[berrytart]

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

[echotunes]

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

[worldofcity]

me if i was bioluminescent and confused: "whats glowing on..."

[sacred-portal]

[vonkarmic]

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

the first thing about rpf to understand is that it is ultimately fiction and we will never understand the true inner workings of the lives of celebrities because there is always going to be a veil of performance clouding the way we perceive them. the second thing about rpf to understand is that it’s always true + real and it happened exactly as i imagine it in my mind

[specialagentartemis]

more windows should be stained glass. Just in general

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I was blown to a smithereen, just the one

[prettiestpear]

[windowz97]

[evilscientist3]

[flashdrive-fucker]

did you cum?

[evilscientist3]

Not even once.

[softwaring]

[not100bees]

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

[senatortedcruz]

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

[kafk-a]

Charles M. Schulz, 1963

[moldavite]

are we sure the only way out is through? like. are we sure we can't just. go around

[mariamlovesyou]

new uterine lining just dropped

[ocqueen]

[xbox-nun]

Dentist confessional. Like, forgive me doctor for I have sinned. I have partaken of the wine. Not only that, but the coffee and the tea. I consume carbonated beverages regularly. I eat sweets such as saltwater taffy and caramels. On the weekend, if I sleep in, I only brush my teeth at night. And then the dentist is like, "and are you flossing, my child?" and they just have to look away

[aropride]