:(

a bunch of poetic 'when you's and relatable posts

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lmaooo complete joke kys or ill do it for u

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everyone needs to leave me tf alone for the rest of the month u know what here’s the shit i keep realizing nobody gives a SHIT about you until there’s fun and games or if they need something like if i could die tmrw and it’ll be OK nobody’s gonna notice that i’m dead bc nobody gives a SHIT there’s no difference in dying sooner or later bc we all end up there anyways six feet under and ROTTING and nobody GIVES A SHIT nobody cares nobody cares nobody CARES it could be all over so soon and u know what NOBODY CARES nobody gives a SHIT about anyone when ppl die only bc the dead stop providing them with whatever they were giving and they stop giving a shit after about 5 days what’s the point we all end up dead anyways ppl ask u why u upset and u know what THEY DONT CARE they ask u as an accusation , for their curiousity, and for literally ANYTHING eXCEPT for actually caring about u and u know what it’s fine life doesn’t mean anything anyways we were born to die and u know what ppl say u live to find ur own happiness lmaoo so what if u cant find it what if u find it in death god there’s no point

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just so done ughhhhhhh. feels like i'm never enough. not for academics, not for sports, not for friends. and i thought my best would be academics. but turns out i'm not LMAO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I don’t think that there is ever a black and white. There are always grey areas. Heaven may be white, and Hell may be black, but Earth will always grey, the in between. But even then, Lucifer was an angel and he was God’s favourite. 

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MF MAN AINT REPLY FOR ABOUT 10 DAYS UMMMMMMMMMMM WYD WYD WYD WYD WYD IM BOUTA 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 UMMMMMMMMMM HOW U SO BUSY THAT U CANT REPLY A MSG IN 10 DAYS??????????????????

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nothing was ever supposed to come out of us. I never expected anything. I never expected us to be friends when I wished you a safe flight. but we've started and I can't help but desire to stay friends and to have more

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I miss him oh my god I miss him I know he's busy and I know that he doesn't really check his phone when he's busy but my god I miss him and I miss talking to him and that's saying a lot because I never miss people but God, why aren't you replying me? are you that busy that you can't even spare a second to reply me? he's been replying later and later and he hasn't replied me in about 33 hours but has read my snapchat so why won't you reply? oh my god I'm so sad and I'm kinda pissed and god why do you do this to me? why won't you reply? did I really scare you off, or am I not enough for you anymore? why don't you tell me? why do you leave me hanging like this? if it was anyone else, I would've stopped talking to them a long time ago, and I really should be doing the same for you but god, you're different. what ever happened to our late night talks? the hours that you have kept me up, and the non-filtered stuff that we say to each other? the stuff that I never told others or things that I will never say to others? what ever happened to that? why don't you miss me?

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nvm I think I scared him off and now he replies dry and replies after literally like 10 hrs hahahahahah ahah ha ha h... I hate him bye

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eleven word story

you're light-hearted but I want to know your heavy-heart - an 11 word story, 9:53am

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man I can already feel myself loving a guy I’ve met for hardly a week. it’s not a romantic thing, but oh jeez, I love him already. I want to know every damn thing about him. I want to know everything about his torturous past that he so certainly did not deserve. I want to know every damn thing. he’s such a beautiful person and oh my god, my desire to know everything surpasses everything right now.

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and it sucks because we have such different schedules and sometimes he doesn’t reply on the instant and I know, I know, I know he doesn’t do it on purpose but I just panic bc he is so calming to me no matter what we talk about, and without talking to him my calmness is calm and I don’t feel at peace anymore. we won’t even be in the same country soon, and the 14 hour difference is what will keep me up at night (not that he doesn’t already do it to me on the daily). I keep feeling that I’m annoying him but oh my god, he’s one of those ones that say that nothing bother them and he is the chillest guy in the world, and I don’t doubt that for a second but he’s human and I’m human and oh god, what if I am annoying him? he keeps telling me that he’ll tell me a story about his past but he just keeps putting it off and i know I already reminded him twice and the last thing I want to be is pushy with him, but oh my god I want to know. I know I should give him space and a choice, and I keep telling him that it’s ok and he doesn’t have to tell me if he doesn’t want to, and that I know I’m being pushy but I do care about him. but he says that it’s alright and he will tell me because he wants to, but I can’t help but think that he’s lying and he’s forcing himself and it’s because of me that he’s thinking of those horrible things more. and I’m afraid that I scared him off and he’s such an open guy but I don’t think that’s the case with the true him. he wants to seem carefree and he’s so open about his problems when we’re in public and with a group but he raps about everything so vaguely and I want to know more. but he never wants to go into more detail when we’re alone. what’s the meaning in that? and I’m confused but I still love him because he’s a beautiful person, and who wouldn’t love him? I don’t miss people, so why do I miss him?

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he's such a chill guy and I love that about him but at the same time he puts off emotions and he'll mention something that bothers him and act like he doesn't care and oh my god, I know it's not my place to say that it bothers me because it's him that has problems, but it bothers me. and I'm trying so hard to not scare him off or bother him when he mentions something that upset him by being all caring but I can't help it, and he just ignores my efforts and replies to the funniest part of my msgs or sends something completely irrelevant to the conversation just to get out of it, and I don't mind, I really don't mind. because it's him and I understand. I really do. but I can't help but feel bad sometimes because damn it, damn it, damn it, show me something. but then I'll mention something that bothers me and he'll care, he will care and I know he cares but he will ask if I'm okay and what's wrong and I'll respond and he'll gently make a joke out of it and it's nice. really, it's nice and it's refreshing but damn it, man, I know there's so much more to you. I know there's a galaxy inside of you, so why don't you let that out? why, why, why? you'll keep me up for 3 hours and you'll be crazy and let yourself go at 12 o'clock in the morning, 1 o'clock in the morning, 2 o'clock in he morning, so why don't you give me your deepest thoughts sometimes because I know all this fun is merely the surface of something that was so deep that the Mariana's trench can't compare?

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man I can already feel myself loving a guy I've met for hardly a week. it's not a romantic thing, but oh jeez, I love him already. I want to know every damn thing about him. I want to know everything about his torturous past that he so certainly did not deserve. I want to know every damn thing. he's such a beautiful person and oh my god, my desire to know everything surpasses everything right now.

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I've been feeling so bad and anxious and nervous and depressed lately and I don't know how to cope because I have never really dealt with anxiety so up front before and certainly not with depression present at the same time and I feel so so so bad and idk man I just don't know why was I born man why

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I’m just so afraid of the future. I’m so afraid that I’m gonna end up living the most ordinary life and no one will ever know my name; that I won’t ever do something to change the world. I’m so afraid that one day I’ll die and no one will give 2 shts about that, and there will be no difference because what’s one person gone from billions and billions of people? I’m afraid that what if I did make a difference and I didn’t even know? What if I did make a difference and it all happened after I died and all I’ll have is just a fking biography without even knowing that I was someone and I mattered. 

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you know more and more about the god awful things that go on in the world, you ask yourself, do I want to be wise and knowledgable and hateful to the world, or be young and blind and oblivious?

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like my birthday just passed and no one seem like they really cared. Like I don’t want to sound ungrateful but only 1 friend actually gave me something but it wasn’t like “oh ur a great friend so I’m gonna give u something” kind of thing, and like 5 ppl msged me to wish me a happy birthday. I didn’t get ANY long msgs, they were all like “happy birthday” and sht????? like yeah thanks !!!! but ?????? my closest friends didn’t even send me anything. one of my closest friends sent me just “hbd” like not even anything else, like probably to be funny or something but she didn’t even say anything else???? I had like a party of few close friends and no one even got me anything (it seemed like they didn’t even want to come fr ??) Like I wasn’t rlly expecting them to buy me $10 or $20 gifts, but a card would’ve been rlly nice??? but nothing!!! like honestly, Idec if you don’t get me anything, but honestly, you’re not even gonna get me a card or anything??? I’m not asking u to write a novel, just a few sentences or something, just to show that you care or something?? and I know tweets and sht don’t rlly mean anything but why do you have to tweet my friend who’s b day is one LATER than me, but not me, one of your closest friends??? like am I not cool or good enough for you??? or do u not like me enough??? why am I never enough??? I would do so much for all of my friends, but they wouldn’t even go as far as typing or writing a few words for me. like even normally, I ask them to come to the washroom with me or go to my locker with me or sit with me or something but they are so unwilling and won’t even do anything for me, but when it’s other friends they’ll be like “oh you want me to come with you???” or just go with them. They don’t even reply my texts when I’m asking something. I’m always the one being made fun of and they think that Idc bc I’m always jokes and stuff, but when I tell them to stop or ask friends to tell ppl making fun of me to stop, they just don’t care!!!!! they just keep doing it and they’re like “oh idk what’s going on” or “its only a joke”. They always wait for one another and when I’m not even packed up they already left without me. I’m always tagging along and they don’t even care if I’m there or not. They text me when they can’t find one another to find them, but never asks where I am. when I call them out on sht like "why did you leave me in the washroom alone" they just look at me like I'm bitching bout some normal crap that doesn't even matter, like I'm the bitch here. Like no??????? I'm literally asking you why TF you guys decided to do that and calling you out on sht you know you shouldnt have done????? I’m so tired of being treated like sht.

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I feel like I deserve so much better than this

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worst thing bout past depression experiences is like am I just rlly tired and having a bad week or am I getting ill again lol ?????