Herne

[th4rapy]

I have been finding it harder and harder to find things to talk about on here the more freedom we get. I am finding it so hard to balance school work and a social life. Trying to afford all my bills is slowing draining me more and more everyday. How does everyone else do it? I am exhausted and washed. I keep making bad decisions and choosing going out over class and I hate myself for it every time, but still continue to do it? It is this stupid reoccuring internal issue as I am sitting here at 11:49 trying to write this as fast as possible just to make it on time. As always. I need to learn to prioritize apparently. I live so far from my parents and its hard trying to adjust to this newly found independence I have. I know my grades are slipping but I find it hard to even care. I have lost interest for so many things as of lately. I am in this weird funk and all I care about is trying to forget the problems of my life by having as much “fun” as possible. I visited my friend at Fischer last night instead of doing this blog, my math homework and an essay. I am obviously ashamed of myself but will I keep making these bad choices? Probably. I dont even really know where I am trying to go with this. I just always see myself slipping up when I have the time to do what needs to be done. Maybe its the newly found independence I have from moving away from my parents only one year ago? But the worst part is that I am most definately too old to need my parents telling me to do what I need to do. I decided to go to my friends college last night instead of doing my blog, my math homework and an essay. For what? To have a good time. I am aware  of the bad decisions I am making but it is like I am numb to caring for anything these days. I put in half the effort I could and still dont really care. I try to find any certain kind of satisfaction to avoid the responsibilities and goals I set for myself. Like I said, I dont really know where Im going with this. Today, when I got home from St. John Fisher, all I could think about was the huge amount of crap I could have gotten done for myself rather than go out and party. But even then, Im still here rushing to get this done. I erased half of my blog on accident about 7 minutes ago and its like this bad karma for always putting my shit off till the last minute. I hate myself for it but things never change and old habits die hard I guess. 

[aherne14]

This may have been my favorite blog yet, seeing as though, I was laughing at how much I can relate and how much this is me. Every week, including this week I have waited to the last hour to do this blog. I have a feeling it was because I never did any work in high school. Literally my best friends did all my work for me. I am thankful, but at the same time not thankful because they are doing great in college and I am doing terrible as expected. I find myself making small changes in my behavior and slowly but surely I am becoming more responsible in some areas. Of course not in all areas. Keep your head up and keep trying to get better! Going out is a blast don’t get me wrong, but I find myself having the most fun when I am not stressed deep down about the paper I have due the next day! :) 

[bengalwriter2-blog]

Blog 9

As I wake up to the most annoying sound my ears have heard in eight hours, I realize its game day. With a smile on my face I shut my alarm off and roll out of bed to brush the morning breath out of my mouth.  After a hot shower I fry up my usual, two eggs, two slices of toast and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. Looking at the clock as it strikes 8:00 am I rush to my car to get to the rink blaring my favourite country artist Luke Bryan, the warm sun is beaming into my windows letting me know today is going to be a good day. I walk into the arena after getting the best parking space there is at Buffalo State’ G lot before the mob of students get there. I greet the boys in the locker room and am quickly reminded of the familiar smell of my teammates hockey musk from the previous days on the ice. I lace up my skates for pregame skate at 10:00am after replacing my broken stick with a new one. I taped up the fresh weapon and headed onto the perfectly manicured ice. The feeling I got as my sharp metal blades carved through the clean sheet of ice with every stride I took got me excited as my legs felt light and my mind was clear. Coach kept the morning skate light today and only had us out there for 20 minutes, which was fine by me because it will give me more time to nap after lunch. My class got cancelled this afternoon so I got to spend some extra time with the trainer to massage out my back before I leave the rink for lunch. Our trainer Sean really got in deep today, it was painful, but I liked it. My roommate Brett and I always go to MOMMA’S Fine Eats on game days. It’s a small hole in the wall Italian restaurant with the best meatballs in all of New York State. Around 5:00pm, get to the rink for a 7:00pm game, just in time to get myself warmed up and ready for the big tilt. My crisp jersey hangs in my stall with the bright orange Bengal logo sticking out staring at me in the face demanding me to have a big game tonight. Again, tape up my sticks, lace up my skates and put on all my gear the same starting with the left shin pad, always.  The music selection from the veteran players tonight is getting me fired up as I start to feel the butterflies in my stomach. We can hear the crowd file into the rink from our locker room just before we head out for warm up. Coach has me on the second line tonight between Brett and our buddy Rosey. We need to have a big one tonight; Potsdam has a good team. Warm up comes to an end and the Zamboni driver floods the ice to make it perfect for puck drop. The clock rolls over to 7:00pm, the game is about to start, the butterflies in my stomach are flying and I’m doing everything I can to keep MOMMA’S meatballs down and not cover the bench with her famous tomato sauce. The buzzer sounds and the puck is dropped. I wait nervously for my lines turn to buzz around on the ice when coach taps me on the shoulder. I remember thinking to myself, ‘’ I have worked my whole life for this moment, “You’re up kid!”. This is it.

[aherne14]

This is also a very easy topic to relate to for me because of all of the work, time, and emotions that go into making game day worth it. The nervousness and energy is what drives me through those late practices and those sprints at the end of practice. That exact feeling is what helps me through those 6am practices and strength and conditioning at 8am. That feeling is what gets me up in the morning and what helps me get to class, as much as I don’t want to. I pay attention to ever detail on game day and if it is negative I try to brush it off and keep a short term memory so it doesn’t affect my game. So yes, completely agree with the emotions that lead up to the game. 

[bigmike5552]

Music

The topic that I choose to talk about this week is music. I am pretty sure that music plays a big part in the lives of people in our CWP class. So I know that I am not the only one. Music has been something that has always stuck to me since day one. for as long as I can remember I have always installed music into my daily life. It is something that I truly love and adore. I use music in all sorts of ways. I use music to motivate me for something like sports. I also use music to mellow me down. Its kind of been like a form of meditation for me. Its very soothing to the mind. When ever I listen to music, I get an overwhelming feeling of joy, happiness and excitement. When ever I have a bad day I tend to listen to music to cheer me up. Whenever I am driving I always listen to music from point A to point B.  If I am walking to class I listen to music. I also listen to music during class depending on the situation(sorry Mary Beth lol). There has been too many situations that .Overall music play a big part in my life.

My favorite genre of music is Hip hop. Hip hop has always played a major role in my life. I grew up around people who loved this kind of music so naturally I grew to have a love for it as well. My favorite hip hop artist is probably Nas. from an overall standpoint, he has had one of the most successful rppers to ever grab a mic. Nas’s music is like magic to me. The words that flow through his mouth has touched the lives of many people. To most people nas is exactly what hip hop is suppose to be. I feel like he’s just an overall great rapper. From his word play, to punch lines, and overall flow. He has had one of the greatest  .He is a rapper worthy of being called one of the best. 

My all time favorite album is “Black Star” by Mos Def and Talib Kweli. The amount of chemistry that Mos def and Talib Kweli is impeccable. This album means so much to because it flows with my thoughts. Its really hard to explain but it does. As a young black man that lives in America, I can relate to this album in many ways.

[aherne14]

For me, this topic is very easy to relate to. Even though we may not have the same taste, Hip Hop has always been one of my favorite genre’s along with R&B and Rap. Other than our taste in music, I can agree that music can motivate my feelings. Whether it is sports or feeling down in the dumps, music is always there for me. Music speaks to my feelings in ways that other people can’t which is why I have such a connection to it. Plus, hearing my favorite artists new albums and hits are always exciting. This was a very easy topic for me to relate to. Thanks Mike!

[27stella-blog]

I always get so excited when this time of year comes around. As much as I hate to see the warm weather fade away and the sun start to set earlier, there are so many things to look forward to in the next couple of months! Fall always has a great crisp smell in the air that I love. I also like the fashion that comes along with the season. The big sweaters and leggings with boots. It is always fun to go pumpkin and apple picking and do corn mazes before Halloween. I used to like the haunted houses but I always get so scared that I have just stopped putting myself through that. The movies that are on TV are always really good time, my favorite being Hocus Pocus. Fall time also means Thanksgiving, which who doesn’t love. It is literally a day you can stuff yourself with amazing food and not feel guilty about it. It is also nice to have family all together and see the ones you do not see that often besides holidays. Once Thanksgiving is over that means that its one of the best times of the year, the end of the semester haha. Although it is such a stressful time to finish up finial projects, cram in the remainder of lessons, and study for the dreaded finials week, it is amazing when it’s over. Then everyone comes home from school and you can see all your friends from high school! The week right after finials week is Christmas, which of course is the best holiday ever! I love how everyone is so happy around this time of the year. There are also some more really good movies on TV for this season too. Elf is by far one of my favorite Christmas movies. My boyfriend’s mom always watches those sappy Hallmark movies and I usually get sucked into them and end up spending a whole day just doing that. Then of course there is the Christmas cookies and the fudge, love the fudge. I feel as though the different food really is one of my favorite parts in every different holiday. The winter is also a fun time because I love to go skiing and tubing. I have definitely found that living in Buffalo is much more enjoyable when you learn to love the snow. Especially since we have it for such a long portion of the year and so much of it. I am so excited for all these things coming up! I just hope they don’t pass by too fast.

[reallysteadything-blog]

The holidays really is the best time of the year, everyone around you is so happy to be giving gifts and receiving them and it seems like all the bad parts of your life can just slip away. Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas without watching Will Ferrell on repeat. Fall in buffalo makes everything so much more exciting too everyone here loves fall there are so many great places here to go to see the different colors of the leaves. The worst part would be finals week which I agree is very stressful but the reward after its all over is the most amazing feeling.

[aherne14]

I can totally agree with getting excited about this time of year. Although the stress of money around the holidays is always an issue for me, the start of fall and being able to change up your closet is always fun. Of course buying new clothes and trying to get the best gifts for your loved ones is always fun. I can totally agree with the fact that elf is your favorite movie around this time of year. It never gets old for me either. It is always the best once the semester starts to end and I couldn't agree more with that haha. I also find myself watching marathons of movies I have never seen before. The weather always helps with that because I never want to leave my house. All in all, I can totally relate with all your feeling about this time of year!

[aherne14]

One thing that I am truly proud of as a person is where I come from and my nationality. It feels nice on the inside to be proud of what makes you special and unique.  What I find really unique about people when I meet them is where they are from and what their nationality is. Whether they are Hispanic or Native American, I find it interesting learning about people and their families. Personally, my family is from Buffalo, New York and Akwesasne, New York. My family on both sides is Native American, making me full Native American. My mother and father are Mohawks and my mother is a part of the wolf clan. My father on the other hand is turtle clan. Since you take your mothers clan, I am also wolf clan. I am very proud to be native because I believe that it is what makes my family and I so special. We spend time learning about our Nationality and how to please the Creator. We treat our ancestors how peasants treat kings and queens. We believe they need the best treatment. For example, when we are at a social gathering or a family party, when it is time to eat, our elders always go first so that we know they will have enough food. The young wait till the end because it doesn’t take much to fill their tummies. When meeting new people, learning about who they are is the best part in my opinion. Normally, it is easy to connect with people when talking about nationalities and comparing the differences between yours and theirs. I am truly inspired by other people’s beliefs and what makes them so special compared to others. I find it easy to talk to people about where they come from and about their families. Personally, my family is most important and if you don’t agree with your family, I hope to believe that there is a good reason because if so you are missing out. Family is the center of my happiness. If we can relate on these main topics then I am sure we will get along. If we cannot relate, that is ok too. Being able to respect our differences can also make us very unique. This is very important and people will respect you very much if you can accept the differences and look past them. So who cares if you don’t agree, it’s just the cherry on top if you do.

[aherne14]

I find it very hard in life to do things that I am not completely excited or happy about. If there is something that I do not want to do, why do it? In my life lately, school has been really hard for me to stay in and not drop out. I truly understand why people decide to drop out. College is very hard. If it wasn’t for the people in my life, I mostly likely would have already dropped out. They push me. To where I am convinced there is a reason why I am here. They convinced me that I am going to regret it and question if it is just because I don't want to do the work. Or the fact that I do not want to get up out of bed and go to a class that I do not enjoy. They are the people that pick me up before I fall. They don’t let me fall because they want the best for me. What they convinced me was that, I should want the best for myself. If I don’t want that, then there is not point. They say that this is going to be really hard. But I have to do it. That this struggle right now is going to benefit me in the long run. I trust them because I love them. I believe that they know whats right for me. Not only is my family supportive, but my coaches and friends are too. I don’t want to disappoint any one and that is one of the reasons as to why I am still in college. They push me to my limits and right when I think that I can’t do it anymore, they push me more. They show me that I am stronger than I think, and that I can be pushed more. Only proving what and who I really am. They show me again and again that I can be whoever I want, make however much money I want, and do what I want. But what they tell me is that education can never be taken away from me. People are what inspire me besides myself to be someone great. Someone who will be remembered as someone who is great. I want to be great. With that being said, I am willing to go through the tough emotional roller coaster that college has to offer. I am willing because I don’t want to be someone who isn’t remembered as great. Instead remembered as that ok girl who dropped out of college because she couldn’t take the pain. That is my biggest fear. People always say, “I don’t care what people think.” I understand that to an extent, but the people that I do care about what they think are the ones that matter the most. Is it worth it if they think less of you for dropping out? Well it matters to me because they matter to me. I want to be the best that I can be and then better than that. So I can help the loved ones around me for when they are about to fall. 

[aherne14]

Finding a topic to write about has been very difficult on my part. Finding something not to complain or lecture the audience about has been a struggle. What I find myself enjoying the most and not complaining about is my relationship with my girlfriend. I have never been one to speak about my relationships openly, let alone on a blog. That is when I know I am meant to be where I am, in this relationship. I am genuinely happy, and it feels great. Taking her to see my family, meeting all of her family, and being absolutely content with just watching movies all night has been a true blessing. We have trust and we support each other in all that we love and want to do. I have been in relationships before where I don’t deserve to be treated a certain way. Right when I stopped looking for love, I found it. My girlfriend being my first open lesbian relationship has been scary for me at first, but worth it in the end. My friends and family has supported me more than I could ever imagine. Along with her family accepting me into theirs and supporting us with our one in a kind love. I believe that our love can get us through everything and anything. I also have never been one for long relationships because I always thought that they were a joke and would normally get to bored. I am happy to say that my love for her has completely changed my perspective on relationships. Coming into college and never being in a long relationship, I would have never thought I would have found someone so special within the first semester. I am so confident that one day I will be able to call her my wife. Being almost 19, you probably think that me saying I'm going to marry a girl I met my freshmen year of college is a joke. Well, I have never been so sure about something. It’s that certain feeling when you hear her name, or see her face. That certain gut feeling when you know that this is real. This love is one in a lifetime, and I would be an idiot to ever think about letting this go. So I am blessed. To have found someone who makes me write about them on a blog. If I were to see myself writing this blog a few years ago, I probably would have laughed because I never knew that a love like this was possible. Thanks for sitting through my soppy story about my love life. 

[aherne14]

What I have had the most pleasure of being in my life is a sister. Along with being a sister, has included being an auntie as well. This is one of my most appreciated things to be as a human. I get all the benefits of being an auntie without actually having kids of my own. I get to teach them everything they want to know about. I am always there for them when they need me. I get to steal them from their parents when they are having a bad day and do anything they want. I get to hang out and be goofy or when they are in trouble, when I talk to them compared to their parents, my advice doesn’t seem to go in one ear and out the other. I have two nephews and three nieces about to be four any second. Having three older sisters has given me so much joy in being a part of all my nieces and nephews lives. They are always impressing me with how smart they are. My one year old niece knows her numbers and ABC’s. My other niece, who is in middle school has straight A’s, which might I add, I never had. My 6 year old nephew can do a behind the back shot in lacrosse. They are all truly amazing in their own special way, which only makes me love them more. Being a role model for all these little humans only makes me want to be a better person, student, athlete, auntie, sister, and daughter. I try my best to be the best me so that they can try to be the best person themselves. When they are bad, or give their mommy’s attitude or don’t listen, I am not afraid to set them straight or yell at them. I feel like at times they are used to always being yelled at by their mom or dad, that when I yell at them, it hurts their feeling really bad and they realize what they did wrong. I love them so much and can't wait to see the person that they turn into. 

[littlekw]

Blog #1

[crazycandypepsi-blog]

I have the same feeling like you sometimes too, little KW. I am a easy person so I always try to be not too serious with my friends. So they always think that I am ok with all jokes or I don’t care about anything they said. But I do care. I still have a sensitive heart inside of me. Not everyone cares about me. Even they say you are the ‘best friend’. So I only have two real friends, they are not with me all the time but they understand and care about me. No matter when or where, they always stand behind me. I think this is the REAL friend. I am a so glad that I have my friends to be with me. 

[aherne14]

KW, your blog is B0$$. Reading this one has made me very excited to read your next one. I can relate to being a complete wise ass and jackass. I can most defiantly relate to being a sensitive little shit. I give my whole heart into my relationships and being sensitive is both a blessing and a curse. Im glad you found someone who tries to help you find yourself instead of having you be whoever anyone else wants you to be. I also found someone who makes me want to be the best me and i couldn’t be more grateful. Cant wait to read the next blog!

[buffstate84-blog]

Inventory

What makes a good writer? I believe a good writer must grab the attention of his audience and captivate them through their entire piece to submerge them into what they are reading. As a writer I believe a strength I have is getting my point across to the reader very clearly. I make sure they walk away with a full understanding of what I have written and don’t leave feeling confused. I also believe my pieces are very smooth and free flowing almost as if I am just in conversation with the reader, and lastly I am very good I feel personally at making connections back in my writing being able to tie a lot of my papers together for good conclusions. But obviously no ones perfect especially not me, with my writing I make silly or stupid mistakes usually involving grammar, punctuation, or even sentence structure. Which honestly puts me at a sub par writing level for where I believe I should be at this time in my college career. One topic I enjoy writing about is the evolution of the word race and how it has changed over time and separated towns, states and even countries. Just the fact that a 4 letter word with such little definitional meaning can cause so much damage over time. A few things I enjoy to do in my free time consist of working out, running, playing or training for football, having bonfires, going out on the boat going for a bike ride, or just relaxing and watching college or professional football. Ultimately, I loving being outdoors and being active, just the freedom you can have mentally by being physically active and living a healthy lifestyle is just an unbelievable feeling. Throughout this semester i’m looking to improve and come as close to perfecting my writing as possible. I’m looking to clean up my sentences improve and cut down on simple mistakes and become more formal and respectable in my addresses. I want to be able to walk out of this class and be able to walk into the job market feeling confident in what I can bring to the table at a respective place of employment that will help me in my career endeavours for the future. I will hopefully achieve this by using the tools and resources i’m provided with by you to better understand how to better myself in this field using things such as the book and your constructive criticism to not only get through the class but to prepare myself for the next task that lies ahead. The most important part though is that you do give me the constructive criticism necessary to push me to improve in these areas I have addressed need improvement and even other areas you believe I need improvement in that I don’t see myself. Also to show me maybe what I did wrong specifically and how or what I can do next time to fix the mistakes I have made to improve each and every time in my writing.

[aherne14]

I definitely agree about wanting to walking out of this class and be comfortable and confident enough to be well above average with my writing skills and formality. I would have liked to hear more about yourself instead of so much about writing. For me reading more about your personality and your interests may be easier for me to read and make me more excited to read your next blog. Having bonfires is one of my favorite things to do as well, so long their is s’mores there! Boat rides in the sun and watching sports is definitely on the list of fun things to do as well. Other than that, I totally agree about your goals and expectations of this class! 

[bigmike5552]

The difference between High school and college

Its crazy to think that I am over a year out of school. Everything is happening so fast. Its as if my life is flashing before my eyes. Things here in college is a lot different from back in high school. The one big difference that I notice is the independence. I no longer have people climbing all over my back, telling me to do things. I must get everything done on my own. I dont have my parents with me pushing or forcing me to get my work done. coming to college, I had to learn how to use my time management wisely. I had to learn how to use this not only because of education but also because of the fact that I am a student athlete. last year as a freshman here at Buffalo State I had a hard time managing my time but now that I have experience I am a lot better at it. Anther huge difference between high school and college is the teachers/professors. Teachers in high school were a lot more strict. It was their way or the highway. things had to get done in a certain manner or order, and I felt that You had to learn in a certain way in high school that some students may not be accustomed to. In college the teachers are a lot more open minded when it come to situations of that nature. I feel like in college, you are free to learn in whichever way you choose. teachers in college allow their students to be a lot more free in many ways. most college teachers wont be hard on you because you are expected to get the work done. they understand that we are all young adults and that there should be no excuses as to why work is not being done. In High school I feel that everything is handed to you. People guide you to success your success. In college that is the complete opposite. you must go out get get everything on your own. you wont have an academic  adviser hounding over you telling you to keep up with certain things. Everything must be done independently. In high school I was fortunate enough to have football coaches and teachers care about me enough to do what ever it takes for me to pass and move on. In college our not going to have a teacher follow your every step. That is what I have learned over the course of my time here at Buffalo state college.

[aherne14]

I completely agree. This blog was very interesting for me to read because being in college, we can all somehow relate to your blog. Being able to relate to your blog makes it easier to read. I agree about the whole coaches and teachers in high school pretty much pushing me across the finish line to have decent enough grades to keep playing the sport. In college you are expected to do everything on your own or its your loss. In college you learn what ever way works best for you and i love it. Cant wait to see your next blog!

[bengalwriter2-blog]

I grew up loving and playing the game of hockey. At first it was just something for me to do, something to keep me busy. But as I grew older the game grew on me. It started being more than just a hobby, I started treating it like a job. A job I enjoyed going to every night of the week. Every year was different, different teammates, coaches, teams, systems. It would always keep me on my toes and excited for the next day. Before I came to Buffalo State to play hockey I ended my junior career in Niagara Falls Canada. It was the first time I lived away from home on my own. I had to cook for myself, do my laundry, clean my own place. I had to learn how to be an adult very quick or I was not going to last. I eventually figure it all out and now cooking has become a past time for me every chance I get i try to cook for myself whether it be something simple or if i have the time I will try a new recipe. That last season in Niagara Falls definitely prepared me for my 4 year journey at Buffalo State. When the hockey season is all over, I switch my focus from hockey to off-season training. I always want to get better so I dedicate many hours a week to lifting and conditioning. I will still skate a couple times a week but I definitely tone it down a bunch. Other then lifting in the off-season I enjoy going golfing with buddies, kayaking and fishing. These are just hobbies to keep me busy in the summer. They also keep me relaxed and are an escape when i want to relieve some stress. The golf I do take serious at times. I play in a few tournaments every summer with some buddies. We go for fun and usually make it into some friendly competition between the group of us. But when its all said and done I can not wait to get back on the ice with my teammates and get the season going. Hockey is not just a hobby it is a lifestyle.

[aherne14]

This blog for me was very interesting for me to read seeing that we pretty much have all of the same interests. I grew up playing travel hockey at a young age, traveling all over the US and Canada. I am very familiar with all the conditioning on and off the ice since I played ending senior year of high school. Playing lacrosse at buffalo state has also had a huge effect on my summers always conditioning and being in the best physical shape for the next season. This summer I have recently gained an interest in golf as well working at a country club and all. This blog was very easy to read as if you were speaking directly to me, making it easy to comprehend, and easy for me to stay interested. Cant wait for the next one! 

[aherne14]

What I find most interesting in life is people. The people in our life who impact us in a way that we can never forget them. That is what I try to be in life. Someone who you are excited to meet and talk to again. We meet A LOT of people in our life, but what will you be remembered by? Family and friends besides lacrosse is what brings me the most joy in life. What I have noticed the most about happiness is that it is very hard for me personally to be happy without people I love around me. Yes, lacrosse brings me so much happiness, but would I enjoy myself as much if all my friends didn’t play it with me? In high school, I played on a travel hockey team and what I learned is that it is very hard to have fun and enjoy yourself when you don’t enjoy the people around you. So although my life is surrounded by always being in healthy physical and mental shape, I don’t think that I would survive life if I didn’t have my loved ones around me. People is what I love. Separate from people, lacrosse is my life. I live it every single day whether I'm playing with my stick or going for a run. I have played in countless number of games since I was three years old, when my father put a stick in my hands. I play for Buffalo State currently and was supposed to go to Scotland for a world tournament. Due to passport issues, unfortunately we were unable to attend the tournament. Other than that, my goal as a sophomore at Buff State, I plan to become an All American. I believe I can do it and will do anything to complete this goal. Being a Native American, I play for the Creator and all of my ancestors. With that being said, becoming an All American isn’t important so long I am playing for the Creator.