random rants @agapi-kalyptei - Tumblr Blog

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List of hobbies in case you want to connect:

#seriously i love teaching things #anyone hit me up and I'll teach you what I know #which is not a lot admittedly #i cherish all the RL friends I've met through tumblr

I'm told by Andrew Hussie that only crazy people write manifestos so here's a few, uh, self-help tips and goals for myself relevant to summer 2026:

when the weather gets hot, bring out the stupid portable AC

before that, start dipping your feet in cold water, you got that washing up bowl for this exact reason

watch videos with intent

even if your lifestyle and brain space doesn't really allow for just napping or daytime sleeping, if you feel the need to lay down, try to just like. not do anything for 10 minutes. If you feel the need to suppress anxieties / occupy your mind, you do have about 20 unheard audiobooks. Maybe there's some podcast about procedural generation or game design to listen to. No video, no scrolling, no chatting, no multitasking.

if you're already watching videos, make notes

it's fine to pause and think about things. encouraged, even

the usual barrage of litmus test and similar questions: "am i enjoying myself" "is this fun? urgent? important? necessary?" "is this what I want to be doing today, now, at this hour" "can I batch this task with other similar things" (eg one pomodoro of answering emails and messages) "where's my to-do list" "did I check my calendar recently" "do I move / almost-exercise according to my current energy levels" "did I take meds / vitamins" "did I drink enough water / am I secretly hungry" "is it time to start or stop consuming caffeine according to mr. clock" "maybe you've had enough sugar for today already" "have I read something recently" "have I closed tabs recently" "is there something recently expired I could/should eat"

finish at least one painting thing and hang it on the balcony door

diagnoses are starting points, not end points

also have you done pomodoros today? do you have something that gives your day a rhythm or is it all just one large sticky booger that goes from hour to hour and suddenly it's 10pm? (not relevant for days when you're e.g. outside with friends or otherwise in a flow state, but do keep breaks and stretch and drink water)

#there's more but whatever will save it for later

I need to remember to use the phrase "gender reaffirming purchases" every time I see like a bottle of Arctic Ball Freeze Menthol Shower Gel or a pink iPad

teach man how to fish, he'll keep making minigames about it forever, but give man a shrimp and he'll make it cook fried rice for him.

Solo gamedev week 43 retrospective

(25th-31st May 2026)

Well. That was a difficult week, not going to repeat why. Once in a lifetime situation etc etc.

Anyway I finally added some silly Tracery to my project, e.g.

and after replacing the berry name and the count, this will generate sentences like "Picking 3 strawberries" or "Foraging a few strawberries" or "Gathering like 3 super juicy strawberries". Does this change the game? No, but I want to add a lot of variations to phrases repeated often in the game so it doesn't sound so robotic, so this is right at the core of my ethos/aesthetic.

I also added auto-leveling up of the main stats (Strength Perception Endurance Charisma Intelligence Agility Luck Kindness, shortened to SPECIALK) and made the stats affect at least a few things, so it's slowly starting to feel like a game.

Then I started planning exploration and other activities in the game and started planning out a world map.

As for the "retro" part... I mean how does one even analyze a week like that. I survived, that's already an achievement.

So while it's too early to celebrate and it hasn't been even 24h since I took my first statin pill, at least I'm not particularly devastated by it.

What I _am_ particularly devastated is that after getting a haircut yesterday, I discovered a 5cm hair growing from the helix on my right ear upwards. Like an antenna. Genuinely you guys, I'm so ready to receive the signal. ET go home.

#genuinely i'm such a mutant

TIL: Google Maps added a bunch of celestial bodies

#looking for an open source Rust based replacement for Earth #it does not exist #pity Earth is like the last good google product #I still don't trust it enough to not mine my data

Hey if Metaverse and LLMs don't pan out, maybe big tech will go back to its roots and just start selling drugs. "We tried to make virtual reality but it turns out that getting zonked out of your gourd is still cooler. get your ZuckLSD subscription today"

#just kidding the next step is slavery

"Sure, your body is a temple, but to what god if not yourself? And if you choose to be a cruel and vengeful god, [...]"

#the poopie show #I'm mildly obsessed with this youtuber #great animation #great voice acting #terrifying voice

#TIL #the poopie show #1833 factory act

goodbye 14 months of hair

agapi-kalyptei

It's been a weird month for me, but genuinely I want to shoutout all my friends for being there, listening, offering support and practical help, and their company or DMs or memes. There's a lot to complain about, but there's a lot to be grateful for.

agapi-kalyptei

also like. this is obvious but for the people I didn't reply to / didn't stay in touch / fell out of contact one way or another. like, if we last interacted on good terms, I'm happy you exist, and this isn't in any way me soliciting attention. we'll catch up some day

#and also if we're not mutuals because I never followed you or because I unfollowed you at some point #it's like 99.98% chance that I was just limiting the amount of posts on my dashboard #and says nothing about you as a person

what my brother said on the phone call

Apparently the reason why my mom deteriorated so quickly was "multiple organ failure" which. Yk. I can't/don't want to imagine what that felt like, but at least it didn't last long. Both stage 4 cancer and chemo and radiation take toll on the body. I'm glad she gave it a shot and lasted that long, it's been what, 8-9 months since her diagnosis?

I'm sorry I left him to deal with everything, but he understands I won't be there for the funeral. It's cold but: my mom doesn't care anymore, and the rest of the family can get ░░░░ed. Most of them are the kind of people to kick you when you're down, or at least to say something self-righteous and then remind you for 70 years that you were wrong and fell once.

Or maybe not and they changed and they're better and I just haven't seen them for 10+ years. Either way not dealing with it.

So the practical things: my brother wants to keep the house. Which is somewhat good. The bad part is that he's hoping to turn it into some residential units and rent them out. Uhhhh. I really don't want to show you because the current state is that it looks like something out of a TLC show about poverty. It's like if a low class trailer park was a house.

Also he said that the parking space, i.e. the lawn in front of the house can fit six camper vans???? First of all, it will barely fit three. Second. Where did he get the idea that up to six people will want to rent out his space in front of a falling-apart house built in 1896? Which, let's go back to that - the house needs like 20-40 grand of renovations. Like conceptually I get his idea of finding someone who is good at construction and doesn't have a job and would just renovate it in exchange for rent or something. But genuinely the logistics of it are so off that I'm afraid he'll get burned and lose whatever goodwill in his circle of friends.

Like sure the town is gentrified and rent is becoming more expensive but. I don't know.

Later he emailed me that I should start investing? Like did he just realize, in his late 40s, that investing is a good way to make money? Just because nVidia stock "went up 500x since he wanted to invest in it"? I'm sorry but I don't do gambling, and also the time to do it would have been 3+ years ago, and not at the start of a global crisis.

Anyway /rant

It's been a few weird weeks and it's gonna be a few more weird weeks, followed by a few bad years.

#griefposting #cancer

Things I wanted to ask my mom before she died

Did your bio father have other diagnoses besides alcoholism?

What other mental illnesses do we have in the family? Just a lot of narcissism and ADHD and a handful of pedophiles?

Did you even realize that your husband was a pedophile? (No I have not been molested.)

Did anyone in the family do sex work or did my dad just convince you to go to some swingers party or wife swap when I was about 4?

What diagnosis did my brother receive when he was about 15, was it autism or early schizophrenia? Why did nobody ever talk about it in the 3 decades since?

Do you have a recipe book I could use? I know you used to collect them for a while. I really need to make what we used to call "swedish cake" some day.

Did you already throw them out, or are we going to accidentally find your photos from when you and dad had a lot of sex when you got married, i.e. late 1970s.

Sorry neither of us had kids! This is only a rhetorical question but seriously what were you thinking, you know we're barely capable of keeping ourselves alive, why would we want to bring kids into the mix.

Thanks for trying to limit my screen time when I was a kid. It didn't quite work out, but the lesson was still valuable.

#griefposting

It's been a weird month for me, but genuinely I want to shoutout all my friends for being there, listening, offering support and practical help, and their company or DMs or memes. There's a lot to complain about, but there's a lot to be grateful for.

well... (chuckles) I'm not driving

(throws in another stock cube)

#soup

The sexiest dream I had in the past 6 months was that Portishead announced a new album

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