"Story of My Life"

Insider of Me Part III

[adzre]

Hey June ...

U are finally here. Term 2 has been so merciless with endless sos, many many things to do all at the same time. Its like you wish you could take it easy BUT at the same time you want to challenge yourself more with the different portfolios you are holding.

You handle different projects concurrently whilst still trying to explain to the kid with needs why he cannot seek justice by calling them names or telling the older kid that she needs to talk more to her family and share her struggles or just ensuring that the other kid who refuse to leave home for anything is still alive and contactable.

And at the same time, you are endlessly doing RND on why is this kid acting up for no reason or trying to understand why this set of parents are so like that with their girl to the point she becomes overwhelmed while also brainstorming what else you could do to help that younger boy who is just slow in his learning but want to share all the hot gossip about the class antics.

And of course, also you asking or reaching out to that colleague but they seem to be either on your side or just plainly seeking quick help to please bring that one child out of their class so they can continue to teach the other 30++ students.

So many SOS call, so many antics, multiple meltdowns and act up.

You know you r just you but please know you matters. Thank You Jan to May for bringing the best out of me and challenging me and I am still here still know I can and I want to be where I am now.

I know I have done my very best for the first half of the year and now it is time for me to recharge.

Looking forward to my trips. InshaAllah ameen2😎🎉🩵🤘🏽

#schoolout #hellojunebreak

[adzre]

somehow thots abt you seem more today.

praying for you my dear friend to always smile🫠

#eh

[adzre]

17th Syawal - halfway through this festive month. This is the month where you get to catch up with relatives and just pray the best for them. This is the month too where all I want is to reconnect and be happy and be at peace BUT of course with every Raya, there will always be drama.

Besides my usual family drama which I must say I have come to an acceptance stage that is I will go along with what my parents want but at the same time to what I can. If I am unhappy or really cannot at that moment , I will just say NO. I tell myself that I am doing this to make my parents be at peace and for me not to be rude to them. Of coz I have limits too hence I will listen to my heart. Things are akward but I move on-take one day at a time. Told my parents that to keep on praying for the best and InshaAllah if HE meant it to happen it will.

On another note, it truly baffles me how some people can just completely ignored visiting people whom you supposed to. Like HELLO where is the respect?! Yes you may say I am old fashioned and have a traditionalist mindset but to me this has got nothing to do with the change of time. It comes down to your MANNERISM which obviously you people seem to lacking. Really sad actually. I mean like you all are educated people and yet the brain seem to be missing of values. Truly show how you people work. I pray that realization hits you all. I cannot even brain what did I or we do to make you all ignore or maybe forgotten that we exist. Oh well clearly you people do not value us as much as we do for you hence it is time to stop. You people truly are not worth priotising. Not my loss at all. All the best. Bye.#removetoxicpeople #mymentalwellness #beatpeace

[adzre]

It has been 2 years since we last met or spoken but U are still very much remembered.

Always having that little hope that we will bump into each other just to see that smile of yours.

Nevertheless, I pray U r well and alwaz surrounded by ur love ones.

Take care my dear best friend. Never forgotten.

Miss U #eh

[adzre]

Ramadhan🤲🏼💜

Alhamdullilah a month full of blessings.

A month where I can reset,realign and be at peace.

A month where I place my utmost priority to be a much better version of myself as a Muslimah a humble servant to HIM.

Ya Allah swt- may all our deeds and taubat be accepted by you. Grant us all the barakah & protection by YOU. Put warmth,kindness,sabr and peacefulness in our all that we do Ya Allah swt.

Thank You Ya Rabb for another day. I love YOU♥️

[adzre]

Jan 2026:

Alhamdullilah 2025 has left us and its another whole new year.

Back to work mode full swing. New students. Last 2 weeks were still warming up. These year P1 kiddos are truly a different breed. I would have to say among all the P1s, this batch is more matured, more forthcoming and will ask questions bravely.

Another change; the CKM took over my school. Not an easy change but I will say I am blessed..Our vendor quite good and the food not bad. Healthy but flavour ful. So i m blessed.

As usual, another year is here means new renewed passion for me to fulfill my work sincerely and with the utmost dedication. I want to give my best and keep on challenging myself.

InshaAllah 2026 will be new adventures at work snd pesonally too. To more work hard and play hard and more travel.

I wanna continue to a better muslimah with every new day that is here. Always think the best of others. Give prayers to those far in sight but always near at heart.

Time may has passed but memories stay on. InshaAllah if it has been written, we will meet again under HIS conditions.

In the meantime, stay humble everyone🤍🩵🫶🏼

[adzre]

Last Month of 2025:

Alhamdullilah,it is December already. How time passed. In about 3 weeks time, a new year dawns upon us. Let me take some time to reflect on 2025.

I would say this is the year where I am more reflective of my actions, my feelings. Not that before this year, I did not reflect at all. More of I see things from a different POV nowadays. Not from my usual but from all the different people around me. Yes, i still consider pple feelings but I do not get too overly bothered if they do not vibe with me.

I have come to peace that it is ok to slow down but still get things done accurately. It is allright when people energy is not the same as mine as long that energy is varied and met in the middle. There are things that you do not really have to find out why. Just let it be. Instead focused on the things I am good at and do it well. At the same,Yes be explorative and pitch that idea; if it gets accepted try it. Mistakes will be made but lessons will be learnt and from there I will be a better person inshallah.

Honestly,I am just grateful to Allah swt for giving me all these blessing. The least I could do in return is follow his teachings and be a better Muslimah each day inshallah.

For now..let me retreat for a well deserved vacay to immerse in Allah swt beauty before getting ready for another wonderful year.

Take care everyone and stay awesome🩵♥️🎉

[adzre]

Has been more than a year since we last spoken but you are still thought of.

My known stranger......

[adzre]

Its finally Sept holidays. The past 10 weeks has been craaazy, hectic and full of drama. I have to admit this has been the most heaviest term I ever had gone through.

From the several super complex cases to my ideas being rejected many a times to me trying to find peace and stop overthinking of people who does not vibe so much with me to shifting expectations of others just so I stay sane plus the thought of those that matters to me and making sure that at home I stay rooted to HIM and working towards a better servant of his always amidst all the chaos.

Nevertheless amidst of this bustle, I told myself to appreciate those who look out for me. Especially those who check in with me amidst all those gung ho happy go lucky persona. Thank You for wanting to speak to me. Thank you for hearing me out without any judgement. Thank you for accepting me as I am and thank you for being here.

Even in all this noise, my mind wanders and my heart skipped a beat when September comes along. Somehow this time of the year makes me flashback more. Make me hope just maybe just maybe.

To the person that I may never see or even hear again : Happy birthday my dear friend. I pray for you to be blessed with all the Barakah given by HIM. Stay awesome always. Remember you are a wonderful custodian to your love ones. N maybe just maybe, may we meet again under HIS good circumstances. Inshallah ameen2🥲😎

N with that, I m gonna a take a breather this week to rest, rejuvenate and just recharge before Term 4 begins for another 10 weeks. Ooohmmm🤘🏽🫶🏼

[adzre]

After many many months of silence,I still think of you in the hope that just for one day, we get to meet and have a good conversation. and just maybe that I am in your thots and prayers every once a while like you have been in mine.

YOU are still a precious human being to me. Please know that.

Take care my dear friend -always here waiting🤘🏽💜 #missingmybestfriendlots #eh

[adzre]

Last day of the school holiday before Hello Term 3 and I m just chilling. Excited to be gg bk to work actually. You might say I m crazy but I m really someone who looks fwd to the work routine. But do not get me wrong,I love love my holidays but its more of those kind of "work hard play hard" kind of mindset. Hehe.

Neverthless,I has a great June break spending time with love ones and finally visiting Taipei, Taiwan. It was an interesting trip definitely. Managed to visit some of the touristy places but I know there are more places that are still left to be discovered that i guess will have to return to TPE for a round 2 soon.

Now, time to focus for a Semester 2. N i look fwd to give my best at work and at home to be the best I could be inshallah. Lets work hard me!!!

#byeschoolholidays #hellosem2

[adzre]

Hello June holidays!!

Time to slow down.

Time to sleep in a bit more.

Time to de-clutter, reorganised stuffs.

Time to do things that I have been saying later.

Time to not do anything at all.

Time to reflect and realigned past and present thoughts.

Time to start focus on the travel destination.

The excitement is near.

I deserve this break.

InshaAllah I will come back a more energised and refreshed version of me.

[adzre]

Almost a year but the shock is still felt. Much lesser but it is still there.

Hope thee is doing fine and maybe just maybe I do come across your mind.

I wish you well always coz you are someone that will forever be etched deeply.

Take care.

InshaAllah may we meet again under Allah swt good circumstances.

#missingyoustill

[adzre]

I need to breathe.

I do not like this awful feeling whenever mama mentions his and wife name. Even being informed in advance I guess still does not make me prepared for their presence.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I supposed to accept as if nothing has happened? Am I to step up and be the big sister and embrace them?

But honestly I cannot. How could I with that nonsensical attitude. How could I pretend to be all ok with them when I am obviously not.

Seriously, the last time you came was on eve of Raya and you guys were shouting under my void deck. When he came up, we try to have a decent conversation to advise him but he shut us off saying he knows his wife better. N that's it.

Raya came along, no forgiveness no nothing. Only a recent videocall to wish me happy birthday one weke later as if he kannna forced. Like seriously do not do it for the sake of doing it. Like so not Salam just for the sake of Salam. What is this.

And especially to the wife, issit you got no shame no sense. It is truly shocking how both of you comes to my house as if nothing happening but only Allah swt knows best.

Yes, we had to go out. Coz being in the same space with that nonchalant expression of theirs just pissed me off like seriously respect gone.

I had to calm the wrath of my other half as he feels it too. Keep telling him I do not need this drama n it's not helping when he keeps saying he wants to blast them n all. I m too tired for all these bullshit drama please. Spent so many years from my late teens till late 30s with all this unnecessary drama.. I am done.

But when we chose to flee, the parents now become unhappy with us. Words of sarcasm coupled with black faces greeted me. Mama, can't u see, we had to go because if not things will just get ugly.

I truly have no idea till when or how things can be better.

As long those two are still like that with those mindset and attitude, I guess we just cannot. Yes, we redha. Yes we try to understand But come on already.. Do something, bring yourself to HIM.

Do things for your own good too.

To my parents : pls forgive us for leaving.. We would rather not be in the same space as them as long their attitude is the same.

Ya Allah swt, pls forgive me and oppa for feeling like this towards our sibling. Pls give us softness to not feel angry or sore..

For now i'm just tired....... 😭

[adzre]

Deep down inside, I wished there was a proper Goodbye but Allah swt knows best.

Dear best friend, hope you are fine. This past two months has been extremely harder with images of you appearing more.

InshaAllah, if we r meant to meet, it will be in his circumstances.

Ameen. 💕

#eh #missingyoustill

[adzre]

Still. #eh

[adzre]

Rama-Done 2k25

Alhamdullilah.. So fast this Ramadhan passes us by n it's almost ending. On the 26th day liao.

It has been such a beautiful month, being able to earn more pahala as much as I could in all my small ways. Sad that Ramadhan is leaving us soon. Oh wells, Raya is to be celebrated but alwaz remember to be modest in all. Reminder to myself. 😁

Other than that, I just pray to HIM to keep giving me his blessing in terms of faith, health and peacefulness in all I do n for me to be a better Muslimah for HIM.

At the same time, I wish the best for the pple that matters to me including those that I have to let go ; may we still wish each other well & hopefully meet under his beautiful timing.

Not easy but I shalt do my best.

InshaAllah Ameen2 💕