you'd be lucky to be a footnote in my story

and one day you won't even be that.

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

Happy Pride Month! A collection of my personal favourite queer themed books. I promise I tried to be diverse in genre but it’s pretty clear I have favourites 🌈. Watch this space for a deeper look into queer literature and insights into representation in modern fiction

Drop any recs in the comments, I’m always looking for good queer books 🌈👇 -🍉 #bookstagram #books #pride #queer #queerfiction #lgbt #lgbtbooks #pride2020🏳️‍🌈 #booksofinstagram #pride2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CBbdvpQpCF4/?igshid=od6ppgl7mcap

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

Check out the the bookstagram for queer content this pride month☝️

[quotemadness]

You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.

C. JoyBell C. (via quotemadness)

[afootnoteinmystory]

Please don't ever become a stranger who's laugh I could recognise anywhere

Taylor Swift, New Year’s Day

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

People talk about coming out as though it’s this big one-time event. But really, most people have to come out over and over to basically every new person they meet. I’m only eighteen and it already exhausts me.

Nina LaCour, Everything Leads To You (via the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship)

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

The things that I wish for are rarely within my control.

Nina LaCour, Everything Leads To You (via the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship)

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

It’s simple: she makes the uncertainty worth it.

Nina LaCour, Everything Leads To You (via the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship)

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

“There’s still this thing that happens after you break up with someone, It barely takes any time to work. All you have to do is continue with your life, and then when you find yourself in a room with her again it’s as if you’re a different person. Maybe your posture is a little more confident. Maybe your laughter is louder. You’re wearing perfume she’s never smelled before and you have a new way of pinning your hair. You don’t even have to say anything because your presence alone is enough to say Look at who I am without you.”

-Nina LaCour, Everything Leads To You

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

Maybe the world isn’t necessarily over for me… it’s possible that someday I will hear a Patsy Cline song and the heartbreak will barely register. It will be some distant, buried feeling. I won’t remember how much it once hurt.

Nina LaCour, Everything Leads To You (via the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship)

[the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship]

It was a choice between dinner and flowers and I chose flowers because it was a dark time in my life and my room was hideous and my heart was broken and I needed something beautiful.

Nina LaCour, Everything Leads To You (via the-gazebo-we-called-pirate-ship)

[destroymylife]

[quotemadness]

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

C.S. Lewis (via quotemadness)

[afootnoteinmystory]

Stream of consciousness 05/03/20

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do right now. I don’t know what it all means. If me still caring for her makes me a doormat and I that need to move on and have some more self-respect.

Because what is it exactly that I see in her? I’m just a hopeless romantic for someone who couldn’t care less about me. And I don’t even know why. Why can’t I get over her like a normal person? God knows I want to. I really, really want to. I just want to put my energy somewhere it’s appreciated but why is that so hard.

Because we accept the love we think we deserve.

But if I cant even convince myself that I deserve someone who cares about me then how will anyone ever have it in them to do it.

And I’m so scared of her only coming back to me now because she’s bored. Or because it’s some kind of game to her. Because I’m so used to her not caring while I fall hard. And I don’t want to fall anymore.  I want to slowly drift with someone. Maybe we’ll rise and Alan Watts was wrong all along.

Or maybe I’ll keep searching for pieces of her in every person that’s to come. And maybe that’ll be my hamartia. And maybe I’ll just have to live with the weight of never being satisfied knowing I wasn’t good enough for the person I wanted the most.

And maybe that’ll be the thing that breaks me one day.

[afootnoteinmystory]

i don’t want to be sad forever

[afootnoteinmystory]

i just feel like i’m not getting out of it what i used to. it used to feel more two-way than it does right now. but she’s stressed alright.

[especially]

[afootnoteinmystory]

i look at her and all i think is how i got so damn lucky.

[afootnoteinmystory]

she doesn’t have to make the first move all the time. she doesn’t have to show affection for me ot show affection back. i always forget that she can’t read my mind. but i also feel she doesn’t care as much as she used to, and i’m not an expert in this field so i don’t even know if it’s supposed to be that way.