Chapters 1-3 of Paradise Circus are out now on AO3! | Word Count: 28,817
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
DISCLAIMER: This Fanfiction is intended for an Adult Audience and involves topics that may be triggering to certain readers such as:
-Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation
-Graphic Descriptions of Violence
-Deteriorating Mental Health
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"How do you do it?” Red laughed out bitterly. He ran his hands over his thighs nervously as he tried his best to calm down.
Duck stared at him. “Do what?”
“Act like all of this is okay- that none of it bothers you?” Red continued.
The bird wanted to throttle him right about now. He didn’t want to think about any of it, especially not what Red had just dragged them into.
“I know it does….” The taller man mumbled.
Duck let out an exasperated sigh. “So what if it does? There’s nothing we can do about it."
A look of despair crossed Red’s face. “I just mean, don't you want something more out of life?"
Duck furrowed his eyebrows. “I was happy where I was.”
“Of course I was!” Duck sounded genuinely hurt. “How dare you imply otherwise?!”
Red looked down. "Is that why you slashed my tires?"
The bird opened his beak to respond before promptly closing it. He sighed, sitting down on the tire next to him. "How did you know?"
"I watched you do it through my window." Red side-eyed him.
Duck felt like an idiot. "Are you mad?"
Red narrowed his eyes. "No.” He was clearly lying. "I guess in a way this is on both of us." He chuckled out. His voice broke a bit as he did his best to cover it up with a cough.
No, it's on you. Duck thought to himself. He did his best to ignore the the sharp sound that had just come out of Red’s throat. “Well, this is what you wanted right?” He gestured to the rubble around them. “A change of scenery.”
“I just wanted to go for a drive-“ Red stuttered out as he nervously fiddled with the skin on his leg.
Duck looked him up and down. “Is that really all you wanted?”
“I don’t know what I wanted.” Red’s hands twitched as he placed them at his side.
After a bit of silence, Red turned to stare at him. The string in front of his mouth blew forward as he spoke. “Can you uh- comb my hair?”
Defeated, the bird nodded. He patted his lap, urging Red to place his head there. The taller man listened, making a little noise as he laid down on his side. It couldn’t have been very comfortable, but that was the price he had to pay after all. After a moment Duck felt Red's shoulder's shake as if he were crying.
Duck pulled back and cradled his head. “Hey….”
“Don’t look at me.” Red breathed out.
Duck felt like his body was on fire. He wasn’t used to dealing with emotions, especially not ones like these. He was sure Red felt the same way.
“Just keep holding me…. please.” Red muttered. “Don’t let go.”
Duck adhered to his request.
“Can you kiss me?” Red sat up after a moment.
He was truly off his rocker.
Red thought about it for a moment. “With your beak?" He reached a mitten up to his mouth as if he were about to pull his string aside. “I don't think we've ever done that. It might feel real-” Red turned his head. “-More than the stuff we usually do.”
“Not right now.” Duck murmured. He was still mad at him.
Red nodded, taking the hint.
He was awfully talkative, probably because his nerves were off the fritz. Duck knew firsthand how he got when his mind was derailing like this. It’s why they were in this predicament to begin with. “Was it something I did?” Duck asked after a moment.
“No, no it’s just that- it was more of an urge really-” Red's eyes saddened. “An uncontrollable one.”
Silence fell over the two again.
“Forget I said anything.” Red murmured.
Duck sighed. That's exactly what he planned on doing.
