Sin título

[assigned-boyking-at-birth]

One of them will have to get finished eventually, right???

[aenkamelie]

*Kakashi and Iruka mid-act after a mission*

Kakashi: Wait... Wait a moment

Iruka: Huh? Is something wrong?

Kakashi: *falls on top of Iruka* I'm getting a leg cramp!

Iruka: Ouch... *starts to laugh*

Kakashi: I'm sorry, I wanted it to be special....

Iruka: It is, but let me give you a massage so it doesn't hurt so much, love.

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: What if you left me abandoned halfway up the mountain to protect me from Beyoncé?

Geralt: It's been five years, get over it!

[aenkamelie]

Iruka: *in the first episode* I used to be like you!

Naruto: *throughout the whole series* I used to be like you!

[aenkamelie]

Iruka: *grading exams* I'm fine!

Kakashi: you've been in the bathroom for three days!

Iruka: I'M FUCKING FINE!

[artistsfuneral]

Ciri: I think I'm starting my period.

The witchers, aghast:

Jaskier, who grew up with sisters: I've been trained for this moment my entire life. I got this.

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: *Taking out a couple of feminine pads for the occasion* Do you use winged ones or chamomile-scented ones?

[aenkamelie]

Geralt: What are you doing up in that tree?

Jaskier: Eating pears

Yennefer: But that's an apple tree!

Jaskier: Well, I brought my own pears!

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: *looking in the mirror with long hair* Do I look ugly gay like that?

Ciri: Geralt has longer hair and he's not gay.

Geralt: Yes I am, but not because I have long hair.

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: Hey Geralt! I just met some amazing people, although the only problem is that they're too organized....

Geralt: That's a fucking cult, Jaskier!

[amorkuku]

[aenkamelie]

Dick is the best father

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: Are You okey?

Geralt: Yeah... *Looking at the sky with anger*

Jaskier: It doesn't seem like it *looking at the sky too*

Roach: *Above the roof of a house*

Jaskier: I'll bring the apples...

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier: I don't want to cook today... I wish someone would do it for me...

Radovid: *Taking out his credit card* Pizza or sushi?

[nullabye]

Geralt accidentally developing Dad Humor, even when he wasn't actively invested in or looking for Ciri- it just happens by rule of the universe

like this,

Jaskier falls from a tree, off a small ledge, down a short hill

Jask: Geraaaalt, I've hurt my leg!

Geralt: sigh, fine. Let me look

...hmm...

Geralt: we'll have to amputate

Jaskier: GERALT

-one more-

Jaskier: EUGH- Geralt! There's a nasty bug on my pillow

Geralt: let me see...ah, it's a brain sucker

Jask: brain sucker?!

Geralt: yes, don't worry

*he flips over and lies down again*

Geralt: it starved

please please please, Geralt dad humor

[aenkamelie]

Jaskier was Geralt's practice child to be a father

[aenkamelie]

Radovid taking advantage of the slightest fight between Geralt and Jaskier to make them finish and be able to stay with the bard.

Radovid: *approaching Jaskier* And remember that in a relationship there will always be problems, problems that you will avoid if you were single.

Geralt: *Appearing* I already told you we're not going to break up!

Radovid: I still have hope!

[ad-wills]

all of it? all of it. I'll take all of it please

[aenkamelie]

This also applies to fanfic themes

[aenkamelie]

-So then, would I be the lover if I go out with Jaskier?— asked the prince mockingly, —Since I am the one who has his nights and his passion?—

—You wouldn't be the lover since he and I are just friends—the witcher grumbled as he crossed his arms —He is free to sleep with whomever he wants.

—And yet it hurts you that I'm with him. — He moved a little closer to Geralt —You had your chance, warlock, now let me enjoy mine—

[aenkamelie]

I literally can't imagine any Mitski song fitting Jaskier, he could write hundreds of scenarios where he at least has one verse as the centerpiece, Washing Machine Heart? Obviously after the mountain, Pearl: every time Jask saw Yenn with Geralt, Class 2013? A trauma from the past HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE WRITING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

*throw desk*