Please write that Amy’s choice essay
amy's choice is an elevenamy episode masquerading as an amyrory episode and in this essay i WILL be addressing that.
the whole concept of the episode is deeply interesting to me. this is one of the first instances of amy actually not really having a choice at all. at this point, halfway through season, we've decently established amy and the doctor's relationship, and the hints we've gotten of rory have been. uhm. crazy.
rory is introduced to us as amy's bumbling boyfriend, who, while well meaning, is ultimately not someone that is seriously compatible with amy. amy has experienced some childhood trauma (her parents were eaten by a fucking crack in spacetime and then the only guy she could sort of trust disappeared on her for 12 years. yeesh) that has stunted her emotional growth and leaves her in a state of sort of perpetual adolescence. rory is a band-aid to the solution. rory is representative of someone that amy could have wanted to be with if she didn't carry this trauma. but that's not what happened to her.
the major appearances that rory has had when we start amy's choice is the eleventh hour where amy does not want to admit they have a serious relationship (she calls them just friends still. idk if this is in general, or just in front of the doctor, but she does not want to be perceived as in a relationship with rory. lmao) and then at the end we see amy actively using the doctor to run away from her obligations to rory. then she cheats on him with the doctor in flesh and stone. and then they meet up again in vampires in venice where amy basically avoids making a choice by dragging rory into the tardis, even when rory himself expects that they will just go on a break or something. i would argue that this in and of itself is amy not choosing rory. she is not ready for marriage. she still wants to explore herself and who she could become if she doesn't settle down.
amy's choice starts off with amy and rory in domestic bliss with amy barefoot and pregnant. the show makes a deliberate choice to frame being a wife and mother as the only thing amy will be if she chooses this life. there are plenty of women who find enjoyment in being a mother and women who continue to have rich lives in addition to being a mother. but amy doesn't get this. being a wife is a cage to her. it will only trap her.
then, when they flash back into the tardis, the doctor describes this vision as a terrible nightmare and even hugs amy to reassure himself that that won't happen to her. (elevenamy crumbs. as we know, eleven and amy are one entity, so we can assume they have similar views on the matter). then we meet the dream lord who we know is the manifestation of a dark part of the doctor's subconscious. and he sets up this entire game of choosing. the fact that dream lord knows this is the sensitive spot to poke shows that the doctor is aware that amy has feelings for him that are actively stopping her from fully committing to rory. (and the dream lord knows about amy's sex dreams. which could mean nothing.)
amy and rory have a conversation in the fake tardis world where rory wants the leadworth life to be real and amy can't fathom ever "giving up all this" (traveling + the doctor). she also says she never wants to grow up. when she is blatantly asked by rory if she still wants to get married, she says "someday" which is another nonchoice! she wants to keep both these men in her back pocket and avoids doing anything that will lock her into a choice, lest she regrets it later.
the main part of the episode that people point to as "amy choosing rory" is when he dies in fake leadworth. when he turns to dust, amy demands that the doctor fix it, and when he can't, she says this must be the dream and insists on elevenamy joint suicide. what i find interesting about this is that amy has "chosen" rory in a way that still leads her back to the doctor. she says she can't exist in a world without rory, so the one where they're still traveling with the doctor must be the real world. i also think this is another example of amy being strong armed into a choice. rory is clearly very important to amy, but i don't think that means he's whats best for her, or that his values align with hers. amy not wanting rory dead does not fix their incompatibility.
amy insisting that the doctor fix it and saying "whats the point of you" when he can't is also deeply interesting to me. amy is so aware of the doctor's otherworldliness. she turns him into a god in many ways and i think she almost has to view him like that. he's never allowed to be flawed. he saved her when she was a kid and he came back for her and he took her to see the stars. amy literally views the doctor as a panacea. in any situation, the doctor has an obligation to save her. in this instance, it's stopping rory from dying, but in most of their relationship, the doctor is saving her from having to marry rory.
i don't think amy ever fully chooses rory. she's never put into a situation where rory explicitly (and without the threat of death) asks her to leave the doctor for him. (i think he doesn't ask this because he knows amy won't choose him.) rory comes along with her and the doctor because amy is not capable of making a choice.
(TATM is...interesting. once again amy is forced into a choice by the narrative; if the weeping angel wasn't there, amy would not have left the doctor on her own volition. i also think the narrative itself guilts her into choosing rory, but we can talk about TATM somewhere else. this is getting long.)
and if this whole episode is a metaphor for amy choosing between rory or the doctor, what does it mean that it's revealed that both the realities are false? that there was never a choice? it's about the lack of choice and agency that amy has. it never mattered what she actually wants, because she will not be allowed to make a choice. everything will happen around her, or the doctor and rory will make choices for her, but amy doesn't actually get to choose. this episode is ostensibly about her choosing rory or the doctor and she does choose the doctor. it ends the exact same way it started, with amy continuing to travel with the doctor (and rory on their heels), because amy doesn't get to choose. the plot moves along and takes her with it, not the other way around.
(also dying in a fiery car crash w someone (on purpose) is the most romantic thing in the universe argue with the wall)
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