a teen.

English isn't my native language, so please don't judge TT

[aheartbroken15yo]

Return for Spring.

If I were in ghastly white fabrics,

My fingers,all scarred from strings,

If i kept alcohol hid in stashes,

Will my lover return for spring?

If my love meets with devotion,

A saviour who held me in gold,

One day, perhaps centuries later—

Will they be someone I could hold?

When centuries turn to millennia,

Your face, I will still recognise,

The memories kept in my hand,

Turn sweet— no longer agonise

When the flowers have finally bloomed

In all four seasons, I'll lie with a grin,

I'll lay with my lover for whom I yearned,

All was worth it, no matter how long it's been.

| aheartbroken15yo

: It's shorter than my usual length, and each stanza refers to a certain Danmei :) I'd like to see what y'all think they danmeis are, though i believe its quite obvious lol

[aheartbroken15yo]

Faith?

My eyes and glasses tinted pink,

Palms smeared and stained with ink,

My wrist now in each twist aches

Trying to catch a declared fake.

Desperate needs to desperate calls—

Seen by no one but loved by all,

Devotion that has one draw a sword,

Despair disguised as love and word.

No call returned, no painting stays,

Blindly we shall follow your ways,

Never to question, not even dare,

The wisdom that you brought to share

So heed my calls and return my words,

For this painting is to be left undone,

My arms will long have left your faith,

For your kingdom is filled with wraiths.

[aheartbroken15yo]

No longer heart broken, no longer 14. Time to change my user? I think not

[aheartbroken15yo]

Painting.

I'll hold a pencil to a blank canvas

And shuffle through my world of pigments,

The face I searched across the atlas,

Shall be waiting for me there in fragments 

So I'll drag my pencil and start to trace—

Mapping the ponds and caves across the land, 

Will there be plums blossoming on their face, 

Or will their beauty be a castle of sand?

Will their moves shame a passing deer? 

Will they have the ocean tides for hair?

And if my legs dare to take me near,

Will their gaze alone steal my air?

When both my bare arms fail to reach out 

Will they embrace me like the sun?

From far away,when I scream and shout, 

Will they hear me say they're the one?

Will their words be as bright as their presence,

Blinding everyone who dares to come close?

Will their shine become a glowing warmth,

When my surroundings start to turn cold?

And as I drag my pencil through the gray,

The blank canvas now awash in awe

Beside me, stays my lover calmly laid,

Adoring me, as I capture what I saw.

[aheartbroken15yo]

okay hi

I haven't been posting or have been online cuz well a lot of stuff has been going on. Nothing bad really, just academic stuff (apparently being the deputy head means having a lot of responsibilities)

Other than that, i made this account to sort of move on which eventually sorta turned into a poetry account, and none of that is actually quite happening right now

I have moved on, thankfully, I mean learning the fact that he was cheating the entire time helped a lot in taking off my rose tinted glasses. But now that I don't hold any melancholic nor any romantic feelings, poetry just doesn't come out. I have only ever written when I felt like my feelings were overflowing. And so, I haven't really been inspired or moved by anything, so no poems to share :)

Anywayy, I'm still here, still standing, it's not my best year currently but if possible, one day I'll be able to look back to now and think of all the lessons I've learnt, yea?

I'll post it I come up with any poetry, or just my random thoughts once in a whilee

[aheartbroken15yo]

Being a teenager is fascinating. I have seen my sister's life as an adult. Full of mayhem, chaos, stress. Not quite the one you would look forward to. I've seen adults on the internet— always wondering if they could go back to being a child again.

I'm aware how the adult life stinks, it's nothing to floor forward to— and adults constantly find themselves wondering, why did they wish they could be adults too?

I completely understand their sentiment, I wonder why as a child I wanted to be a teen. But now, even after knowing the stress it causes, I can't help but be looking forward to entering my twenties.

Maybe, it's not about being an adult. Maybe it's about how we can't change the present or past. The only thing unreliable, is the future. The only place we can put our hopes on— is the future.

Maybe I don't want to be an adult, I just want the changes in my life. And they might happen in the future, when I grow up.

Anyway thanks for coming to me ted talk byeee

[picklemafia]

Since you’re always coming up with cool prompts and all, here’s a little one for you:

Not to sound like a nosy anon but, what’s your biggest inspiration when you write? Spill the tea 🍵✍️ And tag a few folks to answer too”

Great question! Really just little pieces of my life in general. Usually people I've met and the experiences we've had. I've had a very interesting life so it's the easiest thing for me to write about. So many different ways I could word the stories, so to speak. And so many different stories. I have bits of my life I've never touched in my writing, though I would like to change that.

@moonknightmaiden @noxnightingales @peepeepoopoo3d @butwhyareyoureyessosad @nyx-tenberis @faemaril @behindstonewalls

[nyx-tenberis]

^^ Thanks for the tag @picklemafia..

So.. what inspires me?✨

All of my works are inspired from my own life experiences, what I have seen, felt and observed.. but I try my best to dress them up in a way that anyone reading could see a part of themselves in it.. ^~^

Now you guys..

@wrentalks , @lucilleambrose , @faemaril , @knight-qoheleth , @knownunderthemoon, @aheartbroken14yo, @amaramyaccount, @stfuandreaa ..

[aheartbroken15yo]

Thanks for the tagg @nyx-tenberis <33

What inspires me and my stuff? Well, it definitely depends on what I'm going through at the moment, if I'm creating something personal. Other than that? I create them based on the stories that I'm reading, or scenarios im imagining ^^

Your turn 🛞

@otimaybe @moonmurmurs123

[aheartbroken15yo]

AAAAAAHHH BUT STILL WDYM ONE OF THE REASONS YOU BROKE UP WITG ME WAS CUZ U FELT GUILTY ABT NOT BEING ABLE TO RECIPROCATE MY ADMIRATION?

Did i ever force you? I was very transparent about the fact that no matter if you stopped looking at me with adoration, no matter if you never reciprocate, it wouldn't matter because what mattered is that I liked you.

I wanted you to feel loved.

I wanted you to feel that you had someone.

BUT APPARENTLY LOVING SOMEONE TOO HARD IS BAEJAIQJEHDJAJWJSJ I'LL KILL HIM

[aheartbroken15yo]

I got my closure.

I found out why he did all that.

I'm ready to move on.

Thanks for being here with me :)

[aheartbroken15yo]

But like, getting blocked by a guy is a win right

[aheartbroken15yo]

Being one of his special exes by being one of the few ones that are blocked is NOT making me happy

[aheartbroken15yo]

The power went out,

The world turned dark—

Screams from children who were yet to get used to this emerged.

The chatter of people that were dulled with the sound of machinery was amplified, and yet—

The world felt silent. Still.

I looked off to the distance.

The dark highway reminded me that of the ocean.

The wind reminded that of the sea breeze.

I closed my eyes and sat down, placing my mind at the beach, placing it be at ease.

But as I sat silently, taking in the space,

A familiar scent whiffed up, not sure from where it came.

It was sweet, raspy and refreshing, yet it clouded my mind.

For such a beautiful smell, it only held memories unkind.

Memories of envy, memories of being bitter, memories of being at my happiest, memories that I ran away from the entire day.

It had found me again, or was it me who did?

Was it the one never leaving my trail, or was the one chasing me?

Tears welled up in my eyes, not daring to fall

I got up and walked away—

As the power came back again, and the obnoxious world had started spinning as it shall.

[aheartbroken15yo]

You ever wanna pierce your chest with a knife and let the blood ooze out so that it feels lighter? Like not in a suicidal way but more like a too-heavy-to-handle kinda way

[aheartbroken15yo]

Crying in my bathroom with the tap open cause it's easier convincing the world that I've moved on than it is to actually move on.

[aheartbroken15yo]

Guess who's been blocked lmao

[aheartbroken15yo]

You could've left my life silently, without messing it up.

And now I can't even celebrate the things I've always wanted.

Because with every win, my mind searches, craves for your presence. And every time it comes face to face with the fact that it's no longer there—

It goes silent. It asks, "who are we really celebrating for? Does it even matter?" Because it so desperately wants to see you being proud of me again.

I'll never forget that proud look on your face that motivated me every morning. It still does, knowing well that if in another universe we're together, you'll still be looking at me with those eyes. Not this universe, but perhaps the next one.

[aheartbroken15yo]

Glad to know that there no longer will be any doubts of "what if I had reached out?", because if I really mattered, I'd still get a reply after 3 years. And since I don't, it doesn't matter whether I reach out to them within 3 hours or 30 days.