The thing that fascinates me most about shse is their (potential) codependency. The boys knew each other for a few weeks before they decided that they would, without a single doubt, sacrifice themselves for the other. They're genuinely batshit insane about each other. Where one goes, the other follows. In just a mere few weeks of knowing each other, they decide that yes, this person is mine. There's not a single path they wouldn't take, not a single decision they wouldn't make, not a single sin they wouldn't commit if it meant protecting the other.
Sieun takes Suho's place without a moment's hesitation, as if it wasn't even a question to begin with, knowing that he might not walk unscathed. All because he didn't want Suho to get hurt, did not want to ruin his birthday, but most of all, did not want to muddy the image of Boemseok in his heart even further. He cared so deeply that he walked into a lion's den headfirst, with no back up and no concrete plan.
Suho, in turn makes them pay. He beats them bloody, he humiliates them, and leaves them battered. He walks into that gym, outnumbered, and full of rage because how dare they hurt his Sieun?
And when Suho's in coma, Sieun just about losess it. How dare they snatch away the one good thing in his life? How dare they take away his sunshine so easily, snuff out the light that brightened his universe, like it— like Suho meant nothing? He kicks, he screams and he breaks every single one of them in ways that they can never heal from, they should not have hurt his Suho.
I imagine post coma shse to be anxiety ridden.
Don't get me wrong, they're happy, finally. With no worries, no looking over their shoulders anymore.
But the second Suho leaves Sieun's eyes, his breath hitches, his jaw goes tight, and his hands shake, barely noticeable but there. And they don't calm until he sees Suho again. For Suho, its his heart picking up ever so slightly, an unease in his chest, sweat beading down his neck. What if Sieun needs him? They cannot stay away from each other. Every second away fills them with an unmeasurable amount of panic. What if he's hurt what if he's hurt what if he's hurt. Months pass, Suho gets better, but the anxiety doesn't go away. They spend so much time together, that the joking "you should just merge souls at this point" turns into concerned glances, and the unspoken words "this is not normal" linger in the air. Worry fills their friends eyes as they watch Siuen freak out when the tracking app— that they install in their phones, just to ease their anxiety— shows Suho's location at a hospital. He's okay ofcourse, he'd let Sieun know that he was gonna stop by there, but in his panic, Sieun can't think straight.
They spend so many nights together that after a point, Suho doesn't even go to his house anymore. His home is where Sieun is.
They understand that this dynamic isn't healthy, but they can't really bring themselves to care. Being in each other's orbit, constanly occupying a space in the others head, being the centre of each other's universe, that was them. And it works perfectly fine. It has to work after everything they've been through.
Over years the anxiety fades, slowly and surely, but never completely. They no longer need to be in each other's presence 24/7, but they also cannot go hours without checking up on each other. Suho would send mindless texts, mostly voice mesaages of him narrating what he's doing, or just photos of the things that catch his eye, a pretty flower, an interestingly shaped cloud (shaped like penis. "Are you a child?" Sieun texts back) a cat looking at the camera grouchily, captioned "your twin :)" and Sieun would let him know how his classes went, his grades, and complain about his particulary annoying classmates. And if the chat went silent for too long, they'd shoot a text, "u ok?" And of course, the tracking app never went away. They knew each other's wearabouts at all times.
It's not the healthiest dynamic in the world. They know that. Their friends know that. Anyone looking in from the outside knows that. But after everything, this is their normal. Loving each other, caring for each other is the only way they've known how to live for so long, and they're content with it.
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
areudirty
vaporwave
