thexanderzone:
Sitting there, next to him as the imaginary battle waged in the sky, his mind thought back to the morning he’d woken up to find Xiang just gone. They usually at least left something obviously out of place, or maybe even a ‘be back later’ note if they were feeling generous, but it became clear by the end of the day, the other man wasn’t coming back. For someone who lived his life leaning over the edge of a cliff, daring the wind to send him flying, that night? He sat down for the first time in his memory. It was like the rough edges were an open wound, and now, just in front of him him, they were sewn together again.
Sure, he could call the rest of the crew, do something daring, but his heart didn’t feel in it at first. As the days stretched into weeks, then to months, it became exceedingly clear to Xander that his heart wasn’t in it because it had left in Xiang’s hands. There was only so much he could do to combat the listlessness that had started to set in shortly after, and it made him angry. Angry at Xiang for leaving, angry at himself for being the cause, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to catch that version of him that had seemed so much better with the other man there.
“Fuck Ted. Besides, only part worth watching’s the finale,” he said with a smirk. Life is rushing back into his veins, the thrill of the hunt, the chase, had sustained him for a while as he knew the outcome would be finding him again, starting that battle and reinvigorating the very grass they sat on, the air they breathed. It was easy, now, with him there, to let that anger melt away, because loathe though he had been to admit it for so long…he needed him. It was a little frustrating, to need someone after all this time being on his own, avoiding deep connections…but the puzzle pieces of their souls fit together like they were made to be one, and he couldn’t deny that.
It’s interesting how small he seems now, knees to his chest, curled up in a ball. Like he’s not a powerhouse, a lethal, terrifying person in his own right, one that could frighten death away with just the right look. Xander wondered what he’d been doing this whole time, Xiang, where he’d been. That was a question for a different time, though. Now was not the time for a lot of words. It was enough to just be with him again, to watch the explosions and feel the pull of the danger again. The anger was replaced by hunger, and the only thing stopping him from jumping Xiang right now was public decency laws. For all the shit he’d pulled, he wasn’t going to prison for fucking in public.
He shook his head, “You left. Figured it was a good reason,” a shrug, “let you have your time.” Til I couldn’t take it anymore, he doesn’t say. He notices just how worn down, how nearly broken the man’s voice sounds, and it’s a monumental effort not to come up to him right there and wrap himself around him, hold him close and hope that that contact would heal the cracked parts of his exterior.
Then Xiang speaks and it hits him, those three words. Three different words, but the relief comes rushing back to him. There’d been a sneaking suspicion. What if he’d left because he didn’t want to be there anymore, with him? He thought it was bullshit, but there was always that shred of doubt. Those words erase them and he can breathe now, too. When the space is made, Xander scoots up, and their biceps are nearly touching, but though the air is electrified, he does not move, to touch him, not just yet.
Their eyes meet, a question posed, and Xander smiles, warm. It’s a loaded question, one he struggles to find an answer for. How could he respond that wouldn’t end in a fight and another separation? Everything clicks into place and he feels himself moving in front of Xiang, pushing him down on the grass, holding him there as he straddled him.
Lips touch lips and he is electrified, he doesn’t care about the cacophony going on above their heads, about the people that can see them if they choose to look, he kisses him and unloads the months of longing he’d been holding onto, and as the last of the explosions die down, he pulls away, looking deep into those obsidian eyes.
“I love you.”
Only Xander. How desperately he wants to laugh, to shake his head and leave, but he’s tired. Running alone with no thrill, no hunt, nothing to distract him save for the need to escape -- it means long nights perched high on rooftops chasing away sleep with the threat of death. Just to feel alive, to feel something, as he sorted his thoughts meticulously. All it takes is a few words from Xander and that drumming ache, the hole he’d been trying to fill in his chest, it eases slowly. They talk, simple words, simple movement, but he feels winded like he’s been caught after a long run. The wound is no longer bleeding and he smiles, laughing under his breath.
They sit shoulder to shoulder and Xiang feels calm after months of chaos.
What an asshole, he muses, feeling how Xander holds himself apart from him as if tentative in touching him. It doesn’t pass his mind that his presence may be thought as fleeting. Maybe Xander is concerned this is some dream and he some revenant come to haunt him. The thought is amusing, it makes him settle into the easy rhythm of the words that he doesn’t realize they’ve stopped until Xander is coaxing him onto his back.
Run.
Old instincts scream, whimpering as calloused hands move along his chest, urging him to lay back on the grass.
Xiang swallows hard, brows knitting together as a question rises up on his tongue only to die when Xander’s thighs frame his hips. Until now, it’d been a fight to claim dominance, a struggle. It’s odd seeing Xander offer up something vulnerable and soft that could be so easily hurt. So odd in fact, for a moment Xiang has no idea what to do but look at him, wondering not for the first time what was on the other man’s mind.
Lips press against his own and any fight that remained slowly bleeds out with an uneven sigh lost in the heat of Xander’s mouth. He’s no idea how starved for touch, for something as simple as kissing, until he has it once more slow and steady. Reluctant fingers set to work, running along Xander’s clothed spine, twisting into fabric to drag him closer. The kiss is warm, hungry, and coaxes him awake after feeling asleep for so long.
Brows knit together, that old pain arising once more and he wants nothing more than to chase Xander’s mouth with his own when he draws back. Instead Xiang lays there, looking up at a man wreathed in dying cascades of light, the embers floating lazy and slow in the air.
I love you, Xander says.
Maybe this was that moment, the finale they’d talked about not being worth missing. The one where two months pass and nothing has changed beyond the hunger intensifying. Is it anger welling up? Shock? Something else entirely? Xiang is moving before he realizes, breathing out words in his native tongue before he can stop.
Oh he swears at him, cursing him, calling him a moron, all while pushing and shoving until he has Xander on the grass underneath him with those thighs framing his body. Whatever it is he’s feeling, there is no name for it, none he has a word for, but he does grab Xander by the front of his shirt. The world is a perverse mix of redneck and suburbia hell around them but Xiang is busy kissing Xander the way he fights -- hard, ruthless, hungry.
Stopping means catching his breath, leaning forehead to forehead and gripping Xander’s shirt so tightly his knuckles are white.
“....you fucking idiot, what took you so long?”











