Nosotros no aprender de la paz.

 Artist | Crybaby

[aheartlessartist]

Double Vision Edit: 6-15 Vape Photo Shoot; 

Model: weareyoungheart aka DK

[pi-la]

Every. Fucking. Morning.

[hillergoodspeed]

[radio-free-mars]

Running away from grown up’s responsibilities 😅

[aheartlessartist]

I haven’t posted OG content in a LOOOOONG time but I’ve recovered from a bad emotional Haitus (due to a traumatizing experience with a production company) I lost a lot of confidence.

ANYWAY Im creating again and I feel good.

My IG if anyone is interested @ANDREAHPEREZ

Model is @mightymorphinceci

[aheartlessartist]

I hit a weird emotional wall in the past month.

Busting my ass and aligning my focus.

Dropped out of school AGAIN lmao

Because I got a job opportunity pursuing what I actually want to do in life.

Took a COVID test lol (Im fine)

I now have two jobs. Only one day off a week.

Weird to have blessings during a dark time.

[aheartlessartist]

The longer we go without talking the more I think you must really fucking hate me huh?

Or maybe you feel nothing for me at all, I probably don’t even cross your mind, because you don’t even have the energy or the desire to tell me off if I did do something wrong. Maybe it’s you who never wanted anything to do with me but felt obligated because we were “family”.

I’m sorry I loved you incorrectly. I’m sorry I asked for too much. I’m sorry I can’t be someone you want in your life.

[aheartlessartist]

8.28.20

This past week I got some inspiring compliments that made me feel like this dedication and devotion to my visual arts are worth it. It made my heart swell. I just need to keep pushing.

Just small but truly appreciated notions. In addition to being told “I can see how hard you work” and it’s little validations like that, that make me feel seen.

[aheartlessartist]

8.24.20

Hey tumblr, what’s up. Haven’t talked to you in while. Just want to candidly report that Um.... I’m really glad I didn’t k*ll myself within the past 10 years. When shit got hard. When my heart was torn from my chest.

No, instead, I’ve healed, I’ve opened myself up to new possibilities. I’m in a really loving partnership with someone who’s 1,700 miles away, we haven’t seen eachother In 6 months but I still feel blessed because finally I think we were forced to really tackle our communication problems and wow, it’s like a new relationship. I also allowed myself to take chances and do things for me, it seems to be really working out. I’ve pushing myself everyday with art, photography, my networking, even going to school now.

I turned my house into a home for the first time since Nora died.

To top it all off I feel like I really have a family now. Trying not to cry as I type this: I’m starting school this week for the first time seriously. Buckling down on my GEs, I just got a job and I have my personal work on the side. My two close friends (whom are a couple [that I’m actually marrying in a few months because SURPRISE I got ordained]) came by, cooked us dinner and got me a bag filled with first day of school supplies. It was super cheesy and cute. They wrote me a card and signed it mom and dad. -took a moment rn cuz I just burst into tears- I feel so undeserving. Like wow this is so much love and kindness. I can’t believe it. It almost feels too good to be true. I’m just really happy. I feel safe. I feel lucky. Which is funny to me because I think about all the stuff that’s happened in my life that could say otherwise, but this is proof that life keeps going if you let it. If you keep trying. And I try, so so hard. All the scars on my body can prove that. So yea, 15 year old “Drea”, 25 year old Dre* made it through okay. We are safe. We are loved. We are happy. We are strong. Bad things come and go, but so does the good. Enjoy the flow of life. It’s a journey that is such a gift.

[aheartlessartist]

I wish it wasn’t so difficult to embrace this “natural” masculine side of myself. It feels so good. Being feminine feels nice too but they’re so different. They offer different comforts. I’m in a position where I don’t feel the ability to more outwardly express myself and see what feels best. Idk if I even feel confident or safe enough to be as bold as I want.

I’m also just trying to figure out “where this comes from”

I’m dressed in a more masculine way right now and it feels... better? Idk how or why. Hmmm I wonder if... hm idk.

[aheartlessartist]

10.8.19

On my flight home. Waiting for take off. Sitting here not feeling the best. This trip was nice. For the most part.. it’s probably my overthinking and inability to simply let things go. I’m currently feeling as if I’ve lost the spark that makes me, me. Right now I’m feeling worries and scared that KC “dims” my light. It’s so frustrating trying to determine these hinderences, if it’s the distance or if it’s us. Please god shed light. I hope it’s because everything is so brand new for me.

[aheartlessartist]

What if maybe I don’t know how to actually love. Maybe it’s me who doesn’t understand unconditional. And longevity when it comes to relationships and what it takes to maintain something through changes.

Maybe it’s beyond my comprehension the true work and effort to keep connection and love alive through time and space.

[kotbonkers]

[memoriastoica]

San Francisco, California.

Circa 1962.

[catshapedcoffin]

[feministism]

[detailedart]

Details : Dancing Fairies, 1866, by August Malmström.