May

All I need is a doctor and a detective.

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Taylor: i wanna see the receipts!!!

Kim: 

[rihsusvevo]

Taylor :

Kim : 

[thehijabstylist]

I knew she had a degree but didn’t know she was the most educated First Lady.

[highkey-melanin]

this needs to be on everyone’s dash…

[alltoozelle]

Michelle was actually Baracks political advisor that’s how they met, I personally believe she should’ve been president herself

[whiskey-and-c41]

Michelle Obama 2020

[dismalchant]

[taylulz]

[lucidnee]

Selena is a reminder that sometimes SOMETIMES your friend drama is YOUR FRIENDS DRAMA you send a text message later and say “you ight? You deserve that dragging but you good though??”

[fake]

when you hear your friend say they got dirt on somebody

[kaijuno]

Today I learned how to hack unmonitored CCTV cameras. I’m currently watching a dog run around in a backyard in Berlin.

[kaijuno]

update: i found a barn cam that has a horsie in it and i’m in poland AND i have audio output so i can talk to the horsie

[kaijuno]

update: THERE’S TWO HORSIES AND ONE OF THEM IS A BABY

[kaijuno]

do u see the horsies 

[kaijuno]

I’VE FOUND BUNNIES

[kaijuno]

okay okay now i’ve found dogs

[cockyhorror]

This is the most innocent hack ever

[excima]

ijws that Kim k is still ugly and horrible seeing y'all make post abt liking her shows y'all pretend to stop liking these racist ass celebs tbh 📝

[silentreadinghour]

doctor: i’m sorry to tell you but your condition is chronic

me: you sellin chronic? 👀

doctor: please sir, you are really sick

me: haha thanks dude

[blackgirlsvevo]

me: *sees a cute girl with some sub par guy* free her

[larry-gergich]

Um, I’m not a prostitute. Not even if the guy is hot in a mean-dad way.

[humanobastardo]

[fruitcrocs-deactivated20240702]

fuck this ain’t even my language but im still picking up what it’s putting down and u know what ? relatable

[lolshtus]

#Wakeup, And, Get, Ready

[zhinico]

the future is now

[processintegrated]

[turnipfritters]

nintendo sees y’all thirsting after all the professors and they made every church into a gym to try and trick y’all into getting right with the lord

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

i’m watching Bee Movie for the first time

i’m 1 minute and 30 seconds in

a’ight so this main character is supposed to be a male bee but he uses a pencil sharpener to sharpen his stinger but male bees don’t have stingers?

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

he got a mom and dad but the queen supposed to be the only one procreating so what is the truth?

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

a'ight so this a whole society of bees that feel obligated to walk and drive instead of fly

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

he just became disillusioned with the capitalist system it’s bout to be some shit

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

you’d figure this movie would have more woman characters considering as how female bees are the ones who do all the work but ok

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

i know too much about bees to watch this movie

[lavenderthistle]