name and I’ll say, “I was born in 1972. Guess.”