bro for real you gotta be making some of this shit up
hit me with some of that sleepman
List of wizard names
Today's Document
RMH
Keni

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
NASA
Sade Olutola

#extradirty

izzy's playlists!
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Peter Solarz
styofa doing anything
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Cosimo Galluzzi

if i look back, i am lost

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@afindid
bro for real you gotta be making some of this shit up
hit me with some of that sleepman
List of wizard names
*at a bakery*
Cleric: Ooh can I have a cheese roll please!
Warlock: I thought you were vegan though?
Cleric: Yeah, I am. Why?
Warlock: Ummm eeeer… Cheese isn’t vegan.
Cleric: Yeah it is.
Warlock: Where do you think cheese comes from?
Cleric: The ground! I’ve seen them growing before! They’re those yellow vegetables!
Bard: *to warlock* Don’t say it.
Warlock: That’s a potato.
Cleric: Oh shit.
Artificer: We can’t put someone in the bag of holding, there’s no air. They’ll suffocate.
Warlock: What if we cast water breathing on them, then give them a helmet full of water?
Artificer: ...
Artificer: Huh
Define “Lawful Evil”:
So listen. I’ve had this song stuck in my head for two days now because of this tweet. Look what they have done.
Context: A one-person campaign. (wasn’t originally, but everyone except me and the DM dropped out, so…)
Me (a dwarven wizard with a pet owl) was trying to escape a haunted house.
Me: Can I just go through the door?
DM: Sure.
Me: (forgets to check for traps)
DM: A swinging axe appears out of nowhere and cuts off your left leg.
Me: Uh oh.
DM: You are now bleeding out.
Me: I staunch the bloodflow!
DM: With what?
Me: With… My owl…?
DM: You staunch the bloodflow. with your owl. You know what, what the hell. Go for it.
*Rolls a 19*
DM: Fine. You have successfully stopped the bloodflow, but your owl is now stained blood-red.
Me: Nice.
DM: there’s another axe.
Me: Shit.
"I rolled a nat 1 in my search for rats"
"You don't see any rats. You're not even sure what a rat looks like"
“Snake necromancy isn’t exactly your area of exp—” “Snecromancy.”
[The party encounters a large pile of assorted bones]
The paladin: I cast Detect Skeletons. With my eyes.
[Beat]
The paladin: There's skeletons over there.
The Programmers’ Credo
The 90s were a weird time. RedHat Linux had the option to install os using the "redneck" language.
Gunner: That’s a solid 40 damage.
DM: The ship starts bleeding.
DM: she’s on her last legs
Monk: How many legs does she have
Tavern owner: And what will You have to drink?
Player: HIGH ELVES DRINK WHITE CLAW
Rogue: “Wait a minute, how do we chain up a T-Posing character?”
Ranger: “Oh that’s easy, you crucify him.”
““I AM CONTRACTUALLY BOUND TO MURDER YOU” is a hell of a battlecry”
—
Goblin: my name is NORS!
Half-orc barbarian: Nors?
Nors: with a silent ‘Q’
Half-orc barbarian: ... where’s the ‘Q’?
Nzorzqzzz: you’d be surprised.