We have a counselor service at the office and I thought I would love to try making an appointment with the psychologist. So, be it. This month, I had the first appointment with a psychologist ever in my life! This is not something that I am proud of, or ashamed of, but you know, because that was the first time, I feel like it is worth sharing.
Actually, I expected nothing during the session. I mean, I have learned about counseling before, so maybe I have a general idea about it. What I learned was that good counselors usually ask open questions and basically they will not drive their clients, but instead make their clients to think what decision is the best for themselves. I have anticipated all of them.
Precisely at 10.00 AM, a call came. In the beginning of the session, I felt awkward and I told her about it. I also told her that I have never talked to a psychologist before, so I did not know what to do in the first appointment. Thankfully, she was very professional and helpful. She briefed me the ground rules during the session and that the confidentiality is guaranteed. She also told me that the call was recorded to ease the follow up sessions in the near future and I could have the recording as well if I wanted to. After that, the session began.
Honestly, I did not expect her to almost right about everything in our first appointment. I have sensed some problems in me since few months ago and she spotted it. Maybe her 25-year experience cannot be ignored in this case. Thus, she helped me to create a strategy to overcome my problem(s). She told me that we need to try and make progress, yet a progress does not necessarily mean to be successful. She told me that I could freely set another appointment next time. She also told me that she was here for me! Overall, the session was helpful, especially to learn about myself deeper.
However, it is true that talking about mental health is still taboo somehow, including to my Mama. When I told her that I had an appointment with a psychologist, she was surprised and asked, “Why? Are you sick?”. Not to mention that she attempted to come into my bedroom when I was on call with the psychologist and obviously I pushed my door so she could not come in (duh). Oh and one more thing, she said something like “Are you talking about 'something’ with the psychologist?” after the session was over, when I came to the kitchen. Well, obviously, she was all wrong about that ‘something’ and I was not comfortable about it. I mean, I am grateful for my Mama yet she should at least respect my privacy more, or better, she should have been more supportive about it. But I totally understand, maybe she was worried too much about me and that is a kind of love, right? What my family knows about me probably an ambitious girl and is very strong against every challenge, although they know exactly how I will be broken down in some circumstances. But to tell you the truth, I am not that strong and positive (at all). I also need a professional partner to improve myself and I do not think family or friends will do because the chance of being bias is just there and too high.
Home, after having chicken kung pao as lunch
