Characters: Haida, Retsuko, Fenneko, Ookami, Tsunoda, Ton, Resasuke
Relationship: Haida/Ookami
Summary: AU where Retsuko didn’t break up with Resasuke and Haida is dealing with that.
Warnings: None
- - -
CHAPTER 13
« Prev , Next »
Words: 2,719
Betaed by: @pomp-adourable
A/N: Hello again guys :3! I'm thinking about uploading one chapter monthly, somewhere around the 25th of each month (could be a bit earlier, could be a bit later like this time, depending on external circumstances). Thank you all so much for the interest you keep in this fic! <3 It keeps me going ;u;
After 5 years of working as an accountant, doing math was nearly as easy as breathing. It didn’t require as much concentration as it did in the beginning, allowing him to think about other things while working. Usually those things were music, playing his bass when he’d get home, eavesdropping at the conversations Fenneko and Retsuko would have, or simply lowkey paying attention to what his coworkers were saying or doing… But that day, he couldn’t stop thinking about Ookami. He couldn’t stop feeling guilty for the conversation they’d had only a couple of hours earlier. He made his coworker- no, his friend feel bad, jabbing into him the one thing Ookami had told him he hated. He didn’t mean to do it on purpose… it’d just slipped his mind that he wasn’t supposed to have that conversation with him at all. But now, he couldn’t think of a way to fix things. What was he supposed to do?
‘Just talk to him,’ his mind would tell him. ‘Explain to him everything, explain what Fenneko said, that you intended to ask if it was true or not, but then decided to not do it.”
But what if he asks ‘Why?’
‘Because I know you don’t want to be in a relationship.’ Would that be a proper response?
‘Do you mean that… you want to be in a relationship with me?’ the Ookami in his head asked, making his heart jump.
‘N-No! I just…’ he tried to explain to the figment of his imagination, but even physically, a lump formed in his throat.
What did he want?
He raised his eyes, knowing that Retsuko was still there, just behind the screen of his computer. And she was smiling. That sweet smile she’d had since she started dating the sales guy.
That smile wasn’t for him… Why did he still care about her so much?
He sighed and shook his head, taking a moment to rub his eyes.
‘How do you feel about him?’ Fenneko’s question from the other day resounded in his head.
“I don’t know…”
“I’m sorry?” The anteater next to him asked, startling him. Shit, did he say that out loud?
“Ah, nothing! I just- I was talking to myself. I think I got a few numbers wrong,” he made up an excuse, chuckling in embarrassment.
“Hm. You might wanna check that. You don’t want Ton to be upset,” the anteater responded indifferently just before turning his attention back to his computer.
“Yes, you’re right. Thank you, Arihiko,” Haida said and he exhaled softly through the mouth, lowering his eyes to his fingers resting on the keys of his keyboard.
… How did he feel about Ookami? Did that even matter? Even if he was remotely interested in the younger male as something more than a friend, Ookami didn’t want to date anyone. That’s all there was to it. Besides, he’d never felt that way about another male before… How could he know his feelings were genuine, and not just trying to fill in the hole that losing Retsuko had left him?
It was ridiculous. It was so stupid. He was so stupid. He wished Fenneko had never told him about Ookami’s possible feelings.
He just wanted a friend. Yeah, that’s all he really needed. Just a friend that would help him get distracted, that would help him not think about Retsuko and her monthly celebrations with her little boyfriend anymore. He needed to stop thinking about all the nonsense Fennko implied, and focus on bonding with Ookami more. As a friend. Because come to think of it, he didn’t really know Ookami too well outside of work. What kind of music did he like? What kind of movies did he like? What were his hobbies?... He could focus more on that. Maybe asking Ookami to hang out more often; go to a bar to grab a single drink -wouldn’t want to over do it like that other night- or just go to each other’s houses... Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn’t it?
… If only Ookami wasn’t upset with him.
Sigh. Well, he would apologize then.
How about coming up with a lie?
‘Well, as a matter of fact, Fenneko told me that you, uh… were into some weird fetishes!’ He practiced the conversation in his head, not being able to fight back a little laugh. ‘And that’s fine, I mean, whether that’s true or not, that’s your business. You’re still an awesome friend.’
He couldn’t help laughing some more. Yeah, that could work. If Ookami were to ask which fetishes were they, well, he could just mention some of his own, and if Ookami said it was true, then they’d have something new to bond over. Haha, it was perfect!
Feeling a little more confident in being able to solve things, he peeked over his right shoulder at his young coworker, finding him a little hunched over as he was writing down something in a notebook. His screen had gone black, and he could see the reflection of his concentrated face on it. He couldn’t help smiling.
‘I’ll talk to him during lunch break,’ he decided. ‘I’ll get him that soda and we’ll laugh about Fenneko’s made-up rumor. Then I’ll ask him to hang out after work… and everything will be fine.’
After a couple of seconds, Ookami raised his head and seemed to notice his superior’s gaze through the reflection of his screen, for he looked up at him the same way first, and then turned properly to face him. It made Haida’s heart jump, but he offered him a wider smile as he exchanged looks with him for a little longer.
‘Everything will be ok,’ he repeated in his head, and didn’t wait for a reaction from the younger male before turning his attention back to his computer and nodding to himself.
Alright, he had work to do and he needed to hurry if he wanted to leave work early. They had a fun evening ahead.
‘Work fast, Ookami,’ he mentally told him, and immediately went back to checking and organizing the numbers displayed on his screen.
20 minutes later, Fenneko’s voice distracted his attention from the retaken work.
“Ugh…” she whimpered softly. “This crap is just never ending.”
Heh, damn right. And if he wanted his crap to be done soon, he needed to focus.
“I’ll get some coffee,” he heard her say as he raised his eyes to watch her stand up and pause for a moment to turn to the red panda. “Do you want anything, Retsuko?”
Coffee. Yes, that sounded good. Even thinking about the strong hot beverage made his mouth water.
“Mmh, no, I’m good,” was the red panda’s response, and he was about to tell Fenneko that he did want coffee, when the small fennec fox simply turned away, mumbling ‘Alright’ before making her way out of the Accounting Department.
Oh… Jeez, would’ve been nice if she’d asked him if he wanted anything. He could say it was understandable, since Retsuko was right next to her and he was in front of her desk, it was easier to just get something for the red panda, but… Dang it, now he really wanted coffee…
He shook his head. No, no, no, no, there was no time for that. He needed to finish these Excel pages before lunch break, then he could have all the coffee his heart desired. But right then, he needed to focus; not think about anything else, not even the sound of a chair rolling behind him, not even the orange figure cruising out of the corner of his eye, that made him look up only in time to see Ookami leaving the Accounting Department...
… And suddenly he was paralyzed.
His mind immediately started racing, formulating a theory that made his blood run cold in his veins as he asked himself ‘Is he going after Fenneko?’
Shit… Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Oh no. Oh no, what could he do? He couldn’t let Fenneko tell him the truth, that would ruin everything! Would it be weird if he stood up and just bolted after them? Should he do that?
‘Ok, no, chill, chill, chill…’ he told himself mentally, taking a sharp deep breath. ‘Maybe you’re getting everything wrong. Maybe he just needed to go to the bathroom… exactly at the same frikkin’ time...’
No. No, that was stupid. It couldn’t be that big of a coincidence.
‘Fenneko has never been good at giving direct answers,’ he tried to convince himself then. ‘If he asks… hell, she probably wouldn’t even tell him the truth… Maybe she’d evade the topic. She’d probably play fool. Yeah, she’d do that!’
Except… she wouldn’t, and he knew she wouldn’t.
Fuck. No. No, he couldn’t just sit there and hope for the best. He needed to intervene. So as casually as possible he rolled his chair back and stood up, taking a moment to stretch and try to pretend he wasn’t in a hurry, even if his heart was pounding in his chest. Then he slipped his hands in the pockets of his pants and walked to the entrance, feeling his legs begging him to run as he was getting closer, so once he turned around the corner and out of the sight of his boss and his coworkers, he broke into a sprint towards the tea room, the heels of his polished shoes resounding in the empty halls. He was going so fast that the moment he heard Ookami’s voice when he was about to reach said room, he almost couldn’t stop himself, nearly tripping over his own feet.
“But, wha- Why would you tell him that?!” He heard the younger male practically yell, and panting as quietly as possible, he pressed himself against the wall, perking his round ears to listen to the conversation.
He was late... Shit!
“Was it a lie?” Fenneko’s voice responded calmly, nonchalantly.
“Ah- Yes! Well… no, but...” was Ookami’s short response, then there was a brief moment of silence only broken by the tinkling of a metal spoon against a mug.
“It’s alright, no one is blaming you, Ookami. He can be adorkable sometimes,” his little friend responded, receiving no answer from the maned wolf for a few seconds. There was the subtle sound of slurping, and then Fenneko’s voice spoke again. “Why don’t you tell him?”
“Why would I do that? He’s in love with Retsuko-Senpai,” Ookami mumbled so quietly he almost didn’t hear him over the sound of his own breathing. “Besides, you already told him, and- Actually, no! I don’t even feel that way about him!”
A low scoff, probably coming from Fenneko.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” she said in a mocking tone, tinkling the metal spoon around the mug some more. “Listen. Whatever reason you have for not wanting to be in a relationship-”
“How did you-?”
“-is it really worth losing a chance to be with Haida? He said he was considering giving one of his fanboys a chance. You could be the lucky winner.”
Another long pause. Haida could feel his heart in his throat. What was Fenneko doing?
“He’s a good guy,” she spoke again. “Kind of an idiot sometimes, but he’s well intended. If I were you, I would stop pretending that I don’t have feelings for him and try to see if there can be something between us. Who knows? Maybe you two could pull each other out of your misery.”
Pull each other out…?
There was the sound of running water, and he guessed Fenneko was rinsing the spoon.
“Think about it, Ookami,” she said, and just as he was starting to process everything he’d just heard, the small fennec fox appeared through the doorway, making him jump out of his skin. “Oh. Hey Haida!” she greeted him loudly before he could raise his hands to gesture her to be quiet, and she marched back to the Accounting Department with the cup of coffee in her hand.
After her footsteps disappeared down the hall, everything became so… quiet. He was frozen in his place, his heart still beating at full speed for he knew, he knew, that Ookami was still in the tea room and that he had heard Fenneko greet him before leaving.
Ookami knew he was there.
What should he do? Should he walk back to the Accounting Department…?
But he couldn’t just leave Ookami there, that would make it seem as if he’d gotten mad or was uncomfortable... No... No, he could just pretend he had just arrived. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good idea!
Okay…
He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, squared his shoulders, and walked out of his hiding spot behind the wall, finding Ookami standing still next to the sink with his back turned to the door. He felt a pressure on his chest.
“Hey Ookami!” He greeted him as calmly and cheerfully as possible. “I just, uh, I just came to grab some coffee. I overheard Fenneko say she was coming to get one and I was like ‘Oh, I want one too!’ but then she just turned away and came on her own and I was like ‘Jeez! You could’ve asked me if I wanted one because I totally would’ve said yes!’ You know what I’m saying?” He laughed and waited for Ookami to say something, but the maned was still completely imobile and silent, like a statue. “Do you, uh, do you want some coffee too? I could prepare one for the both of us.”
“Did you hear our conversation?” The younger male finally asked, and Haida felt his heart leap to his throat.
“Uh, no, uh, what? What conversation?” He replied. “I just arrived. I-I was arriving just as Fenneko was leaving. I didn’t hear anything,” he assured, shrugging and leaning against the stove.
“It doesn’t matter, you know it anyway...” Ookami mumbled, mostly to himself.
“I-I know what?”
But instead of giving an answer, Ookami turned to walk past him out the door. He didn’t have time to even process it, he just instinctively reached out and grabbed his coworker by the arm before he could get away.
“Wait!” He exclaimed, and now that he had Ookami held in place, he knew he couldn’t keep playing dumb.
It was time. It was time to speak out.
“Ookami…” he started and took a deep breath to compose himself. “...Okay, yes. Yes, I heard everything and yes, I... I know…”
Even though he softened his grip on his coworker’s arm, he kept holding him, approaching a little to keep the conversation in whispers between them.
“But it’s ok, Ookami. I’m not mad or anything stupid like that,” he continued. “I’m sorry I didn’t have the guts to ask you about this earlier… but I was just trying to avoid making you uncomfortable. I didn’t want you to feel like I was stripping your feelings naked, in case that they were true…”
Haida looked down as he unconsciously caressed the younger’s arm with his thumb.
“Just know that… it’s alright. Okay? It doesn’t have to go anywhere from here. I know how you feel about the whole being in a relationship thing and I’d never… Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d want it either. I’ve never been with another male, and Retsuko… well, she’s still there. It’s still hard for me to stop thinking about her.” He chuckled softly and shook his head. “So, listen… I had a bit of time to think about this, and... how about we just stay as friends? I think it’s mostly what both of us need right now, a friend, and I’d love to get to know you a little better in that regard. I’d love to hang out with you more often outside of work. I really think we could actually be best buds… So what do you say? Should we just pretend all of this didn’t happen and continue being pals?”
Haida waited patiently for his reply, swallowing saliva as quietly as possible, but although it took him a couple of seconds, the maned wolf finally raised his eyes to him, looking considerably more calm.
“Yeah, I... I think I’d really like that,” Ookami said gently, even managing to smile a bit. “Thank you, Senpai.”
Characters: Haida, Retsuko, Fenneko, Ookami, Tsunoda, Ton, Resasuke
Relationship: Haida/Ookami
Summary: AU where Retsuko didn’t break up with Resasuke and Haida is dealing with that.
Warnings: None
- - -
CHAPTER 12
« Prev , Next »
Words: 2,160
Betaed by: @pomp-adourable
A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry for not updating in a long time, I've been jumping through fandoms like parkour lmfao, but I definitely intend to continue this fic. Just needed to be in the right mindset for it, and season 3 was definitely a boost. Anyway, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your nice comments and for your interest in the story ;w;!! They keep me going <3 I hope y'all enjoy the new chapter and stay awesome, luv y'all! <3
“Ookami…”
Haida’s voice was soft, gentle, however he had to make a little pause to try to collect his thoughts, and generally, himself. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest, and he wondered if it’d be the same for the maned wolf. He knew about his feelings… not about the ones he might have for him, but about the ones he had for the idea of being in a relationship. So he wanted to say things as carefully as possible. He didn’t want to hurt him.
“Fenneko told me something funny the other day…”
He stopped and shook his head. No, ‘funny’ wasn’t the right word to use.
“Fenneko told me something interesting the other day…”
Yeah, that was better.
“She pointed out that…or, I mean, implied… that you might have feelings for me…”
His heart rate increased, but he knew he couldn’t stop there or it would make his coworker uncomfortable.
“I-I just wanted to ask if it’s true! You can tell me! I won’t be mad or anything, n-nor I’ll force you onto something because I know you don’t want to be in a relationship! I-I mean…”
He stopped, wondering where would he even go with that? What difference would it make if he knew if Ookami’s feelings were true or not? Ookami didn’t want to date anyone, and himself… What did he want? Was he so starved for love that he was willing to feed off the feelings of his friend?
In the end he sighed and shook his head with a gentle smile, setting his gaze on the egg frying in the pan before him.
“I’m sorry, Ookami…” he mumbled to the maned wolf in his imagination before letting go of that picture. There was no use in practicing that conversation anymore. Besides, it was nearly 8 am and he needed to finish getting ready for work.
He devoured his fried eggs and toasted bread quickly before leaving the dirty dishes in the sink and moving on to shrug on his blazer and put on his shoes. Weather was getting quite cold, but thankfully not enough for him to need to take another coat. Plus running to the subway station would always help to keep him warm.
***
There hadn’t been anything unusual going on when he got to the building, neither when he took the elevator, but as soon as he turned the last corner towards the Accounting Department, there were two things that caught his attention: One, that the area seemed a lot noisier, with several voices exchanging dialogues with Retsuko’s voice; and two, that Ookami was standing outside the door, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
“Ookami?” escaped from his lips, feeling his heart thump in his chest just as his coworker turned his emerald eyes to him. But the maned wolf didn’t say anything right away, he just stood from the wall and walked fast towards him.
“Come with me, Senpai,” he mumbled as he grabbed his hand, and being harshly tugged, Haida had to hop a couple of times to regain balance and walk at the speed Ookami was walking.
“Wh-What’s going on?” he asked nervously, but got no answer from the younger male, not until he shoved both of them in the Archive room and closed the door behind them.
Ookami sighed, resting gently against the door and looking down to the floor with his ears slightly folded backwards.
“I’m sorry, Senpai… Let’s just wait here until it’s nine o’clock and everyone’s gone back to their stations...”
Haida stared at Ookami for a bit, hoping the maned wolf would elaborate about the situation, but as silence stretched between them, curiosity got the best of him, especially for how affected his coworker looked.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to not sound too worried.
It took a few seconds for Ookami to reply, but when he did, his voice was gentle.
“Apparently it’s Restuko-Senpai’s 9th month with her boyfriend. She brought him to the Accounting Department to introduce him to everyone…” he paused for a breath. “...As soon as I saw him, I knew I couldn’t let you walk in to see him there. So I said I was going to get some coffee and, well… decided to wait for you to arrive, to take you away...”
Another pause, a little longer this time. Ookami gave his coworker a moment to absorb and process the information given, and Haida lowered his eyes to the floor.
Was that so...?
Right, it was the 25th of October. He knew that, he changed the date in his kitchen calendar as he would every morning, but for some reason, that day it didn’t sink in. For the past 9 months, he had been dreading to see the numbers two and five appear together in that small, squared piece of paper. However, for the first time since then, he just… ignored it.
“I see…” was his mindless response, only to let the maned wolf know he was now aware of the situation.
“I’m sorry,” Ookami said with a hint of sadness in his voice, and Haida raised his eyes to him.
“You don’t gotta apologize, Ookami!” He tried to laugh it off, offering him a gentle smile. “It is what it is. If anything, I’m grateful that you…” he stopped for a bit. He knew what he was going to say, but the words in his head were making his heart speed again, a light blush tinting his cheeks. “I’m grateful that you keep looking out for me,” he concluded.
At least he wasn’t the only one blushing now; he could see some color spreading over the younger‘s cheeks, and he looked sheepish.
“Y-Yes, well…” this one started, giving himself a moment to collect himself, as he straightened his back and looked up to the ceiling while shrugging, trying to play it off as something insignificant. “You’re my friend. I want you to be ok.”
Haida laughed softly and slowly approached to lay against the door, next to him, leaving his briefcase on the floor while watching out for any sign of rejection from the younger male, like scooting away or giving him an odd look, but there was none; the maned wolf just remained in his place, keeping his eyes above and swinging his tail every now and then. He couldn’t help smiling. It was so weird to think that they had bonded over that mess of a situation, but if something good had come out of it, it was this… This… relationship he now had with Ookami. He wasn’t dismissing Fenneko, of course, Fenneko was irreplaceable, but Ookami had a way to make him feel special. Like he really enjoyed his company, like he really cared about him. And he couldn’t lie, it was nice. It was nice to hang out with someone that wouldn’t be tapping at their phone the whole time, or… give him vague answers, like trying to avoid talking to him… Every time they were together, it was like nothing else mattered to the maned wolf but him… and it was nice.
After a minute of silence, Ookami lowered his gaze to his superior, confirming what he thought he’d noticed out of the corner of his eye: that he was staring at him.
“What is it?” He asked calmly, though it was secretly making him a little nervous.
“Ookami, can I ask you something?” Haida replied mindlessly, tilting his head while looking into his coworker’s eyes.
“Um, sure?”
“Well, you see,” the hyena started, chuckling as he moved his gaze to the floor and changed the position of his feet. “Fenneko told me something interesting the other day…”
He paused for a moment, feeling his heart starting to race in his chest. Wait, was he really doing this?
“Fenneko-Senpai? What did she say?”
“W-Well....”
Wait! No, no, no, no, what was he doing? Why was he doing this? He had already decided to not have that conversation with Ookami, didn’t he remember? He wouldn’t know what to do with the information, afterwards. Sure, if it wasn’t true they could just laugh it off like some sort of joke, but if it was true? Then what? Wouldn’t that make things awkward for both of them? Wouldn’t that ruin their friendship?
“Senpai?” Ookami asked after a prolonged silence, leaning forward to try to look at his superior’s face and slowly perking his ears up.
“Um... nothing, Ookami. Nevermind.” Haida decided to discard it, turning a little bit to offer the maned wolf an awkward smile. “It would probably be better to leave things like this.”
“Leave things like what? What are you talking about?” the younger one asked and Haida’s eyes twitched.
Oh no, what had he done?
“N-Nothing! Just... you know... our friendship and all. We should just leave it like this,” he tried to explain, only managing to make the maned wolf squint in utter confusion with a glint of concern reflected in his eyes. “Ah, just, forget about it Ookami, it’s not important.”
“No, but wait... What about our friendship? Is there something wrong? What did Fenneko-Senpai tell you?”
“There’s nothing wrong, Ookami. Everything is ok! Okay?” Haida chuckled, placing a hand on his coworker’s shoulder to try to seem reassuring, but failing to hide the wavering of his voice.
Oh man, what had he done? He knew Ookami hated when someone would say “it’s nothing” when clearly something was off. He could already see the younger’s eyebrows pressing together. He needed to change the subject, immediately.
“Ah! Would you look at the time?” He asked cheerfully before pulling back the sleeves of his shirt and blazer to look at his watch, smiling widely at the position of the hands. “Two minutes before 9! We should hurry back to the Accounting Department now, or Ton will be furious if we’re late.”
“Senpai...” Ookami’s soft voice called him as he was leaning down to pick his briefcase, but he wasn’t going to let him finish.
“You’re a great friend, Ookami. Thank you so much for saving me again,” he interrupted him with a genuine smile, opening the door gently to give his coworker time to lean up. “I-I’ll compensate you for it. How about during lunch? I’ll get you a drink! A coffee, a soda, anything you want. Yes?”
He waited a couple of seconds for an answer, but the maned wolf didn’t say a word, he just stared at him intensely, his aura reflecting his disapproval of Haida evading the topic, and the hyena sighed.
“Don’t worry about it, Ookami… Okay? It’s really nothing,” he reassured him once more, this time making himself sound more convinced. “Just a silly rumor, but nothing worth being given importance. I appreciate you a whole lot, so even if it were true, it wouldn’t matter! We’d still be friends, as we are now. Everything is fine.”
Haida could see the younger’s shoulders relaxing ever so slightly, but he still looked very insecure and puzzled, only drifting his gaze from him to look at the floor for a second before immediately returning it to him.
“Just forget about it, please,” He insisted. “I know you hate when someone says ‘nothing is wrong’, but you have to believe me this time that really nothing is.”
“Then why won’t you tell me?” Ookami asked with a harsh voice.
“Because I’m afraid it’ll make things awkward between us. Not on my behalf, I just said that even if it were true I wouldn’t mind… but maybe for you? It’s not a risk I’m willing to take, Ookami. I really like hanging out with you, spending time with you, and I don’t want that to be stained. It was stupid of me to even mention it, and I’m sorry that I have to leave you perplexed, but I need you to trust me… It’s not worth talking about.”
Haida gave his words a moment to sink in, resulting in Ookami only lowering his eyes and folding his ears backwards as he slowly slid his hands in the pockets of his pants. He smiled a bit to himself. The younger didn’t seem to be willing to press on, which was good, but... he certainly wasn’t looking too happy either. He hated seeing him like that. He exhaled softly through the nose and approached him, placing a hand under his muzzle to pull his face up and be able to look him in the eyes.
“Hey. Everything is ok, I promise,” he repeated gently, wondering what else he could do or say for the maned wolf to believe him, but although a tint of red had spread over the younger’s cheeks, he didn’t hold his gaze for long. He looked away and took a hand to remove Haida’s from under his chin as he started surrounding him.
“If you say so, Senpai,” he responded weakly, letting go of his superior’s hand before making his way out the door.
Part of the reason Washimi doesnt hates marriage is because her last one made her realize she is a lesbian and now she holds so much spite for the entire thing in her heart
romaincrisis
janainaart
origamiaround
gummygunk
areudirty
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
