part two

세상을 다 가진 느낌

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“yeah.. yeah, i–”

“i just didn’t think to see it like that. i thought i was doing the right thing by giving her distance. but just– fuck. fuck it, you’re right. but where do i even start, how do i even-” derek wasn’t sure when he became such a bumbling mess. the one who always kept it together, in line and evenly measured, as precise as the grid marks on his skillfully planned blueprints. clara was a literal moment of clarity. he would’ve given up, at one point, he thought.

“derek -- no, now is not the time to regret and reflect. now is the time to prove to her you love her and want to stay by her side. tell her the only way you’ll sign the papers is if she spends one more month with you. one last month and if she still doesn’t feel the same then you’ll let her go.”

“you can do this, i believe in you.” clara and derek were always a team, even when growing up. she would never let this fail. she never believed in true love, but she believed in derek’s and vivian’s. “i will be thee for you every step of the way. i will help you fix your marriage.”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“how many times have we done that?– talk, i mean.”

“i’m not sure. i’m no better at this than you are.”

“a lot -- lost count. but it’s been a year and we haven’t had the talk since then. that’s a big gap.”

“do we make out? have shitty break up sex? do we fly to vegas and get married? what the fuck do you want out of this, carter?” she looks directly at him, a bit drunk. “do you still want me?”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“maybe i was wrong – okay? either way, i just, i’m happy you got to do what you wanted to do. there’s no changing the fact that i messed up and for that i– i’m sorry. i’m sorry.”

she didn’t know, truly, whether she made the right decision. it got hard and she ran, plain and simple. isaac was willing to try, but she withdrew herself, selfish to protect herself from any hurt. she was wrong to withhold the effort. maybe if she didn’t they could’ve saved the relationship. even after all this time, he was optimistic. how could she deserve someone like him?

“i haven’t been alright since and i-i don’t know if i ever will be. yeah, some people will call it a high school relationship and look past it, but i never did. i never for once thought i didn’t want to be with you. and i know this may seem odd, weird in fact -- but i thought we would have eventually got married -- isn’t that why we date? to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

“and i thought i found that with you, but i guess i was wrong.” he was still so hurt and angry, she gave up on them and she left when he needed her the most. 

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“i guess i could ask how you’ve been. and if you missed my face. and my biting sarcasm.”

“hi, fiona. how have you been – truly.”

“you could ask, but would you really care?”

“i’ve been great -- truly. and yourself?”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“seriously? i feel like that’s all i’ve done ever since you came in here, waltzing me out of my comfortable little safe space and into all this wicked treachery. i feel like a walking carcass. you are too much for me.”

“god i don’t even know why i said all that. i just wanted to know what it is exactly you were looking so wild for.”

“and i will continue to be too much for you until you fully come to the dark side, my love. i will welcome you with open arms, desserts and maybe some liquor.”

“let’s go shopping. i feel like buying something expensive.

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“the worst part about this is you’re not even trying to hide the fact that you’re lying.”

“is it such a bad thing to look crazy? c’mon, sierra -- live a little!”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“after hearing you whine and moan about how much you hated it here and wanted to leave, no–no it’s not.”

“it’s nice to see you too, talia.”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“very much. and no, i don’t. it’s just–” 

“you should’ve seen her face, clara.”

“derek -- i’m a lawyer. i’ve had to sit through so many divorce trials and trust me, if you still love her, don’t let go. before the pregnancy, you two were the happiest, not a single worry in sight. she’s still grieving and i’m not saying you aren’t -- but you will never know or understand the amount of physical and mental trauma she went through. you gave her so much space, so much time to think -- that she’s concluded to assuming you’d have a better life without her.”

“i know she still loves you. she just doesn’t know how to or if she can anymore. she feels like she has failed you and any sort of potential family you two could’ve started together. she feels responsible for losing the baby. don’t give up until you know she means it.”

[bobaetea-blog]

@aepartwo

“…what? you’ve got this crazy look in your eyes.”

[aepartwo-blog]

“what look? i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“guess i can’t say i’m not happy to hear that.”

“what do we do now?”

“is this what they call closure? do we talk about our feelings and end on a good note?”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“why are you? – here, i mean.”

“can i not come back to my hometown? is that no longer allowed?”

[aepartwo-blog]

romanized:

“oh, no – i mean, you’re right on this totally not being what i expected to happen tonight – but this is way better than watching my buddies get drunk to hit on unsuspecting college freshmen only to get rejected. multiple times.”

“so,” he motions toward her aforementioned ex. “what’s the deal with that guy? what’d he do to lose a girl like you?”

she sighs, glancing at her ex. “i-i don’t know?” she laughs, trying to make the best out of the situation. “it was one of those -- it’s not you, it’s me -- cop-outs. ”

[aepartwo-blog]

romanized:

“i’m glad to see your lack of faith in me is still present.”

“ha ha. we’re only living together. could you really imagine me as a husband any more than you could imagine me as a babysitter?”

“some things never change, i guess.”

“so you don’t want to get married to her? have you guys discussed marriage at all? wow, i really thought she would’ve been the one.”

[aepartwo-blog]

romanized:

he sneaks up behind her and snatches the car keys out from her hand. he grins, dangling them in front of her before dashing for the car. “i’m driving.”

she smiles as his back faces toward her. even though the pair were now living together, she still found it difficult to fully open up to him. she seated herself in the passenger seat, belting in. 

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“i don’t know. you had so many things going for you then, you know? and then there i was. we had all these plans, all these things we wanted to do, but we were in such different places, and i didn’t want to be the one to ruin it all. even then, it didn’t work out anyway.”

“do you honestly believe i’d leave you like that? i would never ever compromise our relationship for anything. i-i just wish you had a little more faith in me -- in us.”

“but if you think we wouldn’t have worked out either way, i guess i can’t really do or say anything to change your mind otherwise, but i think you’re wrong.”

[aepartwo-blog]

bobaetea:

“no, no. i don’t want to. she just seemed so serious about it. why should i keep pushing it when she doesn’t want it, you know?”

“me too. i don’t know what to do.”

“do you still love her? do you want this divorce to happen?”

[aepartwo-blog]

romanized:

“ugh, but i’m so broke right now. my parents are limiting my allowance cause they want me to be all independent and get a job and stuff. i can barely even afford the bus ride home, let alone even buying a cheeseburger.”

“then get a job or the debt will only increase to three cheeseburgers every week.”