Literally the Best Guardian Ever

Crack RP blog for Aegwynn of WoW

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

#a pity he’s gone though #he was rather handsome

*tries to resist the urge to grimace but completely fail at both the erotic novel and the mention of Barnes* Ah yes… Barnes… Well I mean if you’re interested in getting him back here, I’m sure we can make him return! I mean he’s probably not got much going for him now!

#As much as you and I like the silence#having plays written about us was great#wasn't it?

Hm, it was quite entertaining, and I have noticed the youths of today have all but forgotten our stories, resigning us prematurely to history! It couldn’t hurt for them to have a refresher in our epics in the form of a play or two. Why don’t you get in touch and see if he’ll accept another job? 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

#hm do you think the orc blood is why med'an has so many boyfriends#wow look at me actually being impressed by that squirt of a grandson for once!#how times change

*is just having the worst time right now despite the fact Aegwynn has been here around 5 minutes maximum* Mum please I do not need to hear any of this! You wouldn’t like it if I talked about anything like this to you!

#Can we just both get back to what we were doing and forget this conversation ever went this way

*rolls her eyes and tucks the coat over her arm* Well, I’ll get back to what I was doing, certainly, but you, sir, are in dire need of a shower. You probably have a small ecosystem thriving in all the cheeto dust stuck in your beard.

[guardianoftheparty]

#and don’t frown so much darling#it will give you wrinkles

*reflexively reaches up to touch his beard, and grimaces when he realises that yeah, it’s kinda nasty* Alright fine, I’ll shower. If you give me some privacy at least.

[aegwinner]

Good. I’ve got some anti-ageing cream in the cupboard it wouldn’t hurt to use either-- just a tiny bit, though. Seriously, it’s enchanted to actually reverse the flow of time slightly. You do not want to put too much of that on, believe me. *she flicks her wrist and materialises a clearly erotic novel* If you need me, I’ll be reading in the theatre. So lovely and quiet in there without Barnes! 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

#hm do you think the orc blood is why med'an has so many boyfriends#wow look at me actually being impressed by that squirt of a grandson for once!#how times change

*is just having the worst time right now despite the fact Aegwynn has been here around 5 minutes maximum* Mum please I do not need to hear any of this! You wouldn’t like it if I talked about anything like this to you!

#Can we just both get back to what we were doing and forget this conversation ever went this way

*rolls her eyes and tucks the coat over her arm* Well, I’ll get back to what I was doing, certainly, but you, sir, are in dire need of a shower. You probably have a small ecosystem thriving in all the cheeto dust stuck in your beard.

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

*has the foresight to at least look surprised at the question* Well no of course not mum! All that’s definitely far behind me, nothing to worry about!

*for some reason seems to accept that answer completely* Oh, good! I’d have to kill you otherwise, and I’m really not in the mood for that. Truth be told I’m still rather knackered after a lovely night with an orc woman on my way back here. 

[guardianoftheparty]

#i see why you had an interest in garona now #must run in the family

*looks aghast* Mum I really don’t need to know about all that! You’re my mother!

[aegwinner]

#also uh#weren't you rather against the concept of orcs previously#kept calling them savages?

Hm, I suppose you have a point there. Though, in the relevant context to my exciting night, if the word “savage” was used at all should not be used in any negative manner, if you know what I mean. 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

*has the foresight to at least look surprised at the question* Well no of course not mum! All that’s definitely far behind me, nothing to worry about!

*for some reason seems to accept that answer completely* Oh, good! I’d have to kill you otherwise, and I’m really not in the mood for that. Truth be told I’m still rather knackered after a lovely night with an orc woman on my way back here. 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

#and don’t swear at me medivh

*actually sits up properly, flicking his wrist to turn off the music using magic* Wait, did you just come back to find a coat? Seriously, you could have at least mention you were leaving for what, a year?

Well obviously I didn’t intend to be gone quite so long, dear. You know how it is, at my age you get comfy on the massage table at the goblin spa and before you know it, you’ve been asleep for twelve months!

[guardianoftheparty]

#racked up quite the bill while i was there i’ll tell you that much 

….Huh. So, are you planning on staying around for long now? I mean, a little warning would have been nice so I could have been… *looks around the mess of his room* …prepared I guess.

[aegwinner]

Oh please, your room is always a disgrace. But to answer your question, yes, I do plan on staying in Karazhan for a while-- provided you haven’t been possessed by Sargeras again, of course. *she narrows her eyes* You... haven’t been possessed again, have you? 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

#and don’t swear at me medivh

*actually sits up properly, flicking his wrist to turn off the music using magic* Wait, did you just come back to find a coat? Seriously, you could have at least mention you were leaving for what, a year?

Well obviously I didn’t intend to be gone quite so long, dear. You know how it is, at my age you get comfy on the massage table at the goblin spa and before you know it, you’ve been asleep for twelve months!

[guardianoftheparty]

*is currently in his room, crying and eating ice cream while listening to loud sad music*

[aegwinner]

*teleports in and looks around* Darling, have you seen my coat? I must’ve left it here somewhere…

[guardianoftheparty]

*shrieks* MUM??? WHAT THE FUCK WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME?!!?

[aegwinner]

#also can you NOT KNOCK??? PLEASE???

Oh, who knows. *she crosses the room and rifles through a wardrobe, eventually finding the missing coat* I knew it was here! Wonderful.

[guardianoftheparty]

*is currently in his room, crying and eating ice cream while listening to loud sad music*

[aegwinner]

*teleports in and looks around* Darling, have you seen my coat? I must’ve left it here somewhere...

[aegwinner]

Oh dear, seems I left for a number of years again. Oopsie. I’m sure my son isn’t too upset. 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

*is still very much against this* But I don’t want to go back to being a child! Why can’t you understand that, I’d rather just be an adult with a mum rather than a defenceless child with a mum! And I’m not lazy, I’m studying!!

*frowns and raises her hand, the dirty magazine Medivh had hidden in his book flying out from the pages. It incinerates as soon as it touches her hand* Ah yes, studying. Something has to be done about this. 

[guardianoftheparty]

*makes what sounds like a strangled shriek when Aegwynn burns his magazine* Mum! No! Stop, I’m a grown man, I don’t need you trying to police my actions!!

[aegwinner]

Evidently, you do. *she garners her strength and mutters a quick incantation, thrusting her palm out and zapping Medivh with magic. A cloud of colourful smoke fills the room, and before it clears Aegwynn’s watch beeps* Oh, bother. I’m needed. I’ll be back later. *ports out* 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

*is still very much against this* But I don’t want to go back to being a child! Why can’t you understand that, I’d rather just be an adult with a mum rather than a defenceless child with a mum! And I’m not lazy, I’m studying!!

*frowns and raises her hand, the dirty magazine Medivh had hidden in his book flying out from the pages. It incinerates as soon as it touches her hand* Ah yes, studying. Something has to be done about this. 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

*does not look happy at that, and jumps up in alarm* What?? No that doesn’t sound wonderful!! I don’t want to be a kid again, I want to be me!!

*rolls her eyes* Come now Medivh, how bad could it be? Its hardly as though you’re particularly busy right now. I’m trying to do a good thing for you. 

[guardianoftheparty]

This isn’t a good thing! Who wants to be turned back into a child again?? Would you like it if I told you I was going to age you back to being a baby or something like that??

[aegwinner]

I would be furious, of course, because you have no reason to do that. I, however, have a great reason-- this will help replace your traumatic childhood memories with more pleasant ones! Didn’t you always want a mother at that age? And really, you have the time for this. It would be good to get you doing something that isn’t lazing around in this dark, dingy room all day. *she gestures to Med’an, who is half-asleep on his book and still in his pyjamas* You’re even having a bad influence on him, your laziness has got so out of hand! 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty:

*does not look happy at that, and jumps up in alarm* What?? No that doesn’t sound wonderful!! I don’t want to be a kid again, I want to be me!!

*rolls her eyes* Come now Medivh, how bad could it be? Its hardly as though you’re particularly busy right now. I’m trying to do a good thing for you. 

[aegwinner]

*ports up to the library where Medivh and Med’an are quite happily minding their own business* Medivh, there you are! I have a wonderful idea! 

[guardianoftheparty]

*looks up from the book, pretty startled by her sudden appearance* Oh, uh, you do? What is it?

[aegwinner]

*looks exceptionally proud of herself, producing a spellbook from her robes* I’ve devised a spell that will allow you to, in a way, improve upon those terribly sad childhood memories of yours. Essentially remaking them, but happier this time. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? This time you’ll actually have the chance to have a proper mother in those important years. 

[aegwinner]

*ports up to the library where Medivh and Med’an are quite happily minding their own business* Medivh, there you are! I have a wonderful idea! 

[aegwinner]

@guardianoftheparty: *looks concerned, but doesn’t do anything to stop Aegwynn, not really knowing what he could do* Ok mum, you take care of yourself too. If you need anything…. yeah, just ask. I’m here for you. -- *looks as though she's about to reply in distress but doesn't, porting out before she could say anything*