Untitled

[affablebarista]

noncanon log: luyu and bobi

[11:14] IB: You there

[11:14] IB: Sir or madam

[11:14] IB: Put your hands up where i can see them

[11:15] IB: *turns you around and holds invisible revolver up to your head*

[11:15] IB: State your name and profession

[11:15] IB: As well as the location of any valuables on your person

[11:15] IB: This is a holdup

[11:17] MN: ok you can clearly see my fucking name

[11:17] MN: its called my display name you stupid fuck.

[11:17] MN: but if youre feeling especially faggy you could call me "minty."

[11:17] MN: (but youd have to be a prince-level faggot to that)

[11:18] MN: and i dont have any fucking valuables, considering this is the fucking internet.

[11:18] MN: B\

[11:18] MN: are you retarded, or is this just a funny joke to you.

[11:18] MN: oh wait.

[11:18] MN: either way

[11:18] MN: you are retarded.

[11:19] IB: IM NOT RETARDED

[11:19] IB: GIVE ME YOUR MONEY

[11:19] IB: YOU CAN GET PEOPLES MONEY THROUGH THE INTERNET

[11:20] IB: TRUST ME IM AN A+ HACKER

[11:22] MN: huh.

[11:22] MN: alright, a+ hacker

[11:22] MN: can you tell me the name of a site that actually allows for monetary transactions online.

[11:22] MN: humor me.

[11:22] MN: B\

[11:22] IB: The bank of america website

[11:22] IB: Aka the best bank

[11:23] MN: ok i have already decided that you are fucking batshit.

[11:23] MN: who the fuck even uses banks.

[11:23] MN: matresses are literally the only way to go.

[11:23] IB: Losers

[11:23] IB: But it has america in the title

[11:23] MN: im sorry, cant help you out there, starfox.

[11:23] IB: So i forgive bank of america

[11:24] MN: my only bank is the bank of my grunkles matress.

[11:24] MN: its lumpy and i dont know how he sleeps on it.

[11:24] MN: tough titties.

[11:25] IB: Dont do transactions on the internet

[11:25] IB: Some hacker will get it

[11:25] IB: Or the government

[11:25] MN: some hacker named you, right, princess?

[11:25] MN: lmao.

[11:25] MN: seriously though ive got nothing for you.

[11:26] MN: B\

[11:26] MN: maybe you stupid amerifags should fuck off for a while so i can have some time for myself.

[11:26] MN: goddamnit you know sometimes i just want time to rewatch the ending of the eva anime and laugh at how much of a faggot shinji is until the end

[11:27] MN: acting so happy over his fucking penguin congratulating him over being less of a faggot.

[11:27] MN: when in reality

[11:27] MN: he is just as bad as before.

[11:27] MN: nothing changed.

[11:27] MN: what a dumbass.

[11:27] MN: you ever try to watch that shit.

[11:27] IB: What the fuck is an eva

[11:27] IB: I think this is an anime

[11:27] MN: a giant robot with the soul of your dead mom in it.

[11:27] IB: What

[11:28] IB: I dont have a dead mom

[11:28] IB: I dont have a mom period

[11:28] IB: Im a self made woman

[11:29] MN: lmao same o/

[11:29] IB: Hell fucking yes

[11:29] IB: You sound tolerable

[11:30] MN: but yeah its an anime about a faggot prince kid named shinji who cries at everything but especially his impending death.

[11:30] MN: its fucking horrible and gay you should watch it.

[11:30] IB: Sounds fucking horrible

[11:30] IB: Show me some clips or something so i can verify its suckiness

[11:31] IB: Even tho i already know its sucky because its not an AMERICAN cartoon

[11:32] MN: they treat america like shit in this anime its all about the glory of nihon.

[11:32] MN: if thats not enough to convince you i dont even know what i can say.

[11:32] MN: its completely anti-american and talks about FEELINGS.

[11:33] IB: EW GROSS

[11:33] MN: and how important it is to have connections with people.

[11:33] MN: and

[11:33] MN: and

[11:33] MN: and

[11:33] IB: Bad bitches like me dont have feelings

[11:33] MN: worst of all

[11:33] MN: god

[11:33] MN: damned

[11:33] MN: fucking

[11:33] MN: P

[11:33] MN: S

[11:33] MN: Y

[11:33] MN: C

[11:33] MN: H

[11:33] MN: O

[11:33] MN: L

[11:33] MN: G

[11:33] MN: Y

[11:33] MN: FYCK

[11:33] MN: *FUCK

[11:33] MN: *PSYCHOLOGY ONLY SPELLED OUT HOW I WANTED IT TO BE.

[11:33] MN: B\

[11:33] IB: Psychology is a bunch of new age bullshit

[11:34] MN: youre telling me lmao.

[11:35] MN: "we can figure out whats wrong with you due to your childhood" how about you shut the fuck up before i punch you in the mouth.

[11:35] MN: people just make up fucking problems for themselves and it drives me up a goddamned wall

[11:35] MN: B\

[11:35] IB: Im pretty sure its all just a scam

[11:36] IB: Which in a way i can kind of respect

[11:36] IB: You go psychology

[11:37] MN: someone at the top has to be raking in some mad cash, thats for sure.

[11:37] MN: taking advantage of the critically retarded. B\

[11:37] MN: cant say i agree with that shit but who the fuck cares about my opinion.

[11:37] MN: oh right

[11:37] MN: me.

[11:37] MN: because its fucking great.

[11:38] MN: psych is fucking stupid and isnt even real goddamned science and i wish it was fucking illegal or something.

[11:38] MN: what the fuck is studying the brain going to get you

[11:38] MN: neon genesis evangelion, thats what.

[11:38] MN: and wasnt that fucking punishment enough. B\

[11:38] IB: Ive heard stories too many stories

[11:38] IB: People get fucked up

[11:39] IB: I bed this neon genesis evovlvion or whatever it is is psychology propoganda

[11:39] IB: I want to see how bad this is for myself

[11:40] IB: Do you have a clip or something

[11:40] IB: To show me just how bad this gets

[11:40] MN: better

[11:40] MN: i could link you

[11:40] MN: the entire

[11:40] MN: fucking

[11:40] MN: anime.

[11:41] IB: I dont have time for that shit

[11:41] MN: yes you do.

[11:41] MN: i insist that you do. B\

[11:41] IB: Maybe i should just skip to the ending

[11:41] MN: no dont do that.

[11:41] MN: you have to watch it all the way through for the context.

[11:41] MN: trust me

[11:41] MN: everything makes sense by the end.

[11:41] MN: youll thank me for this later.

[11:41] IB: Fine ill watch the first episode

[11:42] MN: it doesnt kick in until like episode 14.

[11:42] MN: but you

[11:42] MN: CANT SKIP.

[11:42] MN: im fucking warning you.

[11:42] MN: or else you will be sorry.

[11:43] IB: Shut up bitch im a bad bitch i do what i want

[11:44] MN: who the fuck are you calling bitch faggot.

[11:44] IB: You

[11:44] IB: You wanna fucking go

[11:44] MN: anytime

[11:44] MN: anyplace

[11:44] MN: only.

[11:44] MN: wait.

[11:44] MN: this is

[11:45] MN: the fucking internet.

[11:45] MN: you stupid fuck.

[11:45] IB: I would

[11:45] IB: If i could

[11:45] IB: I could track you down but im too lazy

[11:45] IB: Also chances are youre too far away

[11:47] IB: Okay what is this

[11:47] IB: Abstract shit

[11:47] IB: In this anime

[11:47] MN: first of all: thats the anime

[11:47] MN: and second of all

[11:47] MN: that shouldnt be in the first fucking episode. B\

[11:47] IB: It says neon genesis evengelion

[11:48] IB: Who there boobs

[11:48] IB: *Whoa

[11:48] IB: FUCK

[11:48] MN: fuck what.

[11:48] MN: i

[11:48] IB: WHAT

[11:48] MN: dont actually think beautiful bingbongs make an appearance until later.

[11:48] IB: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

[11:48] MN: what.

[11:48] IB: WHAT THE FUCK

[11:48] IB: THIS IS PORNOGRAPHY

[11:48] MN: are you already sick of shinji being a faggo-

[11:48] MN: OH.

[11:49] MN: you STUPID WHORE

[11:49] MN: LMAO.

[11:49] IB: MINT PERSON YOU LINKED ME TO PORNOGRAPHY

[11:49] MN: HAHAHAHAHAA.

[11:49] IB: YOU FUCKING TROLL

[11:49] IB: IVE BEEN TROLLED

[11:49] IB: FUCK

[11:49] MN: YOU STUPID CUNT DID YOU SERUOUSLY CLICK ON THE

[11:49] MN: FUCKING

[11:49] MN: END OF EVANGELION.

[11:49] MN: HAHAHAHA.

[11:49] MN: *seriously

[11:49] MN: i bet it turned you on though, huh.

[11:49] IB: NO

[11:51] IB: What is this biblical reference shit

[11:51] IB: This is blasphemy

[11:51] MN: you are so fucking turned on.

[11:51] MN: moan for me baby.

[11:51] IB: I AM NOT

[11:51] IB: FUCK YOU BITCH

[11:51] MN: tell me how much you love shinjis nubile body

[11:51] MN: lusting over the comatose bitch.

[11:52] IB: NOT AT ALL IM NOT A FUCKING PEDO

[11:52] IB: YOURE A COMATOSE BITCH

[11:52] MN: ooof.

[11:52] MN: wow

[11:52] MN: felt that one.

[11:53] MN: i guess its the blasphemy thats making you hard

[11:53] MN: or wet

[11:53] MN: or whatever i dont fucking care.

[11:53] MN: point is that youre loving this.

[11:53] IB: WHAT IS WITH THIS FUCKING SCENERY PAN OUTS

[11:54] IB: I DONT WANNA LOOK AT YOURE FUCKING ART

[11:54] IB: YOURE JUST TOO LAZY TO ANIMATE SO YOU PUT THESE FUCKING SCENERY SHOTS IN TO BUY TIME

[11:54] IB: FUCKING ARTISTS I HATE THEM

[11:55] IB: I HAVE NEVER MET A GOOD ARTIST OR ANIMATOR OR WRITER OR ANYTHING IN MY LIFE

[11:56] IB: WHY DOES THE GUY WITH THE GLASSES SOUND BLACK

[11:56] IB: ISNT EVERYONE HERE WHITE

[11:56] MN: wow.

[11:56] MN: racist, much.

[11:57] MN: yeah tho i feel you like why dont they all follow their nationalities i need to hear REAL japanese accents on everyone.

[11:57] MN: but uh what the fuck are you talking about eva is the pinnacle of anime in terms of big budget animation.

[11:57] MN: のワの

[11:58] IB: OBVIOUSLY NOT

[11:59] IB: OK FINALLY SOME FUCKING ACTION

[11:59] IB: THIS SHIT IS BORING

[11:59] MN: what, the masturbation scene wasnt enough for you?

[11:59] IB: THIS VOICE ACTING IS TERRIBLE

[11:59] MN: you really are one eager beaver.

[11:59] IB: DID SOMEONE ACTUALLY RECORD THIS SHIT

[12:00] IB: AND DID SOMEONE SAY IT WAS ACCEPTABLE

[12:00] IB: WHO HIRED THE BLACK GUY

[12:00] MN: how the fuck are you so racist.

[12:00] MN: also this is all your fault for watching the dub you idiot.

[12:00] IB: IM NATIVE AMERICAN YOU PC ASS FUCK

[12:01] MN: look at me

[12:01] MN: caring.

[12:01] MN: PC people are fucking stupid but assuming that a voice is

[12:01] MN: black

[12:01] MN: is pretty fucking stupid.

[12:02] MN: just goddamned saying. B\

[12:02] IB: YOURE STUPID

[12:02] IB: I BET YOURE NOT EVEN BLACK

[12:02] IB: STOP TALKING FOR PEOPLE

[12:03] MN: のワの

[12:03] MN: i wouldnt be so sure of that

[12:03] MN: and im not talking for anyone im sure they can talk for themselves. B\

[12:05] IB: ARE YOU ACTUALLY BLACK OR NOT QUIT THIS VAGUE BULLSHIT

[12:05] IB: WHAT IS THIS MOVIE YOURE SHOWING ME

[12:05] MN: i will not respond unless you grovel to me with the politically (white person) acceptable term of "african american."

[12:06] MN: and im showing you the suckiest movie of all time.

[12:06] MN: i already told you youre watching the wrong thing you stupid fuck.

[12:06] IB: Are you african american you stupid bitch

[12:09] MN: のワの

[12:09] MN: im a

[12:09] MN: certified

[12:09] MN: genuine

[12:09] MN: 100%

[12:09] MN: WoC

[12:09] MN: (lmao)

[12:12] IB: What the fuck is a woc

[12:13] MN: check your not knowing what a woc is privilege faggot.

[12:15] IB: I looked it up using my internet skills

[12:15] IB: Women of color

[12:15] IB: I dont understand which color

[12:15] IB: Which colors maybe

[12:16] MN: wow.

[12:16] MN: learned how to use the google machine did you.

[12:16] MN: so

[12:16] MN: veyr

[12:16] MN: *VERY

[12:16] MN: very

[12:16] MN: proud of you.

[12:16] MN: B'|

[12:16] IB: *eagle screech*

[12:16] MN: yes.

[12:16] MN: the little chirrup

[12:16] MN: that eagles do.

[12:16] MN: how magestic.

[12:16] IB: Damn straight theyre majestic

[12:17] MN: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlq2kcYQcLc

[12:17] MN: the most majestic of all fucking creatures.

[12:17] MN: cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep.

[12:18] IB: Its such a beautiful call though

[12:18] IB: The majestic eagle can also be cute

[12:21] MN: there is nothing beautiful about a fucking retarded ass bird opening its stupid beak and making pissing baby cheep noises.

[12:21] MN: the bird looks like a douche.

[12:21] MN: nothing cute about it. B\

[12:22] MN: (and "of color" means just that. you know. brown people. oooh, scary).

[12:23] IB: Im not going to use this term its stupid and not descriptive enough

[12:24] IB: My preferred term for native american is just plain american

[12:25] IB: We were here first damnit

[12:25] IB: Fucking immigrants

[12:25] MN: thats

[12:25] MN: pretty much

[12:25] MN: what "native"

[12:25] MN: means

[12:25] MN: you stupid

[12:25] MN: piece

[12:25] MN: of shit.

[12:26] IB: Thats what im saying asshole

[12:26] MN: the descriptor is what makes it clear that you were here first. B\

[12:26] MN: because everyone just calls themselves american.

[12:26] MN: you cant just twist commonly held definitions to suit your own selfish desires.

[12:29] IB: Fuck

[12:29] IB: DAMNIT

[12:29] IB: DAMNIT

[12:29] IB: I think you have a point

[12:29] IB: Is this just my way of being PC??????

[12:29] IB: FUCK

[12:29] IB: FUCK

[12:30] IB: MY ENTIRE WORLD IS SPINNING ON ITS HEAD

[12:30] MN: shock of the fucking century.

[12:30] IB: FUCK

[12:30] MN: glad to be of service.

[12:30] MN: のワの

[12:30] IB: FUCK YOU

[12:30] IB: GODDAMNIT

[12:32] MN: のワの

[12:32] MN: のワの のワの のワの

[12:33] MN: hows eva going.

[12:33] IB: I think i need to lie down for a second

[12:33] MN: to masturbate?

[12:33] IB: Is shinji the boy

[12:33] IB: Im asking

[12:33] MN: yes.

[12:33] IB: Because hes a whiny bitch

[12:33] MN: told you.

[12:33] IB: Who needs to man the fuck up

[12:34] MN: my favorite little faggot princess.

[12:34] MN: whiny crybaby weird masturbation habits.

[12:35] IB: I like the girl with the long red hair

[12:35] IB: She knows how to be a fucking badass

[12:35] IB: I didnt think she would but she did

[12:36] MN: shes pretty great yeah.

[12:36] MN: except when shes just as whiny as shinji.

[12:36] MN: everyone in this anime cries too fucking much.

[12:37] IB: Why did she have to die

[12:37] IB: Shes the only one who actually gets shit done

[12:37] IB: I bet the rest of this is just going to be more incomprehensible shit

[12:37] IB: WHAT THE FUCK

[12:37] MN: well it is psychology.

[12:37] MN: and youre watching it

[12:37] MN: wrong.

[12:37] MN: like ive said

[12:37] MN: three times now.

[12:38] MN: you really just came there for the masturbation, didnt you.

[12:38] MN: you knew it from before

[12:38] IB: HER BOOB ABSORBED HIS HAND

[12:38] MN: had to see it for yourself.

[12:38] MN: sounds about right.

[12:38] MN: and let me guess

[12:38] IB: SHE LOOKS 12

[12:38] MN: youre going to act like this surprises you

[12:38] MN: but your hand has slipped down your pants

[12:38] MN: and you are

[12:38] MN: quietly fapping.

[12:38] MN: alone.

[12:38] MN: to the 12 year old.

[12:39] IB: Whats fapping

[12:42] MN: getting incredibly angry over unamerican things and ideals.

[12:42] MN: its a good word right.

[12:42] IB: Bullshit

[12:43] IB: YOURE FUCKING WITH ME ARENT YOU YOU STUPID BITCH

[12:44] MN: why the fuck would i do that. のワの

[12:44] IB: Why wouldnt you do that you fucking troll

[12:44] IB: I know all about trolls they told me at that one school event in elementary school

[12:45] IB: Watch out for cyber bullies

[12:45] MN: im not a cyber bully im your friend.

[12:45] MN: didnt elementary school tell you you about friendship.

[12:46] IB: Yeah but so far you tricked me into watching a pornographic psychological bullshit unamerican anime

[12:47] IB: So why should i trust you

[12:47] IB: Look at all this blasphemous symbolism

[12:47] MN: i told you

[12:47] MN: four times now

[12:47] MN: that thats

[12:47] MN: not what

[12:47] MN: i asked you

[12:47] MN: to watch.

[12:47] MN: and yet you continue.

[12:47] IB: Who is this white haired kid suddenly appeared

[12:47] MN: dont see how im the bad guy here.

[12:47] MN: oh and hes there for the yaoi.

[12:47] IB: This is some gay ass bullshit

[12:47] MN: right you are.

[12:48] MN: and its gonna get gayer.

[12:48] MN: youre welcome.

[12:48] MN: ready your masturbation hand.

[12:59] IB: Ok more bullshit fucking blasphemous symbolism

[01:00] IB: And it keeps getting more pornographic

[01:00] IB: Fuck it im done

[01:06] MN: youre done because you need a quick break.

[01:06] MN: is that why you stopped responding for so long.

[01:06] MN: のワの

[01:06] MN: doesnt take much to get you into it, does it.

[01:08] IB: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[01:08] IB: SHUT UP

[01:09] IB: I wouldnt masturbate to this shitty ass anime

[01:09] IB: Especially not while talking to you

[01:10] MN: why not.

[01:10] MN: those are two extremely fucking attractive things.

[01:10] IB: Youre not attractive

[01:10] IB: Youre an ugly bitch

[01:10] MN: you wanna go.

[01:10] MN: im fucking immaculate.

[01:10] IB: HELL YEAH I WANNA FUCKIN GO

[01:11] MN: beyonces got nothing on me.

[01:11] MN: haha you are so fucking quick to capslock.

[01:11] MN: do you have anger issues.

[01:11] IB: NO I DONT

[01:11] MN: bipolar disorder.

[01:11] MN: something

[01:11] MN: what imf syaing here is that

[01:11] MN: youre fucking up

[01:11] MN: *im saying

[01:11] IB: PSYCHOLOGY IS BULLSHIT YOU KNOW THIS

[01:11] MN: hahahaha.

[01:11] MN: lmao.

[01:12] MN: this has nothing to do with psych and everything to do with you being a the fucking hulk.

[01:12] IB: They tried to lock me up once a few years ago but i ran the fuck away they dont know what theyre talking about

[01:13] IB: Fucking shitty ass fucking child services trying to delve into my psyche

[01:13] MN: hahaha oh my god you cant be serious.

[01:13] IB: Fucking shitty ass uncle sam getting child protective services called on us in the first place

[01:13] IB: Fucking hell so glad im done with all that

[01:14] MN: shhh shh.

[01:14] MN: calm yourself, woman.

[01:14] IB: Nggh

[01:15] MN: much better.

[01:15] MN: youre probably in a decent place now dont get irrationally mad at shit.

[01:15] MN: just makes you an easy target. B\

[01:16] IB: Good point

[01:16] IB: Fucking hell what if they find me again theyll just think im even more mad

[01:16] IB: In both definitions of the word

[01:17] IB: GRAGH I HATE THEM

[01:17] MN: well how old are you? B\

[01:18] IB: 17

[01:18] IB: Im about to be 18 and after that ill be able to completely legally live on my own i guess

[01:18] MN: yeah see.

[01:18] MN: just lay low until 18 and then be your own bad bitch.

[01:18] MN: who the fuck cares.

[01:19] MN: though i doubt someone with your level of irrational anger can lay low for long so just try really fucking hard.

[01:19] MN: maybe youll get lucky.

[01:20] IB: I have an adoptive dad now so i guess ill just sort of live off his trough for now

[01:20] IB: Sorry its not so bad for me now just sometimes i remember and get angry

[01:22] MN: its pretty cool that you were able to find someone to adopt you at your age and to care for you until you can be independent.

[01:22] MN: idk sometimes you just gotta look at the positives or else youll go crazy. B\

[01:22] MN: but lmao you act like you getting angry is a rare thing.

[01:22] IB: I GET ANGRY A LOT SO WHAT

[01:22] MN: scream at me about psych some more why dont you.

[01:22] MN: lmao.

[01:22] MN: contain

[01:22] MN: breathe

[01:23] MN: maybe you should get a good outlet hobby.

[01:23] MN: like

[01:23] MN: punching people.

[01:23] MN: thats what i do.

[01:23] IB: Hell yes

[01:23] IB: Thats the best idea ive heard all day

[01:23] IB: I cant really find anyone to punch other than merc though

[01:24] IB: (Merc is my adoptive dad)

[01:24] IB: Do i do it anyways under the guise of it being part of our training

[01:24] IB: (He trains me hes really cool)

[01:24] MN: yes.

[01:24] MN: fuck yes.

[01:24] IB: Brb

[01:24] MN: youre on your way.

[01:24] MN: be free, my little angry faggot.

[01:25] MN: fulfill your dark purpose.

[01:26] IB: ((Luyu cannot return to the computer, as she has just gotten her ass whooped.))

[01:32] -- irritableBarista [IB] ceased pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 01:32 --

[fatalisticfortune]

NONCANON ALPHA LOG

Luyu Monroe and Anacia Pigoli (carada and elsu’s alpha counterparts) bump into each other online and eventually attempt to cyber

Read More

[affablebarista]

Elsu: Check in with Hank.

Hank and Elsu check in with each other right after entering their first gates. Elsu follows a trail of blood to a town and finds Auntie about to kill the sheriff. (might go back and make a solo post about it later)

-- affableBarista [AB] began pestering bombasticBrave [BB] at 02:14 --

AB: hank my main man hows it hanging?

AB: by main man i mean im pretty sure youre the only dude ive met so far in this game.

AB: or were you?

AB: goddamn im too high to remember.

BB: Ooor because we're super awesome friends and becoming even more epic of friends together :3

BB: Aaaaand as far as I know I'm just chilling here, laying on the grass, letting the rain give me a bath uvu

AB: cool. you already through your first gate?

BB: Yup! Jumped right through it!

BB: Probably wasn't the best idea, but could have been worse right? Haha! Are you in your gate?

BB: You in another's land O:

BB: or still the same?

BB: What is your land like anyways???

AB: awright looks like you know how to handle yourself.

AB: uh.

AB: yeah i got through mine.

AB: i kind of uh.

AB: blew myself towards it?

AB: if that makes sense.

BB: Like dynamite?

BB: You blew yourself up and SURVIVED?!

AB: i dunno im half sure i imagined the whole thing fucking weed.

BB: Dude

BB: dude....

AB: no i mean like.

AB: i blew at the ground with my mouth.

AB: and i flew twenty feet in the air and entered my gate.

AB: i dont get it either.

BB: DUUUUUUUDEEEE!!!!

BB: Dude dude dude

BB: Are you superman?!

BB: Holy shit your superman

BB: oh my god I'm talking to a superhero

BB: Oh my god oh my god

AB: duuuuuuude chill out im not superman.

AB: i just got the lamest power ever as a result of playing this game.

AB: the ability to blow gusts out of my mouth.

BB: Right! Right trying to keep your identity safe from the public gotcha!

BB: That's so coool!!!!!! Ah, don't make get so excited, it hurts, but wow!

AB: whatever you wanna believe buddy.

BB: I'm talking to a hero

AB: whoa dude keep up with these wacky theories and i might have to introduce you to carada haha.

BB: Oh yeah! I spoke with carada before! She's super awesome ! we're gonna have milkshakes together

BB: you want in???

AB: uh we were planning on smoking together and were proably gonna need munchies so milkshakes would be nice yes.

AB: ((*probably))

BB: Dude sweet! I promise to make you the biggest and best milkshake ever!

BB: Like choclate mint flavor ice cream with some whipcream caramel and cherries!

BB: since you're a hero you get 5 cherries

AB: amazing. you sure do know how to treat a guy right haha.

AB: no homo.

AB: do you want in on the weed action though?

AB: its a pretty big thing to do on the first time but i promise its tons of fun and you can even get a spirtitual experience out of it if your into that kinda stuff.

AB: ill guide you through it!

BB: Hm, sure! I'll try it :3 see how it's like ! Thanks man I appreciate it!

BB: So where you at in your land? Are you okay though? No enemies right??

AB: haha yes! normally people arent so willing to try it just right off the bat like that i promise youll love it!

AB: uh yeah there arent any enemies.

AB: or rather there WERE enemies here but theyre all dead now.

AB: i guess its safe to say that auntie was here.

AB: more free grist for me hehe.

BB: As expected from the super awesome hero! Took care of all of them without a second thought

AB: i wouldnt really call her a hero man i mean she just killed a woman. i mean it was a cop and she came back to life anyways but it was still a living breathing person.

BB: So you're probably dealing with an anti hero

BB: You gotta be careful okay! They can kill, but no worries a true hero always win!

AB: im sure she likes to think of herself that way what with all the gritty westerns she watches.

AB: dont worry im being super cautious!

BB: We need to give you a super hero name though, let me think of it. Wait wait

BB: Kamen Rider Wind Taker!

BB: No

BB: Wind Waker!

BB: No no no

BB: Kamen Rider Typhooon!

AB: no thank you man we dont need to go there. @-@

BB: We'll call your breath finisher the Slipstream Gust BURST!

AB: noooooooooooooooooooo!

AB: can i just not be a superhero.

AB: its not my style.

AB: wait hold on.

AB: do i get to design my own outfit.

BB: You damn right you do!

AB: can it be super fashionable instead of really dumb?

BB: Course :3

AB: yes.

BB: YEAH! Kamen Rider Typhooon is born!

AB: if i get any powers that are actually useful in the future i might consider it.

AB: no special names though.

BB: You always gotta have a special name for your finisher attacks though D:

AB: nooooooooooooo i dont want that.

BB: Really??? But Slipstream gust BURST sounds really coool though

AB: no it doesnt.

BB: Really? D:

AB: nah man why cant it just be like.

AB: the windy thing.

AB: wow thats really dumb.

AB: ok forget i said that.

AB: only idiots refer to it as the windy thing.

BB: Haha yeah! The windy thing sounds boring as hell

BB: I'll think of a better name to call it then how about

BB: Thunderous Roar Burst X Alpha!

AB: ok can it just like.

AB: have two words in the name.

AB: like a move in an rpg.

AB: not like something in a shonen anime or whatever.

BB: Hurricane Howl!

BB: It's Perfect!

AB: still not feeling it. :c

BB: :3 Your new finisher name -whaaaaa D:

AB: look ill think of something when it comes to me.

AB: dont worry about it too much.

BB: Awwwww okay :(

BB: I'll just help!

AB: theres some dead snakes here...

AB: they dont look like enemies.

BB: You shooulllld

AB: yeah see they have cute faces things in video games dont have cute faces unless theyre helpful.

BB: You should eat them

BB: Or save them then cook them and eat em later!

AB: but what if theyre helpful and another snake sees me eating it.

AB: ill have ruined a potential source of help.

BB: Good point! Do snakes talk in your world! You should check that out!

AB: yeah i bet they do somethings gotta talk i mean i havent seen any humans yet and if theyre arent any humans theres gotta be some animal villagers or something.

AB: yup theres a little snake thing.

AB: i think its mourning its dead friend.

BB: Awww :( Crud I Feel bad for wanting to eat it

BB: You should pay your repsects!

AB: uh man i feel awkward? i dont wanna talk to it i mean its crying but if its intelligent enough to feel sadness than it can probably talk.

AB: ((*then?))

AB: okay um.

AB: im offering to bury it for him.

BB: That's really nice of you! ^^

AB: he says whats the point snakes are underground all the time anyways.

AB: help what do i do im not good with people ive spent my entire life interacting with the same 15 people.

BB: Tell them that where you come from, burying a loved one is putting them to rest. It's better than leaving the body there undignified and such right?

AB: um okay.

AB: she asked me if i was high.

AB: i said yes.

AB: she walked off in tears.

BB: Elsu! Well, you did your best!

BB: And you were truthful so don't let it get to you!

AB: okay... :c

BB: She's just still cooping over the lost, it ain't your fault.

BB: It takes time for most people

BB: or animals yeah.

AB: okay its all good.

AB: ill just follow the trail of blood to the town over there.

AB: god auntie could you maybe keep your hunting instincts down for one second?

BB: You sure you'll be okay?

AB: i dunno man shes probably massacring this things up ahead and i should probably get up there before fucks everything up.

AB: ((*these things)

BB: You gotta stop her. No! That's not right.

AB: ((*before she fucks everything up))

AB: yeah okay im rushing!

AB: hopefully the snakes arent racist towards humans now and theyll still trust me with whatever quests they want to give me as video game components.

BB: Hopefully the snakes aren't hurt!

BB: You there yet???

AB: uh yeah.

AB: oh god.

AB: oh god.

AB: shes in the town square.

BB: STOP HER!

AB: shes holding a snake with a sheriffs badge at gunpoint holy shit.

AB: i will...

AB: i will...

AB: fuck.

AB: uh.

AB: uh.

AB: i will play a rock ballad on this guitar to distract her!

AB: okay i got her to look up.

AB: man that was stupid.

AB: uhm.

AB: okay shes agreeing to put the gun down but only because i say the snakes are trustworthy.

AB: she says she doesnt buy it though because snakes are symbols of the devil.

BB: Can she not.

AB: i know right.

BB: You should probably talk to the snakes, and don't mention that she kinda sorta...killed their kind

AB: i think its obvious at this point but i wont.

BB: how's the snakes

AB: frightened. paranoid.

BB: what are you saying to them!

AB: im telling them to chill out and offering them weed.

BB: can snakes even smoke??

AB: i dont know.

AB: we can try.

BB: Well it is a peace offering! Hope it works

AB: okay this one is calming down ill try it on the mayor.

BB: Smokin' with the mayor

BB: Wow your a badass !

AB: i say mayor but really its just the sheriff again.

AB: isnt that how it works in westerns though.

AB: you have the sheriff with the big stupid badge and he kind of runs everything.

AB: but not really because bandits nab everything.

BB: Pretty much how it works!

BB: Are you getting high with the sheriff?

BB: Will there be enough weed for me???? D:

AB: theres always enough weed i have a whole farm.

AB: dont worry.

AB: yeah were just.

AB: chillin now.

AB: i think he needs some time to relax.

AB: mind if i hang up here while i see what he wants?

AB: its getting kind of confusing holding two conversations at once while im not at my full mental capacity.

BB: Awww okay fine but don't get too crazy!

BB: Wait till I get there

AB: alright.

AB: bye hank!

BB: Bye Kamen Rider Typhooon!!!

[affablebarista]

Elsu: Get through that goddamn first gate - for real this time!

Okay, enough piddling around. You've got important business to take care of. Proper gentlemen such as yourself never keep a fine lady such as your aunt waiting, so you've got to get to get through that first gate. That is, assuming Auntie is through that gate... Either way, you feel like you need to proceed before you can do anything. Even if she's not there, she can take care of herself. She'll probably kill all the local wildlife, though. Man, you wish she would stop treating hunting like a sport.

You dart up several stories recently added by Bobi, panting and kneeled over by the time you reach the roof. Perhaps if you had been forced to run a mile every day like kids in public school, you wouldn't be so out of BREATH.

That gate still seems to be pretty high up there. You're not sure how you can reach it. There aren't any ladders or trampolines in the house that you know of. As you rub your temples, Marleyodasprite sneaks up behind you.

MARLEYODASPRITE: Stories tell of a rad toker, they do. Blow us all away with special abilities, he will. Find those abilities himself, he must.

ELSU: the fuck does that have to do with anything man. @-@

MARLEYODASPRITE: Hint for dumbass. Rad toker, you are.

ELSU: no i figured out that much! gods im not that high but seriously whats your point?

MARLEYODASPRITE: Seek wisdom in sacred herb, you must. Answers, there lie. 

ELSU: haha wow youre even more of a stoner than i am. so all i gotta do is chillax and smoke a doobie, eh? thats the best news ive heard all day. i dont care if youre just pulling advice out of your ass im doing what you say.

You grab a blunt and your trusty HOT PINK ZIPPO LIGHTER out of your sylladex. You inhale for a long time, enjoying the moment while it lasts. Exhaling, you feel... a force pushing you ten feet backwards? You slam against the floor and look up, trying to figure out what just happened. Marleyodasprite nods at you knowlingly.

MARLEYODASPRITE: Use the Breath, Elsu. Meet you at your destination, I will. Find me.

Before you can respond, he/she/xie/whatever floats off into the gate. Goddamn sprites and their pseudo-cryptic nonsense.

So you guess this is like the time you managed to blow all that bong haze out your window. Apparently you have the ability to blow gusts out of you mouth. You couldn't think of a dumber superpower to have if you tried. But at least now you have a method to get through the gate.

You take an even deeper breath into your blunt, eyes starting to become a little red. Well, redder than they already were, what with your naturally peach colored eyes and all. You jump and exhale towards the ground, expelling yourself twenty feet in the air and leaving behind a trail of smoke. Everything goes black as the portal transports you to your next destination.

[affablebarista]

Copsprite: Become Marleyodasprite.

An uncomfortable thought arises in your slow, still somewhat stoned brain.

You wouldn't want your sprite to run into Auntie in this form. She would surely try to arrest her, and another deadly fight would break out. Maybe there's something around here you could prototype her with to make her less authoritarian and trigger happy. And you know, maybe being 420-friendly would help too.

...Ah yes, this poster will do.

You're not sure how anti-authoritarian Bob Marley actually was, but you're sure any lover of the sacred herb would easily balance out a cop.

...Hold on, there's this other poster. Your Auntie gave it to you for your sixth birthday. You've always looked up to Yoda as a source of otherworldly advice, but mostly just because Auntie told you he was a good source of advice. You're not even that big on Star Wars. He would make the best guide ever, but you can't back down from the opportunity for a Bob Marley sprite. You wonder if you can just sort of... you know... use those devices over there to kinda... yeah... combine them. Yeah, there you go.

It's fucking beautiful. You toss it at the sprite while she isn't looking.

My god, she's beautiful. Or he. Or wait. Oh my god, you've created a gender neutral sprite. You feel so revolutionary. She will probably want to be referred to using gender neutral pronouns such as "xie" now. Holy shit, you can't wait to help this confused sprite grapple with their newfound identity.

But for now, it looks like she's not talking. You should probably just leave her - sorry, xir - alone for now and head on up. 

[affablebarista]

Elsu: Pester Bobi. Enter First Gate.

(ellie's comp kept acting up so this log is gonna look a little funky sorry)

-- affableBarista [AB] began pestering mintNewtons [MN] at 19:56 --

AB: alright. heres the dealio.

MN: the dealio.

AB: aunties gone and flown the coop and she only left a note about meeting her at a vague town.

MN: what the fuck are you

AB: im hip.

AB: thats what.

MN: you sound like an aging

MN: bald

MN: friend of grunkles.

MN: B\

MN: the kind that always tried to ask me how much i grew

AB: i bet those friends were really cool.

MN: while looking at my tank top expectantly.

MN: no they were

MN: literally

MN: the opposite

MN: of cool

MN: dont you fucking read.

MN: B\

MN: jesus christ chase-chan.

AB: i still dont even know what the fuck a chase is but whatever.

-- mintNewtons [MN] changed their mood to CHUMMY --

MN: i tried to educate you

MN: i really did

MN: the anime gods are frowning upon me.

MN: chase himself

MN: chihaya he is

MN: frowns in little girl disappointment.

MN: and then cries

MN: the little faggot.

AB: what. @-@

MN: anyway as much as id like to educate you on the importance of giving orange juice to

MN: all your flute playing little girls

MN: i dont think thats atually a good thing to do right now.

MN: *acutul

MN: *aucutl

MN: *aucitl

MN: *jdsudf

MN: *ACTUALLY

MN: so your aunt is missing big whoop.

MN: want a medal? welcome to the club of MIA guardians

MN: im the treasurer, VP, regular P, and historian

MN: you can be my secretary if you want.

MN: now the question is:

MN: have you

MN: actually

MN: done

MN: anything

MN: mildly

MN: fucking

MN: useful

MN: you stupid

MN: stoner.

MN: B\

AB: uh. she could have been referring to the town near our house. so im not actually sure if shes in the medium yet.

AB: and uh.

AB: uh.

AB: i rounded up some whatchamacallums.

AB: grist.

AB: mostly from hank.

MN: ok rule number fucking one

MN: dont take charity from hank

MN: he cant afford it.

MN: im banning you from doing that again.

MN: work for your own living you freeloader.

MN: but okay you got some grist

MN: did you start making objects for yourself yet have i asked this before

MN: shits just a fucking blur rn.

AB: i made a pretty sweet fedora.

MN: you would not believe--

MN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

MN: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

AB: i even accessorized it with pins!

MN: OH THATS FUCKING GREAT HAAHaha.

MN: i hope one of them was a PINKIE PIE pin you fucking fag.

MN: or hm.

MN: nah, youre totally a rainbow dash kind of guy.

MN: gonna turn that lesbo straight with your masterful dingaling and fedora and budding neckbeard.

MN: hahahahahaha.

MN: wait elsu serious fucking question.

MN: are you the

MN: ahem

MN: mastermind

MN: behind that glorious work of art

MN: entitled

MN: "cupcakes."

AB: no what the fuck are you talking about.

MN: dont play dumb with me faggot.

MN: i know you were the one who

MN: birthed this beautiful child.

MN: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8091223/1/Cupcakes-A-nightmare

MN: wait shit

MN: no thats the wrong one

MN: thats just your

MN: lesbian horse story

MN: that you probably have fapped to like 50 fucking times

MN: heres your

MN: masterwork

MN: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7745399/1/Cupcakes-Volume-I-Original

AB: lesbain horses what. @-@

MN: elsu.

MN: youre playing stupid with me.

MN: dont act like im not onto you.

MN: i know you wrote cupcakes.

AB: i dont even watch my little pony.

MN: your shitty stoner act stops here.

AB: that show is for dumb little girls.

MN: PFFF.

MN: youre kidding me.

AB: no im not.

MN: say that to my face not online fucker.

MN: youre the last

MN: fucking person

MN: who is allowed to call

MN: ANYONE

MN: a little girl

MN: you little girl.

AB: fine. whatever.

MN: it's actually for fedora-wearing neckbeards who think too much about what they masturbate to.

MN: which is

MN: of course

MN: cartoon ponies.

MN: and me.

AB: shit fuck.

AB: you mean by wearing fedoras ive been associating myself with these idiots the entire time?!

AB: noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

MN: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

MN: its beautiful.

MN: do you want some proof that these bretheran exist?

MN: (´･ω･`)

AB: uh. sure? i don't know?

MN: look chase-chan

MN: i found your hat.

MN: http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/215/3/2/best_fedora_decorations_evar_by_akili_amethyst-d59piyr.jpg

MN: it's very stylish.

MN: i like the shade of purple you chose.

MN: didnt think youd be a fluttermac shipper but whatever gets you off.

MN: のワの

AB: nooooooo purple is for girls!

MN: apparently not.

MN: http://t2ak.roblox.com/091fe94ef11aed9b3d5e5dcfbcd3d875

MN: isnt it beautiful.

AB: no im just im having a breakdown here.

AB: ok theres still time.

AB: to fix my wardrobe.

AB: to not include fedoras.

MN: im afraid not.

MN: seeing as you just told me.

MN: even if you burn

MN: every fedora you own

MN: and every plush pony with a fleshlight

MN: stuck so lovingly

MN: up the hole in her ass

MN: i will see it

MN: and i will screencap them

MN: and show the world

MN: that you are a total faggot.

MN: with a love of fedoras.

AB: i dont even own a plush pony with a fleshlight so hah!

AB: jokes on you.

MN: well see about that.

MN: maybe you dont own one now.

MN: but.

MN: you will.

MN: mark my words.

MN: you.

MN: fucking.

MN: will.

AB: never!

AB: im not a pervert!

MN: l o l

MN: is that a challenge, faggot.

MN: because i have this

AB: ill have you know im a virgin.

AB: i only treat girls with respect.

MN: what.

MN: what.

MN: did i

MN: even

MN: fucking

MN: ask for that.

MN: i have NO DOUBT that you are a virgin, elsu.

MN: and in fact

MN: allow me to make a totally accurate prediction

MN: in saying that

MN: you will stay that way

MN: until you die.

AB: good enough for me.

MN: wait.

MN: what kind of girls do you love.

MN: are you

MN: one of those

MN: fucking weirdos

AB: i dont care about sex.

MN: who only masturbates to anime and video game girls.

AB: what no.

AB: youre thinking of yourself.

MN: youre in love with the 2d ponies.

MN: hahahaha.

MN: i masturbate to a healthy range of all kinds of girls, tyvm.

MN: there is no selection process.

MN: no 50 foot gates that pen off the 2d from the 3d

MN: all are welcome

MN: in bobiland.

AB: alright yamada.

AB: anyways. uh. i think its really important that i get through this gate above my house.

AB: finding auntie is important but i know she can take care of herself for now.

AB: as long as she doesnt get herself into any trouble anyways.

AB: so the question is will you build up my house for me?

-- mintNewtons [MN] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

-- mintNewtons [MN] changed their mood to CHUMMY --

AB: AB: alright yamada. AB: anyways. uh. i think its really important that i get through this gate above my house. AB: finding auntie is important but i know she can take care of herself for now. AB: as long as she doesnt get herself into any trouble anyways. AB: so the question is will you build up my house for me?

MN: wait.

MN: wait.

MN: wait.

MN: did you just

MN: call me yamada.

AB: yes.

AB: because thats who you are.

AB: yamada.

MN: oh my fucking god

MN: you dont

MN: actually

MN: like that piece of shit game

MN: do you.

AB: maybe i do maybe i dont.

MN: oh my god youre not even good enough to be a brony.

AB: whatsittoya.

MN: youre a fucking dangan ronpa.

MN: LMAO.

MN: if you could hear the noises im making.

MN: itd be fucking hilarious.

MN: oh my god i cant believe someone i know actually likes that

AB: probably orgasmic noises from the anime girls youre masturbating to right now.

MN: sloppy

MN: disgusting

AB: those are the noises youre making.

MN: piece of shit.

MN: ooh boy.

MN: dont turn yourself on now.

MN: i know it must just be tantalizing to think of me touching myself

MN: but keep it to yourself.

MN: savor the memory

MN: fap later

MN: i will forgive you.

MN: B\

AB: implying youre sexy.

MN: implying im not.

AB: see what im doing there referencing one of those dumb 4chan memes see i can appeal to your interests.

MN: dont.

MN: dont you start using memes of places you dont even go you poser faggot.

MN: thats sad and fucking pathetic.

MN: also everyone knows that shit doesnt work unless you

MN: do this:

MN: > implying youre sexy.

AB: fine. whatever.

MN: the fucking arrow, faggot.

MN: get it together.

MN: anyway so you need me to do something for you?

MN: i COULD build

MN: OR you could stop being a whiny shit and learn how to fly but im not holding my fucking breath on that one.

MN: youd probably crash and break every bone in your body.

MN: itd be hilarious, but tragic.

MN: but okay erm.

MN: im not actually at my computer rn.

AB: uh okay.

MN: im not sure if i can just

MN: log on to another account or something??? like if i use andis comp.

MN: which i know i could use because im fucking great and irresistable.

MN: maybe i could try to use my 3DS.

AB: why do you have andis computer.

AB: also everyone knows 3ds internet sucks you cant even view youtube on it.

AB: dont even try.

MN: because im over at her house duh.

MN: it sucks she sucks shes also not good with drop ins.

MN: did you know.

AB: are you there to finally relieve that unresolved sexual tension.

AB: because thats the only reason i can think of.

MN: what sexual tension.

MN: if anything i might be making it worse (lol).

MN: dont ever just lay on her bed seductively itll make her fall madly in love and beg you to take her virginity.

AB: dont worry i would never even think to do that.

MN: its tough work but its my job to make sure all unworthy faggots stay pure.

MN: were in love now.

MN: were planning on raising children.

MN: well name them after you, elsu.

MN: faggot and tool.

MN: のワの

AB: im so flattered.

MN: ill let you be my best man at the wedding.

MN: its gonna be a pay bar though i will NOT pick up the tab for you fuckers.

MN: but no seriously im here on total fucking accident.

MN: it has something to do with the portals.

MN: the first one takes you somewhere on your planet, as far as i can get.

MN: dropped me into a hot fucking mess.

MN: B\

MN: and then it unlocks two others.

MN: and i let andi pick mine and

MN: lo and behold

MN: i ended up on her roof.

MN: B\

AB: how romantic.

MN: she was ecstatic.

MN: only shut the door on me twice.

AB: that obviously means she likes you back.

MN: were meant to be.

AB: make your move now bobi or forever hold your peace.

MN: (´･ω･`)

MN: ooooh.

MN: i dont know how to talk to girls tho.

MN: (´･ω･`)

MN: they make me so nervous and i sweat!

MN: but i will do it! i will confess my love to andi!

MN: (´･ω･`)

MN: i think i will walk over and give her a hug right now, just to get the smell of her on my clothes.

MN: i will never wash them again!

MN: (´･ω･`)

AB: that is so uncomfortable to read.

AB: please go back to caustic bobi.

MN: hwaaa?? why would you try to stifle my love so!

MN: andi-chan and i are meant to be together!

MN: i want to hear her voice so bad... (´･ω･`)

MN: i dont know what could possibly be uncomfortable about my love for andi!

AB: please no.

MN: lmao.

MN: cant take the heat, huh.

AB: oh great emperor of ethiopia haile selassie I please save me.

MN: hope that teaches you a fucking lesson--

MN: you know

MN: youre lucky if i dont

MN: act like that

MN: for the rest of this fucking convo

MN: if thats how youre going to handle it.

MN: great emperor of ethiopia haile selassie WHAT THE FUCK.

MN: no.

AB: its who the rastafarianists worship!

MN: what the fuck is rastafarianism.

MN: or

MN: rastashit

MN: what the fuck is any of that.

MN: do you believe that shit.

MN: if you do i will piss on you.

MN: so fucking quickly

MN: dont you test me.

AB: not entirely like i said i have an eclectic mix of religions but my personal beliefs are heavily influenced by the rastafari movement!

MN: i just want to

MN: print that out

MN: and lovingly

MN: shit on it

MN: before burning it.

MN: 20 sized font

MN: your stupidity.

MN: i dont know if i want to immortalize it or keep it from the eyes of the rest of the world.

MN: even idiots such as them

MN: do not deserve

MN: your level.

MN: jfc. B\

AB: werent you the one saying a while back that you shouldnt make fun of peoples religions?

MN: seriously what the fuck is with you goddamned retards and not believing in the gods EVEN THOUGH WERE IN THEIR FUCKING GAME.

MN: ok did i say peoples because if i did i fucking lied

MN: i meant mine

MN: as in the gods

MN: as in the religion that MAKES FUCKING SENSE.

AB: hey im willing to admit i was wrong but that doesnt mean my previous beliefs dont still influence my life greatly!

MN: obviously.

AB: so are you going to continue being hypocritical or are you going to build my house up already?

MN: i think im going to do both actually.

MN: thanks for asking. のワの

MN: but so how do you want me to do this

AB: anyway you want it i dont really care.

MN: access your interface well i got that.

MN: well it needs to be

MN: fucking

MN: climbable

MN: doesnt it???

AB: well duh.

MN: im pretty sure im just

AB: i assumed you had enough common sense for that.

MN: working with fucking walls here.

MN: well what im trying to say here is that

MN: youre going to be on the ball here, fucko.

AB: what. @-@

MN: i dont know how good you are at playing tarzan.

MN: swinging from shit and climbing up shit

MN: has anyone done this yet

AB: uh ive had some training in that kind of stuff actually!

MN: maybe i should ask for guidance.

MN: what kind of stuff

MN: playing wild man or archiecture.

MN: B\

AB: im coming off my high so i should be better at acrobatic stuff now than my sad attempt before.

AB: but uh.

AB: aunties into parkour and shit so even though i was never formally enrolled in school i still learned a lot of cool moves?

AB: dont worry im good to go in that sector.

MN: are you sure.

MN: im not completely fucking convinced here considering that you probably have almost gotten yourself killed like twice now.

MN: B]

MN: ...

MN: *B\

MN: did not mean to smile there.

MN: in a smug and standoffish way.

MN: but anyway ill try to be considerate with my building.

MN: i work off of your grist, right.

AB: yeah i think so.

MN: dont waste anything else on fucking fedoras.

AB: never again.

AB: im shuddering at the thought.

MN: lmao.

MN: glad to have brought you to the light.

MN: dont be surprised if someone (andi) sees a ponyfleshlight and is told it was found at your place tho.

MN: (lol)

MN: i think thats a fair punishment for liking the damned things in the first fucking place.

MN: B\

AB: uh i dont like fleshlights if thats what youre implying.

MN: i did not even imply something close to that.

MN: i implied that im going to lie to andi

MN: and show her

MN: that youre a pony fucker

MN: by showing her faked proof.

AB: whatever man.

MN: READ BETWEEN THE LINES, FAGGOT.

AB: bring your worst i can take it.

MN: that was the "whatever man" of a desperate man.

AB: your mom is a whatever man.

MN: but do you really want my worst.

MN: oh my god you

MN: are

MN: SUCH

MN: A

MN: FUCKING

MN: FAGGOT.

MN: also mind yourself you asshole i dont have a mom.

AB: oh uh.

AB: id say sorry but i know youre not offended.

MN: youre right but you will suffer for this

MN: im making the pony plush a male pony.

MN: just for you. のワの

AB: i wouldnt even mind.

AB: im panflexible you know.

AB: more specifically asexual heteroromantic with room to flex in the prefered gender department.

MN: oh my god just shut the fuck up already.

MN: you know what ok fine.

MN: ill wrap it in bondage gear and put weird stains on the muzzle, then.

MN: B\

AB: fine. i dont care.

MN: if you dont care so much ill be sure to include a ball gag. のワの

MN: or maybe ill give the boy pony some girl panties to top it off.

MN: <3

AB: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

MN: ok fine.

MN: diaper it is. <3

AB: is it a girly pink diaper.

AB: because if so i might have to use force to stop you.

-- mintNewtons [MN] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

-- mintNewtons [MN] changed their mood to CHUMMY --

AB: AB: is it a girly pink diaper. AB: because if so i might have to use force to stop you.

MN: an extremely girly pink diaper

MN: with princesses on it. (´･ω･`)

MN: snow white, to be specific.

AB: oh shit.

AB: literally oh shit that thing has probably been pooped in.

MN: and cum in

MN: and pissed in.

MN: you are one gross guy, chase-chan.

MN: im sure andi will have some choice words to say.

MN: mostly "i dont get it" and "whats the diaper for" but

MN: there will have been an attempt.

AB: amazing.

AB: you know bobi youre one fucked up girl.

MN: lmao.

MN: yeah probably.

AB: no one else i know could think of something that pervy.

MN: obligatory "that sure is rich coming from you" etc etc.

MN: and come on

MN: what the fuck kind of prude weirdos are you even hanging out with.

MN: 10 year olds?

MN: mormons?

MN: B\

MN: im just fucking around, champ.

MN: ive seen worse on the first page of /b/ on a good day.

MN: come on.

AB: uh i dont normally hang out with anyone.

AB: theres some old people who live about a mile out if that counts.

AB: theyre kind of uh how do i put it?

AB: i dont wanna say boring but you know.

AB: theyre boring.

MN: astounding.

MN: what a clever choice of language.

MN: but that explains

MN: literally

MN: everything.

MN: do yourself a favor here.

MN: go on "encyclopedia dramatica"

MN: click random page

AB: uh ok.

MN: and read until

MN: im not so fucked up.

MN: ty.

MN: and if you get offended

MN: theres a fantastic page

MN: if you just search

MN: for

MN: offended

MN: on that site.

AB: ok theres an article on the front page about this cupcakes thing you showed me earlier.

AB: https://images.encyclopediadramatica.se/thumb/b/bd/Cupcakes_Hannibal.jpg/150px-Cupcakes_Hannibal.jpg oh my.

MN: read

MN: educate yourself.

MN: "oh my."

MN: what the fuck are you

MN: george takei.

AB: "The plot can be very briefly summarized as follows: one pony brutally tortures and eats another pony."

AB: um ok.

MN: like i said

MN: totally up your alley.

MN: as you read though let me build you up here.

MN: i dont know how long thisll take

MN: the gate seems pretty high. B\

AB: ok rainbow dash pinkie pie what kind of ridiculous names are these?

AB: im pretty sure even little girls dont think thats cool.

MN: theyre just cute names no one thinks the names are fucking cool.

MN: i happen to like pinkie pies name.

MN: B\

MN: check yourself.

AB: cute things are lame.

AB: ok so shes going over to her house.

AB: what sort of things will she find?

AB: man even i can see where this is going.

AB: ok so shes strapped up.

MN: hot, right?

AB: ok i know what sex is i know whats going to happen.

MN: keep your dingaling flaccid, champ. theres a whole rest of the story coming

MN: you dont want to shoot too quick.

MN: and cute shit has its place.

AB: is that why everyone is scared of this are they scared of lesbian sex?

AB: man fuck that homophobic shit.

MN: yes.

MN: that is exactly why everyone is terrified of it.

MN: lesbian sex is just

MN: 2spooky.

MN: even i am made slightly uncomfortable by the process.

MN: my finger??? on a girls hoohah???? ahhhh!!!

MN: scary. :'(

AB: oh gross what is this.

MN: gross icky lesbian sex, that's what.

AB: is this how lesbian sex works?

MN: to the letter.

AB: just kidding even i am not that unaware of the world.

MN: are you sure.

MN: have you ever had lesbian sex, elsu????

MN: i myself am very worldly about these and other such affairs.

MN: and i can tell you

MN: without hesitation

MN: that cupcakes is a masterwork and is completely and wholly accurate.

AB: "Blood sprayed into the air, but Pinkie realized she wasn't getting anywhere."

AB: is that how lesbian sex works when one or both is on their period.

MN: girls dont fuck on their periods.

MN: dont be disgusting.

AB: ok important question.

AB: do lesbians like schedule their menstrual cycles together?

AB: is that like a romantic activity?

MN: its extremely romantic.

AB: im asking you because i dont know of any bigger lesbian.

MN: they get charts and little calendars

MN: and cute stickers.

MN: thats why women continue to buy stickers, even when theyre not kids.

MN: the more you know ***

AB: that should be a legit fairy tale.

MN: normally lesbians get on the same schedule.

MN: your periods will meld with that of your lover.

MN: its a beautiful thing.

AB: ill pass this down through oral tradition to my kids.

AB: it will be beautiful.

-- mintNewtons [MN] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

AB: anyways i see you built up the house.

AB: thats good because i cant bring myself to read this shitty pony fic any longer.

AB: im just gonna head up and pass through alright?

AB: catchya later.

[gameguy]

[feelingsandfeminism]

[heavy breathing]

[suzirya]

winter is coming

[strawbearrries]

WHERE DO I BUY THIS

[nomnombutteredtoast]

This is relevant to my interests

[wasmadeinmasyaf]

[pyramidslayer]

in the ending of portal 2, chell rides the elevator and ends up in the midwest US, implying that she has died since she just entered hell

[zzaas]

#i can’t tell you how much i love this scene #because after everything #sam is still dean’s little brother #”dean, tell me how to talk to girls” #”dean, show me the pool game trick” #”dean, can i take a sip of your beer?” #and dean will tease him #make fun of him #but in the end he will give sammy whatever he needs #whatever his baby brother needs #and sam knows it

[fucknoreligiousfanart]

not quite anime but

[affablebarista]

Communist: Pester Stoner

-- fatalisticFortune [FF] began pestering affableBarista [AB] at 18:53 --

FF: Hey Elsu d!d you f!nd your aunt yet?

FF: You are Elsu r!gHt? ! don't remember !f we excHanged names or !f somebody else told me.

AB: haha yeah! whats the dealeo sealeo?

FF: Well tHe deal !s ! just went tHrougH tHe portal tH!ng above my House and so ! Have some

FF: Not-so-exc!t!ng !nformat!on!

AB: oh?

FF: YeaH! Here !s tHe tH!ng: !t leads to anotHer part of your land. Deeper !n, ! suppose? M!ne took me underground.

FF: Well, tHat's assum!ng all our lands are tHe same.

AB: uh i dont think my land HAS an underground.

AB: its literally a series of floating islands.

AB: what a shame im all about the underground scene.

FF: ! don't mean necessar!ly tHey ALL go underground but maybe to a sl!gHlty d!fferent part of tHe land? !f tHat makes sense,

FF: Also wHat's tHe underground scene

AB: whats the underground scene?

AB: ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

AB: maybe when youre older youll be cool enough for me to tell you.

AB: not that you arent already pretty cool.

AB: but i have to confirm your coolness.

AB: coolness ages like fine wine.

FF: ! don't know !f !'m really all tHat cool? ! wear glasses

AB: are you kidding me glasses are the in thing.

AB: id kill to actually need vision correction.

FF: Are tHey ! tHougHt tHey were mostly reserved for "nerds".

AB: yeah but nerds are cool!

AB: ive even got a shirt with a pocket on it.

AB: i should have worn it with the suspenders today damn.

FF: ! tHougHt be!ng uncool was tHe wHole po!nt of be!ng a nerd you w!ll Have to brusH me up on

FF: Human soc!al stuff.

AB: no no you see.

AB: human fashion trends work in cycles.

AB: whats cool one decade will be totally ridiculous the next.

AB: do trolls even have fashion like in any form at all?

FF: We do but only seadwellers really botHer w!tH !t? Most of us tH!nk !t's stup!d.

FF: We do Have a concept of "cool" tHougH.

AB: is that like that one lonami chick?

AB: she seemed pretty fancy so i was wondering why if shes a troll.

FF: SHe's a seadweller, yeaH.

FF: !n fact sHe's sort of a fasH!on !con?

FF: SHe's !n mov!es and does songs and stuff.

FF: Also sHe's tHe He!ress, so sHe's k!nd of a b!g deal.

AB: wowee. must pretty strange on your end to work with such a famous person.

AB: almost makes me wish i gave a shit about womens fashion.

FF: YeaH !t's really we!rd but ! guess !t makes sense tHat somebody as !mportant as Her would be cHosen?

AB: what even is the deal with skaias selection process.

FF: ! Have no !dea tHese aren't even remotely tHe people ! would Have cHosen

FF: No offense to tHem

AB: yes im certain that one of the few people to evade the physically and religiously intensive public education system specifically set up to educate all of the chosen is a good person to pick.

AB: ahahahaha.

AB: not that i didnt pick up on religion or how to fight from my auntie anyways.

FF: YeaH and !'m not sure a g!rl w!tH no sk!lls to speak of and a pretty strong d!sl!ke of all tH!ngs rel!g!ous !s a we!rd cHo!ce too.

FF: AltHougH ! do know How to f!gHt at least. Poss!bly better tHan a couple of us?

AB: hold on whos the wimp in the party?

FF: Well ! don't know ! don't want to sound mean or anytH!ng but R!z!ee d!dn't seem l!ke mucH of a f!gHter

AB: oh you mean the bambino with the confidence issues?

FF: UH yeaH.

AB: i like her. she listens to this think pan's crazy ideas.

AB: ((*pans shit))

FF: You Have crazy !deas?

AB: yeah. i know were all very different and i know that some of us are unusually unwilling to give even the most basic of social niceties in any given conversation.

AB: but weve all got to open up our minds and learn to understand one another to help ourselves grow!

AB: i think thats the true goal of this game.

FF: Hmmm yeaH tHat sounds cool.

AB: thank you. im glad more people get it.

FF: ! Have even sort of been do!ng tHat?

AB: what thats great!

AB: like who have you been cracking the case of?

FF: Yes ! Have learned a wHole lot about Humans? WH!cH ! tH!nk !s pretty !mportant.

FF: Me and And! talk a lot sHe's d!ff!cult to read but ! feel l!ke we're start!ng to become fr!ends? Maybe.

FF: And also! ! always expected tHe He!ress to be a stuck up brat and sHe was a l!ttle b!t but actually sHe's supr!s!ngly n!ce and so !s Glac!s and !'ve been re-evaluat!ng a few of my old pH!losopH!es maybe

AB: ah im glad the heiress doesnt let her privilege mix with her cranial juices.

FF: Her wHat

AB: her cranial juices.

AB: thoughts.

AB: look just forget it ok.

AB: im glad youre getting to know people.

AB: anyways.

AB: let me get on my smartphone so i can search my house for auntie.

-- affableBarista [AB] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

-- affableBarista [AB] changed their mood to CHUMMY --

FF: Wa!t d!d you not already f!nd Her??

AB: ok wow how does this thing even work.

AB: no i didnt.

AB: i may or may not have spaced out again.

AB: its ok im going downstairs

AB: ((period fuck))

AB: oh my fucking god BLOOD!

AB: why is it bright pink?

AB: wait.

AB: wait no.

AB: somebody spilled paint on the chair.

AB: yeah see theres a paint can next to the chair.

FF: Ok tHat !s a rel!ef.

AB: also theres a gun?

AB: its a handgun though so its probably the police officers.

FF: THere was a pol!ce off!cer?

AB: yeah shes my sprite! police officers usually carry handguns.

AB: auntie says handguns are for quote bitch ass pussies unquote who feel the need to follow concealed firearm laws.

AB: so it couldnt possibly be hers.

AB: sorry if youre offended by her language i know youre a girl.

AB: uh wait something smells.

FF: UH wHy would be!ng a g!rl mean ! was offended

FF: Also !sn't your aunt!e also a female

AB: sorry i thought girls were offended by that kind of language.

FF: Have you spoken to Bob!

AB: it wont happen again. i promise i will use the terminology bitch ass pussy in the future.

FF: Ok tHank you.

FF: THougH !t really !sn't tHat b!g a deal ! just tHougHt !t was k!nd of a wer!d tH!ng to say

AB: uh ok.

FF: WHatever wHat was tHe smell

AB: anyways if you look underneath the floorboards in the doorway theres definitely blood and its really gross.

FF: OH sH!t

AB: looks like someone was hurt there.

AB: and then another person tried to cover it up.

AB: given that the cop had to be dead or dying in order to be prototyped...

AB: :c

AB: fuck i knew shed get in big time trouble with the police eventually.

FF: !s !t only l!v!ng tH!ngs tHat can be prototyped?

FF: *dead tH!ngs

AB: uh not necessarily but theyre highly preferred.

AB: but man.

AB: i never thought shed go as far as killing a cop.

AB: but i guess i was wrong. :c

FF: !s a cop some k!nd of law enforcer?

AB: yeah something like that.

AB: copsprite just confirmed with me that her last memory before waking up was standing in that doorway.

FF: Because tHat doesn't seem l!ke tHat Huge a deal !'d probably be proud !f my lusus k!lled a drone

AB: what no!

AB: i hate the fuzz too but i wouldnt wish death on em. @-@

AB: are there reprecussions for killing a drone?

AB: because on earth murders of cops are more harshly punished than murders of other humans.

FF: YeaH k!ll!ng a drone would be cons!dered pretty bad altHougH

FF: at least, you'd be punsH!ed more HarsHly for !t.

FF: THere !sn't really a penalty for k!ll!ng otHer trolls unless !t's a troll of a mucH H!gHer status tHan you.

AB: what the actual fuck.

AB: alternia was messed up.

FF: Yes.

AB: i mean wait thats your home planet whoops forget i said that oh wait you agree with me.

AB: oh thank gods.

AB: well i guess auntie will be fine? i know this blood isnt hers and its not like theres a justice system left to prosecute her.

FF: YeaH don't worry my planet completely sucked.

AB: ok whew.

FF: But yeaH! ! mean cons!der!ng EartH was destroyed ! don't tH!nk law break!ng matters any more.

FF: Not tHat we sHould all just turn savage, but unjust legal systems are no longer relevant.

AB: im glad you guys got off of that shithole.

FF: WHat was your aunt!e !n trouble for anyway

AB: illegal marijuana garden in the backyard. also drug dealing.

AB: its probably not what they were coming for but im pretty sure that some of those guns in aunties room are of dubious legality.

FF: Are drugs !llegal on EartH?

AB: some of them.

AB: marijuana has like no short or long term effects but for some reason its banned.

AB: but alcohol gets a pass even though tons of people die from it every day.

AB: wake up america.

FF: Weed !s k!nd of a grey area for trolls l!ke

FF: not many trolls do !t just because !t's d!scouraged and !f you're of a lower caste !t's usually ask!ng for trouble.

AB: hehe our cops tend to pick on the lower economic classes for drug use more than the higher ones as well.

FF: But a lot of tHat gets !gnored because tHe drones don't actually care tHey Have more !mportant tH!ngs to enforce.

FF: YeaH !t's complete bullsH!t How mucH sH!t trolls get away w!tH just becuase of tHe!r lousy blood.

AB: black guy in the hood? bust his ass he probably killed somebody for that weed. white liberal arts student? who cares.

AB: i wonder if the cop would have come if auntie was white.

FF: !s tHat d!scr!m!nat!on based on sk!n color?

AB: uh probably!

AB: and also discrimination based on weed usage.

AB: free the trees!

AB: alright i searched around the house a bit more and it looks like i missed a note auntie left for me on my bedroom door.

AB: she says sorry about the mess but she wanted to get out of the situation in a hurry before backup was called.

FF: Do you tH!nk sHe's on your land somewHere?

FF: Or d!d sHe leave tHe House :(

AB: she says she wants me to meet her behind the bar in town as soon as i can.

AB: theres a town on the horizon on my land. im not sure if shes referring to that or my old town on earth.

FF: Hopefully tHe one on your land, s!nce !f sHe went to a bar on EartH sHe's probably uH

FF: not around.

AB: yeah. :c

AB: theres no going back now though.

AB: all i can do is search for her in town.

AB: and i think i need to go there anyways?

AB: this is a video game and towns are where you get your quests and stuff in video games.

FF: ! would know mucH about tHat ! barely played v!deo games.

FF: But tHat sounds sens!ble! Are you go!ng to try and walk tHere or see !f tHe gate leads tHere?

AB: oh well i definitely will not walk! i have a car.

FF: WHat's a car

AB: its one of the leading causes of unnatural deaths and air pollution on my home planet.

FF: Doesn't sound great.

AB: you can go really fast in them though.

AB: i feel like i should at least see where my gate leads first but my house isn't built up to it yet.

AB: ill have to consult bobi on what she thinks.

FF: Has Bob! not f!n!sHed bu!ld!ng tHen?

AB: no.

FF: HaHa you guys need to get w!tH tHe program!

AB: i dont really know where she is.

AB: i can at least smash some imp in or something.

AB: when she comes online ill let her decide what i do.

AB: according to her these imps are just game programs that dont actually feel pain. so i guess im ok with this plan.

AB: ((*imps))

FF: YeaH ! wasn't too worr!ed about k!ll!ng tHem cons!der!ng tH!s !s a game.

FF: Bes!des, tHe l!ttle sH!ts are Host!le.

AB: i thouht as much. @-2

AB: ((*@-@ DAMN i am off my game))

FF: So even !f tHey were al!ve !t's bas!cally a k!ll!ng !n self defense?

AB: alright. i can dig that.

AB: well not the killing part but its not like im killing anyways and graaagh.

FF: !t's probably best not to tH!nk to Hard about !t. !f you worry about tHe moral!ty too mucH you could get yourself k!lled.

AB: nah man this is the kind of stuff i love to think about over a nice bowl!

AB: but considering this is no time to get high i probably wont think about it too hard.

FF: HaHa Hopefully you w!ll get a cHance, but you're r!gHt.

FF: We sHould probably save le!sure act!v!t!es for wHen we Have a b!t more of an !dea about wHat's go!ng on

AB: yeah. though i would totally like to smoke with you sometime!

AB: you down with that my sista?

FF: OH wow um ! Haven't tr!ed !t before but !t sounds l!ke !t could be cool wHy not

AB: great haha!

AB: itll be amazing just you see ill show you the light of spiritual enlightenment.

AB: i mean only if you want to.

AB: we can also just talk about communism or whatever else while we smoke. being high isnt always a spiritual experience for me.

AB: though it often is.

FF: !'m not really a sp!r!tual person !'m not sure wHat tHat enta!ls?

FF: But yeaH you can tell me all about !t!

AB: heck yesssssssssss! im mad hyped for this.

AB: ok i should probably go pack up and contact bobi now.

AB: ill talk to you later!

FF: Ok! See you soon.

[mercenaryinigo]

i cant wait til fourht of july so i can use this image 

[ruinedchildhood]

[affablebarista]

Elsu: pester volatileDemeanor.

in which elsu teaches riz about the wonders of instagram and teamwork.

-- affableBarista [AB] began pestering volatileDemeanor [VD] at 23:10 --

AB: hey hey!

AB: i need to get up to speed with who everyone is.

AB: considering that it looks like this session is half human and half troll and that ive already talked to most of the humans im assuming youre a troll?

VD: [ o ] o-oh goodness i haven't spoken to you yet i am so sorry it's not that i think you weren't important or anything because everyone here is very important i am just not good at talking to people i am so sorry

VD: [ o ] b-but um yes you do assume correctly i am a troll um and i assume you may be a human as long as that's nto offensive

AB: nah nah human is how i indentify dont worry yoself.

AB: also its no biggie! we have a lot of new people to meet and i didnt assume anything.

VD: [ o ] o-oh what a relief i am so glad you understand

VD: [ o ] u-um my name is riziee by the way it is nice to meet you sir or madame

AB: nice to meet you! my name is elsu and yes i am a sir.

AB: specifically using an exclamation point there and not a tilde because last time i used a tilde someone got pissed.

AB: also please dont actually call me sir youll make me feel old.

AB: feel free to instead call me mr m.

VD: [ o ] o-oh um i would never be um pissed so if you ever feel the need to use a tilde feel free

VD: [ o ] a-and i shall call you mr m if that is what you wish i didn't realize sir could make you feel elderly i apologize

AB: nah its okay tildes arent even my thing its just that some people are-

AB: gah there i go talking shit again.

AB: i said i wouldnt do that. sorry.

VD: [ o ] o-oh goodness you have nothing to apologize over you are fine mr m

AB: ok good. c:

VD: [ o ] s-so um i suppose maybe we should um learn a little about each other if we are to be teammates perhaps?

AB: alright.

VD: [ o ] i-i mean if you don't mind that is

AB: if you dont mind me asking what are your preferred pronouns?

VD: [ o ] p-preferred pronouns? u-um female i suppose i mean if that's alright with you

AB: uh i dont think female is a pronoun.

AB: wait shit fuck.

AB: you meant female pronouns.

AB: sorry normally im more sensitive.

VD: [ o ] o-oh no i didn't mean to confuse you that is my fault i should have said i preferred her and she i am sorry you are being plenty of kinds of sensitive mr m

AB: ah i knew i wasnt so bad.

VD: [ o ] o-of course not nothing you have said as of yet has indicated you are bad mr m you seem very respectful

AB: thank you!

AB: but ahem.

AB: so getting to know each other um.

AB: do you like do anything in your spare time?

AB: any hobbies?

VD: [ o ] o-oh i was about to ask you the same thing though since you asked first i suppose i should answer first since that would be the polite thing to do after all um i like photography and um watching cartoons sometimes i also press flowers i guess but my hobbies are a little boring to hear about i'm sure yours are much neater

AB: photography? do you have an instagram?

AB: wait do trolls have instagram.

VD: [ o ] i-instagram? i-i'm afraid i've never used one before i'm terribly sorry are they useful?

AB: yeah its super cool you can put beautiful filters over pictures and upload them from your phone!

VD: [ o ] o-oh my my phone? b-but phone pictures are not very good in quality not that i'm saying they are bad or anything i might have to see if i can get this instagram though my phone is an old model so it may not work i am sorry

AB: nah phone pictures are just fine theres no reason to even own an actual camera!

VD: [ o ] w-well my camera was broken recently so um perhaps you are right i shall see if i can get this instagram on it let me try now in fact

VD: [ o ] u-um how do i get it exactly?

AB: uh.

AB: just go to the app store it should be there.

VD: [ o ] a-app store? m-maybe my phone is simply too old for this app store i am so sorry mr m i really did want to try this instagram

VD: [ o ] o-oh wait actually i think i may have found it!

VD: [ o ] i-i am downloading it now it looks like it is coming along quickly

AB: great!

AB: once its done downloading how about you upload a selfie?

VD: [ o ] a-a selfie? i-i really have only taken one selfie but i suppose i could try to take one with this instagram for you

AB: yeah ive never actually seen a troll before!

AB: well i guess i have in movies and storybooks and stuff.

AB: but you probably look way different from that.

VD: [ o ] p-perhaps i mean i was surprised the first time i saw a human myself but um i took the selfie i shall try to send it to you

AB: yes thank you.

VD: -volatileDemeanor [VD] has sent affableBarista [AB] the file "itriedaselfieinstagramimsorryifitsbad.jpg"-

AB: ah cool you have horns!

AB: you look kind of pained. are you hurt?

VD: [ o ] o-oh um yes we do have horns but um no i am fine the only pain i suffer is the loss of my favorite camera

VD: [ o ] i-i am truly fine though i swear

AB: alright just checking. you arent still upset about that though are you?

VD: [ o ] w-well i mean maybe just a little bit but it isn't your fault or anything i was being careless with it and let it fall i'm sorry

AB: ah ah dont worry about it.

AB: c:

AB: so uh. i guess we should get to my interests.

VD: [ o ] y-yes i am quite interested to hear of your interests

AB: well i like to think of myself as a bit of an amateur media analyst.

AB: i especially like tv shows considering that you can see the emotions behind the scenes.

AB: oh and sometimes i like to smoke a little doobie to enhance the experience.

VD: [ o ] o-oh so you can tell the sorts of things people who make shows want you to know?

AB: uh yeah.

AB: so like when they show that scene where hes crying over his brothers death?

AB: i can decipher the meaning behind every facial twitch and teardrop in that scene.

AB: not that im special for it or anything.

VD: [ o ] b-but that is special it's a great talent to have i think mr m i mean everything has a meaning behind it right and it's always important to know what message an author would like to get across

VD: [ o ] a-and you can figure it out!

AB: thats right!

AB: im glad you can appreciate it. everyone else seems to think its something everyone can do.

VD: [ o ] i-i'm surprised i mean i can do it for some shows but some of them almost come out and say what the lesson or purpose is

VD: [ o ] t-to be able to pick it out in other things seems incredibly difficult to me at least

AB: yeah even the weird artsy ones with confusing plots are no trouble for me!

AB: you should see my 5 page essay on the ending of earthbound.

AB: not that earthbound has a confusing plot.

VD: [ o ] o-oh i have never seen um earthbound it sounds interesting though is it about earth maybe?

AB: uh shit of course a game called earthbound wouldnt have an alternian equivalent.

AB: alterniabound maybe?

AB: though some voice in my head is telling me that that name is already taken by something.

AB: i dont know maybe i need to stop smoking so much. haha blaze it.

VD: [ o ] p-perhaps there was such a game though i'm not a huge gamer i just may not have heard of it i'm sorry

AB: nah its no big deal.

AB: so have you gotten in the medium yet?

VD: [ o ] o-oh yes i believe so though i have only ventured outside once i'm sorry

VD: [ o ] i-i take it that means you are in the medium with us as well?

AB: yeah.

AB: i havent even ventured outside once yet. i was kind of stuck in my room for a few hours there.

AB: oh well i was the first one in apparently. i have time to catch up.

AB: may as well take it easy.

VD: [ o ] t-the first one in wow that's amazing it must have been tough not knowing what to do though

VD: [ o ] u-um where did you wind up if you don't mind my asking?

AB: im not actually sure of the name yet but i can see that im in some sort of field.

AB: i didnt even know i was transported at first considering that its so much like where i lived before.

AB: but now that ive taken a good look out my window i can see a mountainous island i guess?

AB: i guess im on a set of floating islands.

VD: [ o ] f-floating islands wow everywhere seems so different from place to place

VD: [ o ] y-you're not afraid of heights or anything i hope?

AB: nah these islands are huge! theres no danger.

AB: though i guess i will have to find my way over to one of the other islands eventually.

VD: [ o ] i-if you do be careful it would be terrible if you fell i hope there is a sturdy bridge perhaps

AB: hold on i got a pair of binoculars.

AB: ...

AB: it looks like theres some chains connecting this island to the nearest mountainous one?

AB: but they look heavily guarded.

VD: [ o ] g-guarded oh gods that sounds terribly dangerous

AB: pshaw if ive learned anything from video games i probably just need to find the nearest plot coupon before they let me through.

AB: anyways.

AB: whats your land like?

VD: [ o ] o-oh my land is kind of dreary i'm afraid it's hard to see even though i have pretty good night vision everything is hard and made of some kind of smooth stone and the things that live here are either imps or sad creatures who i have yet to meet

VD: [ o ] i-i haven't done a whole lot here i'm sorry

AB: nah take your time!

AB: a job rushed is a job poorly done.

VD: [ o ] o-oh gods i am glad you understand

AB: so are you in some sort of cave?

VD: [ o ] n-no there is definitely a sky above me i think this place is just made out of rock as far as i can tell there is no dirt or plants

AB: thats kind of spooky.

AB: a place with no vegetation.

AB: kind of like how earth would have ended up in a few decades had it not been destroyed already.

AB: haha zing.

VD: [ o ] o-oh gods was earth really in such bad shape? t-though i am presuming a decade is a short amount of time i really don't understand how it works

AB: we actually have gobs of trash the size of a small country circling around our oceans.

AB: it wasnt pretty.

AB: ((*the size of small countries))

VD: [ o ] o-oh gods that sounds terrible especially assuming countries are large even the small ones maybe

AB: yeah theyre pretty big. and our forests were being cut down at excrutiating rates.

AB: but enough about a planet thats been gone for at least a few hours now.

AB: i really have to get going now or at least introduce myself to some more people.

AB: i really enjoyed talking to you! if were lucky we might get to work together in the future.

AB: working together...

AB: theres a certain value to working together even in difficult circumstances.

VD: [ o ] w-working together is nice i hope i didn't seem too awful to you or anything i hope you wouldn't mind up teaming up sometime maybe i thought you were very nice and informative

AB: through working together you learn patience diligence and another persons point of view.

AB: listen up riz!

AB: we all gotta stick together to make it through this.

AB: that much is quickly becoming apparent. its clearly what the game is setting us up to do.

AB: probably for some sort of personal growth.

VD: [ o ] o-oh my so then you really wouldn't mind working together too much then?

AB: no thats what we gotta do! and i enjoy such interactions either way.

VD: [ o ] a-alright if that's what we must do i will do it as well i just hope the others will too at least one other at least

AB: im going to put up with the more difficult people in our group for the sake of learning what the game wants me to learn. i hope youll do the same with this other person riz.

VD: [ o ] o-oh no i would never not put up with them they are wonderful and i would never say anything bad about them really i swear

AB: great. its nice to have a teammate or comrade as carada would say that understands my point of view.

AB: we dont gotta enjoy their presence we just gotta learn. as do they.

VD: [ o ] o-oh so you have spoken to Carada? s-she's very nice i'm a bit happy that another lowblood besides myself made it into the game

AB: yeah shes pretty rad actually!

AB: ive never spoken to an actual communist before.

VD: [ o ] s-she has a lot of interesting theories that could maybe even true

VD: [ o ] d-did she tell you that maybe we're all under some kind of government influence and our real bodies are somewhere else and we may be trapped here as long as they keep us imprisoned in our minds?

VD: [ o ] CLICK! i-it's a little scary

AB: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh no.

AB: well that may be a little crazy but i gotta hear people out.

AB: maybe shes the only sane one yknow?

VD: [ o ] e-everything she said sounded so plausible though you think this might be some kind of conspiricy we're trapped in?

AB: who knows this is all so new to me.

AB: id like to smoke a bowl over this with her sometime. get to understand how she truly thinks.

VD: [ o ] s-smoke a bowl? c-can you do that?

AB: uh yeah dude ive been smoking since 5th grade.

VD: [ o ] 5-5th grade? i-is that a long time? i-i don't know what that means or how it compares to your current age i am so sorry

AB: uh. 5th grade would be when i was 10. so prepuberty.

AB: im currently 16 which would make me an adolescent.

VD: [ o ] s-so quite a long time then if the distance between your 10 and 16 is anything like our sweeps

VD: [ o ] t-though i don't mean to assume i'm really not sure how it all translates

AB: i dont even know man i was never good at math. @-@

VD: [ o ] t-that is one thing we share the only math i was ever good at were measurements

VD: [ o ] a-and i spent a long time perfecting those so it's really not much of an accomplishment

AB: no if you spent time perfecting a skill i say its an accomplishment!

VD: [ o ] b-but i spent time perfecting it for dumb reasons so i'm not so sure about that i'm sorry

AB: i dont see how the reasoning affects whether its an accomplishment or not.

VD: [ o ] i-i guess i maybe have a little trouble seeing how much of anything i do is an accomplishment i guess

AB: nothing wrong with having a little self confidence!

VD: [ o ] g-gods i said i guess twice i'm sorry

AB: maybe self confidence is a skill you can work on.

VD: [ o ] c-can you really work on that?

AB: uh i guess?

AB: maybe just mentally replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts or something.

AB: shit i dunno.

VD: [ o ] i-i'll certainly try if you'd like me to mr m

AB: nah dont do it for me do it for yourself!

VD: [ o ] i-i could do that too if you'd like

VD: [ o ] o-oh um i mean i will do it for myself whether you like it or not was that better maybe i don't want to sound rude i'm sorry

AB: yeah thats better i guess!

AB: now uh if youll excuse me.

AB: like i said i have some stuff to do.

VD: [ o ] o-oh yes of course i didn't mean to stall you i'm sorry

AB: it was nice chatting with you so talk to you later!

-- affableBarista [AB] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

[affablebarista]

Hank: Pester affableBarista.

in which elsu tries to be patient with hank and gets rewarded with grist.

-- bombasticBrave [BB] began pestering affableBarista [AB] at 21:33 --

[09:34] BB: I haven't seen you yet! Helloooo new guy!

[09:35] AB: oh hey!

[09:35] BB: So what's your name dude!? 8D

[09:35] AB: names elsu. whats yours?

[09:35] BB: Hehehe you wanna know? Okay I'll tell you!

[09:36] BB: My heart burns with the fiercness of 1000 heart burns!

[09:36] AB: what.

[09:36] AB: @-@

[09:36] BB: The sky clears each time and flowers blooms whenever I make me some baby back ribs!

[09:37] BB: My Butt dimples grows hard and cries out for justice!

[09:37] BB: I am Kamen Rider Miracle!

[09:37] BB: HANK

[09:37] BB: ROGERS!!!

[09:37] AB: @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

[09:38] AB: ok um.

[09:38] BB: *Super Dynamic Ultra Magneficent Dazzling Heavenly Pose of Fate!*

[09:38] AB: so are you like some vigilante hero or something.

[09:38] BB: Depends! If my deeds are deem wrong to many then so be it!

[09:39] BB: I won't stop till justice is served!

[09:40] AB: dude what are you doing that makes your deeds seem wrong to so many people?

[09:40] BB: People don't like masked heroes ! Some of them

[09:40] BB: But that's okay!

[09:41] BB: As long as I can protect those I love it's worth it!

[09:41] AB: ok good just making sure youre not murdering people or something.

[09:42] AB: so like.

[09:42] AB: is your family in danger all the time?

[09:42] BB: Oh no! My dad is, or

[09:42] BB: was

[09:42] BB: a very strong dude! I don't have

[09:42] BB: didn't

[09:42] BB: have to worry about him

[09:43] AB: oh. :c

[09:44] BB: But gotta make sure no one else is hurt right!

[09:44] BB: Like you!

[09:44] BB: AS my friend I will always got your back!

[09:49] AB: um.

[09:49] AB: dude we just met.

[09:50] BB: Yeah??? So that means we can be friends!

[09:51] AB: no its more like it means we can become friends.

[09:51] BB: And so as my buddy! I got your back :3

[09:52] AB: i appreciate that youre less caustic than some other people but dude opening up the gate to someone elses mind is a slow process.

[09:52] AB: well maybe not slow.

[09:52] AB: but it cant be done in an instant.

[09:52] BB: Oh yes it can!

[09:52] BB: I got this idea

[09:53] BB: that we build a giant slinger thingie

[09:53] BB: and then launch me up to one!

[09:53] BB: but people think it's a bad idea

[09:54] AB: no i mean like.

[09:54] AB: the gate is a metaphor.

[09:54] AB: @-@

[09:55] BB: Oh!

[09:55] BB: I'm confused! 8D

[09:55] AB: dont worry dude itll come to you in time.

[09:55] BB: You think so O:

[09:55] AB: i know i had to meditate on the phrase for years to come to its meaning.

[09:56] BB: Wow, Elsu your so cool!

[09:56] BB: Super cool!!!

[09:58] AB: uh shucks not really.

[09:58] AB: but thanks. c:

[09:59] BB: uh chucks super really! uvu you are welcome!

[09:59] AB: so like.

[10:00] AB: how are you doing game wise?

[10:00] AB: whats your land like?

[10:04] BB: Wellllll

[10:04] BB: I'm about to leave my house

[10:05] BB: And my land is literally storming up the ying yang

[10:05] BB: like omg dude 4 seconds then bam lightning

[10:05] BB: Then Boom thunder!

[10:05] BB: Then the rain!

[10:07] AB: shit.

[10:07] AB: er wait.

[10:07] AB: should i be cursing around young children? sorry.

[10:08] BB: I ain't young!

[10:08] BB: I'm 17

[10:08] BB: Hmph!

[10:08] AB: oh.

[10:08] AB: oh.

[10:08] AB: um.

[10:08] AB: ok.

[10:08] AB: @-@

[10:11] BB: I'm hurt Elsu!

[10:11] BB: You thought I was a kid

[10:11] BB: Awe

[10:11] BB: I'm kidding! Nah it's fine!

[10:11] BB: 83

[10:11] AB: sorry dude. aha be careful around that lightning you might get hurt.

[10:11] AB: dont wear anything metal!

[10:12] BB: Awe thank you1

[10:12] BB: !

[10:12] BB: But what's the worse that can happen!

[10:14] AB: death if youre not careful.

[10:15] BB: But!

[10:15] BB: It won't happen!

[10:15] BB: Cause I promised a friend I won't die

[10:15] BB: sooo 8D I can't go back on my word

[10:15] AB: ok but you could still become paralyzed for life.

[10:16] AB: or have your brain or heart fucked up.

[10:17] BB: Truuust me that won't happen to me!

[10:18] BB: I'm invunerable!

[10:18] AB: @-@

[10:19] AB: dude just be careful for me ok?

[10:19] BB: Alright then!

[10:19] BB: For you Elsu I will be careful! You have my word

[10:20] AB: okay.

[10:21] AB: im kind of concerned because our objective is to build up our house towards to the sky.

[10:21] AB: and its dangerous to be up high during lightning.

[10:21] AB: but weirdly i only see one gate above my house?

[10:22] AB: the others must be elsewhere.

[10:22] AB: could you go out and tell me how many portal looking things you see above your house?

[10:23] BB: Last time I been out there I couldn't see nothing but black skies and lightning uvu I'm sure it's up there though

[10:23] BB: maybe by passing through one gate you get the see the next one

-- bombasticBrave [BB] changed their mood to CHUMMY --

[10:24] AB: probably.

[10:24] AB: speaking of which i really need to get going.

[10:24] BB: Where ya headed Elsu-bro!

[10:25] AB: i just told bobi that id defeat some imps to collect grist so we can build up my house towards the gate.

[10:25] AB: yet here i am pestering two people.

[10:26] BB: Well talking to friends is fun! You don't have to rush it = w= take it niiice and slow my man

[10:32] AB: trust me most of the time i do take it nice and slow.

[10:33] AB: but this quest is pretty important.

[10:33] AB: and more importantly.

[10:33] AB: bobi will yell at me if she comes back and i still have no grist.

[10:34] BB: Awe man is there like any wya for me to give you mine?

[10:35] BB: I got some to spare

[10:35] AB: i dunno maybe?

[10:35] AB: i remember something about a grist torrenting service in the beta.

[10:36] AB: let me google it.

[10:36] BB: kaaay!

[10:37] AB: -- Elsu sends the link to Hank --

[10:38] AB: alright im downloading the program now.

[10:40] BB: Sweet doin' the same now!

[10:45] AB: ok i think what you do is.

[10:45] AB: you should see gates on your screen in everyones text color.

[10:46] AB: see if you can send some of your spare grist to the slightly peachy light orange one.

[10:50] BB: I seee it and I'm gonna try and send you some shale grist!

[10:50] BB: Tell me if you get it kay home slice?

[10:50] AB: i dont really know how to check how much grist i have. i think only my server can do that.

[10:57] BB: Well hush my mouth bend me over and call me grandma >.>

[11:02] AB: but anyways. it should have worked.

[11:02] AB: thanks for doing that for me!

[11:02] BB: You think so?

[11:02] BB: No problem!

[11:02] BB: If you need more let me know I'll just hunt for more imps!

[11:02] AB: yeah no reason why it shouldnt have.

[11:03] AB: ill try to do stuff on my own so i dont have to take you up on that offer. but if bobi gets mad at me i just might be coming back for more!

[11:05] BB: No worries! I'll give you lots of grists! It's what friends do for one another ye? uvu yeee

[11:06] AB: yeah yeah sure. alright catch ya later i really have to at least explore my surroundings now!

[11:06] BB: Be safe! Have a nice trip!

[11:07] AB: i will! bye!

-- affableBarista [AB] changed their mood to OFFLINE --

[affablebarista]

Elsu: Pester fatalisticFortune.

-- affableBarista [AB] began pestering fatalisticFortune [FF] at 18:11 --

[06:12] AB: alright bobi told me to talk around. i have like a fifty fifty chance of getting this right so imma guess.

[06:12] AB: are you one of the trolls?

[06:12] FF: Correct!

[06:12] AB: yes!

[06:13] FF: !'m guess!ng your a Human? Based on tHe wHole color tH!ng.

[06:13] FF: And lack of a qu!rk ! suppose.

[06:13] AB: yes! shit this is exciting.

[06:13] AB: so im guessing trolls and humans hare similar intelligence levels if were talking like this.

[06:13] AB: also the same language?

[06:13] AB: what?

[06:14] FF: !s !t really tHat exc!t!ng? You must Have talked to a few trolls by now r!gHt

[06:14] FF: YeaH tHat !s k!nd of we!rd actually How come we even understand eacH otHer

[06:15] AB: no. ive mostly just been making rambling tumblr posts instead of talking around. whoops.

[06:15] FF: OH really? You sHould g!ve me your tumblr ! Had one of tHose altHougH !'m not sure How relevent a lot of !t !s wHat w!tH tHe current state of tH!ngs

[06:16] AB: we have tumblr in common too. im not even going to question that.

[06:16] AB: affableBarista.tumblr.com

[06:16] AB: my theme is very minimalist as you can see.

[06:17] FF: !s tHat tHe default tHeme.

[06:17] FF: M!ne's fatal!st!cfortune.tumblr.com

[06:17] FF: Um but w!tHout tHe qu!rk obv!ously.

[06:18] AB: yes it is. i am making a statement about how narcissistic blogging really is.

[06:19] FF: OH r!gHt ! Hope my blog doesn't come across as too narc!ss!st!c tHen ! spent qu!te a long t!me on tHe banner

[06:38] AB: hmmm.

[06:38] AB: well it doesnt seem terrible.

[06:39] AB: why did you do a purposely bad edit of some communist leaders though? are you anti-communist?

[06:40] FF: WHat no!!

[06:40] FF: Commun!sm !s l!ke my wHole TH!NG.

[06:40] FF: (But don't tell everyone ok).

[06:40] AB: so like do you worship troll russia?

[06:42] AB: whoops that was a pretty erroneous assumption.

[06:42] FF: WHat's Russ!a

[06:42] AB: sorry i just get excited at the prospect of new religions.

[06:43] AB: uh russia is this huge cold place that people try to invade except they cant because they die from the cold.

[06:44] AB: so do you have troll china at least?

[06:44] FF: WHat does tHat Have to do w!tH commun!sm

[06:44] AB: russia had like this huge thing with communism.

[06:44] FF: No ! don't tH!nk so.

[06:44] AB: and china has this whole big thing with it currently.

[06:44] FF: Do Humans Have wars amongst d!fferent areas of land?

[06:44] AB: yes.

[06:45] FF: OH wow wHat you Have REAL COMMUN!ST AREAS ON EARTH??

[06:46] FF: D!d tHey work properly and everytH!ng? Also wHat type of commun!sm was !t because !'m Honestly more of an anarco-commun!st.

[06:46] AB: yeah we do!

[06:46] AB: im not sure what type of communism our countries are exactly but russia failed pretty hard. :c

[06:47] FF: OH :(

[06:47] AB: i think its currently trying to become capitalist? i dont even know ill have to google the shit.

[06:47] AB: and then china is functional i guess.

[06:47] FF: But ! don't know ! mean some trolls tH!nk tHe governments sHould be wHat create and ma!nta!n commun!sm but ! prefer tHe !dea of !t be!ng self-govern!ng.

[06:48] AB: self governing what do you mean by that?

[06:48] FF: Maybe tHat's overly !deal!st!c? But Honestly ! tH!nk !f you were to de-soc!al!se trolls we could def!n!tely adapt to a less Host!le and more altru!st!c soc!ety.

[06:49] FF: OH ! mean we'd abol!sH tHe system of government altogetHer and rule by major!ty.

[06:49] FF: ! tH!nk !f people just sat down and talked face to face you'd be supr!sed How mucH could cHange?

[06:49] AB: hmm.

[06:50] AB: that sounds oddly appealing.

[06:50] FF: Obv!ously !f you were to do tH!s on a planet w!de scale !t would be fa!rly !mpract!cal, so ! !mag!ne !t would be more l!ke tHousands of small communes tHat ally w!tH one anotHer?

[06:51] FF: Some people tH!nk tHey'd end up just d!v!d!ng based on blood type but actually !f you tH!nk about !t blood types are all d!fferent for a reason and tHere's be no sense !n a purely-blueblooded soc!ety? You need a m!xture of tHe castes to run tH!ngs smootHly.

[06:51] FF: OH wow sorry !'m sort of talk!ng too mucH Here.

[06:52] AB: wait what is this about blood type?

[06:52] AB: blue blooded implies royalty blood type implies stuff like O A B and AB.

[06:52] AB: i am confused by your terminology.

[06:53] FF: Wow ok you really Haven't been talk!ng to any trolls uH

[06:53] FF: On our planet your soc!al status !s determ!ned by tHe colour of your blood, and !t goes from red!sH to more purple?

[06:54] FF: !'ve been told !t sounds s!m!lar to Humans and sk!n color? AltHougH a lot more extreme tHan tHan.

[06:54] FF: *tHat

[06:54] AB: interesting.

[06:54] AB: though our skin color relations are not as cut and dry as that.

[06:54] AB: it just gets really complicated and weird im not even going to go into it.

[06:56] AB: its just too much to explain to an outsider.

[06:57] AB: so what is your blood color?

[06:57] FF: Our !s probably pretty complex to you too but ! can g!ve tHe tHe j!st of !t: H!gHbloods and royals are a buncH of assHoles opress!ng tHe lowbloods and !'m really glad our planet !s gone.

[06:57] FF: OH! Yellow.

[06:58] FF: (We type !n our blood colours by tHe way.)

[06:58] AB: oh ok good to know.

[06:58] AB: so like where does that put you on the scale?

[06:58] AB: im trying to guess but i was guessing lower than red and that doesnt make any sense since you said red was the lowest.

[06:58] AB: ugh.

[06:59] AB: my head hurts. @-@

[06:59] FF: !'m near tHe bottom but not as low as red or brown.

[07:00] FF: Sorry for tHe !nformat!on overload.

[07:00] AB: no its ok i shouldnt have gotten blazed today anyways.

[07:00] FF: !t's tHe end of tHe world so yeaH maybe not.

[07:01] AB: so like are blood colors kind of clumped together in groups like lowbloods and highbloods or do you go around oppressing brownbloods and such?

[07:01] FF: THen aga!n !t could work pretty well as a cop!ng dev!ce maybe??? ! wouldn't really know.

[07:01] FF: No way! But some of us would :(

[07:01] FF: Mostly !t's tHe H!gHbloods or are assHoles tHougH.

[07:01] AB: :c

[07:02] FF: THat's anytH!ng from cereleun up, altHougH tHere are except!ons!

[07:02] AB: argh im trying to think of a comparable thing in our society but ugh. @-@

[07:03] AB: youre right weed is a pretty good coping mechanism.

[07:03] AB: but i got high before i realized the world was ending and the stress is a little much.

[07:03] AB: its ok though i think im starting to come off my high.

[07:09] FF: !'ve never really been H!gH so ! don't really know wHat you're talk!ng about to be Honest

[07:11] AB: er its ok usually i can think pretty deeply when im high its just the stress.

[07:11] AB: you should try it sometime!

[07:12] FF: HaHa maybe. ! tH!nk some of tHe comrades ! knew onl!ne were !nto !t?

[07:12] AB: its freaky and maybe a little scary the first time but youll get used to it quickly.

[07:13] AB: i remember my first time like it was only yesterday.

[07:13] FF: Were you ok?

[07:13] AB: yes auntie was there to guide me through it and make it into a rite of passage!

[07:14] AB: i could not have asked for a better 10th birthday.

[07:15] FF: wa!t !sn't tHat l!ke 4 sweeps.

[07:16] AB: um i dont know how many sweeps are in a year?

[07:22] FF: ! tH!nk bob! sa!d 2.2? But we were guess!ng a lot.

[07:23] FF: !t's usually adolencents wHo smoke on altern!a do Humans just start really young

[07:28] AB: wait theres 2.2 sweeps in a year i think we got confused here. @-@

[07:28] AB: ugh forget it.

[07:28] AB: point is that most humans start at an adolescent or young adult age.

[07:29] FF: OH r!gHt you you were just an unusual case?

[07:29] AB: yeah. auntie and i just have old world religious beliefs that are very unusual for our kind.

[07:29] AB: were very inspired by the rastafari movement.

[07:30] AB: so like. weed is a very spiritual thing for us.

[07:30] FF: OH tHat's really neat!

[07:30] FF: So l!ke, non-PartHanon bel!efs?

[07:31] FF: ! never even cons!dered tHat tHere m!gHt be people wHo worsH!ped otHer tH!ngs.

[07:31] AB: yes! as far as i know were the only humans who worship things other than the pantheon.

[07:31] AB: i guess trolls worship the pantheon too?

[07:32] AB: i think i vaguely remember someone saying something about a clown religion though.

[07:32] FF: OH tHat barely even qual!f!es as a rel!g!on !t's just tH!s

[07:32] FF: r!d!culous cult.

[07:33] AB: see the cult part just makes me more interested.

[07:33] AB: were they persecuted for their beliefs?

[07:33] FF: No you don't understand !t's so sup!d.

[07:33] FF: not really, most pract!t!oners are H!gHbloods wHo people don't normally cHallenge.

[07:34] FF: *Were, ! guess.

[07:34] AB: so i guess thats the equivalent of those crazy cults that famous white people join here.

[07:35] AB: before promptly losing their jobs and all social standing.

[07:35] FF: Yes and !t was more of a sp!n-off of ma!nstream rel!g!on tHan an ent!rely d!fferent one?

[07:36] AB: thats kind of how most cults and religions go here too.

[07:36] FF: THey tHougHt clowns were go!ng to stop tHe appoclypse or some sH!t? HaHa.

[07:37] AB: please dont tell me that there are people who believe in this in our group.

[07:37] AB: i mean wait.

[07:37] AB: they can believe it if they want.

[07:37] AB: have to be culturally sensitive.

[07:37] AB: just dont like.

[07:38] AB: talk about it.

[07:38] FF: Not as far as ! know, tHank god.

[07:39] FF: Plenty of PantHeon bel!evers, tHougH. :/

[07:40] AB: ugh. well that was to be expected anyways.

[07:41] AB: though i guess they were right all along anyways.

[07:41] FF: UgggggH maybe.

[07:42] AB: i dont even know what this means for me and my personal religion. :c

[07:42] FF: !'m k!nd of Hop!ng not but probably mostly out of stubornness at tH!s po!nt.

[07:42] FF: Hmm, can you not bel!eve !n botH?

[07:42] AB: um.

[07:43] AB: well ive had no trouble piecing together things from multiple religions in the past.

[07:43] AB: i guess ill just have to deal and incorporate this new development somehow.

[07:43] AB: luckily i did do my homework on the pantheon if only out of sheer antipathy for it.

[07:44] FF: ! guess !t can't Hurt!

[07:44] FF: Same Here, ! Had some very good tHeor!es about How tHe rel!g!on was used to control trolls and stop tHem tH!nk!ng and

[07:44] FF: even !f !t WAS true ! tH!nk ! do st!ll Have a case.

[07:48] AB: using the truth to manipulate. a very interesting possibility.

[07:48] FF: No well

[07:48] FF: THey d!dn't KNOW !t was true for sure!!

[07:49] FF: And anyway tHey made everyone focus so Hard on tr!an!ng tHat tHey'd never tH!ng to quest!on tHe world tHey l!ved !n.

[07:51] FF: !t was BULLSH!T even !f tHey turned out to be r!gHt

[07:51] FF: Anyway tHe tr!an!ng was pretty useless obv!ously cons!der!ng wHo's been "CHOSEN".

[07:53] AB: we were trained pretty hard one earth as well. well i wasnt because i was illegally homeschooled but whatever.

[07:53] AB: auntie still taught me how to fight or at least escape from a cop though.

[07:53] AB: its all good.

[07:54] AB: like she told me to stay still and do what the cop says but then she also taught me how to escape.

[07:54] AB: just in case.

[07:55] FF: ! guess escape metHods are always useful, espec!ally !f we come across tougH enem!es.

[07:56] AB: yes i think im set.

[07:56] FF: You w!ll Have to sHow me tHese escape tact!cs. Honestly ! don't know wHy we're not pool!ng our sk!lls more.

[07:57] AB: eh before we get to pooling skills lets work on not insulting each other behind others backs.

[07:57] FF: !'m combat tra!ned enougH to be able to Handle wHat we d!d so far? ! pa!d attent!on !n tra!n!ng just !n case tHere was ever a revolut!on ! could get on board

[07:57] FF: WHy wHat Have people been say!ng to you

[07:59] AB: eh i think mentioning names would qualify as talking shit.

[07:59] AB: i am not going to perpetuate this bullshit.

[08:02] FF: Ok !'ll prom!se not to compla!n about tHe otHers to you.

[08:02] FF: You're probably r!gHt, !t can't do us good as a team.

[08:03] AB: yes everyone just needs to chill out and smoke one out.

[08:03] AB: ill have to organize a party soon.

[08:04] FF: OH yeaH tHast sounds good !t'd be n!ce !f we could all just s!t down and get ot know eacH otHer !n a less obtuse way

[08:05] AB: yeah i havent even met a good deal of you people yet.

[08:06] FF: ! know most of you now at least a l!ttle?

[08:06] FF: Honestly we're a b!t of a we!rd buncH but everyone seems bas!cally decent and tHat's good enougH for me.

[08:06] FF: !n fact !ts more tHan ! expected? So yeaH.

[08:06] AB: good good.

[08:07] AB: seems like everyones been talking around but me. quite ironic since im usually the one talking about opening up the gates to other peoples personal gardens.

[08:08] FF: OtHer people's wHat

[08:08] AB: personal gardens!

[08:08] AB: their minds!

[08:08] AB: people are very interesting and you can learn a lot from them.

[08:08] AB: deep shit man.

[08:10] FF: AH !'m sort of tHe oppos!te ! guess. ! usually sort of avo!ded otHer trolls back on Altern!a because tHey were probably out to get me but s!nce we're Here and pract!cally on level ground !'ve been try!ng to be braver and contact otHers and actually

[08:10] FF: a lot of tHem Have plesantly surpr!sed me?

[08:10] AB: hah its great that youre socializing!

[08:10] FF: WH!cH makes me tH!nk, maybe tHere really !s Hope for commun!sm!

[08:12] AB: um. youll have to convince the others that communism is a good idea first and that could prove to be a daunting challenge.

[08:13] AB: but make sure to hear the others out!

[08:13] AB: you need to be learning from them just like they should be learning from you.

[08:13] AB: sociology 101.

[08:18] FF: UH sure.

[08:18] FF: ! don't know !f !'m really up to tHe task of convert!ng a wHole buncH of people tHougH a lot of tHem Have really strong personal!t!es.

[08:21] AB: well it may be difficult but that just makes it all the more important for you to come to understand them.

[08:21] AB: i know bobi is difficult to deal with but shes not so bad.

[08:22] AB: maybe after you understand them you can convince them that communism is the way!

[08:22] AB: but if not thats ok.

[08:22] AB: everyone has their worldview.

[08:22] AB: worldviews arent necessarily wrong or right.

[08:24] FF: WHat no ! l!ke Bob!

[08:24] FF: SHe's been really n!ce to me so far.

[08:25] AB: uh really?

[08:25] FF: Anyway ! t!Hnk some worldv!ews ARE wrong l!ke tHeres no way you're tell!ng me tHe stuff tHat Happened on our planet was okay.

[08:25] FF: But at tHe same t!me !t's not l!ke ! tH!nk commun!sm !s tHe ONLY way forward !t's just an !deal.

[08:30] AB: hum. well that just makes it easier for us to figure something out.

[08:30] AB: what would we even be governing though?

[08:30] AB: i guess the new world were prophecized to create.

[08:30] FF: YeaH exactly!

[08:30] FF: THat or we're supossed to just start a c!v!l!sat!on Here? But tHat seems unl!kely.

[08:31] AB: yeah were kind of at a genetic bottleneck here.

[08:31] AB: hopefully the new world will have more members of our species.

[08:35] FF: Hopefully! And a matr!orb, !deally.

[08:36] AB: what does the matriorb do?

[08:41] FF: !t's wHat tHe motHer grub !s HatcHed from oH man expla!n!ng tH!s aga!n

[08:42] AB: mother grub ok i think that explains it.

[08:42] FF: Bas!cally !t lays all tHe eggs tHat make troll "bab!es".

[08:43] AB: alright easy enough.

[08:43] AB: just like the science fiction movies.

[08:44] AB: because apparently real life mystical creatures have to follow a science fiction or fantasy format.

[08:44] AB: whoops sorry that was probably pretty offensive to indirectly refer to you as a mystical creature.

[08:44] AB: yeah im shutting up.

[08:45] FF: NaH !t's okay ! st!ll can't Help but tH!nk of you guys as myst!cal creatures a l!ttle b!t?

[08:45] FF: Probably because ! used to watcH some (probably offens!ve) cartoons about Humans.

[08:50] AB: whoa like what kind?

[08:54] FF: UH well.

[08:55] FF: THere was one ! really l!ked tHat was meant to be about H!gH scHool? And !t Had a buncH of female Humans !n !t altHougH tHey weren't really anytH!ng l!ke actual Humans !t was pretty stup!d really.

[08:56] AB: oh my god.

[08:57] AB: we have trolls in our works but theyre mostly big hairy ugly looking things.

[08:57] AB: what was this show called?

[08:57] FF: ! always tHougHt !t looks l!ke fun but !t seems ! was mostly m!s!nformed apparently H!gH scHool sucks.

[08:57] FF: Human H!gH.

[08:57] FF: !nvent!ve t!tle ! know

[08:57] AB: i wouldnt even know if it sucks or not ive never been. :c

[08:58] AB: but from what ive heard from my friends yes it does suck.

[09:00] FF: THat's sucH a sHame! ! used to really want to go even !f !t meant wear!ng s!lly clotHes.

[09:02] AB: erm most public schools dont have uniforms if thats what youre talking about.

[09:09] FF: No ! meant more tH!s fasH!on tH!ng Humans do tHat's a tH!ng r!gHt.

[09:10] FF: GosH sorry tH!s probably sounds really culturally !nsens!t!ve.

[09:11] AB: um excuse me fashion is the best thing ever!

[09:11] AB: well mens fashion anyways.

[09:11] AB: womens fashion is just really needlessly complex.

[09:11] FF: OH ! don't know mucH about tHat HH was mostly about tHe g!rls.

[09:11] AB: like girls have so many different options for clothes?

[09:12] FF: YeaH tHat's wHat !t seemed l!ke and !t must Have taken Hours to set up!! And !t was so !MPRACT!CAL.

[09:12] FF: Not tHat !t's a factual sHow, but you know.

[09:12] AB: no girls sometimes where impractical clothes in real life too.

[09:12] AB: im looking at you high heels.

[09:12] AB: ((*wear what))

[09:16] FF: OH fuck are H!gH Heels a real tH!ng

[09:18] AB: yes.

[09:18] AB: dumbest stuff ever.

[09:20] FF: Are m!n! sk!rts a real tH!ng too

[09:22] AB: yes.

[09:22] AB: im crying its all so dumb how do girls handle it.

[09:24] FF: ! dunno! Troll g!rls don't Have tHem.

[09:24] FF: Well trolls don't really bel!eve !n "fasH!on".

[09:24] FF: Unless we're royalty?

[09:26] AB: well i suppose the lack of womens fashion balances out the lack of mens fashion.

[09:26] AB: your society escapes my scorn.

[09:26] AB: not that i would scorn it anyways because im too culturally sensitive for that.

[09:27] FF: Yes ! was about to say tHat wouldn't be very culturally sens!t!ve.

[09:28] AB: yes.

[09:28] AB: anyways.

[09:28] FF: !'m a l!ttle rel!eved most Human g!rls !'ve met don't seem !nterested !n !t to be Honest.

[09:29] FF: Yes anyways. ! actually need to do tH!s cl!b!ng up my House tH!ng.

[09:29] AB: thank the gods which i have just now learned probably exist.

[09:29] AB: and i have to explore downstairs.

[09:29] FF: My server w!ll probably be p!ssed !f ! don't actually make use of H!s Help, HaHa.

[09:30] FF: You Haven't gone downsta!rs yet? HaHa ok good luck!

[09:30] AB: yeah i gotta find my aunt.

[09:30] AB: bye!

[09:30] FF: Bye! !t was n!ce talkn!g to you you seem cool.

-- fatalisticFortune [FF] ceased pestering affableBarista [AB] at 21:31 --

-- fatalisticFortune [FF] changed their mood to OFFLINE --