(Almost) Midnight thoughts
Itâs been a while since I poured my feelings and thoughts in this platform. Although I genuinely wanted to do the writing earlier, it was hard to find the perfect time and mood. When I said hard, maybe I was just being too overwhelmed and overly not excited with these things called life.
These past few months have taught me more deeply about patience. It is true that the patience can be hard sometimes, or most of the times. For me, patience is the gap between what we want/wish/have/happen with the actual thing/condition that we currently have. In the research method, we may refer the occurrence as a problem that can be used as a background in the introduction, the first chapter of your thesis. Nope? OK, we might have different approach in defining something and itâs totally fine! Anyways, patience. Even though my Mum used to tell me to be patient, like almost everyday, the practice is however a little bit more complicated than the statement itself. One huge thing that I can clarify after learning more about the patience during these months is that patience, not losing hope and keep trying cannot be separated to each other if you want to make your patience more fruitful. They complement each other.
There was a one hour pause in this writing process because I helped my brother to find a mouse due to his touch pad on his laptop could not work properly. Sadly, we could not find one although we believe that we should have at least two perfectly working mouse(s) in our home. What a pain. Therefore, we need to buy a new one. Again, our patience is being tested.
Oh, continuing my previous paragraph, yes, those three - patience, not losing hope and keep trying - are indeed vital traits to be mastered in this short life. While patience is a gap between the hope and reality, not losing hope and keep trying are the gap filler. Do you see what I mean?
Not losing hope is an easy thing to do while you are happy, positive and have something to hold on to. However, it is not easy when youâre feeling blue or low. In my opinion, there are some things that you can do if you are experiencing low feeling. Based on my experience, declining mood can occur if some things happen not according to my expectations. So, the only key that works for me is by not expecting anything to anyone, including myself, in the first place. All I am trying to do are relying on my God and thinking whatever the results are, I know that those are the best for me. I am now trying to have this mindset: to let go everything that I did with my best effort and ability, even try to forget about what I did. I tried to apply this mindset especially during the wait for something that I wanted so badly. With no expectations, there will come no pain, well at least we can minimise the pain to almost zero.
Second thing that usually makes my mood turns into low is when I use too much social media, especially instagram. In the past, I had that burning feeling when I looked at my friendsâ or colleaguesâ update about how success they are, how they achievements are far higher or bigger than mine. After that, I felt my dreams were far too high for someone small like me. Do you know what I did to get rid of those toxic feelings? I tried to apply that super-famous bookâs tip by not giving a f*ck about them! I mean, I realise I put too much energy to read, acknowledge and be jealous on their amazing achievements. At the same time, I admit that I am happy and proud of them, but talking about the percentage,those feelings may be only compose about 20% of my overall feelings in looking at their achievements, whilst other 80% feelings are indeed negative. I also uninstalled instagram for more than a week already and I think it is the best decision ever. You can call or judge me anything, but I will be back whenever I feel ready about it. I might have found the key to improve this situation, which is the realisation that achievements come after hardwork and prayers which make them deserve to have such achievements. I also read some other articles and suddenly realise, it is not a good and healthy way to compare my life with others. Lastly, I think it is important to gather yourself with optimistic and supportive group, which in may case is my own family. Therefore, I have just recently realised that I should be more grateful to have my family who tirelessly always support and be there for me. Always.
The third component to have a more fruitful life is by keep trying. I know this is such an old advice, but it truly works! You must have found out this yourself, right? So, I think no long explanation is needed to stress this point.
Letâs keep our lives happy and meaningful! (by any means, your definition. I mean itâs your life, so you are the one who define it).