idle musings

king || it/its || fallen angel

[aeirian]

my delusions of redemption have become much more prevalent in my daily routine. i thought i was fine being human, but i’m not. i miss my old self.

[aeirian]

i’m blending in much better than i thought; i’ve even started thinking much more like these humans. it’s confusing, but i’m getting there. i just hope i don’t lose my morality.

[aeirian]

embarrassing encounter

there was an awkward silence for a bit until you spoke up. my face was tinted a furious red— i’d never confessed to anyone what i was until you came alone, and i trusted you so much that i told you my biggest secret. “you’re an angel?” you had asked me. “no, i used to be.” “but angels aren’t real.” “just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not real.”

[aeirian]

i think i’ve fallen in love with a human. my phantom wings even fluttered ...

[aeirian]

beauty is pain, they say. mine was painless, the pain only came after my beautiful wings were ripped from my back and i was forced to live in seclusion.

[aeirian]

they laughed and pointed, making fun of my crude, makeshift wings i had crafted from the fallen feathers of my bird friends. these wings were fake, but they were the closest i had to my past life other than the real thing. i didn’t let their cruel words hurt me. they don’t know what it’s like.

[aeirian]

another divine being.

[aeirian]

fallen angel

it hurts where my wings used to be

i made a playlist,, it’s not finished but i’d like to share it with you all uwu

[aeirian]

i’m in love with the idea of love— almost as much as i’m in love with the idea that i’ll somehow return to my birth place.

[aeirian]

Sending love your way!

thank you!! that means a lot,, i definitely needed to hear that today ❤️

[aeirian]

treat me like trash because that’s all i’ll ever be; i’ll never be as happy as i did above.

[aeirian]

i feel a sort of kinship with the animals that inhabit the sky. i also feel strangely jealous, mourning my lack of ability to fly as freely as they do.

[aeirian]

memories.

i remember a man. he was just a blackened silhouette, as though he was eternally cast in shadow. i remember being afraid of him, threatened. he held my immortal life in his very hands. he knew of a way to bring me down. he eventually did, given that i’m now here on Earth in a mortal body.

[aeirian]

quick gesture drawing of arakiel / me. not ftu.

[aeirian]

i recognise and accept that i’m no longer an angelic being, that i’ve been cast down from the heavens and forced to live a life of pain and poverty because of my wrongdoings and sins.

but i can’t accept that i will never be an angel again. i will keep trying to regain my place as an archangel, no matter how many reincarnations it may take.

[aeirian]

my ulterior motive is giving back to those who have wronged me. to the helpless, frail humans on the wrong path to salvation. they need our assistance. what would they do without us, anyways?

[aeirian]

my mother and a couple of priests tried to perform an exorcism on me once, when this body was younger. little does she know, you cannot exorcise what was once an angel.