a poet by dreams

in honor of the little girl who thought she could change the world with her wonderful woeful words. -a.k.n. please don’t steal my work, and tag me when you use it! Poetry Guide

[aforgottenpoet]

A bouquet is a beautiful gift, It’s a bundle of hidden agendas and emotions masked with flowers. It can be the promise of something beautiful, a relationship just starting out. A way to say “I love you” before you’re truly ready to utter those words. But this collection of assorted flora can break hearts as you watch someone receive it, while wishing that someone were you.

a.k.n. “K files: buy me a bouquet” (2/15/20)

[aforgottenpoet]

You were everything. Sun-kissed cheeks, and a radiant smile. It’s no wonder I fell for you, but maybe you could’ve warned me. Two years my senior, you had to know. I was a naive sophomore, why didn’t you say something? Why did you play with me for as long as you did? And how could you throw me away so easily? You were older, wiser, you should’ve known better. Now I do. Never again, will I put my efforts into someone who never really wanted them to begin with.

a.k.n. “J files: now i know” (4/2/2020)

[aforgottenpoet]

I wonder if you’ve been living in my subconscious all along. If my attempts to meet new people was really an attempt to bury the thoughts of you. But here I am, years later, still stuck on you.

a.k.n. “C files: everpresent” (3/1/20)

[aforgottenpoet]

the C files

the muse:

This is a collection of poetry about one person, his name was Cormac.

Dear Cormac, 

While you will always be my friend, there was once a time where I dreamed of more and where your obliviousness crushed a little piece of me. I wonder sometimes if you ever knew, but then we talk and I realize you couldn’t have. You were too sweet, and too kind to purposefully hurt me. Thank you for your years of friendship, of trust, and of memories I will cherish forever.

- a.k.n.

[aforgottenpoet]

sometimes I think of you I think about what it would be like to hold your hand even though I know it’ll be clammy I think about that conversation we had in august when you told me you’d like to go but could never do that not to your brother. your sister. your mother. there’s a lot to be said about how a son treats his mother and when I look at you I see how you treat yours. you treat her like she put each and every star in the sky by hand. because you look at her and recognize her for everything she’s done for you and that is a truly beautiful thing. sometimes I wonder if you’d be able to recognize yourself in these words. if you remember the moments we shared with the details that I do. I wonder if you think the same of me, or if you remember all the conversations we've had. if you wonder how I am when the smile has disappeared. you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m liking you more and more or if its this concept that I’ve gotten old enough to understand. this concept of having a person, a person who thinks about you. who wants to make sure you're okay and puts a smile on your face I know you make me laugh when we talk. and that we share similar interests and yet are different enough to educate the other. Where I fall short you pick up the slack, and that's why we work. as friends. a mutual acquaintance of ours said i should “shoot my shot”. I'm not bold enough for that. and so i wrote this. I wrote this as a way to tell you but not to tell you because who knows if you’ll ever hear this and even then, who knows if you’ll even recognize yourself in these lines. but I still think about you I still think about holding your hand I still think about the 11 pm conversations we’ve had the inside jokes the laughs I think about our friendship and how it’s developed and I think about the things we could become if only I were bold enough. and maybe if only you saw me that way as well.

a.k.n. “K files: Sometimes I think about you” (1/14/20)

[aforgottenpoet]

the K files

the muse:

This is a collection of poetry about one person, his name was Kyle. 

Dear Kyle, 

You were that last moment of childhood emotion. A fleeting crush that consumed me throughout our senior year of high school together. You were my friend and maybe I read too far into it, watching as all my friends paired off with someone else. It hurt, more than I admitted to all the people who knew, but it was never your fault. Considering everything else that happened that year, I think we came out of it all pretty okay. And unlike the couple of crushes I had during my formative years, I don’t regret this one. No, it was different, exhilarating, and exactly what I needed to experience before being let loose on the rest of the world.

- a.k.n.

[aforgottenpoet]

I wonder if you were ever aware of what you were doing. Did your hidden jabs and snide comments register in that brilliant brain you were so proud of? Or did you simply not care? Was being your closest confidant supposed to come with a warning and I simply lost it? Was my five-year-old hyperactive mind too blinded by the concept of a real friend to read the fine print? You were supposed to be my support system just as I was yours. You were supposed to build me back when I fell apart. But you choose to belittle my choices and now I’m falling into an abyss alone because my safety net blew away, lost in the wind.

a.k.n. “L files: Once” (2/15/20)

[aforgottenpoet]

the L files

the muse:

This is a collection of poetry about one person, her name was Alexa. 

Dear Lex, 

You were my childhood best friend, who I thought would carry the title forever. A young girl’s dream, I realized too late. No one is meant to be there forever, they come and go at different parts of our lives and they leave us stronger than we were before. I am better for the person you helped me become, and you will always have a special place in my heart, even if you aren’t the first person I call anymore.

sincerely,

- a.k.n.

[aforgottenpoet]

You were once my favorite color, vibrant and joyful and the only one I wanted to wear. but as time went on your hue became faded and muted until you were no longer appealing I wonder what happened to those color-filled moments we had.

a.k.n. “J files: Muted” (3/15/20)

[aforgottenpoet]

The memories of us lay tucked away just like the forgotten dry and long-dead wreath of baby’s breath that hangs in my room. An object from once upon a time that will never come back to life. I considered setting it ablaze one night. I imagined the possible freedom that would come with seeing the orange flames eat at the once white buds. But that’s all I did. Imagine. You were a once upon a time dream of mine, and now you’re gone. Hidden in the world- away from me- and it’s better this way. I can keep the memories that made me smile and blush tucked away and the dead and dry flowers can hang until it won’t.

a.k.n. “J files: Once Upon A Time″ (3/28/20) 

[aforgottenpoet]

the J files

the muse:

This is a collection of poetry about one person, his name was Jay. 

Dear Jay, 

As bad as it sounds, I regret you. I regret spending five months going back and forth with you just to be thrown away. I regret letting you back into my life the way I did, and I wish I made a better choice when that time came. You were fun, and there was a point where you were all I wanted. I was young, dumb, and wrong. You were not the fit for me, and I don’t think we will ever meet again. But thank you, because if it wasn’t for you, I never would have realized how much more I’m worth. How I deserve to be someone’s first and only choice. 

sincerely, 

- a.k.n.

[aforgottenpoet]

Poetry Guide

here’s a direct link to help you find my poetry. 

Letter Files

J files

L files

K files

C files

these are the parts of an always in the works collection about the people in my past and present, all to help me prepare for the future.