Hi! How do you tell if a guy likes you? As in like likes you as more than a friend. Like, what are some things he'll do or say around you that could hint that he's interested in you as more than a friend? Thank you! :)
Hey! Well, there are a lot of factors that tie into a guy’s actions and words that can indicate a romantic interest. I will write you up a little list of things I’ve noticed and read, but remember that they are all variables. Each guy is different, and will therefore each display their attraction differently. And each girl (or other guy) is different, too. It all depends on the personalities of the two and the situation they are in.
All right, so here are a few things to watch out for to determine whether or not he might be romantically interested in you:
His posture (body language). Both guys and girls subconsciously send out signals that can show attraction (and dislike). If he is facing towards you a lot or his feet are pointed towards you when sitting or standing, that could be a sign that he’s interested. It indicates openness to what you have to say. If he sits or stands up straight around you, it’s a subconscious attempt on his part to look strong and manly (because that’s a large concern for men, for whatever reason). If he often leans in towards you and rarely turns his back (when you’re in the same room or group), that could also mean he’s interested. But if his arms are crossed, he’s slouching, he turns away a lot, or he just looks bored, he’s probably not interested. Slouching could just mean that he’s tired or comfortable around you, though, and slouched shoulders can mean he is interested in what you have to say. By watching guy friends around a girl I know they like, I’ve also noticed that they puff out their chest slightly around the girl. It’s a subconscious attempt to appear stronger and more like a protector to the woman.
His eyes. Eyes are a big part of attraction, especially for guys. They are usually very visual. They can show more than almost any other sign or clue. Does he look directly at you when you speak? Does he hold that eye contact? Do you catch him staring at you? These are all signs that he might like you, or is at least interested in what you have to say. If you catch him staring at you (and you are interested in him), stare back at him for a moment and smile. This lets him know you’re flattered and interested. If the guy is shy, though, his gaze might dart away quickly. This doesn’t mean he’s not interested––he’s just shy, and will likely keep stealing glances. Also, pay attention the next time you see each other. If his eyes widen slightly or his face seems to “open” more, he’s likely interested. When you greet each other, take note of how long you hold eye contact. If you maintain eye contact for even a fraction of a second longer than you would with any other person, then there’s likely some interest there. Also, there is scientific proof that a person’s pupils dilate when they see someone they are attracted to. This isn’t a great one to test, though, because of shifts in lighting and such. You can also appear creepy for looking deeply into someone’s eyes to see their pupils, too, so avoid that. I’ve tried it before and found it pretty hard to tell, especially if the person has darker-colored eyes. It can work better for blue or green eyes, but it’s still difficult to focus on the pupil without appearing creepy. If the opportunity to look into his eyes arises, then great––utilize it. But if not, don’t force it. There are plenty of other signs.
How much he touches you. Most guys are very touch-orientated when it comes to girls they are romantically interested in. Does he seem to find any excuse to [appropriately] touch you? Actions such as frequent high-fives, handshakes, and hugs are a very good sign. If he scoots his chair closer to yours, “accidentally” brushes fingers/arms/hands with you, or other similar actions, he is very likely interested, too. A good way to test the touch barrier, I’ve found, is by lightly brushing your hand on his arm or “accidentally” bumping legs with him under the table. If he keeps his arm/leg/whatever you touched where it is or moves closer, he’s probably interested. However, if he seems to shy away or squirm under you’re touch, he’s probably not interested. If he’s shy, though, he might jump a little and act nervous. This doesn’t mean he’s not into you––he’s probably just not used to touching a lot. If you’re repeatedly getting this response and he acts distant, though, it’s time to stop and move on. If he does any of that to you, and you like him, make sure to respond appropriately. If his leg bumps yours, whether accidental or “accidental”, try keeping it slightly against his and see if he moves away immediately or not.
How he acts around you. While some guys will act pretty much the same around everyone, most will have a habit––whether they know it or not––of treating you a little differently than everybody else. Does he seem slightly nervous when you’re talking to him? Does he speak quickly and sometimes about really random subjects? Does he make dumb or slightly-gross jokes? If he seems suddenly shy or slightly jumpy, that’s a good sign. It means you make him a little nervous, and he wants to impress you. Speaking quickly and about a lot of sort of pointless things is also a good sign. Again, it shows that you’re making him nervous, and he is kind of just saying anything to keep the conversation going. Also, surprisingly enough, gross or slightly-weird jokes are also a sign he might like you. While some guys can successfully keep vulgar out of their mouthes around girls they like, many of them just can’t stop altogether. If he’s trying to impress you, he might just say the first thing that comes to mind––and sometimes, it’s something gross. I heard a disturbing amount of bathroom jokes from a guy that I know liked me about a year ago. This happens naturally, especially if his other guy friends are around. It’s pretty natural for guys to make bathroom or body (usually penis) jokes around each other, and it’s hard for many of them to just completely stop in a person’s presence. If he seems to flirt with you a lot in person, watch him the next time you’re around him, even if you’re not in the same social group. Watch especially how he treats other girls you know he isn’t interested in. While he might flirt with another girl to make you jealous, you can usually tell when he’s doing so just to induce jealousy. If you really want to know, leave the room and ask a friend (preferably female) to observe him. If he notices you’re gone, does he keep flirting, or does he disengage or tone it down? If he does, it usually means that he was only flirting to make you jealous (stupid, I know).
How much he’s around you. Both guys and girls do this thing where they “coincidentally” end up in the same place at the same time as their crush. It’s a little stalker-ish, but most of us do it at least a little (I’m guilty of doing it––but hey, can I help it if I “somehow” know most of his school schedule? A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do). Does he seem to “coincidentally” show up outside of the classroom you were just in? Or just end up at that coffee shop “by chance”? If he seems to know your schedule, he’s likely interested. Especially if he’s figured out your school schedule if you’re not in many classes with him. This shows that he took the time to figure it out so he could be around you more often.
How his friends act. A lot of times, when someone tells their friends that they like someone, his or her friends will do whatever they can to hint around and push them together. If he sees you in the hallway and his friends start nudging, smirking at, or whispering to him, it’s a hint that they might know something you don’t fully know yet (i.e. that he likes you). I know from personal experience that this is a thing. I once liked a guy who I later found out liked me back, and I would always notice a couple of his closer guy friends start lightly pushing him towards me and making suggestive comments when I was around. It’s not everything, but it’s definitely something to take into account.
How much he teases you. Believe it or not, banter-y teasing and light insults are a guy’s way of showing that he’s interested in you. It can often be a sign that he wants to test out his wit or jokester side around you in a way that singles you out. This may seem weird, but I can say for a fact that this is true with a lot of guys. Both from first-hand experience and watching my guy friends flirt with a girl I know he likes, I can safely say that light teasing is a definite sign. He usually will try to pick subjects he feels you won’t be offended by. If he does actually offend you, though, don’t just take it––let him know, and if he actually does like you, he should have no problem with stopping. Also keep your ears open for any jokes he might make regarding dating, kissing, or doing anything even slightly-romantic with you. Those are his way of testing the waters to see how you’ll react. If you reply awkwardly because you’re taken aback or surprised, do not fear––he will likely try it a few more times to continue gauging your interest.
Again, it all depends on the guy’s personality, but I wish you the best of luck in figuring it out! Let me know if anything ever comes of it––I’d love to hear about it!
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