faetistic @aflutteringlaney-blog - Tumblr Blog

I’ve really debated writing a note but I didn’t last time and I don’t feel the need to this time. I think writing one would just make me more upset.

I called/texted/messaged all my loved ones and told them how much I love them so I think I’m ready. All that’s left to do is not throw up.

#2nd times the charm

I’m done cutting. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would. I’m trying to clean up but there’s so much blood. It keeps dripping onto the carpet which I’ll have to clean… ugh.

There are 83 on my left leg.

There are 95 on my right leg.

Hmm, maybe I’m not done cutting. I want them both to be 100.

Edit: 200 cuts.

Time to pack my bags and then it’ll be time for the main event.

#2nd times the charm

My next task for the night is to cut myself as many times as possible until my thighs are completely covered or I get dizzy.

#2nd times the charm

60 minutes

#2nd times the charm

openthedooritschip

me: but how am i supposed to recognize depressive episodes

me: [avoids social contact with anyone for like 2 days, lies awake in bed for 12 hours and then a bathtub for 5, listening to podcasts and not thinking about anything]

me: if only there were obvious signs

Olanzapine is commonly prescribed to patients with schizophrenia. One retrospective study demonstrates the efficacy of physostigmine in reversing mental status changes induced by olanzapine. We report two patients with delirium due to confirmed olanzapine overdose treated with physostigmine. One patient's mental status transiently returned to normal. The other patient completely recovered.

A 25-year-old man ingested 300 mg of olanzapine. On presentation, he was agitated, delirious, tachycardic, had dry skin and mucous membranes, and dilated pupils (6 mm) minimally reactive to light. Physostigmine, 0.5 mg, was given intravenously (IV) without effect. Additional physostigmine doses of 1.5 mg IV administered 5 minutes later and then 1 mg IV resulted in the patient having a clear sensorium and normal mentation. The patient's mental status continued to remain normal for the duration of his hospital stay. Olanzapine was identified in the urine by high performance liquid chromatography.

A 20-year-old female ingested 600 mg of olanzapine. On presentation, she was tachycardic, obtunded, and minimally responsive to painful stimuli, with decreased bowel sounds, dry skin and dry mucous membranes. Physostigmine, 2 mg, was given IV. Shortly thereafter she regained full consciousness and began speaking coherently. She remained in this condition for approximately 30 minutes, and then became obtunded. Her serum olanzapine concentration was 1230 ng/mL. No further doses of physostigmine were administered. On day 3 of admission her mental status returned to normal.

We report two cases of olanzapine-induced mental status changes treated with physostigmine. The utility of physostigmine as a safe or necessary antidote in the setting of olanzapine overdose remains to be determined.

#2nd times the charm

a little over 2 hours left and i feel like i don’t have enough time... i still have so much to do and i’m getting tired now

#2nd times the charm

There's like 4 hours left and it's getting harder to stay calm. But I still have a lot of work to do. Organizing and cleaning. I'm still not done the laundry.

#2nd times the charm

I talked to my grandma on the phone for a few minutes. I asked her how she was doing, how she was enjoying her vacation, and when she was coming home. Then I said goodbye/goodnight, said I loved her and I'd see her soon, and hung up.

Then I called my mom and she was asleep so I left a voicemail where I said I'd try calling her back tomorrow when she wasn't sleeping. But she heard her ringtone and woke up and called me back. I talked to her for 30 seconds and told her I loved her and I was excited to bake my cake with her tomorrow. Then I told her goodnight/goodbye and said I loved her again before I hung up.

#2nd times the charm

I'm cleaning the house top to bottom. I started with my room. I'm doing laundry too.

#2nd times the charm