ao's new corner

Personal diary. OA / S&S and (D)C Doodles, animations and illustrations... once a year.

[aemiruo]

27-05-2026: I wrote 6 days before I wanted to stop spread negativity in this place. I want to keep my words and stop doing it.

All I want to say is this days has been okay, but today was different. It's not going well.

I got a notebook and I'm planning to write in there those bad and negative thoughts. I want to do it in serhlian. It will be a great exercise of my serhlian writing.

[aemiruo]

21-05-2025: I am aware of the lack of positivity I'm giving for a while. Since my system started failing again, my body and mind works in a slow pace. Even if nobody read my vent post I want to apologized. I will stop venting in this place and so the negativity to life and myself. My emotions run in a roller coaster that goes from "everything will be fine" to "I want my death right now". From pleasant to depression. I want to believe in me again, I want to keep drawing and creating..

Work has distracted me over unnecessary unpleasant thoughts but.. Tomorrow is a free day.

I have some things to do tho, still a little scared of what my mood will be.

[aemiruo]

19-05-2026: I think if death calls me tomorrow it wouldn't be that bad

[aemiruo]

No, perhaps I'm not

[aemiruo]

8-05-2026: This body of yours reminds me who fucking disgusting it is to be us. I hate this system drag me back to reality. I hate this.

[aemiruo]

The amount of changes that I has been experimented lately has destroyed my system once again. It was... bad. Terrible results of my exams and anemia as always, yet recovering already with some specials care. Little by little, we are forcing ourself to grow a stronger mind. The strongest than ever. We need this to protect the ones we love.

[aemiruo]

29-04-2026: am I allow to talk a little about myself?

I don't remember when was my last entry of "the personal diary" section in my page. Right now I am away from the place I considered my home, laying in the bed of my parents house.

I have been hidden secrets from everyone. I am actually a failure. This and last week I was trying to continue with art. Not job art exactly, not that bleak animation project from ko-fi but my own art.

I have been hours... Hours with the pen in my hand and do... Nothing.

Two weeks ago something happened in the so call home. Not only everything were breaking apart. My "job" has been giving me problems over unplayed shots and no contract. My motivation into this work dropped until the last layer of the earth, carrying with it my desire of keep animating. My headphones, my tablet, my back. All of that are not working right, not to say not working at all. It's bad.. And my stomach as well. My colon is, once again, shattering to breed.

But lately, nothing of that matters

Nothing matters

Nothing really matters

Because someone is worst than me

Something is worst than something I belong

Somewhere is worst that were I am

Something, somewhere, someone

Comes ahead my mere presence

And I cannot

I cannot keep going in

Today is 29-04

It was supposed to be a good day. But... Yeah.

[aemiruo]

I hate my job

[aemiruo]

Rough walking Cicle

Working on this animation. We are taking our time due health issues but we ARE working ;A; at least one hour per day dedicated to this project 

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[aemiruo]

Mood

[aemiruo]

KO-FI NEW GOAL

°My partner and I are working on an animation he planned a while ago. We will working and try to finish it before the year ends. I will post some of my part of the animation to help to bring interest on it.

°My tablet's cable is badly damaged, and the tablet itself is constantly malfunctioning. I need a stable one for my job and personal work.

°A couple days ago, my headphones gave up died completely. It tried to die countless times, but sadly, It died for good.

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[aemiruo]

Doomed... Whatever the hell they are.

[aemiruo]

I believe I need to find another job...

[aemiruo]

(D)C doodles

Im slowly getting back on drawing for me again. I say this every time but my job is consuming me. Since is animation, all I have left after work is rest my eyes and my hand leaving my PC and do another thing besides art. I want to start this month my vgen page and ko-fi with a new goal (another animation)

The last one left me with disgusting taste in my mouth. I want to do another to feel better with myself

And of course, continuing writing this story

[aemiruo]

Helloow

[aemiruo]

Yri doodle

[deltabyss]

Light mode! Dark mode!! The glow up!! It's showtime!!